[notoppings]

How many of us have come to a clearly defined crossroads in life? One where a clear choice had to be made. To choose the one path that would define you. It may have been the less cautious path or the harder of the two. The other may have been the easy path with little to no hardship.

How do we decide which path is better for us? Is it better to struggle against the tide to improve ourselves and risk all or is it better to just let things happen as they may?

If you have made a crossroads choice how did you decide? Are you better off? Or are you still struggling looking for that answer? Which makes us a better person the road less traveled or the smooth well traveled road?

[jikin]

Crossroads are always popping up in my life. I just realized this morning that I have come to yet another one. Frustratingly I have no real idea where the other road is leading, I only know that I must take it. Over the past 2 years I've come across 4 or 5. It seems that my life is in an extended period of change.

Which makes us a better person the road less traveled or the smooth well traveled road?

I don't believe that there is an all encompassing answer to that. Sometimes taking the road less traveled is just a waste of time and energy, harder is not always better. Other times you have to fight and just go for it.

How do we decide which path is better for us? Is it better to struggle against the tide to improve ourselves and risk all or is it better to just let things happen as they may?

I always look for the path that will lead me into the most personal growth. In myself I find at those moments it is best to struggle against the tide. Change is never easy, but we should be always striving for betterment, no matter what the cost.

[Seppuku Savant]

I've been trying to decide between law and a MD/PhD in molecular medicine. The latter path includes 8 years of obtaining degrees and 3 years residency. 4 years fellowship. It's daunting and I'm not a spring chicken. A job including critical thinking and salary is equally important to me.

I'm a science individual. Always have been always will be. I just thought law would be an easy way out to make the same income, but I doubt I will get the same job satisfaction. I want to know what I'm doing is going to make a difference.

I chose the latter. = )

[Ligda]

My last crossroad was to go to grad school or to continue working as a pharmacy tech after college. I didn't know if I would like the program, if I could succeed in it, or even if I would like that field. I went for it, knowing that I could go back to what I was doing if I didn't like that program. Not very easily, but I could go back. I love what I'm doing now only a year later and have decided to apply to a PhD program for next fall.

You really don't know what path is better for you. There's no one "right" answer. And, sometimes, you'll choose a path that is you'll later decide was the worse of the two (or more). That the beauty of hindsight. But, even if you did choose that path, at least you learned something, and (hopefully) you're better for it. There's a huge amount of faith you have to put into the future. But that's life.

[lisakki]

Choosing between Finance and IS was the big crossroads for me.

Finance was the conventional, well beaten path. IS was the risky, unique path.

I chose IS in the end, because I felt like in this globalizing world, it's too easy to be lost in a sea of talented people. To stand out, I felt like it was important to pick a major that was both practical and fit me well. I may very well regret this decision later, if my skills quickly become obsolete, but as Americans say:

"Nothing ventured, nothing gained."

[redbaren]

My cross road right now would be which college to go to and what to major in, since this will unlock many more cross roads in my life.

[Monte314]

There are some good posts on this thread, mentioning watershed events in peoples' lives.

I have observed, though, that the fundamental "crossroads" usually go unrecognized until much later. Deciding to marry a particular person is certainly a crossroad, but it didn't happen "out of the blue". "Small" decisions made much earlier bring one to this point.

I have given a talk for college "kids" from time-to-time called "The Ten Questions That Determine Your Worldview", in which I show how the answers you give, USUALLY WITHOUT MUCH THOUGHT, to 10 "yes/no" questions in large measure determine the course of your life.

So, keep your eyes open: you might not recognize that crossroad when you come to it!

[LionsPride]

I have had personality crossroads. I mean, I've had watershed events/ life moments too, but the ones where I realized I needed to change on the inside were every bit a crossroads as the stuff that might be obvious to other people.

I recall a few where I was aware of who I was and who I would be if I didn't decide to change. It was a choice and one that I was aware of at the time, not in reflection. Once I chose my direction, it was like a switch and from that day forward I was on a different path. The scenery changed slowly, but each step took me further away from the crossroad and the other path I could have gone down. I feel blessed to have had the chance to consciously change myself in that way.

[punkyplatypus]

	Originally Posted by notoppings To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	How many of us have come to a clearly defined crossroads in life? One where a clear choice had to be made. To choose the one path that would define you. It may have been the less cautious path or the harder of the two. The other may have been the easy path with little to no hardship.

So far, I've only run into a few of these major life changing crossroads that I've noticed. I expect to come across many more with the years to come. The ones I've noticed were choosing between college & the armed forces out of high school, choosing my major for college, choosing my college, becoming a loner vs valuing friends & family, deciding on a religion if any at all, sticking it out in college or starting my career early, etc.

	How do we decide which path is better for us?

Sometimes it's weighing out the pros and cons and deciding which is best for me. Other times it's more about a gut feeling and deciding what feels "right". Even other times when I'm feeling indifferent it's about what's easiest.

	Is it better to struggle against the tide to improve ourselves and risk all or is it better to just let things happen as they may?

I've found that whichever path I seem to choose there's always a struggle and a chance to improve myself. I think the choices we make helps us redefine our goals and standards, thus giving us room to improve. As an INTJ, I guess these goals are always set high and so it's always a struggle.

	If you have made a crossroads choice how did you decide?

Usually (as the previous statement puts it) the goal is choosing which path is better for me. However, sometimes it's about putting other's first. I may still gain from the choice, but the goal may be that someone else (close to me, of course) also gained.

	Are you better off? Or are you still struggling looking for that answer?

I don't know if I'm in a better place than I would be if I had chosen different paths. I'd like to think I am. For the most part, that's why I've chosen my paths. However, there's always that "what if" and sometimes a feeling of regret. I try not to focus on this though. I believe my current and future paths are what's important now.

	Which makes us a better person the road less traveled or the smooth well traveled road?

The road less traveled may be a short cut or it may be the long way. Either way it identifies it's traveler as an individual. The smooth well traveled road is easier to traverse and predictable. It may be less stressful, but its travelers are sheep of the flock.
I like to mix up my path. Sometimes I feel adventurous and I take the road less traveled, but when I start to feel lost I return to the main road. From there I can plan out my next adventure to take a risky short cut or to follow the sheep and avoid the wolves.

[changos]

Big decisions for Big guys.

I had to leave two relationship. After 5 years and we sit to talk with the first one, I don't regret it. Her stories and (in fact herself ) told me about how horrible it was going to be because she had her mind on something else, not on a family. Now she regret it. I know it clearly but the details she tells me now.

As for the second one it was harder... a house, already buying furniture... many great moments. 3 months before taking the big step together she took another rant at another silly stuff. I decided it was the last one. She regret it, I don't. We had so many expectations, I choose her to be my wife so now you know.

I'm happy now, healthy and with good sleep. As time goes by I realize it was the right choice. People never change (or change very little).

[Olympics2010]

I still ponder on the description that I read about the INTJ personality, particularly when it is said that INTJ's arrive easily at decisions. Now, I can confirm this, since in my own life I can recall waking up in the morning and moving on to some brand new trajectory in my life, a decision made with apparent ease, once I saw no reason not to make it. I didn't really even have to think about making the decision, but somehow the decision just came naturally to me, like out of the blue I just felt ready to leave the old behind, and move on to something new.

However, I don't agree that INTJ's arrive at their decisions easily at all. For the most part, I think that, as they say, INTJs see so many patterns everywhere, that they would rather hold off on making any decisions at all until they HAVE to. Alternatively, INTJs really enjoy delighting in being a part of everything, so, once again, holding off from making any decisions about any one particular choice. As an INTJ, I feel that making a decision about something is something inherenly limiting to remaning free to just exploring the possiblities, without having to choose any single one. INTJs are more about exploring the possibilities, thereby remaning in an impartial position where they can do so, rather than making choices. In other words, I argue that, unless INTJs have to make decisions, they hold off on making any decisions at all. They would probably prefer to just "do nothing" but just think about things, until they absolutely have to. This is probably the major "decision" in the INTJ life - they decide to remain indecisive and only consider the possiblities, instead of choosing any single possiblity, unless, of course, they have to. Once an INTJ makes a decision, which probably means that they had no choice, or very little choice, about the matter, they have no problem doing so, because they don't have a choice, which probably explains why it seems like INTJs arrive easily at decisions. But still the truth is that INTJs aren't decision makers, and prefer to not make any decisions at all for the most part. Indeed, sometimes in life we have to choose something, and so, since we have to choose something, we make our choices in light of that. For the most part, an INTJ would argue that the best path to be on is the path that offers you the greatest amount of freedom to freely explore the possiblities, which means staying impartial to either the road less travelled by, or the road travelled by, equally. INTJs would rather go their own impartial way, rather than choice either one road. However, if in life we feel that we have no choice but to choose one of these roads, then we do so, and find a way to still remain free within that decision.

[NHere]

...is now standing at a crossroads, listening to the wind, wondering if this might be the big one.

*whistles Que Sera, Sera*

[Grace]

Originally Posted by Monte314 To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

There are some good posts on this thread, mentioning watershed events in peoples' lives. I have observed, though, that the fundamental "crossroads" usually go unrecognized until much later. Deciding to marry a particular person is certainly a crossroad, but it didn't happen "out of the blue". "Small" decisions made much earlier bring one to this point. I have given a talk for college "kids" from time-to-time called "The Ten Questions That Determine Your Worldview", in which I show how the answers you give, USUALLY WITHOUT MUCH THOUGHT, to 10 "yes/no" questions in large measure determine the course of your life. So, keep your eyes open: you might not recognize that crossroad when you come to it!

Okay, Monte, let's have the big ten questions!

[SongofSeptember]

I'm still relatively young, so I don't think I've really encountered any significant crossroads yet. But every choice comes with consequences--there are no good choices and bad choices, only other choices. If one regrets the choice one makes at a crossroads, then they have no choice but to learn to live with it.