[Nicole1975]

I was just thinking about how this has happened to me... OMG TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO many times! I tell a guy "no" and he starts with like "why not?" and he sits there and argues with me. Dude, this will NEVER ever get anywhere with me.

I'd like thoughts and experiences. Anyone know of a scenario where it worked? Maybe it works on those ditzy bimbo types?

[LifesEcstasy]

I call those people annoying and they usually get nothing except ignored from me. They do not seem to understand that their reasoning or argument is irrelevant because it's my decision and I don't owe them an explanation nor do I need to take into account their point of view.

No. I don't like you.

Is quite sufficient for me. And yes I do know my own mind and no I'm not making a huge mistake. You now arguing with me is the validation that this is not a mistake. I simply can't stand anyone who tries to assert themselves into my world. You've either got an invitation or you haven't.

[mieu]

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. Be fair and at least give them a firm 'no' and a chance to prove that they're a d-bag first.

[AlfredSchnittke]

Here's the thing, tons of girls/women like to go through this process.

I guess because it subconsciously lets them feel less slutty, or (in some actual cases I know of) it's kind of a slight indulgence in a rape-esque kind of scenario.

Whatever the reason, a lot of women say know with the expectation that guys will keep coming, and after a few more no's they'll say yes, and then it becomes "ok".

I don't know why this is, it works against me as I usually stop after a single no, but I guess sex is so valuable that most guys will keep going to see if you are one of the more popular "say no three times before giving a yes" or one of the rare ones that says no and actually means it the first time. =/

[overthought]

It is the attitude that most people can be persuaded to change their mind. I mean, plop some people down in front of a TV and listen to them almost buy everything that pops up in advertisements.

Now, take that same mentality toward dating. Some women can definitely be talked into changing their "no."

[ThingInItsSelf]

The conversation that boggles my minde and happens too often:

Guy: "Heeeey, so how about you and me look at getting to know each other better?"
Me: "I'm flattered but I have a boy friend, we have been together for years"
Guy: "Thats cool ... he doesn't have to know"


.... really?

[curiousgeorge01]

Well is the argument that he argues with you or that he keeps trying? I could understand trying to rationalize with you wouldn't work but often women want men to keep trying.

[AlfredSchnittke]

	Originally Posted by ThingInItsSelf To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	The conversation that boggles my minde and happens too often: Guy: "Heeeey, so how about you and me look at getting to know each other better?" Me: "I'm flattered but I have a boy friend, we have been together for years" Guy: "Thats cool ... he doesn't have to know" .... really?

You never know, it's not like men are the only ones that cheat. You might get lucky, and that's really it's all about isn't it?

[BuShinJu]

	Originally Posted by curiousgeorge01 To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	but often women want men to keep trying.

So,

What does "no" mean now?

1) No = No (not ever, nah uhh)
2) No = Ask again (3 is the magic number)
3) No = Yes (it's a code)

(When I look around I see a lot of people, how did they all get here with this going on?)

[mieu]

Originally Posted by AlfredSchnittke To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Here's the thing, tons of girls/women like to go through this process. I guess because it subconsciously lets them feel less slutty, or (in some actual cases I know of) it's kind of a slight indulgence in a rape-esque kind of scenario. Whatever the reason, a lot of women say know with the expectation that guys will keep coming, and after a few more no's they'll say yes, and then it becomes "ok". I don't know why this is, it works against me as I usually stop after a single no, but I guess sex is so valuable that most guys will keep going to see if you are one of the more popular "say no three times before giving a yes" or one of the rare ones that says no and actually means it the first time. =/

I wouldn't say you're losing out, do you want to deal with a girl that plays that kind of a game? Assuming you only ask once out of respect for her (and because, you know, no means no) you're probably being discerning (and not desperate) and expect a person to be reasonable who isn't going to jerk you around, even if it is just for casual sex.

[Silverity]

	Originally Posted by ThingInItsSelf To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	The conversation that boggles my minde and happens too often: Guy: "Heeeey, so how about you and me look at getting to know each other better?" Me: "I'm flattered but I have a boy friend, we have been together for years" Guy: "Thats cool ... he doesn't have to know" .... really?

Ugh, yeah, I've had so many guys try and convince me to cheat on my partners, it's disgusting. Or they give you the, "I don't see a ring" routine and try to convince you that if you're not married they can do whatever they want to you (uh, right, like I won't retaliate if you try and rape me? Idiots).

I just use the broken record strategy. Repeat no, over and over again. They don't need an explanation of why you're turning them down, you've said no, the answer is no.

I find the guys that persist are pretty sketchy though. They're in sketchy places, they're usually horrendously older than me (20+ years), or they seem desperate and run down. At least, that has been the common trend in my experience.

[Fecal McAngry]

	Originally Posted by mieu To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. . Be fair and at least give them a firm 'no' and a chance to prove that they're a d-bag first.

She's an ESTJ, btw. For whomever was wondering what ESTJs are like
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[Muse]

Apparently it works sometimes. I don't bother because

1. it's super awkward,
2. most girls I like enough to ask explain their no anyways (and say thank you),
3. I hate game playing.

[MyotisLucifugus]

I had that happen a handful of times when I was doing the online dating thing. I'd get messages from men who appeared really incompatible with me, and when I'd politely decline I'd get a lot of rebuttals and rationalizations, which only wound up becoming extremely agitating over time.

I don't let very many people too deeply into my private life, and I take dating (hell, even meeting new people without the implication of developing romantic feelings) seriously, both because of my cautiousness and my hesitance to hurt people and/or waste their time. I already know I'm not going to be suitable for a good number of men, so the "But, but, BUT WHYYYY" routine really irritates me when I know ahead of time that the dude nagging me who doesn't know me at all is going to lose interest and vanish anyway.

Apparently this approach works at least a small percentage of the time, otherwise it wouldn't happen so often.

[ThingInItsSelf]

	I find the guys that persist are pretty sketchy though. They're in sketchy places, they're usually horrendously older than me (20+ years), or they seem desperate and run down. At least, that has been the common trend in my experience.

LOL! Little do they know they are reenforcing just how attractive your partner is by comparison... its never Vincent Cassel making the play =P

[curiousgeorge01]

Originally Posted by MyotisLucifugus To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

I don't let very many people too deeply into my private life, and I take dating (hell, even meeting new people without the implication of developing romantic feelings) seriously, both because of my cautiousness and my hesitance to hurt people and/or waste their time. I already know I'm not going to be suitable for a good number of men, so the "But, but, BUT WHYYYY" routine really irritates me when I know ahead of time that the dude nagging me who doesn't know me at all is going to lose interest and vanish anyway.

So it's more the whining rather than trying a different approach?

[MyotisLucifugus]

	Originally Posted by curiousgeorge01 To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	So it's more the whining rather than trying a different approach?

Well, the rebuttals gave me the impression of condescending "I know what's better for you than you do" posturing, which didn't help any, but in all honesty most of those messages were obvious throw everything out there tactics. I wouldn't be at all surprised if the bulk (if not all) of the ones who gave me a hard time were messaging every single woman within specific age/location parameters with the same thing and using the same responses when turned down. It's not as if these came from anyone who actually put any thought into messaging me.

I messaged a lot of men out of the blue, too, and that had differing levels of success involved. Over time, despite every single message board I've ever posted on having threads lamenting stonewalling, I began taking on the tactics of the men who hadn't been interested in me -- total non-response. It stung a little, but I got over it, which means they could, too. They just chose not to.

[curiousgeorge01]

Originally Posted by MyotisLucifugus To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Well, the rebuttals gave me the impression of condescending "I know what's better for you than you do" posturing, which didn't help any, but in all honesty most of those messages were obvious throw everything out there tactics. I wouldn't be at all surprised if the bulk (if not all) of the ones who gave me a hard time were messaging every single woman within specific age/location parameters with the same thing and using the same responses when turned down. It's not as if these came from anyone who actually put any thought into messaging me. I messaged a lot of men out of the blue, too, and that had differing levels of success involved. Over time, despite every single message board I've ever posted on having threads lamenting stonewalling, I began taking on the tactics of the men who hadn't been interested in me -- total non-response. It stung a little, but I got over it, which means they could, too. They just chose not to.

LOL so it was the whining.

See?! Men tactics do work!

[Esrevinu]

Originally Posted by LifesEcstasy To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

I call those people annoying and they usually get nothing except ignored from me. They do not seem to understand that their reasoning or argument is irrelevant because it's my decision and I don't owe them an explanation nor do I need to take into account their point of view. No. I don't like you. Is quite sufficient for me. And yes I do know my own mind and no I'm not making a huge mistake. You now arguing with me is the validation that this is not a mistake. I simply can't stand anyone who tries to assert themselves into my world. You've either got an invitation or you haven't.

You sound hot. You're missing out by not becoming my friend on facebook

[Smacknrat]

There's a lot of bad and mixed advice out there on picking up women. Just sayin'...

Not that doing the opposite was any better for me. "Be myself." and all that. Which really meant rejection on a variety of levels ranging from "I was just doing research for a blog article" to the polite "no" and evade.

I don't mix business and pleasure but this person was new in town so made my invitation to a local performance of a broadway show. Not sure if this was taken as a date or if I repulsed them on a friendly level because I got the no-evade.

The no-evade is silly and childish.

Of course... the most shitty "no" I got was the 4 year relationship that revealed that there was a pregnancy involved... that was not mine. Could be worse for those fella's.

---------- Post added 06-12-2012 at 07:11 PM ----------

	Originally Posted by Esrevinu To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	You sound hot. You're missing out by not becoming my friend on facebook

LOL. I have to read her posts twice before I move on. JUST because I know she's not intentionally being mean. I sent three or four requests myself and i think she must've missed them.

[Distance]

	Originally Posted by mieu To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. . Be fair and at least give them a firm 'no' and a chance to prove that they're a d-bag first.

The funniest part is that her methodology would probably work although you also risk being beheaded with a machete, by the 'end of the world' sign toting guys!
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[Nicole1975]

	Originally Posted by ThingInItsSelf To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	LOL! Little do they know they are reenforcing just how attractive your partner is by comparison... its never Vincent Cassel making the play =P

Yeah, I can see that convo LOL...

So, my bf is only 9 months older than me, handsome, doesn't smell and makes about 60k a year. You smell, you're 15 to 20 years older than me, don't know what a comb is, unemployed and living with your mama... PLEASE tell me.... please, oh please, tell me why I should consider dumping him for you.....

---------- Post added 06-12-2012 at 07:25 PM ----------

Originally Posted by MyotisLucifugus To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Well, the rebuttals gave me the impression of condescending "I know what's better for you than you do" posturing, which didn't help any, but in all honesty most of those messages were obvious throw everything out there tactics. I wouldn't be at all surprised if the bulk (if not all) of the ones who gave me a hard time were messaging every single woman within specific age/location parameters with the same thing and using the same responses when turned down. It's not as if these came from anyone who actually put any thought into messaging me. I messaged a lot of men out of the blue, too, and that had differing levels of success involved. Over time, despite every single message board I've ever posted on having threads lamenting stonewalling, I began taking on the tactics of the men who hadn't been interested in me -- total non-response. It stung a little, but I got over it, which means they could, too. They just chose not to.

When I have an online profile, I'm very specific in it what I'm looking for.... I make sure to put age. If they are older, usually the case, I feel 100% entitled to ignore it. You had my answer before you message me.

[Boreal]

Oh, man, so annoying. I feel like after a strong 'No' any insult or bashing is on the table, and if that doesn't work... pretty much anything semi-legal. I am a male and I say that after two 'No's the third one can be in the form of testicle ram a la meteoric knee hammer. In fact, I give it the small endorsement sticker of approval.

This isn't the most effective way to get them to shut up (i like mieu's face thing video ^^^), but that is how little patience I have for people who try to convince you into a relationship. Do try and have more :D.

[Esrevinu]

	Originally Posted by Boreal To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I feel like after a strong 'No' any insult or bashing is on the table, and if that doesn't work... pretty much anything semi-legal. I am a male and I say that after two 'No's the third one can be in the form of testicle ram a la meteoric knee hammer. In fact, I give it the small endorsement sticker of approval.

For a moment I thought you were describing rape, but then I realized you meant when YOU say no, not when they say no to you.

[mieu]

	Originally Posted by Distance To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	The funniest part is that her methodology would probably work although you also risk being beheaded with a machete, by the 'end of the world' sign toting guys! To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

I successfully executed a variation of this (several years before the video came out
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) by repeating a very Farnsworthian
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with a look of abject incredulity, but I was also quite inebriated at the time and he probably had good reason to believe I would have eaten his face persisted.

In light of that, I guess it wasn't anything like the video. I'm sorry everyone.