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Causa Mortis

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About Causa Mortis

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    The fool who persists in his folly becomes wise.
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  1. Excess complaining is Cardinal SJ sin. It's like following procedures for NT
  2. I don't know man, especially about your third one - the good ones invest more over time. That's why they're good. So far, all of the comments have been cliched portraits of other people. I think individuality matters a great deal more. There are social forces in all directions on this. So, "I don't know, it depends on the individual" is probably the best answer.
  3. I once had a special lady friend who was a drama queen. "Drama queen" doesn't really do it justice. At some point, I got sick of her shit, and started treating her like crap. I dropped one line on her that I'm pretty sure later caused a psychological breakdown. She threw her drink in my face. She came back a week alter. Another time, my hands wound up on someone's tits in a context that was completely inappropriate. That one was also deserved. Today I am a wee bit more reserved
  4. The internet is great, there are a lot of cool people online, just don't talk about it or do it from a work computer to avoid the hate. One time, a guy who worked in my office got blown off for a date from OKC last minute. Normally I would console or misdirect, however he spent 15 minutes venting loudly about it - f-bombs, whining, almost crying - within earshot of executives. Shit was fucking funny. I did still console, admittedly with a supressed smile ---------- Post added 05-04-2015 at 08:30 PM ---------- About the same ratio as crabby people to friendly or at least courteous people, mysteriously.
  5. Dude you are not falling for large men of questionable educational attainment who use your affection to pimp you out. That's emotionally crippled. Maybe you are tilting towards colder women. No big dealio - they have pros too. Its not dysfunctional. Its not even outside the range of normal. What are you even complaining about? ---------- Post added 05-04-2015 at 08:19 PM ---------- Yeah bro, that's just what an INTJ needs: more data an analysis in a realm of life where data and analysis probably do more harm than good. Just go with it. Your urges. Their responses. Your feelings. Their feelings. Your wants, their wants, affairs generally. Whatever happens, all the waves are good, you just gotta get on the fucking board and let it happen...
  6. I'm blushing under my fur...

  7. I love bowling!

  8. You doubt that as a young lad I had something approximating a relationship with a pool filter? I think Etinger and Moena found that the actual number of good relationships which will be fucked up is 4, so maybe more research is needed on this subject. If you don't like Etinger and Moena's findings, perhaps you could recognize the feebleness of the human intellect to form accurate abstractions of affairs of the heart generally, and so bend your intellect to just go with what whatever happens? I mean, there is so much that isn't controlled and that often feels so disappointing, regardless of whether you have them or you don't have them...and at the end of the day love is the same as pain anyways...
  9. Isn't "marmy" brit slang for being sad-upset about shit you don't control? As in "Oh Jane's boyfriend didn't call her today, she hasn't left her room all evening, being a bit marmy about all this" as they sip their tea and crumpets - you know, very British, very sophisticated, very knowingly cool and circumspect, what have you. I don't think that's selfish, and I don't think you need to change. Its just a preferences mistmatch. That's just what she wants, and was hoping that you would pull trigger, but did not, so she moved on. I know it hurts a little, but ultimetly its groovy man - if you wanted to ring it, you would have. WRT others, dude this is 2015...culture is such that most things do not last that long. Do not fight it by worrying about religion, just accept things as they are ---------- Post added 05-03-2015 at 07:50 PM ---------- I think it was a Gottman at UNT. Apparently, the first eight relationships are often "inframatural experiences" - the ninth is apparently the ticket. I've got a ways to go, unless one counts my left hand, my right hand, both working together cooperatively and a series of experiences i had in my teens with a pool filter
  10. Why are we traumatizing the past, when the past was pretty much perfectly normal, when he wans't in control of it, and when its in the past and he can't fix it? She wanted a ring, he was meh, she found a new dude, he will find a new girl... The others are, well, um, hate to say it but most things are so temporary these days and one can't do anything about that, other than go with it. He's not served by marminess about this, and he's plenty marmy already... ---------- Post added 05-03-2015 at 07:33 PM ---------- Isn't it the first eight good relationships? That's what I thought it was. The ninth...that's the ticket.
  11. ESFP or ISTP... In another universe I might actually be an ISTP.
  12. I went through this stage. Thank you, INTJf, for listening to this shit while only moderately flaming me. Guppy, live it up man!
  13. They are normal. When the relationship is over, things get cold. No 2 ways about it... You are being a bit marmy about it - but that's cool man, we all do that, I'm in a state of permanent mild marm. I strongly suspect that she would have stayed with you, if you were seriously considering a ring. Otherwise, why have that awkward conversation? When you were non-committal, she probably thought "He's had 2 years, I want to get married an he may never pull the trigger"
  14. Although I agree with your general thrust here, there's some psychopathology in this, particularly here: "most people have no more thought about their partner other than what they can do for them" Most people do form emotional bonds with others wherein their and their partner's happiness comingles to at least some extent. Extremes of this are where things get problematic, but I'll take the partners who are too nice over the partners who are too cold for anything past a month.
  15. Dude what you have described is not excessively selfish relative to the general population. I suspect other dude was fake, or, if he existed, she would have stayed with you if you reacted favorably to idea of marriage. Also, viewing it as "wasted time" is kind of silly. Did you enjoy your time with them, find it satisfying? If so, then it was not "wasted time." You have plenty of time.