[Awesome]

Some good information in this post.


Clueless
My question for you is.... How do we be normal?
We are constantly evaluating what is normal.
We see one person do the complete opposite of what another person does.
Is it normal to be fake? Be polite in the face of aggression?
When we state an opinion and someone doesn't understand it what do we do?
Should we be rude? As in express our distaste for something.

All in all when someone comes up to talk to me especially if they seem interested in talking to me I can feel this ball of fear and confusion.

Of course rarely any of my interactions seem to go bad.
But then again. I only have a few friends.
Zero dating life.
I am told that people think I am extrovert while at work.

If only they knew...

[Clueless]

	Originally Posted by curiousgeorge01 To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Clueless what's your wife like? I know I had problems dating girly girls. My current SO is sort of tomboyish so she didn't really care that much that I was a bit cold and we started out as friends who hung out once every few weeks or so.

Mine thought she was tomboyish growing up, but she's really quite stereotypically feminine. My wife and I have known each other virtually all of our lives but our marriage is the second for each. I truly can't imagine a better outcome and she claims to share this sentiment. We had mild struggles early in our marriage but once we learned each others' communication styles those all but disappeared. She's an amazing human being. Warm, very empathetic, generous to a fault, and exceptionally intelligent. We've been married for over 13 years now.

Could be a contributor to our harmony is that she thinks tomboyish, even though she really isn't deep down. Dunno for sure, but it's good.

---------- Post added 07-04-2012 at 01:14 PM ----------

	Originally Posted by thod To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Do people with AS want a relationship? If so, do they want it as much as other people?

Please explain the method by which the answer to the above can be determined.

	Originally Posted by thod To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	It seems to me that the lack of understanding, the lack of communication would not be enough to satisfy a normal person. It would be a parody of a relationship with the AS attempting to simulate responses but feeling nothing.

The bolded above is indicative of ignorance. Failure to behave in a manner consistent with your expectations does not necessarily coorelate to a lack of understanding. Lack of agreement with convention is more accurate.

As to feeling nothing I'm speechless, which is good because such an ignorant belief need not be legitimized with reasoned response.

---------- Post added 07-04-2012 at 01:44 PM ----------

	Originally Posted by Awesome To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Some good information in this post. Clueless My question for you is.... How do we be normal?

My point is that you're already normal, just accept it.

	Originally Posted by Awesome To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	We are constantly evaluating what is normal.

Because normalcy occupies such a wide sprectrum. If you aren't constantly suppressing a desire to kick children or bite dogs just for fun, you likely fall within that spectrum.

	Originally Posted by Awesome To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	We see one person do the complete opposite of what another person does. Is it normal to be fake? Be polite in the face of aggression? When we state an opinion and someone doesn't understand it what do we do? Should we be rude? As in express our distaste for something.

The world would be a pretty boring place were all humans alike. This is life. People are different, and have differing personalities. As a rule be polite, be gracious, be generous with compliments. These activities have a logical purpose in that they serve to set others at ease and afford them a feeling of acceptance.

	Originally Posted by Awesome To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	All in all when someone comes up to talk to me especially if they seem interested in talking to me I can feel this ball of fear and confusion.

What you describe here is your own desire to be accepted. Every normal person feels this way.

	Originally Posted by Awesome To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Of course rarely any of my interactions seem to go bad. But then again. I only have a few friends. Zero dating life. I am told that people think I am extrovert while at work. If only they knew...

You're fine, and can be better than fine over time. You simply have a predisposition to evaluate what you see around you through the use of logic devoid of emotion (as though that really were possible for any human), but you may be naturally better suited to such an endeavor than many. Relax and realize that humans aren't logical. We need not be for this world would suck if we were. Those emotions you feel have a purpose. Quit ignoring them and put 'em to use.