[BlackMita]

There is no point in me being more social. All the benefits one supposedly gets out of it just mean frustration for me. Imagine if I went to all the trouble -- more "friends" than I could manage, having to drown out small talk instead of just avoiding the possibility, etc...

Of all the useful perks that come with being socially adept, I want only a select few, which I can get just by being polite.

[jadefalcon]

Originally Posted by karenk To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

I feel like I don't have enough time for the things I'm interested in when I have free time. For me socializing is last on the list. I find this a little perturbing because I could be by myself for a very long time and not get lonely. I just feel it would be beneficial to be a more social person but I don't really have the incentive. Do others relate to this? (I hope since this is the intj forum.) Is it important and how do you get the motivation?

I don't think you have enough to do then
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I too can feel like this. When I have free time I feel like turning it into DOWN time rather than building models, computer time, etc. Perhaps it is because my brain has had enough exercise for the day and want some rest? For me, coming to these forums and typing is natural and is not taxing on my brain. Words and my thoughts just flow.

[Algol]

	Originally Posted by intj1999 To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Believe it or not, I feel more LONELINESS when I am with a group of people that I do not know very well, than I do when I am alone, all by myself. Of course, when I am with a group of very close friends or family, I do not mind being social. It is a matter of comfort level and being able to communicate with those around me....that has an effect on my level of loneliness.

Well said. I think that sums up the situation for a lot of us. I try to force myself to be more social in order to develop social skills that will be necessary if I am to pursue my goals in life. I often have to laugh at my own bumbling though; socializing does not come naturally at all.

[intj1999]

	Originally Posted by Algol To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Well said. I think that sums up the situation for a lot of us. I try to force myself to be more social in order to develop social skills that will be necessary if I am to pursue my goals in life. I often have to laugh at my own bumbling though; socializing does not come naturally at all.

Over the years, I have learned how to ACT. It is extremely exhausting for me though... and I only do it if absolutely necessary. I went to a grad school function recently and left as soon as the food and drink started to be served because I had nothing left to say to anyone. I had already talked to my friends and people were starting to get drunk and strangers were coming up to me to make small talk and I felt ridiculous trying to explain to someone that I had no idea who they were talking about. This person was trying to convince me that I MUST KNOW someone who was very popular in my graduating year. When I kept insisting that I did not socialize much and had no idea who she was talking about, the other woman would not leave me alone....so I had to leave, just to get away.
I felt very alone, even though there were thousands of people there.
This type of thing happens all the time to me and I have come to accept the fact that it is OK to feel this way. That there is nothing wrong with me.

[ssrprotege]

	Originally Posted by Andrew Popovici To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	For me, I have only a few really good friends... and then everyone else (acquaintances), and I much rather be by myself than with a bunch of acquaintances. They're like a dime a dozen. I figure being a little unsocial is a common introverted trait, but us INTJs take it a step farther.

Hahaha. Categorising people is one of my long-lasting habits, and it works quite well.
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I prefer to have few good friends that I really care about. As much as I give my life-long commitment, I have high expectations for them as well.

	Originally Posted by Andrew Popovici To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Where in Eastern Europe? I was born in Romania, but moved here when I was a couple months old, but I guess my parents' influence got me to not talk so much, especially about "superficial subjects". I hate small talk (which happens to be another intj trait).

Yep, pointless talks I don't like at all. Again, though, it depends on who talks to me. Based on categories, my reactions may vary, from flat indifference to intense attention.