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INTJ Anger emotions
Old 09-16-2008, 02:00 PM   #1
Metanoia
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I never felt anger and I do not know how I would be when under that state. Please take note that anger and being irritated are two different things.

Have you ever been angered before? Why? What was it like?
How will INTJs show anger? How do you do it?
How long did it lasted? Did you regret it?
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Old 09-16-2008, 02:20 PM   #2
Beckatron
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I'm exactly the same.

There was a point in my life (back in April) where i probebly should have been very angry: A couple of weeks after i came out of a four year relationship, i find out my ex is dating my best friend. Instead of getting angry and crying about it, i just came to the conclusion that neither of them are worth my time and cut them out of my life without looking back.

I don't get angry. I just find blunt solutions to avoid feeling strong negative emotions.
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Old 09-16-2008, 02:32 PM   #3
White Raven
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The first time I learned about lobotomies. It still makes me angry.
I get frustrated, irritated, and violent urges a lot, but I am rarely truly angry.
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Old 09-16-2008, 02:43 PM   #4
estwald
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I used to get angry back when i was a little boy... but now... never
I do get irritated sometimes , but never angry.I usually don`t care enough to get angry over something.
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Old 09-16-2008, 03:09 PM   #5
rewhu
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I added numbers to your orginal post to facilitate my answers.

  Originally Posted by Metanoia
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1) Have you ever been angered before?
2) Why?
3) What was it like?
4) How will INTJs show anger?
5) How do you do it?
6) How long did it lasted?
7) Did you regret it?

1) Yes.
2) Because of something moronic enacted by some moron.
3) My anger welled up inside of me very quickly, reaching the top of my head and emanating from my pores. I didnít react right away. Instead I suppressed my emotions so I could formulate a clear response. I wanted the person to know exactly what I was thinking.
4) Despite some other forumasts I think everyone and every situation is different. I will speculate that many INTJs would show their anger only in a controlled fashion.
5) I displayed mine thusly.
6) For approximately two days. Occasionally I will get upset about the events surrounding the anger-inducing moment, mainly because Iím frustrated at being misunderstood. I feel as though no matter how clearly I speak my mind itís never clear enough for some people.
7) I do not regret being angered and displaying said anger because the situation was extraordinary. If it had been just any other day, dealing with any olí dummy, then yes, I would regret it. But in this case, no. My anger was completely justified.

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Old 09-16-2008, 03:41 PM   #6
Monte314
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Hey, I'm always a little bit angry. You generally can't tell though, because I *~ am ~*~ so~ *~ very~ *~ cheerful~ *.

I usually write letters to express my anger. I write great complaints... I always feel better afterwards.
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Old 09-16-2008, 04:03 PM   #7
enWTFp
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I was thinking about posting the same thread yesterday!

  Originally Posted by Metanoia
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I never felt anger and I do not know how I would be when under that state. Please take note that anger and being irritated are two different things.

Have you ever been angered before? Why? What was it like?
How will INTJs show anger? How do you do it?
How long did it lasted? Did you regret it?

May I add some more questions:

Have you ever broken anything due to sudden outburst of anger?
(Like, you talk by the phone, they tell you something that gets you mad and you break the phone?)
Have you ever punched or slammed your keyboard or other technical equipment?
Have you ever felt like you would be happy to get a heavy hammer and spend the day crushing rocks?

---
I have a friend INFJ, who in a heated argument is capable of breaking a glass in the table and to get white foam around his mouth, just like a mad dog. The attitude is scarier than the actions in this case. But to get this you must get him in really extreme anger, normally INFJs are very calm, shy and good-tempered people.

I rarely get out-of-control type of angry, though I get angry in various smaller degrees and often get sarcastic, because of that. As a physical reaction of that, I've never hit (first) anyone, although if they hit me, they catch hell. And I would never ever harm valuable objects out of anger, it's impossible, I find it completely irrational.

I sometimes felt like spending a day crushing rocks, and I almost got addicted to a punching bag in one office I worked. It's really relieving.

The angriest moment I remember in my life was somewhere before 7th grade, when I got so angry at something that I went and punched with my bare fists a stone wall continuously for a couple of minutes, until my hands got covered of blood all the way up. But I wouldn't do this to scary somebody.

Edit:
It is known that my father once slapped another guy in such a way, that the other guy went deaf with this ear for life. It's a completely real story, from the army. Knowing this has affected me forever, and I'm always extremely careful not to hurt anyone, when not utterly necessary.

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Old 09-16-2008, 04:19 PM   #8
Autoptic
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There's always at least a little anger buzzing in the back of my head. I used to hit the doorjamb until it came down to one or both of us breaking. I don't do anything of the sort anymore, except a couple of incidents on a trash can for family reasons two years ago, as it does nothing good. There are still no solutions to most of the problems that caused most of it. Even without the exact problems, their legacies have become my life thus far which would explain the first sentence.

After being dragged into the Napoleon-complexed, authoritarian, hypocritical, and ultimately, though two years late for me, quietly dismissed principal's office so he could sit me down in a chair and stand over me berating me, I once found myself standing and yelling back. It actually scared me not even being conscious of it, but it was amusing watching the little bastard try to climb backward into the recessed window in terror.

Considering that Mother deserved much worse, a certain incident with a fork which only resulted in her getting pushed away was quite an improvement.

Now I mostly just clinch and wait, a little numbing but no explosions yet.
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Old 09-16-2008, 05:02 PM   #9
changos
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Have you ever been angered before?
Yes, a few times

Why?
It would take a long post to explain to make sense, otherwise anybody would appear insane and we'll see post like "did that make you angry??"

What was it like?
Terrible. A destructive energy trying to manifest.

How will INTJs show anger?
I have yelled, said hurtful words (filled with sense backed up with all the knowledge I have from that person). Also asked "why" (that seems to make a huge impact on the person). On this occasions I talk about I was innocent, but received collateral damage, betrayed or was "scarified" being to their eyes, the one who could take the hit (strong enough? bull...) It will make no sense to me talking about the things I deserve.

How do you do it?
I usually disappear from that people life. I have never done any damage, vengeance or such.

How long did it lasted?
I guess until the neuron keeping that info dies.

Did you regret it?
No except from one time where I think I over reacted, but after 3 years the person came to me asking for forgiveness confirming I was right. Other time I was told I was too kind on a particular problem where others just destroy things. It doesn't matter, being angry is no pleasure.

Have you ever broken anything due to sudden outburst of anger?
On a relationship where I was stalked, I had a heated discussion on the streets. I took out my cell phone, broke it in two parts and gave it to her: now call me!

On another time (on a confrontation) I started thinking and looking for the places you are told to hit to disable your opponent. It was becoming more than a fight... so I decided to leave to avoid complications. I believe it was the best thing to do.

Have you ever punched or slammed your keyboard or other technical equipment?
Only two walls, two diff times.

Have you ever felt like you would be happy to get a heavy hammer and spend the day crushing rocks?
No, it makes no sense to me.

I come to think that anger, happiness and such behave like any other energy which cannot be destroyed, but transformed. If you keep it (swallow that) you hurt yourself. In some ways, is just the "bounce", the natural energy response to a damage you receive.

For the hardest occasions, the feeling has gone, but my mind still don't understand why was I pointed at with a cannon if the person still accepts I didn't deserve it.

I would only say, if the anger is too much, walk away, you can regret the damage you can cause, and from what people did to you, you end up apologizing for what you do next, thats not good.
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Old 09-16-2008, 07:06 PM   #10
Noname128
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Wow... a lot of you really don't experience anger? I must be the odd-man out on this one...i'm angry as f*uck the vast majority of my life. Luckily, it's mostly the implosive type (can you say self-destruction?) but the few times it erupts through the surface, watch out!
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Old 09-16-2008, 07:50 PM   #11
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Have you ever been angered before?
Only twice.

Why?
A friend who had recently had a spat with accidentally invaded my personal space after I told him to leave me alone and -again, accidentally- physically hurt me. The other time, an acquaintance intentionally insulted my integrity, competence, intelligence, and ethnicity. He was intentionally provoking me and I found out he had some sort of irrational hatred for me, go figure.

What was it like?
Not pleasant. I hate being angry. It's quite possibly the worst feeling I've experienced. Both times it felt like I had a fire inside of me. I got tunnel vision both times.

How will INTJs show anger?
I really can't speak for anyone else.

How do you do it?
In the first case I was pretty young and responded instinctively; I physically attacked my friend. I didn't do much damage though, since I was about half his size and didn't know what I was doing. The second time I really felt like hurting the person (and probably could have), but instead I swallowed everything, then ended up punching a wall out of sight. Later that day I went ballistic on my pillow.

How long did it last?
The first time lasted a couple of seconds. The second time lasted some hours.

Did you regret it?
Both times. The first I found out it was accidental and felt horrible later, even though my friend told me not to worry about it. The second time still gets to me. I'd still get angry given the situation (my best friend had broken my trust a couple of minutes before, so my defenses were down). I'm just glad I held back.

Have you ever broken anything due to sudden outburst of anger?
Never. I targeted hard to break objects.

Have you ever punched or slammed your keyboard or other technical equipment?
No, there were not electronics besides my watch around in either case.

Have you ever felt like you would be happy to get a heavy hammer and spend the day crushing rocks?
Yes. Maybe not the entire day though.


Usually I just get irritated to different degrees. Nothing much happens then. I just resort to sarcasm, maybe lightly kick something like a wall, seal myself into my man-cave, write a letter to myself, or shrug it off. I'm usually very calm and at ease.
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Old 09-16-2008, 08:55 PM   #12
Caucus
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Have you ever been angered before?
yes, but only regarding two different incidents. I'm usually calm and unemotional.

Why?
It would take an extremely long post to explain all the events that occured. The incidents fully justified my anger.

What was it like?
Horrible. I don't like witnessing or showing displays of strong emotion.

How will INTJs show anger?
Each INTJ is an individual so each will have different reactions to anger. For myself, I became nasty, blunt and more sarcastic. I also went through phases of explosive anger and numbness.

How long did it lasted?
Until the major issues were resolved.

Did you regret it?
No. If the anger wasn't warranted, then I would regret it. What happened was utterly wrong and I had every right to be angry. Not being angry or acting on that anger would have allowed the event to keep happening.

Have you ever broken anything due to sudden outburst of anger?
No. I tended to kick and slam objects that couldn't be broken.

Have you ever punched or slammed your keyboard or other technical equipment?
No.

Have you ever felt like you would be happy to get a heavy hammer and spend the day crushing rocks?
Maybe for five minutes or so but not a whole day. I wouldn't want to waste my time on something so unprofitable.
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Old 09-16-2008, 09:48 PM   #13
zibun
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When angered, an INTJ would:

1. Grow quiet
2. Leave the premises
3. Yell

The third reaction is more amusing than hurtful to me.
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Old 09-16-2008, 10:06 PM   #14
LionsPride
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Yep, that's pretty close for me. Exact would be:

1. Grow quiet
2. Be brutally honest when pushed
3. Leave the premises to avoid...
4. Yelling, which is more like being brutally honest about all the things they really don't want to hear and then some. I raise my voice if they don't sit there and take it after failing to let me escape earlier.
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Old 09-16-2008, 11:38 PM   #15
DeafEars
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before i get very angry, that i result to violence but then i realize that the best way to deal with people who makes you angry is to excommunicate them
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Old 09-17-2008, 12:46 AM   #16
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I have been before, but it's been so long, I don't remember exactly what it is like. Either way, I don't like it. I don't want to lose control. Many think that an angry me would be a force to be reckoned with though.. I imagine people would be hurt.
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Old 09-17-2008, 01:04 AM   #17
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Non-existent, for me at least. Irritation happens quite a bit though.
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Old 09-17-2008, 04:07 AM   #18
Cake
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I find the reason I grow quiet is because I'm angry.

Does anyone else find it impossible to think clearly when angry? i can try and try, but i just can't think of something as well as I could when I'm alone.
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Old 09-17-2008, 04:35 AM   #19
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I'm usually pretty well-tempered. Other than morons constantly irritating me, I rarely get angry.

The one thing that makes my blood boil is lack of respect. Usually its either lack of respect towards me or someone I respect and/or care about. If I start to feel that someone is "stepping on my toes" so to speak, I usually freeze and tense up, clench my jaw and give them the look-of-death, often with the feeling that I have a nuclear reaction going on inside of me that just seems to be waiting for provocation, an excuse to just explode and go nuts. My eyes get a very characteristic look just before this happens, like I'm some kind of mad man.

To date, I've never blown up on anyone. I've had many situations that have provoked that kind of response from me, but I've never lost, never freaked out, never hit anyone. Those situations only seem to come up when someone tries to intimidate or push me around.
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Old 09-17-2008, 05:02 AM   #20
Olympics2010
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This is an important question, especially, I think, when it comes to being an INTJ. Firstly, I don't think that it is accurate to say that INTJs aren't susceptible to anger. That is because I believe that all people (all normal people, which includes most people), necessarily feel anger, anger being a basic, or necessary, emotion for us human beings. Since most INTJs are normal humans, just like most humans are normal humans, they, too, experience anger.

Now, it is an interesting question what this experience of anger actually is for the INTJ. I'm not sure whether it arises in us primarily in the form of a feeling, since INTJs aren't feeling "types". Yet we've already argued (above) that anger must be experienced by INTJs, just like other normal human beings must experience anger. For INTJs, it is said that our other personality qualities, such as our extraverted thinking, are at the hands of our never-ending intuitive side. Anything that extraverted thinking "settles" for in us, is only a temporary useless link between ourselves, and the world, that we think we cannot avoid but to build it, perhaps solely due to practical reasons required at the moment, but one which will quickly, and eagerly, be deconstructed once again for analysis by our intution at the first opportunity. Similarly, with INTJ feelings. INTJs mostly have a high powered inuition. Plus, our feeling side is naturally diminished. It is in this way that I believe that we can say that INTJs process anger. While we don't actually have the ability, nor the patience, to take the time to really feel it, for us anger is more of an intuitive understanding. Intuition is the sort of thing that tells us lots of stuff about everything, and, as such, it also is the way in which we come to understand emotion. We have an intuitive understanding of emotion, including anger. Like our extraverted thinking, our emotion is at the hands of our intuition, intuition being the thing that directs everything. Since intuition is a powerful tool, our intuitive anger can quickly rise up into a violent rage, since for us our intuition is as great as the most powerful feeling. We may not even feel it, but we go crazy understanding it, because we know it's "there", or that "this is the time when it should be there". It's like we calculate out the times at which certain emotions are appropriate to arise in us if it would be possible for us to really have them by using our intuition, without having to actually feel them. But, again, our intuitive understanding of emotion can be very powerful!

So, I think that INTJs are affected by anger, in an intuitive way. In other words, I think that INTJs can find a state of mind in which they can totally function without being troubled by actual feelings per se. However, since we are introverts, we don't often EXPRESS our intuitive understanding of anger. Like most everything else, introverted intuition makes anger just another tangent that is useful for analysis within the bigger picture. This intuitive process is probably also a good intellectual process that is healthy for us, and anyone experiencing anger, to use in order to better deal with anger. Luckily for us, this processing of emotions through our intellect is a natural, dominant ability. INTJs are like way and beyond what it means to take the time to think about what we feel, so that we don't just react. By understanding this, we might be able to use our main tool, our intuition, to make our anger useful whenever it appears. And again, we do this naturally. For instance, when I get angry, such as when I feel trapped in certain external situations between people, or things, I seldom express that anger, because I realize that it's not very useful to express it, or that it won't get me anywhere. Being an INTJ, it's just my luck that I'm hardwired to be the biggest saint on earth, so I try and do the bigger thing and just allow others to have the final word, and then I try to develop a strategy of something to do to get myself out of the situation by doing something that works for me, and not doing something just in spite of the anger that may bother me at the time, because then I just react to the anger, and not paying attention to what's more valuable underneath my anger. I try not to let my anger win, and I try to acknowledge it, and then try to use it to design better strategies for something that's not even related to the situation at hand. I try to use anger to further establish my best position in the most efficient way possible, which often means that I don't react to/express my intuitive understanding of anger, and that I move closer to the understanding inside myself which the anger is for, and away from the external source that caused me to be angry about the thing inside me.

Anger is not only present for the INTJ in this way, but it is also very important, for the same reason that this interesting emotion is crucial for all of most normal human beings that either feel it, or have an understanding of it, like INTJs do. As far as I can see, anger is this unbeatable, red-hot covering, like soldiers with arrows around a castle, that protect the castle from outside intruders. I think this outside protective shield is there forever, and cannot be overcome by outside forces, nor perish when it just stays there dormant without outside provocation. That is because it must be this way, since what it protects inside is our true selves, and, if our true selves die, or is harmed, then we also cease to exist on all imaginable levels. INTJs especially live in their interior worlds, and if this interior world passes away, we will probably fall fatally ill also. But for all people, I think it is true that their interior worlds are essential to their existence, and that anger is the emotion which undoubtedly protects this essential inner world. This is what makes anger so interesting. It is the sort of emotion which cannot be actually overcome. We may change what we become angry for inside ourselves, but we can never feel angry, or have the potential to feel angry, about nothing at all, unless we're dead. If we try to fight it when it is active, it only escalates. It is the basic emotion that protects what's most true inside of us, and it is even beyond our control. The only thing we can do to help it when we experience anger is to either express it, or suppress it, or wait until it goes away, but, overall, we are pretty much helpless to it, to do its job to protect us when we can't. And this is a good thing. Yet we don't have to let anger rule, because, this soon becomes a pointless road. We express anger once, and then we move on to other more interesting things. We know it will always be there, we trust it will protect us if we really need it, so it makes us feel safer as a last resort, but, for the most part in our lives, we appreciate anger, and we've been there, done that. I realize that I may not need to focus on the anger whenever it occurs in order to maintain my interior, true self as best as possible. Anger is something that just naturally happens to guard myself, and, while it happens, I can try and do something else.

The only thing I know for sure is that anger taught me that, by default, my true self can never be stolen, nor diminished, by an outside source, so I don't need to add anxiety in anticipation for anger as a resort for a tool just in case to fight with when my interior self is threatened. Before I thought about it more, and before I actually tried expressing anger to see what it does, I would almost be ready for an angry fight, which probably means anxiety in anticipation for an angry response as a protective response to an outside threat to my interior world. It's out of my hands that my interior self will always be there as long as it decides to, and that anger will always be there ready to warn me about when I need to fight for it. And sometimes it's ok for me to constructively take steps as a way to fight a provocation. It's ok to move away from the provocation, using what anger is telling me and some other stuff I know, like how to act in a social situation. At one point, I thought that a solution to anger would be to not get angry about whatever it was that I felt was worthy to feel anger for. If I had nothing to value, it makes sense that I would not feel anger. However, this is not the way to deal with anger. If this seems possible, we're just being in denial. It's impossible to give away all my values. And, so long as there are values, there will be equally reliable protective shields of anger surrounding them, beaming off to outside sources their protective warning signs.
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Old 09-17-2008, 05:03 AM   #21
Antares
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Have you ever been angered before?
Yes, but rarely do I feel real anger. I have a very good temper, but one could call me an atomic bomb on a mile long fuse.

Why?
For various reasons.

What was it like?
It wasn't overwhelming rage; no, nothing like that. It was subtle anger, and most of the time my face would probably be wiped clean of any expressions and I would do things in a sharp manner. I've taken to glaring before. I usually don't react in the height of my anger, but that never last more than a few seconds. After that, it'd be something like cold fury, or even indifference (the only feeling remaining is the desire to 'get even'. I may not even be angry. It became something like an obligation, not an emotional response).

How will INTJs show anger?
I may become very callous and sarcastic (and most of them are designed to injure the person responsible for my anger emotionally), even vindictive just to 'put them in their place'. I hardly ever lose my composure (I don't remember the last time I yelled at someone), and even put on a disinterested or impassive expression just to show that whatever they're doing isn't emotionally affecting me (Of course, we all know that's not very possible).

How do you do it?
I am willing to cut off friendships or romantic relationships if I feel it's justified, and no, I won't look back. The next day of the 'end of the relationship (that includes any sort of relationship)', I'd treat them as though I don't know them, which basically means cold politeness. I'll ignore or throw in their faces any attempt at reconciliation. And probably, if I feel up to it, an ultimate indication that they matter to me as much as the dirt beneath my feet. I never felt like injuring the person physically though. I know ways to injure someone far worse than whatever physical pain I can inflict, and I will do it if I set my mind to it. My method of retaliation is usually emotional injury, as mentioned above.

How long did it last?
The longest was one day, I think. I would still feel resentful for a few days, but it would be very subtle. Things don't get blown out of proportion with me. Everything is subtle or moderate. Usually it would range from 10 minutes to an hour.

Did you regret it?
No. I don't remember ever overreacting. I'm a very controlled person, and I only do what is popularly justified.

Have you ever broken anything due to sudden outburst of anger?
No. That would be irrational.

Have you ever punched or slammed your keyboard or other technical equipment?

No. I was never the 'physical' type. My anger is kept to my head and my mouth. Possibly my eyes too.

Have you ever felt like you would be happy to get a heavy hammer and spend a day crushing rocks?
No. Physical venting never help. Sure, I might WANT to destroy something, but I'm just that controlled.
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Old 09-17-2008, 09:36 AM   #22
rewhu
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Have you ever felt like you would be happy to get a heavy hammer and spend a day crushing rocks?
Yup.

I worked at a picture framing company several years ago. One of my job duties was to cut glass. The scrap pieces were supposed to be placed in a metal waste bin. Normally I would put them in carefully but every once in awhile I used to enjoying smashing the scrap glass as a way to vent frustration.
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Old 09-17-2008, 06:39 PM   #23
AliTree
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i think i've only really been angry once in my life & it was at my boyfriend about something i really cared about.
it was not a pleasant feeling. i literally felt, like temp wise, hot and just incredibly horrible.
i get annoyed and frustrated quite often, though.
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Old 09-17-2008, 07:30 PM   #24
trousers
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Yea I get angry, I get angry regularly. Sometimes I just wake up angry and my family can usually tell and stay away from me till I cool off. Sometimes I can be unbelievably cool when 99% of other people would get angry. I can't believe some of you people don't get angry.

I think one of the most common causes of my anger is when I'm out and when anyone even looks at my friends in a threatening way, I can control my anger but if someone touches one of my friends their going to hospital no questions.

I get angry at religious people, I get angry with people who try to limit freedoms, I just generally hate humans in general deep down I think
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I'm gonna stop here before I get carried away I've already made enough a fool of myself I think
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Old 09-18-2008, 01:34 AM   #25
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MBTI: INTJ
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 4,145
 
I get angry all the time. But I never show it. Ppl think Im angry b/c im blunt and "cold". But I know when im really angry I tend to just cut that thing out of my life so I dont haev to deal with it. I look beyond the emotion of anger and see what caused it to "fix" it. Typically if something happens that most ppl will be angry about im not. Say if a professor gives a huge lab, i wont b angry b/c y? what can i do about it. Nothing so why waste time with that. Just do the damn lab and get over it.
Necrosis is offline
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