[Ariely]

	Originally Posted by mysticatalyst To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I find myself sitting through most of these meetings listening to my members argue with each other over irrelevant matter and I am sitting there thinking to myself "Can we get to the point?"

I relate to this. I’ve been a board member of a medium sized sports organization for some years now and the meetings tend to get drawn out with people spending an awful lot of time on discussing irrelevant issues. I’ve accepted that meetings just take longer time due to this, but I will normally try to direct the discussion in a more efficient direction. I have noticed that most discussion and arguments that take place are only due to people not being able to understand the other persons view point or vice versa. This will cause me to simplify the issue they are discussing so that both parts are able to understand the issue and quite often this will increase the time needed to reach the goal.

	Originally Posted by mysticatalyst To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Maybe I should yell across the room?

There are many interesting ways of going about this. I’ve have had to help a friend out a couple of times leading some tours around Scotland for university students. This was typically trips with between 50-80 people. In cases of groups that are this large, I quite dislike having to stand up in front of them and giving them directions. Therefore, I had another person doing all the practical stuff, yelling out information and all that, where I was just maintaining control behind the scenes.

When it comes to having to lead meetings and projects I find it quite useful to dress and “act” in ways that enhance the way people perceive me. Moderating appearance is something that I have noticed often being neglected by INTJ’s.

It is quite difficult for me to give you advice in a situation where it seems you are required to lead a discussion, since it is more complex than are discussion among peers. What I have experienced though, is that over time people in the board will keep quiet and not interrupt when I speak. They have learned to value what I say and I don’t have to talk a lot to make a large impact on the meetings. Even though I am 15 years younger than the second youngest member of the board, I am perceived as a person that is very much worth listening to.

Think the only valuable piece of advice I can really give is to get more experience and figure out what works in the context. I can for good reasons not observe what you are doing at a meeting, but you could probably ask some of the people you trust at the meetings for pointers and how they perceive you. Might get some surprising information.

[mysticatalyst]

	Originally Posted by Ariely To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	When it comes to having to lead meetings and projects I find it quite useful to dress and “act” in ways that enhance the way people perceive me. Moderating appearance is something that I have noticed often being neglected by INTJ’s.

I'm new to the server so I am not sure yet how to dissect and quote pieces of a reply, so if these appear off, I apologize. I very much agree with this statement. It is important to moderate appearance as so many go by physical countenance, not just by what's in our mystifying heads. I used to work at a bank as a finance manager so I understand the dress code issue. It's a little bit harder with college, plus being on funemployment, I have found myself lacking the motivation to dress in anything other than yoga pants or t-shirts and jeans.

---------- Post added 07-24-2012 at 03:51 PM ----------

	Originally Posted by Ariely To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Think the only valuable piece of advice I can really give is to get more experience and figure out what works in the context. I can for good reasons not observe what you are doing at a meeting, but you could probably ask some of the people you trust at the meetings for pointers and how they perceive you. Might get some surprising information.

Agreed as well! Reminds me of SWOT analysis. I have considered doing it again for personal assessment, although I am largely skeptical when receiving feedback from others about how they perceive me. I struggle with valuing others opinions. Need to open my mind more. What's that old saying? Oh yes, Aristotle...." It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it." Could I dare say this works for opinions as well?


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[Ariely]

	Originally Posted by mysticatalyst To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Could I dare say this works for opinions as well?

Quantifying the dimensions of the SWOT based on your own critical assessment of your own abilities and potential the perceptions of others might make it easier to figure out how to go about dealing with the whole issue.

Guess I would do it so that the strengths and weaknesses are used to determine potential opportunities of improvement, but I doubt that the threats part is needed. But yeah, knowing your strengths and weaknesses, then focusing on how to improve them and keeping track of the improvement through measuring them towards the objective that you want to reach is probably the way to go.

[Loneliness327]

1.the guilty feeling of doing a complete analysis of someone you're trying to be friends with. (it feels so unfair that i know pretty much everything about them but it seems like they don't know me at all)"Friends" are already rare enough. Most people are just too...boring and easy to figure out.
2. natural reaction to reject a social meeting/activity. i just don't see the point in going to meet a bunch of people whom i barely talk to anyways and that i've already finished analyzing. my social awkwardness doesn't help either although it's been better to control recently.

[80085]

The communication issues are a big one for me. I dislike being constantly misunderstood because of my tone or intensity as well as not being able to take the "intuitive leap" abilities of others' for granted (Because when I have to meet others on their level and explain things more completely, my train of thought often escapes me and the conversation does not progress at a pace that holds my interest. I don't really blame others for this, I just chalk it up to bad type distributions in society and my own preferences.

[sed0007]

Originally Posted by 80085 To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

The communication issues are a big one for me. I dislike being constantly misunderstood because of my tone or intensity as well as not being able to take the "intuitive leap" abilities of others' for granted (Because when I have to meet others on their level and explain things more completely, my train of thought often escapes me and the conversation does not progress at a pace that holds my interest. I don't really blame others for this, I just chalk it up to bad type distributions in society and my own preferences.

"Tone and intensity". The strengths of my character.....and the swords on which I repeatedly fall when my good will is perceived as malice.

[leeport]

peoples misconception of me, for instance people will take most of my comments without interest or even as arrogance but i am just being truthful. for example i have been asked if i thought i was intelligent and when i answered yes i got told that i am arrogant but i was only being honest because i do believe that i am intelligent.

[75422INTJ]

A don't mind the isolation so much....yeah I would like more friends especially INTJs but they are so hard to find that I really have given up on it. I want people to understand me when I present plans for taking over the world...but they don't. I don't get frustrated anymore because I know they don't process information the same. I really don't hate any part of it. I don't hate not being emotional, or the isolation. I need the isolation a lot because people and superficial behavior gets on my nerves. I only know of 1 INTJ and we were friends for about 10 years. When we were talking we knew exactly what the other person would say. I do miss that type of connection with other people, but I think it is as rare as we are.

I wear my INTJ personality with a badge of honor. Even the parts that I do like as much.

[nharkey]

I would say that it is the difficulty in finding close friends. I am not so much an I that I don't enjoy social activities with a variety of people, but people that I really deeply like are very few and between.

[jetplane48]

Not being able to figure out which cognitive functions I have.

[sed0007]

Being a "nature boy" on the inside, and a 'villain' in perceivable appearance on the outside.

[DSCH]

There is nothing that I hate about being an intj, but I do find certain traits highly annoying. The inability recognize some of the more subtle aspects of social convention such as flirtations bothers me more than anything.

[Call me Lee]

I hate the fact that my introversion causes me to withdraw from people whom I'm actually interested in romantically. After a week or two of talking to them, I need a week or two (if not more) of absence. In that absent time, they logically come to the conclusion that I am not interested in them.

When I contact them again, they're rather hurt and upset. (Or they've gone out and found someone else in the interim - which makes me rather hurt and upset.)

I fully intend to design and mass produce boyfriend and girlfriend bots for those of the introverted persuasion. The bot can be turned off at any time, and be stored in a closet until further interaction is desired.

[frontaLobotomy]

Not having a suitable icebreaker for conversation, its really hard to figure out.

[sed0007]

I hate it that I assume my boss admires me for more than my perfect attendance and punctuality.

[Phasor]

Nothing. Its all borgs and lasers here.

[mosfet]

	Originally Posted by illustral To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	The physical, mental, and emotional isolation. I'm so tired of being alone.

Not only that applies to me. I am bored really fast. Most people bore me out. That make people think I am not interested in them, but that's not true. I want to learn more about the peoples inner state of mind, but the most don't get that. Then I am bored. And I hate it.

[Evil Muffin]

I hate the fact that we are so few. If only we were like 20-30% of the population...!!
Imagine how great life would be!! For us AND for the rest of humanity.

('cause the vast majority of scientists & philosophers in history were xNTx, who are the main force towards technological & spiritual evolution)

And as many have stated already, it's not healthy nor productive to blame your personality. If you want to blame someone, blame society. If the majority of people were more spiritual matured/evolved, we wouldn't be so frustrated.

We'd still feel lonely if did not have any of our kind close to us, but at least we wouldn't have to deal with the hatred towards us (= different from the average human)

[Vocal]

Maybe you should inverse that.

[zo3gI]

i hate that i'm looked at as different or weird. its ok though, i get by just fine.

[sunlover]

	Originally Posted by Bluestreak To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I can't say I hate anything about being INTJ. But I have a complaint or two. 1.) The constantly churning thoughts. Unless I'm asleep/unconscious, it never stops. Ever. 2.) The natural aversion to social situations. I've done my best to overcome the introvert, but I still do not care for most social gatherings and/or crowds.

#1 agree completely, I must average 2 hours a night less sleep than my ESFJ wife who simply has to lie prone to nod off. As for #2, after I hit my mid 40's it started to change, I'm more open and relaxed in social settings.

[slipperypole]

I wish I could show more warmth and make people smile. Also I get overloaded with too much social stimulus. Once I was part of a fun group activity, but my brain just shut down in response. I hate how I can't process too much emotional information.

[Shinganist]

Nothing. I love being an INTJ and I love me, in a healthy way. I serve a purpose in the world as a whole, or whatever purpose I choose. I am blessed by astronomical odds. I have the ability to improve on anything I see. I am able to break down anything and reassemble it. And my ability to take in information and throw out what's not needed is exceptional. My deposition allows me to improve in leaps and bounds. I see the world clear as day. The world, a machine, with almost unlimited potential. The things I can do and the things we can do is great, even if individually what we do is small, collectively what we do is great, regardless of personality. We're all here and serve a purpose. I have high hopes for the future despite the uncertainties, and the repercussions of negative possibilities. The more the water, the higher the boat.

But most of all, I know that my love, my family and my friends, will all be accounted for and well treated. And through them, good to my neighbor, in sometimes nonsensical ways that they will not understand till some time later. And through those people a deeper understanding of myself and smile at my ignorance.

[mosfet]

Permanent loneliness, even then if I have some people around me.

[wlanguru]

I really am mostly happy with who I am and what my personality is.

	Originally Posted by slipperypole To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I wish I could show more warmth and make people smile.

Although this is a huge struggle for me. I show warmth and try to make people smile and end feeling fake and disgusting.