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About Thinker

  • Rank
    Core Member


  • MBTI
  • Astrology Sign
  • Personal DNA
    1 healthy child, so OK


  • Biography
    Obsessive learner
  • Location
    Australia...for the geographically disabled...that's the big island in the south
  • Occupation
  • Interests
    Travelling, Observing,Travelling, Fly Fishing,Travelling, Reading,Gardening; Did I mention Travel?
  • Gender
  • Personal Text
    Only one life...make it a good one

Recent Profile Visitors

3,934 profile views
  1. I share your pain. This is true of places like Sydney (Australia), where everybody judges you in relation to your harbour view. If you have a fantastic harbour view, you must be successful. It's facile..... I have found this to be true generally in terms of smaller cities/towns, but my experience is really only anecdotal. Sydney is the largest city I have lived in (>4 million) for any time. I have also lived in other cities around the world and it's difficult to separate how local culture and the size of the city might relate to how people relate to one another. I have spent a lot of time in London (UK), and have found people to be warm, when they get an opportunity to socialise. I have no idea about Montreal vs Vancouver as I have only travelled through them. Perhaps the differences you are identifying are cultural rather than in relation to the size of the city (see my bolding)?
  2. I wasn't suggesting that. I was referring to a scientific paper by the Department of Economics, Uppsala University, Sweden, which referenced the sinking of the Titanic and 17 other maritime disasters, covering 15,000 people. It used the Titanic disaster as part of its study. It suggested that the sinking of the Titanic was exceptional due to the gender bias evidenced by survival statistics. My bolding: I take your point in relation to the Titanic, about class being given precedence, however the statistics still show that regardless of class, 70% of women survived and only 20% of the men. I'm unsure how the class/gender divide may change that result and (on a quick review) it didn't seem to be covered in the paper. The paper suggests that the "Women and children first" command was given by the Captain on the Titanic. My text in bold above. My bolding again, above.
  3. The Birkenhead Drill is a thing (1852). I understand it was used during the sinking of the Titanic (1912), although the evidence shows that it has never been universal.
  4. There was an article I read a while back (and can't find it quickly now). It said that often the definition of happiness (in tests) is loaded in terms of extroverted attributes. Attributes like tranquility, calmness, serenity, and peacefulness are not measured. In other words, high spirited attributes are often seen as the key to happiness in studies.
  5. Bogan is similar to trailer trash....
  6. I re-partnered at 54. There were many more options than when I was 18. A magnitude difference..... This thread is hilarious.
  7. This journalist has just discovered family businesses and their "unique" attributes.
  8. We agreed on 50:50 split of assets from the outset, along with some time limited, but substantial, monthly financial support for her to get her life back on track. We agreed on 50:50 care of our daughter who was 15 at the time. I also agreed on significant monthly child support for our daughter while she continues to study. We agreed we would not fight so that lawyers would not be the beneficiaries of our breakup. When we both engaged separate lawyers, her lawyer said she was entitled to more. My lawyer said that if she contested, I would not end up with anything like 50:50. She didn't contest and we ended up with 50:50. There was a lot of history between us about this decision which meant it was considered fair by the two of us. I was earning a good salary, but was tired of the stress of a high profile senior position and was nearing retirement. She was aware that I needed to step back from my role and take a break. Her salary was OK, but she worked for a government funded organisation which was constantly going through expenditure reviews. This all happened during the GFC and our wealth took a huge hit, especially as we had to liquidate a large portfolio of shares to finance the purchase of a house for her during the divorce negotiations. This happened pretty much towards the bottom of the market. I looked at alternatives but debt markets dried up as well. Even though the assets were split 50:50, I did a lot of the financial heavy lifting. We agreed on a generous value for our residence, which was transferred to me during the divorce. Our residence was in the middle of renovations and we would have taken another big hit selling it in it's current condition during the depressed real estate market. I ended up staying in the house and financing the completion of the renovation. Once the renovations were over, the market had turned down even further. I suffered another large financial hit selling it for less than the cost of renovation plus the agreed market value during the divorce. It took the best part of two years to sell. The house was in a peri-rural area and we had lived there for 20 years. It was very sad when I eventually left the house. I miss the peace and quiet and natural beauty of that home. It will always be a part of me. Funnily enough, it was some of the furniture in the house which created the most friction. I guess I was at a point where I really didn't want to live for an extended period in a house without furniture, and didn't want to buy any (while I renovated), and she needed some for her new house, and didn't have the capacity to buy it. In the end she took most of the furniture. Today, some 4-5 years after the dust has settled and the divorce was finalised, I have re-partnered and we are in a much better financial situation. I am working part time and looking towards retirement. My last payment, for monthly financial support, to my ex-wife was about 1 year ago. I am still providing some support to my daughter who has moved into her own (rented) apartment and studying at university. She is currently in a really good frame of mind and I am proud of what she has achieved. So far she has turned out as well as we could hope. My ex-wife's situation, is sad. She ended up purchasing a huge house, jointly with her sister and brother-in-law. After a few years, the relationship between her and her sister got to the point where they couldn't live together. She also borrowed to purchase a house for her (financially delinquent) parents to live in. Every now and then her parents stop paying the meagre rent and she has to read them the riot act. They are in their late 70's and spent the proceeds from their own ($500K) residence over the last 10 years. She has also purchased a house to live in while the jointly owned house is sold. She complains of having no money to spare, but is heading to Europe later this year. Her family is a financial disaster waiting to happen, and she wants to help them all..... Unfortunately, it was going to be with my blood sweat and tears without the divorce. After reading this, it would seem that the reason we divorced was all financial. That wasn't the case.
  9. I could only read about halfway through. It seems to be one person's experiences, presented as the "truth" across the population of intj's. People are more nuanced than this.
  10. Child support is a difficult topic that is laced with emotions. In Australia you have a choice to negotiate child support during the divorce. The court which issues final divorce papers will review the agreement to ensure the child is adequately cared for. The agreement can include joint custody and can be flexible. There is also a statutory calculation which can be used to calculate child support, based on relative contributions from each party, (based on income and percentage care of the child). There has been considerable debate about the fairness of the calculation, although it is often difficult to separate the anger arising from the divorce from the real issues. Child support is not mandatory once the child reaches adulthood (18 in Australia). Child support is important, and it seems to me that it can become a huge issue in a divorce when the needs of the child(ren) is/are forgotten. My advice to clients was to not let emotions get in the way of the negotiations with their ex-partners and to attempt to negotiate a realistic arrangement that will suit everyone. The reality is that most people do allow their emotions to take over and then the lawyers are the only winners. The divorce is only the first stanza in negotiating the results of a broken marriage. The negotiations continue often for the rest of your life, where there are children involved.
  11. I think you have been misguided by your bricklayer friend. Child support is based on taxable income which is based on profit. https://www.humanservices.gov.au/customer/services/child-support/child-support-assessment It can also be negotiated between the parties and then the Child Support Agency's only responsibility is where the payments stop. The calculation is often misunderstood by those who pay it to their spouse, and (being a CPA) it's been a while since I had to do the calculation for a client, but it is definitely based on taxable income. Occasionally, the Child Support Agency will issue an ambit assessment, which is aimed at getting the taxpayer to object and clarify their taxable income. The sad reality is that, for people in business, it can usually be relatively easy to avoid or substantially reduce child support.
  12. INTj, left handed and always on time.
  13. More than 3 dislikes and the car explodes.
  14. Doctors, lawyers, engineers, musicians, farmers etc etc... are all "looked down on" by somebody. It's the act of judging and "looking down on" other's healthy and positive pursuits which is the problem.