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Janae

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About Janae

  • Rank
    Member

Personality

  • MBTI
    INFJ
  • Enneagram
    4w5
  • Personal DNA
    Independent Creator
  1. This, this, this. Recognize your own emotional response to the situation. What's that about? Sounds like you took her complaint as a personal attack and got defensive, rather than making an effort to understand and acknowledge your girlfriend's perspective. Which, given that you like her company and care about her as a person, would be the logical response ;)
  2. Go buy an aloe plant, the kind with smaller bright green spotty leaves. Break off a leaf and smear the juice/goo all over your face and just let it dry on there. After it's dry you can dab on a bit of face lotion if your skin feels dry/tight. Brew up some plain green tea, let it cool, and use the tea bag to dab green tea onto your face. Let it dry and dab on some more. Can also dab on lotion after it dries if needed. Be kind to your skin; pamper it and be gentle. It's under stress and you can't attack the acne without attacking your skin. So just build up your skin's health and strength so it can take care of itself. Also go to a dermatologist!
  3. Why are you opposed to including fats? Did you end up going with the stainless steel? I could never get my eggs not to stick to stainless steel no matter how much oil I used. But I've never heated a pan that slowly either.
  4. Just be open. Ask her what she's looking for. If she is only around another few months, maybe she would consider a short-term thing. Or maybe she would be happy to be your friend who cares about you and makes you feel good and heals those wounds, without building expectations of you. You guys can negotiate what you each want and need, IF you put it on the table. It's never too early to DTR with an INFJ; if anything, especially with the ambiguous casual zone, it should be negotiated continuously to make sure you're staying on the same page. Don't expect her to do it first, you're the one with the baggage.
  5. You need to be upfront with her about this. It sounds like you are very committed to staying casual--there is no way you're going to let this relationship develop. And if you're acting like you want to "see where it goes" and getting your emotional needs met, you're going to lull her into a false sense of safety, you're going to encourage her to get attached, and you're not going to be able to reciprocate any of it, and it will end badly. The only honorable thing you can do is let her know clearly and explicitly what your limits are in terms of involvement. If you can be friends with her and keep it strictly to that level, she might be able to work with it. I think many INFJs will agree with me when I say that we don't understand this "casual" thing. Intellectually I kind of get it, but I don't relate whatsoever. Emotionally it makes absolutely no sense, and it's asking for pain. Big difference between a relationship not working out because of differences and one that where there are no obvious reasons to break up, but one partner was never going to give it a chance to begin with. Seems disrespectful in a way. Bottom line, she deserves to be able to choose whether to date you as is, and you have the choice to date her as is. Don't take away her choice by being dishonest about who and where you are.
  6. Yep, it doesn't seem to matter where these functions fall in the stack, FeTi is like a common language--we understand each other. This is true for me with ENTPs, INTPs, even the STPs, although I don't always have a lot in common with them. I figured the greater tendency of Fe users to conform to and respect local social and cultural values was a part of this; we all know we're following a lot of the same familiar scripts and it's easy to follow along. I've noticed the "coldness" thing in some foreigners who simply aren't following these scripts, regardless of whether they have friendly intentions. Same with Fi users--they can be disdainful or simply oblivious to these social niceties, or have their own unique scripts, which makes me wonder if there are two camps, like you implied, or one big Fe camp and a bunch of idiosyncratic Fi users. I'm not privy to very many pure Fi-Fi interactions, love to have others chime in.
  7. I would assume she was waiting for someone in particular, seems like women don't go out to social places on their own--at least, I would be uncomfortable doing so.
  8. Um, you're seeing a girl right now? Is your roommate aware of this fact? Could be the reason for the distance if she found out around the time you moved in. No INFJ would see you as a viable romantic option if you had someone already, serious or not. The way I see it, she probably got excited about meeting someone like-minded and interesting, then reverted to quite a lesser degree of openness when she remembered how little you know each other. Hope that makes sense.
  9. I can do it, but that doesn't mean it's easy. If the person appears to genuinely want to fix things, it's extremely unlikely that I won't try too. In the past, I've doorslammed people and never looked back. As I've grown more mature I've come to realize my part in events leading up to such situations and become much more flexible--I might distance myself, but there's much more of a grey zone. Then again, I've never had someone act so egregiously heinous that doorslamming was the only appropriate consequence, lucky me.
  10. Direct, do you like the person you're with to have that option as well? Would you say she/they know that's what you have in mind when you say that?
  11. There's a lot more where this came from, if you can handle unflappably happy music
  12. Lol. You're quite welcome. :)

  13. I died laughing. Thank you =]

  14. The test is complete. Your score is 32.
  15. I went to town on the guy who did this to me. He was also chatting with me through two different profiles--creeptastic. He had some kind of story about his wife being okay with a don't ask/don't tell policy (they lived on the opposite coast of his business destination near me). I shut him down and moved on.