Your conception of sex

**sunitaishot** · 07-13-2012, 06:58 AM

Is sex for love, for pleasure, or both?

**dontmesswithme** · 07-13-2012, 07:10 AM

Both. I often wish I was the type who can just have casual sex with anyone, because then I could actually have sex again. But I'm not. I have to have strong feelings for someone to even consider having sex with them. I also think that love augments sex.

**Fishism** · 07-13-2012, 07:13 AM

Both. Or should I say either? Either is not an option, so I've confused myself.

To me, pleasure and love are not mutually exclusive. One can have one without the other.

hi5yourface · 07-13-2012, 07:16 AM

	Originally Posted by Fishism To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Both. Or should I say either? Either is not an option, so I've confused myself. To me, pleasure and love are not mutually exclusive. One can have one without the other.

Yes.....but if you have pleasure with love is it compound pleasure?

**Fishism** · 07-13-2012, 07:19 AM

	Originally Posted by hi5yourface To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Yes.....but if you have pleasure with love is it compound pleasure?

You bet....that's the best case scenario..the ideal....but in the meantime......
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hi5yourface · 07-13-2012, 07:21 AM

	Originally Posted by Fishism To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	You bet....that's the best case scenario..the ideal....but in the meantime...... To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Yeah, yeah I know......idealisms stunt pleasure response for me however and can never truly replace the pinnacle. I would say the sum is greater than the parts.

**Apricots** · 07-13-2012, 07:46 AM

Sex is an expression of love to me, so I can't be casual about it. I would be the loser that developed feelings after a one night stand. Which is why I could never do a one night stand.

But sex is also pleasureful, and should be vastly and frequently explored, with the right person.

**Oros Ull** · 07-13-2012, 08:01 AM

	Originally Posted by dontmesswithme To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Both. I often wish I was the type who can just have casual sex with anyone, because then I could actually have sex again. But I'm not. I have to have strong feelings for someone to even consider having sex with them. I also think that love augments sex.

	Originally Posted by Apricots To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Sex is an expression of love to me, so I can't be casual about it. I would be the loser that developed feelings after a one night stand. Which is why I could never do a one night stand. But sex is also pleasureful, and should be vastly and frequently explored, with the right person.

I’m with both of you on this. I think it’s just an INFJ thing because most I talk to are the same way.

It’s not that I find it wrong or anything I just can’t seem to help but hold the act as sacred. It’s literally the most natural and intimate expression one has of displaying their affection for a loved one. So watching people degrade it by using it to manipulate, pander, violate and what have you always turned my stomach no matter how hard I would try to overcome the feeling.

Sex is an act of emotion to me so pretending it’s not just to get off just feels degrading and shameful. But with the right person then pleasure is what it’s all about. lol

**catzmeow** · 07-13-2012, 08:07 AM

I think it's an NF thing. I can't have sex without getting emotionally attached, so I don't. I require both love and pleasure to think sex is worthwhile. Otherwise, I'll just pass.

**Hobo** · 07-13-2012, 08:22 AM

I think it's primarily for pleasure.
But in cases it can be for both, obviously.

**JC22** · 07-13-2012, 08:39 AM

Not a game/toy.

**zibber** · 07-13-2012, 08:45 AM

The dichotomy seems contrived to me. I don't think I'd be very good at sex without any trace of emotional warmth.

**XV44** · 07-13-2012, 09:04 AM

Love enhances the pleasure but invariably ensures heartache later, if one is willing to pay that price then fine, but as for me I am trying to shift to a "purely pleasure" mindset.-

**superflax** · 07-13-2012, 09:33 AM

I thought this title said Your Contraception Of Sex.

I was like WTF?

Anyway to answer your question, both
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**TheStranger** · 07-13-2012, 09:39 AM

Sex has a dark undercurrent, love and pleasure are mere bubbles on the surface.

**thod** · 07-13-2012, 09:47 AM

	Originally Posted by catzmeow To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I can't have sex without getting emotionally attached

That's not a problem, because I can. I want that semen out of my balls and in that vagina. I don't even have to know you. It's like arguing I need to love the toilet to take a dump.

**Still Standing** · 07-13-2012, 10:08 AM

	Originally Posted by sunitaishot To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Is sex for love, for pleasure, or both?

Neither. It's for power, status and money.

**catzmeow** · 07-13-2012, 10:21 AM

	Originally Posted by thod To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	That's not a problem, because I can. I want that semen out of my balls and in that vagina. I don't even have to know you. It's like arguing I need to love the toilet to take a dump.

Who is arguing that you need to feel a specific way?

**Distance** · 07-13-2012, 10:29 AM

Your conception of sex

Technically, sex is the attempted act of conception.

**Shadeylark** · 07-13-2012, 10:34 AM

both.

it can simply be a different expression of love... or completely lacking love.

i love the guys i served in iraq with, but i have absolutely zero desire to screw them.

i love my girlfriend, and i have a healthy desire to get it on with her.

and on the same note, ive had one-nighters where there was no love, it was just about pure pleasure with no attachments.

i love my war buddies no less than i love my girlfriend, but the expression of it differs because it is a different kind of love. sex doesn't enhance one kind of love over the other.

love and sex can be interconnected, but doesn't necessarily have to be. i won't even say that sex with love is always better (there's many ways fucking just for the sake of fucking is great).

heh, thinking about it i realized that i don't think sex is the ultimate expression of love at all. to me the ultimate expression of love is the willingness to sacrifice for someone else, in whatever form that takes.

hi5yourface · 07-13-2012, 10:36 AM

	Originally Posted by thod To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	That's not a problem, because I can. I want that semen out of my balls and in that vagina. I don't even have to know you. It's like arguing I need to love the toilet to take a dump.

I laugh at this explanation.....yes, however your use of the toilet does not induce a biochemical oxytocin rush of love response....the act itself motivates bonding....I don't feel bonded to my toilet either lol!!!!

**zeroemission** · 07-13-2012, 11:59 AM

sex is sex & love is love. i've never experienced both at the same time. i thought i did once, but the feeling of love only went outwards.

**Distance** · 07-13-2012, 12:01 PM

	Originally Posted by hi5yourface To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I laugh at this explanation.....yes, however your use of the toilet does not induce a biochemical oxytocin rush of love response....the act itself motivates bonding....I don't feel bonded to my toilet either lol!!!!

Don't laugh. Some guys must be bonded to their toilets, considering the amount of time spent on them.

**katatonic** · 07-13-2012, 03:17 PM

I can separate emotions from sex but I can also express love through sex. So both. I've probably had sex with more people that I had no sort of emotion for than people I have. Sometimes you just need to bone someone.

**sunitaishot** · 07-13-2012, 05:06 PM

	Originally Posted by Apricots To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Sex is an expression of love to me, so I can't be casual about it. I would be the loser that developed feelings after a one night stand. Which is why I could never do a one night stand. But sex is also pleasureful, and should be vastly and frequently explored, with the right person.

I must be honest and say I've never understood the "sex is only for love" ideal. Sometimes I feel it can just be relieving an urge/feeling, and not to express love exclusively.

To answer my own question, I believe it's both.

07-13-2012, 06:58 AM	#1
sunitaishot Suspended MBTI: ENTJ Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 3,572	Is sex for love, for pleasure, or both?
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07-13-2012, 07:10 AM	#2
dontmesswithme Core Member [129%] MBTI: INFJ Join Date: Dec 2009 Posts: 5,163	Both. I often wish I was the type who can just have casual sex with anyone, because then I could actually have sex again. But I'm not. I have to have strong feelings for someone to even consider having sex with them. I also think that love augments sex.
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07-13-2012, 07:13 AM	#3
Fishism Member [29%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Oct 2010 Posts: 1,185	Both. Or should I say either? Either is not an option, so I've confused myself. To me, pleasure and love are not mutually exclusive. One can have one without the other.
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07-13-2012, 07:46 AM	#7
Apricots Member [04%] MBTI: INFJ Join Date: Jul 2012 Posts: 176	Sex is an expression of love to me, so I can't be casual about it. I would be the loser that developed feelings after a one night stand. Which is why I could never do a one night stand. But sex is also pleasureful, and should be vastly and frequently explored, with the right person.
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07-13-2012, 08:07 AM	#9
catzmeow Core Member [148%] MBTI: ENFP Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 5,949	I think it's an NF thing. I can't have sex without getting emotionally attached, so I don't. I require both love and pleasure to think sex is worthwhile. Otherwise, I'll just pass.
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07-13-2012, 08:22 AM	#10
Hobo Member [02%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Jul 2012 Posts: 93	I think it's primarily for pleasure. But in cases it can be for both, obviously.
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07-13-2012, 08:39 AM	#11
JC22 Core Member [112%] MBTI: xxxx Join Date: Sep 2011 Posts: 4,509	Not a game/toy.
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07-13-2012, 08:45 AM	#12
zibber Core Member [407%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 16,282	The dichotomy seems contrived to me. I don't think I'd be very good at sex without any trace of emotional warmth.
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07-13-2012, 09:04 AM	#13
XV44 Member [06%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Jul 2012 Posts: 255	Love enhances the pleasure but invariably ensures heartache later, if one is willing to pay that price then fine, but as for me I am trying to shift to a "purely pleasure" mindset.-
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07-13-2012, 09:33 AM	#14
superflax Member [33%] MBTI: ENFJ Join Date: Jan 2012 Posts: 1,335	I thought this title said Your Contraception Of Sex. I was like WTF? Anyway to answer your question, both To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
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07-13-2012, 09:39 AM	#15
TheStranger Core Member [148%] MBTI: intp Join Date: Oct 2010 Posts: 5,943	Sex has a dark undercurrent, love and pleasure are mere bubbles on the surface.
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07-13-2012, 10:29 AM	#19
Distance Core Member [410%] MBTI: eNTj Join Date: Apr 2010 Posts: 16,408	Your conception of sex Technically, sex is the attempted act of conception.
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07-13-2012, 10:34 AM	#20
Shadeylark Member [30%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Feb 2012 Posts: 1,225	both. it can simply be a different expression of love... or completely lacking love. i love the guys i served in iraq with, but i have absolutely zero desire to screw them. i love my girlfriend, and i have a healthy desire to get it on with her. and on the same note, ive had one-nighters where there was no love, it was just about pure pleasure with no attachments. i love my war buddies no less than i love my girlfriend, but the expression of it differs because it is a different kind of love. sex doesn't enhance one kind of love over the other. love and sex can be interconnected, but doesn't necessarily have to be. i won't even say that sex with love is always better (there's many ways fucking just for the sake of fucking is great). heh, thinking about it i realized that i don't think sex is the ultimate expression of love at all. to me the ultimate expression of love is the willingness to sacrifice for someone else, in whatever form that takes.
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07-13-2012, 11:59 AM	#22
zeroemission Core Member [126%] MBTI: Intx Join Date: Feb 2012 Posts: 5,062	sex is sex & love is love. i've never experienced both at the same time. i thought i did once, but the feeling of love only went outwards.
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07-13-2012, 03:17 PM	#24
katatonic Member [26%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Jul 2012 Posts: 1,043	I can separate emotions from sex but I can also express love through sex. So both. I've probably had sex with more people that I had no sort of emotion for than people I have. Sometimes you just need to bone someone.
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