[INTJlove]

I can see many many people getting nervous and frustrated by some silly things and I just don't get it, why can't they stay calm?
can you INTJs control that or do easily get nervous?

[Atamagahen]

More often than not I'm a very calm person, albeit awkward. It depends on my situation when it comes to becoming frustrated. I tend to get upset when something disturbs my plans suddenly. It happens quite often, so I should get used to it. Ironically it just makes my outlook on things even worse. I tend to be future-oriented and usually don't like surprises much.

[The Dan Keizer]

I dont think I have trouble in social situations or with nervousness. I think I used to not have control with anger but Im over that. I do lose control with sex, cigarettes and sleeping though.

[Metabeard]

I'm rather calm a majority of the time, but some things do get to me. Like my boss dropping a bunch of work on me right before I was about to leave, but I think that would make anyone upset. I used to get worked up over people saying stupid things on facebook or forums, but I've learned to care less about the opinions of strangers and to better recognize trolls.

One thing I have noticed is that I second guess myself a lot. Does anyone else do that? Lots of times, even with things where it wouldn't even matter one way or the other, I have trouble deciding, and it gets me anxious. I also play out varieties of scenarios in my head all the time, something I've read is typical of INTJs, and get anxious about possible negative outcomes even though they haven't happened, and might not even happen. Things I'm working on controlling...

[Badger]

I actually have to throttle back on the confidence in social situations sometimes. I could easily not give a crap about what others think, but I know I can come across real cocky or arrogant depending if I am feeling E or I. When I'm 'E' I probably come across as "everything’s going to be alright, I'm here".

I focus on caring about unknown people in social situations by telling myself A: who knows, there might be someone useful in this group, or B: my wife cares so I care. (For those of you who think “someone useful”, aka ‘minion’, is a put down, look up Idiot’s Guide to INTJ’s. Being useful may keep you out of any non-INTJ culling in the future….although if an INTJ is running things they will know that the first thing they need to do is get rid of the other INTJ’s since they are probably already plotting to get rid of him or her. So being a useful non-INTJ might even be better than being an INTJ. So you see, being “someone useful” is absolutely a complement in the INTJ world, minion.)

Also a trick I learned is that if I'm starting to have problems communicating because I'm getting excited, I stop talking, take two deep breaths, and then go on. You will find that the two deep breaths will reset your adrenaline response and give your brain an extra second for buffering. It keeps me cool in the worse situations.

Otherwise, you won’t know if an INTJ is losing it because 1) often they don’t feel enough of a connection to the ‘now’ to get emotionally vested, 2) we could be panicking but the response is to further withdraw which to other types looks like we are playing it cool.

I don’t know about anyone else, but I know in some more intense situations where I have to be focused on the ‘now’ the inner dialog shuts off. So much of my psyche can be pulled into the ‘now’ that I lose other functions. I have no inner dialog and no feelings. I am not in any way thinking but just seem to be absorbing what is going on around me. In those situations I seem to have heightened intuition that boarders on foreseeing into the future that is common amongst xNTx’s from what I’ve read. There is no thinking, just knowledge of what is going to happen next as if I’ve seen it all before. So maybe that is why we are so calm in situations…we’re bored!! Your reality is our re-runs.

[24601]

Even when I do something that seems crazy, I've usually made the decision to do so.

[extollere]

I'm calm in general, keep my cool in stressful situations, when nervous I look calm on the outside. I'm often called an "island of tranquility", people like to be around me when they are stressed, they always say my presence is calming, I'm glad it helps them.

[The Dan Keizer]

	Originally Posted by extollere To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I'm calm in general, keep my cool in stressful situations, when nervous I look calm on the outside. I'm often called an "island of tranquility", people like to be around me when they are stressed, they always say my presence is calming, I'm glad it helps them.

Same. If more than one person is acting nervous in a situation, something triggers me into calming and assuming a leadership role even if I was getting a little anxious myself.

[ButterflyPsyche]

I'm actually very much in control for my age, especially now since over the past year, I've introduced a lot of structure into my life. I rarely drink, I never do drugs, and I see a therapist regularly so I can constantly improve myself.

I do not act out on negative emotions for the most part - I always use them with contemplation as a compass to guide me as to how I'm approaching something. I am very good at trying to communicate, at accepting the truth when it's in front of me, and at accepting when I'm wrong. However, sometimes, my parents tend to push my buttons, but my boundaries are getting better as I get older.

Certain things are my weakness - for example, I HAVE to have frozen yogurt at the frozen yogurt place near my apartment when I want it (which seems very childish, but it's usually only once or twice a week and I don't keep desserts at home, so not a bad vice) and I HAVE to have a full night of sleep. However, budgeting for sleep means I plan for everything else in my day and prioritize, so I do think I control aspects of my life as a result of allowances for minor pleasures and necessities.

[Apricots]

I am a bastion of strength and pillar of security in a crisis. I once fought off a robber with a knife. Then I chased him when he ran away. True story. I wasn't scared until hours later when I reflected on it.

But usually there's no crisis, and I return to my natural anxiety-filled composition of jello. So no, I can't always control myself.

[Chameleon]

When it happens I never have to control it; because the 'it' never usually comes. I do for others more than myself. Example: I do not fear the man that is about to shoot me, I know I must stop him from
shooting someone else. I do not feel when someone yells at me in anger, I know I need to help this person. Etc. I will assess how I feel post situation if needed.

[AnotherMatt]

After working in fast food and retail you realize how some people get upset over the most minuscule things. I just laugh at them and generally I'm a pretty laid back and relaxed person in most settings compared to most people.

[Kearley65]

I am a very calm person and can control just about any emotion that pops in my head. And when it comes to pressure, oh I love the pressure, makes me that much more focused and determined to do something. I write all my term papers at the last moment because due to a person research study conduct by the one and only me I found that papers I wrote in advance had lower scores due to my lack of focus when I was writing it. When I wrote them more last minute, I found they scored better because it focused me to concentrate that much harder on what I am doing.

I also see people all the time in class that are freaking out they are going to fail a test and they said they studied five hours for it. In my head, all I can think is that IF I studied for five hours, I just blew the curve on the test for the entire class. Sorry class.

[Tactical Panda]

Is self control calm?

I tend to think of self control more as being able to hold to a goal committed to when in your better nature.

Calm can be a goal, but is not the full scope of goals.

[Lolwut]

I only really get nervous when I have to speak in front a crowd people like I did yesterday, but I get over this by taking deep breaths and telling myself there is nothing to worry about
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.

[Acolyte]

I thought I can, but through this year I'm going through a wild relationship which began like a story-tale and now sort of fizzles out. It has given me so much to think about and reflect on that I start to believe that I've got a long way to go when it comes to controlling oneself.

[Badger]

I have to modify what I said earlier. If someone is trying to impose their will or beliefs on me then I will lose it. I come across very laid back, so there are times, not very often, that I am seen as weak or a pushover. Then when someone tries to get Alpha male on me I lose my temper very quickly.

I think it has more to do with if I perceive someone to be of consequence in my life. If I am dealing with some asshole that is just passing through, then I will give them a lot of leeway and just don’t see the risk vs gain of correcting their behavior. If it is someone I have to deal with on a regular basis, then I have to exert an enormous amount of control when someone crosses a boundary on purpose, if I am even able to catch myself.

Also, I have gone from calm to angry real quick when someone questions my competence. So I guess it really comes down to the situation. I deal with angry people every day, so I know over 90% of the time I easily manage the stress, but there are situations where almost every time I will go off my cracker.

[Arnold86]

From what I have learn, the two first functions are
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and the last two are
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. As one grow older, most of the energy a person has is spent in the conscious, especially the first function. And, since most of the energy is spent in the conscious, little is left to the unconscious. Because of this, the conscious is mature and the unconscious, especially the last function, is immature, infantile, and primitive. But when a person is under stress and his/her conscious attitude is used too much and exaggerated, then the unconscious come to light. That's why people behave differently and look like if they were insane, but they are not. It's just that the unconscious is infantile, archaic, and immature. Also, the unconscious is antagonistic to the conscious; its will is opposite to conscious' will.

That's why when the Ni types get stressed and use their Ni at its extreme, they "
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" Because their infantile last function,
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, has come to light.

I don't know exacly how every extroverted types behave when they use their conscious at its extreme, but from what I understand, when extroverts get stressed they become introverted, because their last funtion is introverted. They may start to think to much, and may become temporary, depressed loners. And because extroverts are 75% of the people, that's where the stereotype that when a person is alone means that s/he is stressed, depressed, sad, or worried come from.
If you think there is any incorrection with the descriptions, please explain.

[Chaotic Enigma]

Originally Posted by Arnold86 To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

I don't know exacly how every extroverted types behave when they use their conscious at its extreme, but from what I understand, when extroverts get stressed they become introverted, because their last function is introverted. They may start to think to much, and may become temporary, depressed loners. And because extroverts are 75% of the people, that's where the stereotype that when a person is alone means that s/he is stressed, depressed, sad, or worried come from.

That has happened to me!! I was going to a place with friends so we split into two cars. At one point one of my friends stated "It's too quiet in this car! We're missing something. Chaotic Enigma, why aren't you talking as you normally do?". I was very stressed at the time and despite being there in the car with them I was mentally absent and occupied thinking about how to solve my problems.

Wow! Your post explained it! ^-^

[ModernLit]

lol control myself? in what sense? talking? acting out? flirting?

i'm a quiet, reserved person. i used to get really upset by things but i'm not as angry anymore. i get worried about things--that's harder to control because that's my overactive mind at work. also i hate standing up in front of people to present ideas and things. in general i'm a bit uncomfortable with strangers but not so overly, overly so.

[Othesemo]

Always. Who else would control me?

[deconspire]

There is a time to be silent and a time to speak. To be radical in either compass point is fault-worthy.

[jammi]

I can control my external emotions to extreme degrees. Internally, I'm however quite sensitive to disturbances, both self-generated as well as external. I work at nights (software development), because that's when the external disturbances are minimal. I might get obsessed with thoughts that has nothing to do with the task I'm trying to accomplish, so that's internal disturbance to focusing. I just tend to ride out those thoughts, and possibly implement something based on them, if neccessary, to be able to get bored of those and make the original task seem more interesting.

---------- Post added 07-19-2012 at 07:31 PM ----------

So, basically I have this random thought generator that comes constantly up with a lot of really good and interesting ideas, but are totally unrelated to the actual problem I'm trying to solve.

[Hewholistens]

Most people tell me I am so calm it's scary. Then there is those people that snicker or laugh at just about anything for no given reason. I don't understand what the fuss is all about. I can control myself very well and only laugh hysterically at a really witty comment.

[sagesoph]

I have a lot of control when it comes to sticking to goals and making myself work at things I really don't like for extended periods of time. I do have an emotional eating problem and social anxiety. I also tend to ruminate on negative occurance that have happened recently.