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Old 08-03-2012, 10:21 AM   #1
Artio
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"Who can tear
Your flesh and hair
And grind your bones to dust?

Who has claws
Which have no flaws
In mittens they're bethrust?

---

The lovely Artio"

(Beartio by GD)
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I'm feeling fine and extroverted (for as long as I can stay at home and avoid crowds... ehrm, meeting any people in real life), so why don't you make a gift request. I provide you... something. No complaints, no refunds.

Now, tell me what you've always wanted.
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Old 08-03-2012, 10:24 AM   #2
JC22
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Angelina Jolie
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Old 08-03-2012, 10:25 AM   #3
vampyroteuthis
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I'd like for there to be a draft in here.
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Old 08-03-2012, 10:26 AM   #4
IotaNull
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Paarthurnax.
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Old 08-03-2012, 10:27 AM   #5
deconspire
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Pfff, fuck you then.
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A black panther as a pet. Also, it can't eat me, either.
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Old 08-03-2012, 10:34 AM   #6
Artio
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"Who can tear
Your flesh and hair
And grind your bones to dust?

Who has claws
Which have no flaws
In mittens they're bethrust?

---

The lovely Artio"

(Beartio by GD)
MBTI: INTJ
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 20,640
 
I turned my back to deny my mother's invitations to her friend's wedding... and you've all been busy here. Damn... mom.


  Originally Posted by JC22
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Angelina Jolie

Oh dear, if only you hadn't hidden your cherry.


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  Originally Posted by vampyroteuthis
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I'd like for there to be a draft in here.

I hand you this Handel's original draft to you, vamp.


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  Originally Posted by Iota Null
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Paarthurnax.

Dear I0, what a great request - every girl and woman drool after and over your physique now.


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---------- Post added 08-03-2012 at 08:35 PM ----------

  Originally Posted by deconspire
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A black panther as a pet. Also, it can't eat me, either.

You can eat her. Pet her well and thoroughly.


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Old 08-03-2012, 10:44 AM   #7
vampyroteuthis
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  Originally Posted by Artio
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I hand you this Handel's original draft to you, vamp.


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This blows! Thank you!

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Old 08-03-2012, 10:46 AM   #8
JC22
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  Originally Posted by Artio
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Oh dear, if only you hadn't hidden your cherry.


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I hope mine will blow too! Thank you!

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Old 08-03-2012, 10:47 AM   #9
Artio
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"Who can tear
Your flesh and hair
And grind your bones to dust?

Who has claws
Which have no flaws
In mittens they're bethrust?

---

The lovely Artio"

(Beartio by GD)
MBTI: INTJ
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 20,640
 

  Originally Posted by vampyroteuthis
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This blows! Thank you!

Now you just deserved another one. It doesn't blow, but I'll drink to that.


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Old 08-03-2012, 10:49 AM   #10
vampyroteuthis
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  Originally Posted by Artio
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Now you just deserved another one. It doesn't blow, but I'll drink to that.


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*grits teeth* Not. going to make. obvious. dirty. joke.

*hears BLAAAAT!*

*jumps*

Alright, alright, I'm going for a walk.

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Old 08-03-2012, 10:53 AM   #11
Elena
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A magic spell to turn a straight girl gay. Please?
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Old 08-03-2012, 10:59 AM   #12
Artio
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"Who can tear
Your flesh and hair
And grind your bones to dust?

Who has claws
Which have no flaws
In mittens they're bethrust?

---

The lovely Artio"

(Beartio by GD)
MBTI: INTJ
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 20,640
 

  Originally Posted by vampyroteuthis
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*grits teeth* Not. going to make. obvious. dirty. joke.

*hears BLAAAAT!*

*jumps*

Alright, alright, I'm going for a walk.

*swallows*


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Ok, a good walk is always a great idea.

---------- Post added 08-03-2012 at 09:00 PM ----------

  Originally Posted by Elena
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A magic spell to turn a straight girl gay. Please?

I'll search for the best possible solution, but you may use this while I try to figure it out.


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Old 08-03-2012, 11:14 AM   #13
deconspire
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Pfff, fuck you then.
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  Originally Posted by Artio
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Oh dear, if only you hadn't hidden your cherry.

 
You can eat her. Pet her well and thoroughly.

  Originally Posted by vampyroteuthis
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This blows! Thank you!

  Originally Posted by JC22
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I hope mine will blow too! Thank you!

  Originally Posted by Artio
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Now you just deserved another one.

  Originally Posted by Artio
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*swallows*

I'm in need of a very cold shower.

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Old 08-03-2012, 11:16 AM   #14
Nonsuch
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Plz show something which will convince me to visit Finland for next vacation.


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Old 08-03-2012, 11:18 AM   #15
Artio
Core Member [516%]
"Who can tear
Your flesh and hair
And grind your bones to dust?

Who has claws
Which have no flaws
In mittens they're bethrust?

---

The lovely Artio"

(Beartio by GD)
MBTI: INTJ
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 20,640
 

  Originally Posted by deconspire
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I'm in need of a very cold shower.

Bend over, please.


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---------- Post added 08-03-2012 at 09:25 PM ----------

  Originally Posted by Nonsuch
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Plz show something which will convince me to visit Finland for next vacation.


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Sauna?


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Public libraries?


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Nature?


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Old 08-03-2012, 12:16 PM   #16
Elena
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  Originally Posted by Artio
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I'll search for the best possible solution, but you may use this while I try to figure it out.


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I am more of an ass woman than boobs, but still. . .
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Old 08-03-2012, 12:17 PM   #17
Artio
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"Who can tear
Your flesh and hair
And grind your bones to dust?

Who has claws
Which have no flaws
In mittens they're bethrust?

---

The lovely Artio"

(Beartio by GD)
MBTI: INTJ
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 20,640
 

  Originally Posted by Elena
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I am more of an ass woman than boobs, but still. . .
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Oh, my bad. Apologies.


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---------- Post added 08-03-2012 at 10:20 PM ----------

  Originally Posted by JC22
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I'll take'm...


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Good for you! except keep your hands off what's Elena's or you'll be clawed... it's not a threat, just a note.
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Old 08-03-2012, 12:32 PM   #18
Elena
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  Originally Posted by Artio
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Oh, my bad. Apologies.


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  Originally Posted by Artio
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Good for you! except keep your hands off what's Elena's or you'll be clawed... it's not a threat, just a note.

You tell 'em
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Old 08-03-2012, 12:35 PM   #19
vampyroteuthis
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  Originally Posted by Artio
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*swallows*


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Ok, a good walk is always a great idea.

  Originally Posted by deconspire
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I'm in need of a very cold shower.

  Originally Posted by Elena
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A magic spell to turn a straight girl gay. Please?

 
[various body parts]


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I go out for soft serve and come back to this. You all better not have taken anything out of my fridge... or closet.

*sighs*

*puts on cleaning gloves*

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Old 08-03-2012, 12:59 PM   #20
gracious
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<sits on SantaArtio's knee>

I would like one of these
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please. I would even pay for it!

Or in a pinch I guess I would settle for some of that lovely black bread.
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Old 08-03-2012, 05:15 PM   #21
deconspire
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Pfff, fuck you then.
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I
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when Beartio drinks cava.
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Old 08-03-2012, 05:17 PM   #22
JC22
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  Originally Posted by gracious
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<sits on SantaArtio's knee>


  Originally Posted by gracious
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a pinch

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Old 08-03-2012, 09:46 PM   #23
Artio
Core Member [516%]
"Who can tear
Your flesh and hair
And grind your bones to dust?

Who has claws
Which have no flaws
In mittens they're bethrust?

---

The lovely Artio"

(Beartio by GD)
MBTI: INTJ
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 20,640
 

  Originally Posted by gracious
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<sits on SantaArtio's knee>

I would like one of these
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please. I would even pay for it!

Or in a pinch I guess I would settle for some of that lovely black bread.
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Well, unfortunately I doubt a lot those devices really help. Instead I provide you as many trips to Charles de Gaulle airport that you ever want to use. They have this:


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Now, the other request shall not be corrupted. There you go.


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Now get the hell out of my lap. Jeez.


  Originally Posted by deconspire
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I
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when Beartio drinks cava.


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I'm hardly ever meh about the whole forum, when I'm drinking. Isn't that right? I'm like the Duracell bunny in disguise.


You added no content. You get an adventure holiday - you'll mine your own goal.


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Old 08-03-2012, 10:59 PM   #24
FarmlandTension
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Capuchin monkey, please.

Or a teleportation device/the ability to fast travel in real life so I can go home and see my little J'Zargo and his brothers and sisters for a bit and then come back here before I go on my trip on Monday.
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Old 08-03-2012, 11:32 PM   #25
Artio
Core Member [516%]
"Who can tear
Your flesh and hair
And grind your bones to dust?

Who has claws
Which have no flaws
In mittens they're bethrust?

---

The lovely Artio"

(Beartio by GD)
MBTI: INTJ
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 20,640
 
FT - hop in, they'll take you there and back in time. They are magic.


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