[leafylampshade]

	Originally Posted by TyphoonBlizzard To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I would like to turn off the analytical part of my brain for a while, and take things at face value. When people talk to me, instead of listening to what they're saying, I'm searching for the hidden agenda, what their body language is saying, etc.

This is a double-edged sword. The analytical part is probably your best defense for now. Body language is important, and often there is a hidden agenda depending on who you're dealing with. But it's easy to take it too far and just end up paranoid and alone for no good reason, and never able to be comfortable with anyone.

To some extent, most people are capable of being pretty manipulative - even "us" - but that's part of being human and how society works, what happens when you have so many individuals with competing interests. I think the difference between INTJs and most other types is that most people just naturally accept that and try to fit themselves into the system, whereas we're more likely to find it unsatisfactory and either fight it or try to remove ourselves from it by being as self-sufficient as possible. Maybe we create our own, better, insulated world, ideal for ourselves if no one else. But we do ourselves a disservice by doing that, because then our people skills/instincts never have a chance to really develop, and it leaves us vulnerable if we do make this decision to simply turn off the analyzing and go with the flow for a little while, in some attempt to be more normal or adventurous.

When you get more comfortable interacting with a wider range of people even on a surface level, I think that over-analyzing thing does end up backing off a bit by itself. To take its place, you have a stronger set of people skills and street smarts, and the social anxiety has a chance to die away.

This may not pertain much to you directly, I don't know, and obviously won't apply to everyone here - but that's my personal experience with what you said.

[potterprincess]

I hate how I feel different from everyone else. I feel like people see me as wierd, or different, and distance themselves from me. I hate how I can't small talk and chit chat, thus causing akward silence, which I also hate. I hate how I can't flirt (I've never had a boyfriend--and now I know it's probablly because of this reason). I hate how we're smarter than everyone else so people always seem stupid to us, which is frustrating when they don't do things the 'right' way or the 'logical' way, or you're trying to explain something to them and they're just not smart enough to get it. There are lots of things I hate about my personality type, but I wouldn't trade it for the world. I am who I am, and I am the rarest one, which explains why I am so different (until recently, I didn't know my personality type was what made me so different, and now I embrace it.) I love being an INTJ. <3 <3 <3

[foroneonly]

Lack of natural social awareness. This has caused me innumerable unnecessary problems.....

[crazyshoots]

Originally Posted by potterprincess To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

I hate how I feel different from everyone else. I feel like people see me as wierd, or different, and distance themselves from me. I hate how I can't small talk and chit chat, thus causing akward silence, which I also hate. I hate how I can't flirt (I've never had a boyfriend--and now I know it's probablly because of this reason). I hate how we're smarter than everyone else so people always seem stupid to us, which is frustrating when they don't do things the 'right' way or the 'logical' way, or you're trying to explain something to them and they're just not smart enough to get it. There are lots of things I hate about my personality type, but I wouldn't trade it for the world. I am who I am, and I am the rarest one, which explains why I am so different (until recently, I didn't know my personality type was what made me so different, and now I embrace it.) I love being an INTJ. <3 <3 <3

I don't hate how I feel different from everyone else but I agree it distant me somehow in my relationships; platonic or not. I'm always analysing people, from first impressions to every single decision, sentence and action. I've learn to trust myself in that aspect after I gave "benefit of doubts" to people who don't deserve it.

I took the test 6 years ago but over the years I think I grew up and some of the traits (individualism, introversion) are probably less showing now that I learnt how to deal with them.

I still find myself uttering names in my mind when I meet people who are simply dumb though.

[peppersasen]

i hate that every single time i get tested--by different test sources too, i'm always INTJ+ (always with low TJ levels, but always INTJ). okay, maybe not FULLY "INTJ+" (more like: I+/N+/T-/J-, but i still can't go around claiming i'm in INFP without lying either). i don't like it, i don't identify with the way some INTJs here behave (one pet peeve of mine is when they say "we like it when you...", "our thinking process...", "we don't need...", etc.).

why is it that many INTJs here speak as if they need to behave like they're a rare endangered species with special needs? it's kind of like: you know how when you enter the workforce you're supposed to understand that you're supposed to adapt to the office's work culture instead of DEMANDING the office to understand you? well, some INTJs act like they're entitled to be understood at the workplace, except it's in a wider scale (life in general). "Please Understand Me" was a crappy title for an MBTI book. it's an invitation (a licence even) for adults to behave like whiny children (or the irreplaceable employee with hyper-specialized skills). i thought MBTI was meant for us to understand ourselves and adapt. what are you people doing, sending out copies of "Please Understand Me" to everyone you know so they can treat you appropriately?

honestly, you'll never get what you want. never. i try not to hurt your eyes by not using smileys, and then you complain you can't capture my "nuance". there's no please you. it's an impossible task not worth attempting. please understand yourselves and learn to adapt with the world, the world won't adapt with you...

[Samoan Corleone]

I hate that we don't have any cool letters like 'C' or 'X'.

	Originally Posted by Jiskya To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Is it okay to just blame your personality?

No. That seems incredibly lazy. If there are things you don't like about your personality, you can always work at changing and adapting and learning new things. You can talk to people too. My friends know not to get offended if I don't want to go out drinking with them from 7pm Friday to 10am Saturday every weekend, that sometimes I prefer to be holed up in my room with a good movie or video game. Scoring as an INTJ isn't a life sentence. You can't let four letters define you and dictate how you see yourself.

[teraczy]

Lack of visible vulnerability that make people feel comfortable or would make them endear themselves to you. Otherwise known as appearing overly intimidating, confident, and arrogant when really you despise yourself for feeling so separate from the world and even from your own body at times because you're so sequestered in your own mind.


I also hate it when I can see everything that is going on, right through the bullshit, cutting through any hope of an ideal. That's just me though, and I'm not sure if that's so very INTJ because I don't consider myself "textbook." So many people I can read all too easily, leaving little mystery or intrigue...and instead predictability and painful conversation.

[TyphoonBlizzard]

Originally Posted by leafylampshade To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

This is a double-edged sword. The analytical part is probably your best defense for now. Body language is important, and often there is a hidden agenda depending on who you're dealing with. But it's easy to take it too far and just end up paranoid and alone for no good reason, and never able to be comfortable with anyone. To some extent, most people are capable of being pretty manipulative - even "us" - but that's part of being human and how society works, what happens when you have so many individuals with competing interests. I think the difference between INTJs and most other types is that most people just naturally accept that and try to fit themselves into the system, whereas we're more likely to find it unsatisfactory and either fight it or try to remove ourselves from it by being as self-sufficient as possible. Maybe we create our own, better, insulated world, ideal for ourselves if no one else. But we do ourselves a disservice by doing that, because then our people skills/instincts never have a chance to really develop, and it leaves us vulnerable if we do make this decision to simply turn off the analyzing and go with the flow for a little while, in some attempt to be more normal or adventurous. When you get more comfortable interacting with a wider range of people even on a surface level, I think that over-analyzing thing does end up backing off a bit by itself. To take its place, you have a stronger set of people skills and street smarts, and the social anxiety has a chance to die away. This may not pertain much to you directly, I don't know, and obviously won't apply to everyone here - but that's my personal experience with what you said.

Don't you worry, I am exceptionally capable of being a complete Machiavellian ass, but after building a more solid moral compass, tried to avoid that. And it takes a lot of effort to play people against each other.

It's the over-analyzing part that worries me, seeing something that actually isn't there.

[KeithP]

I've thought it over. Currently there isn't a thing I really dislike about myself, asides from maybe my procrastination to actually make a doctors appointment to see a dermatologist.

All INTJ type people have the ability to be happy at all times. In fact, I'm more closely leaning towards we're one of the types that can be the most satisfied out of all the types. Because we're smart enough (mostly) to understand there is no reason to be sad or hate. At least as one matures. Chicka-chick-boom.

[HWSNBN]

I for the most part enjoy being an INTJ. I simply wish I wouldn't be so judgmental. Oh and being socially awkward kind of sucks too.

[hamlet9]

I wish there were more people I really liked and wanted to spend time with. As it is, I hardly like anyone.

[Qeekoo]

The thing I hate the most about being an INTJ must be how other people generally don't understand us (could be just me, but as far as I know, many INTJs think the same).

[jimmythejet]

Being completely naive to how human relationships are supposed to work.

[awalkingcliche]

Love. Being an INTJ makes it especially hard to have successful relationships. Love is the only thing I can't figure out, which pisses me off.

[Autumnleaf]

Being socially inept when it comes to how people feel. I go out of my way to try and be nice sometimes and often as not it bites me in the ass.

[Arbosis]

The mental chaos circle around me that negatively affects even the people I like to be with (even/like INFJ) and that will keep me forever alone

[Rovin]

The fact that my style of communication leads people on first meeting to brand me an arrogant, egotistical know-it-all, when all I'm simply trying to do a lot of time time is find a way to talk to them that DOESN'T make them feel that way. Employers and fellow employees have been this way - they ask a question they think has a simple answer and it doesn't, and you mentally organize it to make sense as you talk, but they STILL don't get it, so you go into metaphor and analogy to explain it, and by that point they think you're a longwinded and boring nerd whom they just wish would shut up.

You know, like you felt reading that last sentence.

[Kearley65]

	Originally Posted by Jiskya To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I hate being awkward (maybe just me)...I hate how often others judge us (again maybe just me) and never take the time to get to know us...

I agree with these points here. I hate how I struggle to fit in but at the same time all it takes is that other people just take the time of day to get to know me and realize who I really am. About two months ago two of my friends tell me that they like me for who I am because I am real and can be trusted no matter what. That meant a lot coming from two guys that are not in my close friends but are good friends that I hang with. I will say that I am starting to beat these feelings because I am becoming more and more comfortable with who I am. I also developed a philosophy that has helped me a lot, "If someone does not like me for who I am and/or is not willing to go out of their way to try and get to know me, then I do not need that person in my life and I am most likely better off without them." I also have developed the philosophy to try and always see the positives in things instead of trying to see the negatives. To quote Donald Sutherland in Kelly's Heroes "Why don't you knock it off with them negative waves? Why don't you dig how beautiful it is out here? Why don't you say something righteous and hopeful for a change?"

[Eyedears]

	Originally Posted by leafylampshade To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	feeling like I'm an alien.

Yah, this.
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And not having been born ESFP.

[troi]

	Originally Posted by Nomatterwhat To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	i dont like learning everything so quickly then getting bored because its too easy, feeling like im doing whatever im doing is a waste of time because its easy.

This forum is so validating for me!

I actually once got in trouble in class for finishing the assignment too early while everyone else struggled. The instructor brought me to the department head for a little chat. They asked why I thought I was there; I said maybe they were going to congratulate me for doing well. They took that as arrogance on my part. I sincerely did not comprehend why I was in trouble.

	Originally Posted by Nomatterwhat To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Which lead me to pursue a sales career after 10 years spent in IT related jobs. I believe if i make people my job, everyone i meet will become my new job, i ll have to analyze them,break them down,put them back together and eventually develop the approach i need to win them over therefor close the sale and help them.

I once found myself in a psychological sort of job so I stuck with it for a while. @ first I was fascinated by everything people did/said because it was all so different than me. Once I figured out how people tick, I lost total interest in listening to their problems and all the emotions that go with it. I now sympathize with a broad spectrum of problems people have, even self-induced, and I know more about how to honor different types of personalities. But I'm not interested in emoting with them.
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[X51]

	Originally Posted by leafylampshade To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	the feeling like I'm an alien.

This and the realization that no one will ever get close enough to me so I can truly be open. I am fine with what I am, the isolation is fine, the emotional silence gets very loud at times. I can handle it, but I just don't want to.

[GSOgymrat]

I fear I am essentially self-centered. I strive to be considerate and put the needs of others before my own but when push comes to shove I revert to thinking about myself. I see other INTJs who are wrapped up in themselves and it disturbs me because it mirrors my own character flaw.

[MissBoPeep]

I don't hate anything about being an INTJ. By the time I found out I was an INTJ, I already became aware of my quirks and already became okay with who I was. That may sound like a load of bullshit, but I went through my fair share of teenage angst when I was younger. I'm good at "faking" extroversion, so maybe that's why. I'm ok with who I am. It's hard to make friends as an INTJ if you're actually looking, but if you try you definitely can. Very easily too. People think that you just have so much knowledge to give them. And that you have so much insight into possibilities they'd never have seen. So cheer up. If they believe you're arrogant, practice humility. Just remember, you can always make friends if you try.

. . . Why am I typing up this pep talk what-is-this? Came to me in the middle of my rambling. xD

[Rovin]

	Originally Posted by troi To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I actually once got in trouble in class for finishing the assignment too early while everyone else struggled. The instructor brought me to the department head for a little chat. They asked why I thought I was there; I said maybe they were going to congratulate me for doing well. They took that as arrogance on my part. I sincerely did not comprehend why I was in trouble.

What?!? What logic lead them to think finishing the assignment EARLY was a bad thing? What was the reasoning behind that belief, if you don't mind me asking?

[INTJlove]

I hate that I sometimes want to socialize with others, go out and hang out. But something is just stopping me, I don't know what it is. I guess I don't know how to spend time with other people, what to do, what to talk, so I just stay at home with my beloved computer. Also I don't feel at home when speaking to another person, I just don't know what am I supposed to say when there is nothing to say, it gets awkward.
Also in class I see everyone just talking and joking around (not sure if that's the phrase since I am not american/british, but it sounds like a phrase
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), boys hugging girls and tizing each other, when I do that it just doesn't feel natural.
And the impression I already made in class is an impression of a cold-guy who doesn't speak much, speaks silently and stuff like that. So when I try to do somthing "normal" it is weird for me and for others, so it get awkward.