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Life without social networking friendship
Old 01-13-2013, 09:23 PM   #1
WeAreAllKosh
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inspired me to ask a few questions to those of you who haven't maintained an online social networking presence for an extended period:
1) Why did you stop (or never start) participating in your chosen social networking site(s)?
2) How has your life changed (or proceeded) without social networking?
3) Do you consider yourself on an extended social networking break or you are forever done with it?
4) If you never joined a social networking site, do you ever feel like you're missing out on something that could be worthwhile?

If you're an advocate for social networking sites, good for you. No need to defend your decision here. Doesn't mean you can't stay and read about people who chose a different path.
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Old 01-13-2013, 09:26 PM   #2
vedera
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I think this is dumb because internet forums can be considered social media. I would defend this statement but it's rather obvious.
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Old 01-13-2013, 09:36 PM   #3
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1. I chose to stop it because I don't feel compelled to share updates happening in my life in that format. I don't like the invading feeling I had with it, not to mention I don't like the privacy issues that seem to come up with social sites.

2. Yes my life has changed for the positive. A huge weight has been lifted and I feel less stress from removing myself from it. It was a highly toxic environment from my experience and it was actually disconnecting me from others instead of the opposite.

3. It has been recent but I am forever done with it I believe

4. I guess this doesn't apply since I was a part of it, but since my departure I don't feel like I am missing out on things. I was missing out even when I was on it because half the time I was never on the site. Like I said it was incredibly intrusive and obnoxious to me. I offended people by leaving but they have my number if they still want to stay in touch.

---------- Post added 01-13-2013 at 09:37 PM ----------

  Originally Posted by vedera
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I think this is dumb because internet forums can be considered social media. I would defend this statement but it's rather obvious.

Yes this is true. This is the first forum I have joined and in many ways it feels similar. It still seems less suffocating here though it is still early.

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Old 01-13-2013, 10:10 PM   #4
WeAreAllKosh
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  Originally Posted by vedera
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I think this is dumb because internet forums can be considered social media. I would defend this statement but it's rather obvious.

There are plenty of ways to define social media. The way I choose to define social networking is when someone uses their real name to create an online profile with the intent of staying better connected with their real life friends and family.

I understand that some INTJf members maintain blogs on this site and have developed offline friendships with other forum members. The questions I posed aren't directed at them.

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Old 01-13-2013, 11:46 PM   #5
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I maintain a Facebook account under a fake name to keep in touch with some family members, but overall I hate the entire concept. I can't believe people really want to know every time someone's kid gets a new hat or rides a pony. Or a buddy just had a beer at a restaurant. Back when everyone had one or two rotary phones in the house we didn't run home and call everyone we'd ever met because we just had a really yummy omlette for breakfast. Why did this crap suddenly become worth knowing??
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Old 01-14-2013, 12:16 AM   #6
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I only have LinkedIn to stay in touch with co-workers, outside of that I am not interested in facebook or twitter. For me, I have no interest in connecting with family and I really did not have friends from childhood, so there is no need. I have no desire to reconnect with my past.
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Old 01-14-2013, 01:01 AM   #7
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Old 01-14-2013, 01:08 AM   #8
arrietty1992
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  Originally Posted by WeAreAllKosh
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inspired me to ask a few questions to those of you who haven't maintained an online social networking presence for an extended period:
1) Why did you stop (or never start) participating in your chosen social networking site(s)?

Got bored, tired of "friends".

 
2) How has your life changed (or proceeded) without social networking?

A lot better. Though I do miss some of them "friends" sometimes.

 
3) Do you consider yourself on an extended social networking break or you are forever done with it?

It depends. As long as the social networking causes me no troubles with my private life, then yes, it can be considered a break.

 
4) If you never joined a social networking site, do you ever feel like you're missing out on something that could be worthwhile?

Entertainment, but that's for kids who don't have a full schedule and obviously have a lot of things on their minds.

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Old 01-14-2013, 10:31 AM   #9
IreOfDesire
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I've never used social networking sites and I don't regret it. I don't consider this forum a social networking tool either. About your questions:

  Originally Posted by WeAreAllKosh
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1) Why did you stop (or never start) participating in your chosen social networking site(s)?

Why should I? I don't see any benefits from it. If I want to connect to somebody I use other (superior) communication channels.

  Originally Posted by WeAreAllKosh
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2) How has your life changed (or proceeded) without social networking?

Same as before.

  Originally Posted by WeAreAllKosh
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3) Do you consider yourself on an extended social networking break or you are forever done with it?

I don't consider starting to use them. But who knows, everything flows.

  Originally Posted by WeAreAllKosh
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4) If you never joined a social networking site, do you ever feel like you're missing out on something that could be worthwhile?

Most of the time no. It seems like a big waste of time. There were however few times that I missed some interesting events that were announced and coordinated through FB. In general if someone wants me somewhere he/she knows how to find me.

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Old 01-15-2013, 04:09 PM   #10
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Prior to becoming a member of this forum I have never created nor maintained an online presence through any social networking platform, and will continually refuse to do so. I find it a colossal waste of time and energy. I do not have any acquaintances that cannot be reached through other - quicker - modes of communication. My life has proceeded accordingly without any hiccups due to my chosen exclusion from social media.

My sole purpose of joining INTJf was to participate in worthwhile conversations on a wide-range of topics with similarly knowledgeable individuals. Granted, excellent conversation can manifest anywhere, but I'd much rather raise the statistical average exponentially by spending my time in these forums than writing brief blurbs of nonsense elsewhere.
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Old 01-15-2013, 06:40 PM   #11
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I don't really consider forums social networking since it is anonymous (more or less) so my responses are with regards to facebook (or facebook like sites).

1.) The amount of content that I actually wanted to see was too small compared to the enormous amount of crap. It makes me wonder if people are so egotistical that they think people want to hear about their second bowel movement of the day or if they're simply putting on a show for everyone but either way it amounts to the same enormous pile of crap.

2.) I don't think my life changed.

3.) I check it occasionally but I'm not "involved."

4.) I feel like I'm missing out with regards to networking. That if I flaunted certain things that were happening in my life I be better off with regards to networking but I hate social networking too much to get involved. Added to that, is I'm only hurting myself by not doing so, so maybe I should...
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Old 01-15-2013, 08:13 PM   #12
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1. I stopped participating in Facebook because I was getting no perceivable benefit from using it, aside from the odd ego stroke or two from posting a status and getting a couple of "likes." Forums are not the same. I use forums frequently because they have the discussion power for me to get an occasional insight. Social networking sites are limited in discussion capability with the added risk of alienating people that could help you in your professional life if you discuss too intensely.

2. Nothing huge has changed, but I was never hugely into Facebook in the first place. It certainly saves me time to not read vapid life updates and blood-boiling, sky-is-falling political commentary.

3. I intend to use social networking for actual networking when relevant, but other than that, I have no intention to even log on.
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Old 01-15-2013, 08:25 PM   #13
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I never had one,

thank you Ni.

btw, if you need use a bathroom and you are offered a free bathroom but with a ten cameras inside will you use it? i rather piss in the dark corner of a street.
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Old 01-15-2013, 10:09 PM   #14
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I made one, but realized right away that it was something I didn't care about. I already talk to everyone I want to talk to. I don't need social networking to 'reconnect' with anyone.

I also don't really give a crap about what random people had for lunch, think about something, or are doing later.
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Old 01-16-2013, 12:58 AM   #15
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1) Why did you stop (or never start) participating in your chosen social networking site(s)?

I never saw a reason to participate to begin with.

2) How has your life changed (or proceeded) without social networking?

Less time wasted on something I find useless?

3) Do you consider yourself on an extended social networking break or you are forever done with it?

Never have, never will.

4) If you never joined a social networking site, do you ever feel like you're missing out on something that could be worthwhile?

No.
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Old 01-16-2013, 01:01 AM   #16
catatonic
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  Originally Posted by WeAreAllKosh
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inspired me to ask a few questions to those of you who haven't maintained an online social networking presence for an extended period:
1) Why did you stop (or never start) participating in your chosen social networking site(s)?

I love my private life.
Thousands of friends on facebook means everyone has an eye on me, lol.

 
2) How has your life changed (or proceeded) without social networking?

Not much, but I just feel safe, lol.

 
3) Do you consider yourself on an extended social networking break or you are forever done with it?

Forever I guess, I don't even like to have a phone.

 
4) If you never joined a social networking site, do you ever feel like you're missing out on something that could be worthwhile?

Yeah, kind of. I like to try many things. I'm glad that I've tried friendster, facebook, twitter, etc.

 
If you're an advocate for social networking sites, good for you. No need to defend your decision here. Doesn't mean you can't stay and read about people who chose a different path.

Oh no, so it's not good for me to deleted all of my accounts?
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Old 01-17-2013, 10:11 AM   #17
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Nice thread
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been wondering about this for a while.

Why did you stop (or never start) participating in your chosen social networking site(s)?
Thought it was a dumb idea from start. Yes I know that's not a reason, it was a preconceived idea but time made me think I wasn't that wrong at all. As an introvert and as the INTJ I am I have very good memory: social networks expose me to expressions of friends and "friends" saying things that are not true. They often tell me something in person and something different is posted online, all their stories are in their favor and even the most bitter person is posting messages of positivism and friendship online... pure lies, I can't cope with that. Other times they tell me in person what they really feel or how they see what happened to others... and their posts express something different... that's pure hypocrisy. At the end I can't get rid of this idea that all they need is attention and will do anything to reinvent themselves as a concept, not as a person.

How has your life changed (or proceeded) without social networking?
Isolated me in many cases. Sometimes the info flows only on social networks and not email, some people are so lazy they won't send you an email but just the chain of messages via the social network and having none... I'll never know. Also I'm happy because I'm not involved in all that hypocrisy mentioned previously. Specially those recurring expressions via drawings... too much for old people, too childish in my opinion. Also my language is still the same (almost) while most people I know had their language mutated into those childish expressions.

3) Do you consider yourself on an extended social networking break or you are forever done with it?
I believe I'm done with it. I'm shocked.


If you never joined a social networking site, do you ever feel like you're missing out on something that could be worthwhile?
Not - at - all.

Why? simple.
  1. Most people I know have presence on social networks.
  2. Some are friends, some coworkers so I'm exposed to their life in many ways (keep this in mind)
  3. Many of them have lots of "friends"


Still when X and Z needed blood transfusions I SHOWED UP and never found any of their friends. They posted the message on their social network and it was a big failure. Still when A, B and C needed support because they had to move to a new place out of nothing and when they had to leave their husband, or when they were really sick... or when they were injured... I showed up and never came across any of their social network friends, this includes the "coworker friends".


Since then I've been asking a few "friends" how they feel about their SO MANY FRIENDS if nobody helped them even with a single drop of blood... I don't understand it. Still after the justifications they still receive messages of "I love you, you are my everything, my friend, my brother... my soulmate" WHAT A FKN JOKE!!!!



As you can see I don't understand the real life (serious) application of that kind of systems.

Take this forum as example, many members talk about their FB and FB friends... still I don't understand why they come here to ask for advice to a bunch of strangers whey they have all those friends on FB... they could ask them... right??? don't they have friends to talk to??? support???? I come here to ask for opinions, the same opinions I ask in person to people I know, that's the difference.

That's what I think.
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Old 01-17-2013, 10:16 AM   #18
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  Originally Posted by WeAreAllKosh
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inspired me to ask a few questions to those of you who haven't maintained an online social networking presence for an extended period:
1) Why did you stop (or never start) participating in your chosen social networking site(s)?
2) How has your life changed (or proceeded) without social networking?
3) Do you consider yourself on an extended social networking break or you are forever done with it?
4) If you never joined a social networking site, do you ever feel like you're missing out on something that could be worthwhile?

If you're an advocate for social networking sites, good for you. No need to defend your decision here. Doesn't mean you can't stay and read about people who chose a different path.

Was thinking about this topic this morning.

1. It doesn't seem that most of facebook or myspace or twitter (or all the others that I'm not savvy enough to know about) really does anything positive for our real-life relationships.

Bonding is best done in person, and when that's not possible, a phone call or Skype does it better than turn-based status posting.

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Old 01-20-2013, 08:18 AM   #19
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  Originally Posted by WeAreAllKosh
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1) Why did you stop (or never start) participating in your chosen social networking site(s)?

I've never had one because Social networking sites seems to me to be a place where people boast about the number of friends they have. If you have less friends you're generally considered to be unpopular. Also, there are only about 5-10 people in my life that I'd like to keep in touch with regularly but social networking sites kind of pressures you into adding random people.

  Originally Posted by WeAreAllKosh
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2) How has your life changed (or proceeded) without social networking?

Wouldn't know, never been on a social networking site so I can't compare.

  Originally Posted by WeAreAllKosh
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3) Do you consider yourself on an extended social networking break or you are forever done with it?

Forever done - My phone is enough

  Originally Posted by WeAreAllKosh
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4) If you never joined a social networking site, do you ever feel like you're missing out on something that could be worthwhile?

Back when I was younger when I hadn't 'found' myself, I used to feel isolated when everyone else was talking about what they had arranged to do on social networking sites. The weird thing was I had no interest in doing it with them but the idea of going out with people that are like you appealed to me.

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Old 01-20-2013, 10:29 PM   #20
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1) Why did you stop (or never start) participating in your chosen social networking site(s)?


I just don't see the point of spending plenty of time peeping into other people's personal time and not to mention exposing my own personal affairs to a lot of people (especially online).

2) How has your life changed (or proceeded) without social networking?

I don't get to experience unhappiness related to being envious of other people's good experiences and I don't get the pressure of having to project anything good about myself online just because others are doing it. I do get to miss lots of social info but then I'm not really concerned with it.

3) Do you consider yourself on an extended social networking break or you are forever done with it?

I might never try it (unless you count this forum as a social community) and even if I do, I'll make sure it wouldn't make much of a difference or consume too much of my time.


4) If you never joined a social networking site, do you ever feel like you're missing out on something that could be worthwhile?

I did miss a lot in terms of social affairs but then again, socializing (especially online) is the least of my concern so I really can't care less.
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Old 01-22-2013, 10:18 AM   #21
robn86
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  Originally Posted by WeAreAllKosh
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inspired me to ask a few questions to those of you who haven't maintained an online social networking presence for an extended period:
1) Why did you stop (or never start) participating in your chosen social networking site(s)?
2) How has your life changed (or proceeded) without social networking?
3) Do you consider yourself on an extended social networking break or you are forever done with it?
4) If you never joined a social networking site, do you ever feel like you're missing out on something that could be worthwhile?

If you're an advocate for social networking sites, good for you. No need to defend your decision here. Doesn't mean you can't stay and read about people who chose a different path.

1. Lost interest. I started to see the rediculousness of it before anyone else did and got out early. Started with MySpace in its hayday. Never did much facebooking. I realized that I don't care for the ever decreasing intervals of irrelevant personal updates, so why would anyone care about my updates, should I decide to post any? And it takes up a lot of time. Never even touched Twitter and I doubt I will do LinkedIn either, even if its good for work.

2. No real change. If anything less stress over online drama. Some family members expressed discontent over not being able to keep contact as closely when I abandoned FB in 2010. However if I was really that important, I have an E-mail and phone number.

3.Forever done. Absolutley no interest in it.

4. Is the question, would I feel like I am missing something if I was spending a lot of time social networking? Sure.

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Old 01-22-2013, 10:53 AM   #22
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  Originally Posted by WeAreAllKosh
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1) Why did you stop (or never start) participating in your chosen social networking site(s)?

  1. I know how insecure they are.
  2. I know how inauthentic they are.

 
2) How has your life changed (or proceeded) without social networking?

I am not bogged down with fake, synthesized, improved, altered, enhanced or otherwise not real contacts.


 
3) Do you consider yourself on an extended social networking break or you are forever done with it?

Homie don play like dat.


 
4) If you never joined a social networking site, do you ever feel like you're missing out on something that could be worthwhile?

People's reports on their Facebook/Twitter time are not like reports on, say, picnicing.

"I keep posting all these great quotes I find but nobody echoes them. I dunno why, but my farm is making really good crops, and I'm finally doing good at harvesting them on time, so I like facebook!"

"We had such a lovely afternoon. The wind was cool and the sun was warm, two does came by to nibble grass and we saw a family of rabbits and baby bunnies. After a delicious meal we played cards by the creek."



No. I'm not missing being addicted to a false sense of connectedness that gives pseudo-pleasure in the form of stress abatement. I want real experiences, real food, real relationships, real love, real pleasure.

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Old 01-28-2013, 03:06 PM   #23
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Where I work several times there have been attempts to make wonders out of social media. Every single one ends up replacing the person in charge or the project... investment is lost... so couldn't help to share this:



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Old 01-28-2013, 03:17 PM   #24
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I prefer "organic" methods of networking (meeting people the old-fashioned way--at work, through friends, sharing common interests, etc.).

It used to be easy and rewarding to meet and associate with people this way. But my world has certainly become smaller as others have become dependent on digital forms of social networking while I've stuck to my analog luddite ways.

I hand-write letters, too. I guess by modern standards I'm a social retard...
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Old 01-28-2013, 03:23 PM   #25
changos
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  Originally Posted by Mogura
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I prefer "organic" methods of networking (meeting people the old-fashioned way--at work, through friends, sharing common interests, etc.).

It used to be easy and rewarding to meet and associate with people this way. But my world has certainly become smaller as others have become dependent on digital forms of social networking while I've stuck to my analog luddite ways.

I hand-write letters, too. I guess by modern standards I'm a social retard...

x2 (except for the retard thing)
at times I get kinda excited by getting to know someone who can sustain a conversation... only to ask me if I have FB...

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