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About catzmeow

  • Rank
    Core Member


  • MBTI


  • Biography
    I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.
  • Location
    Mermaid Cafe
  • Occupation
    internet ninja
  • Interests
    books, music, movies, sports, young'uns. The usual.
  • Gender
  • Personal Text
    Almost Sane
  1. I think women slut shame over what a woman looks like she does; men tend to slut shame over a woman's behavior or perceived behavior.
  2. You are 28. A realistic age range for a single dad with women who aren't going to care that he is a single dad is about 25-32. You might have to break down and date a 30 year old woman to find someone who isn't going to care that you have a child, perhaps because she has a child of her own. Truthfully, a 2-4 year age difference is nothing once you reach a certain age.
  3. No. Are you thinking you should get a friend with benefits? I was thinking more along the lines of fantasizing about Ryan Gosling while you're playing with your girly bits, but whatever floats your boat, girl. I was just saying, "don't spend so much time looking back that you miss what's ahead of you."
  4. I took the test for narcissism and scored at the average level. I don't think I'm more narcissistic than average, and less so than a real narcissist. ENFPs are weird, though. I don't know if we make sense to other personality types at all. I love helping people, but I don't need recognition for it. Knowing that I did something that helped someone is extremely gratifying for me, but I work in a field where I might help a young person for months or even years before they make much progress at all, and there will be many missteps and false starts and issues before that occurs. If I were truly narcissistic, I think I'd need a lot more external gratification than I typically get. I do think I'm generally well-liked in real life, but I'm not always liked. I'm a good boss, for the most part, and a fair one, but I have to disappoint the people who work for me at times, or even call them out for not doing something, and that isn't fun, but it's part of the job. I'm more than willing to be unpopular for doing the right thing, or to be the person who sends my staff home to their families while I stay at work late at night finishing something up. I find it hard to believe that a real narcissist could survive in a lot of the jobs that ENFPs self-select. Same with INTJs. A lot of you do very exacting, time-consuming, non flashy work that may, over time, with a lot of hard work, result in some degree of recognition, but my experience with narcissists, and I think I was married to one for 12 years, is that they can't hang with anything that demands much from them for very long. They don't have the stuff, so to speak. My husband, who is INTJ, is the least narcissistic person I can imagine. He's a very humble guy, he never brags, he never tries to be the center of attention, and he's the most giving and considerate person I've ever known. He's a much better person than me, truth be told, although probably people who know us in real life think he's rather standoffish and not very personable, and I'm more charming and warm. He does tell me that he's the funniest guy I know, and while he is very funny, he's not the funniest ever, but I do think we all need our little illusions about ourselves.
  5. No, I like them. I would, however, undergo mastectomy or whatever was needed if I found out I had cancer (god forbid).
  6. Just don't get so stuck on fantasizing about your ex that you don't let yourself be open to new possibilities. I know INTJs don't typically rush into that next big thing, but maybe put someone else's head on that body.
  7. I'm really disappointed, I thought this thread was about people who smelled good.
  8. Dude, I don't care about you or your issues with being ISTJ. I'm looking for information on why my husband might be shifting in personality type, if he is. It has nothing to do with your situation.
  9. really great answer.

  10. I don't mean to be rude here, but this thread isn't about you. It's about whether an INTJ can become an ISTJ and what that would mean in real terms for an ENFP spouse. That has nothing to do with you. ---------- Post added 07-24-2015 at 08:42 PM ---------- Yes, but our relationship is less stimulating than it used to be. We do talk, but not as much as we used to. Part of it is that we relocated cross country about 2 years ago, and the move and transition have been very stressful. Before, he was a full-time grad student and I had a very different job. Now I am a program director with a lot of stressors and he is a full-time employee who travels a lot. I am sort of wondering if the stress of our move has caused a shift in his personality. I know that it has, somewhat, in mine...my shadow type is actually ISTJ, when I'm extremely stressed out, although I am normally an ENFP. So, I've gotten more introverted as I cope with those stressors, and so has he, and we've spent less time together, because we both work more, and when we are together, we now deal with details of life more and more, and with the interests we used to share less and less. We share a house, we share responsibilities, but we do less stuff together purely for enjoyment. We have not made time for hobbies, and haven't had a lot of energy for them, either, though things are getting better and I hope that we are able to get back to that. I guess I'm worried that it is a reflection of a major personality change due to the changes in our life.
  11. Is that possible? When my husband and I started dating, he was definitely an INTJ, and we connected on that mythical shared sense of intuitiveness. We talked about ideas, theories, politics, religion, all kinds of incredible things. Now we've been together for 8 years and on recent personality tests, he comes out as an ISTJ. And, not just a little S, but a lot S. How is that possible, and what does it mean for our relationship?