How can you tell when an INTJ is in love?

**Sparko** · 05-06-2012, 11:21 PM

If someone were to observe you from afar, what are the telltale signs that you are in the company of someone you are in love with?

**BuShinJu** · 05-06-2012, 11:32 PM

*sparkle eyes*

*wandering hands* (if we are together)

*ear to ear grin* (if the attraction is receiprocated)

**Lilie** · 05-07-2012, 12:03 AM

Crush/beginning of a relationship: Standing awkwardly and looking real nervous.

In a relationship: ?

**Disillusioned** · 05-07-2012, 01:01 AM

You can't

**superflax** · 05-07-2012, 01:31 AM

Our actions no longer make sense and we don't know why we do them, we just do.

**Samoan Corleone** · 05-07-2012, 01:41 AM

When valuable time usually spent levelling up their player character and trolling vBulletins in their parents' basement is spent on you. Also, if they shower and brush their teeth before meeting you, it means they're going the extra mile to make an impression. Don't be alarmed if you can only detect they've done one of those things; it just means they don't want to come off as trying too hard.

**KelvinDjangoTeo** · 05-07-2012, 01:48 AM

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---------- Post added 05-07-2012 at 04:54 PM ----------

Intjs do not start by falling in love. We are interested in you, we get to know you, then we start to fall in love with you. (at least, this is me)

**Halknet** · 05-07-2012, 04:15 AM

I try to figure out what type the prospect is. That is if I don't just ask them to take "a quick quiz for personal improvement." then I plan from there
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**catzmeow** · 05-07-2012, 07:32 AM

They tolerate your presence for extended periods of time.
They take it upon themselves to fix things for you, without being asked.
They offer you advice on your issues, with the goal of being helpful.
They ask for input on their decisions.
They make arrangements to be near you on a regular basis.

Cooper · 05-07-2012, 08:20 AM

	Originally Posted by catzmeow To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	They tolerate your presence for extended periods of time. They take it upon themselves to fix things for you, without being asked. They offer you advice on your issues, with the goal of being helpful. They ask for input on their decisions. They make arrangements to be near you on a regular basis.

...and

We talk to you beyond grunts and growls.
Will actually answer your questions instead of just looking at you like you are some kind of idiot.
Let you into our house.
Attempt to use some resemblance of social graces.

**SacrificialLove** · 05-07-2012, 08:48 AM

	Originally Posted by Sparko To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	If someone were to observe you from afar, what are the telltale signs that you are in the company of someone you are in love with?

There aren't any overt signs. Coming from the INTJ, of course.
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However, since he's with me, it's obvious because I touch him, I smile, I stand close to him, and I call him, "Honey." During this time, he doesn't recoil or create physical distance, he smiles back, and he answers to the affectionate names I have for him. This is all in public places. It's more obvious at home; he can be quite playful in his own charmingly sarcastic way.

**catzmeow** · 05-07-2012, 10:00 AM

	Originally Posted by Cooper To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	...and We talk to you beyond grunts and growls. Will actually answer your questions instead of just looking at you like you are some kind of idiot. Let you into our house. Attempt to use some resemblance of social graces.

....and

they let you see them naked.
they occasionally laugh at your stupid jokes (although they realize they're funnier)
they introduce you to their family.
they'll occasionally tell you what they're thinking.

**unchained** · 05-07-2012, 10:21 AM

Yeah, I end up becoming some what of a 'sucker', and end up doing a lot of things that I normally wouldn't consider. I end up not having a problem with it either. Most of these hit the nail on the head. I think it's more so the younger they are, and if they do not develop enough social skills outside of their comfort zone. Nowadays I end up just telling women I do like them, because I know for a fact it's hard for them to know.

**vampyroteuthis** · 05-07-2012, 10:36 AM

They know your habits and preferences, including those you haven't noticed.

**Canopus** · 05-07-2012, 10:47 AM

you can tell an INTJ is in love: by doing an autopsy?

That way one can identify can brain changes or anomalies.

**SacrificialLove** · 05-07-2012, 10:57 AM

	Originally Posted by catzmeow To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	they'll occasionally tell you what they're thinking.

...without being probed.
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**changos** · 05-07-2012, 01:07 PM

We give ourselves to whoever we choose to, most people can't deal with this fact, that the best of us is not on sale or to be "just given a way". We are open books, just not to be read in public by just anyone, ha, most can't get this concept.

**WarPath** · 05-07-2012, 03:16 PM

The INTJ I very recently got into a relationship with is calling our experience "surreal." He also keeps stating how easy this relationship has been. He has had some challenging ones in the past. He talks about kids, finances, and the future. He first stated the idea that he wanted to wait till marriage for sex, because he hadn't done it in the past and wished he had. I agreed for the same reasons. Then it changed to "we need to be in love" to have sex and be planning marriage. Then days later he is saying he thinks we are ready for sex. Does that mean he is in love or just warming up to the idea? We have only been together for about two months, and it recently got much more intense.

**Sparko** · 05-07-2012, 06:59 PM

It's amazing how subtle all of the signs are. It's as if nothing can really change he outward composure of an INTJ. I say nothing because being in-love is probably one of the most intense emotions a human being can feel.

I'm not sure if my INTJ is in-love with me or not. We don't talk about our feelings much. But I have noticed the following subtle shifts as of late:

- Less argumentative and judgmental/more agreeable and easygoing.
- Spends long hours with me without having to step away or "re-charge" (sometimes 24 hours with little break).
- Seems more sensitive to my needs.
- Spends time with me while shopping/with friends/working. Doesn't seem to mind.
- Smiles more, chuckles at my jokes (reminds me of your guy, Catzmeow
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- Seems to prefer spending time with me over time reading/contemplating.

Lol, it makes me laugh to think that these might be indications that a person might be in-love. Maybe they are not. But judging from everyone's response, they may very well be!

**vampyroteuthis** · 05-07-2012, 07:03 PM

Shit, I just noticed the OP asked about signs seen "from afar". Lovers sat apart still shift and turn towards each other.

I think this is also more of a question about how you can see love, set apart from like, affection, etc. And I'm not sure there is a way, or that it's all that clear. Maybe it has to be taken on trust. Damn, I'm slow today.

Cooper · 05-07-2012, 07:22 PM

	Originally Posted by catzmeow To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	....and they let you see them naked. they occasionally laugh at your stupid jokes (although they realize they're funnier) they introduce you to their family. they'll occasionally tell you what they're thinking.

....and

answer the phone when you call (check caller ID).
talk to for more then what is necessary.
actually text you.
listen to you as you explain how we completely missed that social cue you just hit us upside the head with.

See me naked? Introduce you to my family? Thats some serious shit there....

**Ice Wolf** · 05-08-2012, 11:27 AM

Exhibits symptoms usually associated with variety of mental impairment medical states. Such as: involuntary muscle contractions (e.g. outbursts of smiling or even giggling), severe oversimplification of phenomena (e.g. flowers reduce from fascinating proof of genetic optimization into mere "beautiful"), drawing bizarre mental connections ( e.g. comparison of mate's eyes with natural gravity-contained fusion reactors), losing sense of reality (e.g. he might consider life as beautiful).

**Muse** · 05-08-2012, 11:35 AM

Close proximity (stands next to her a lot).

Very observant and attentive.

Lots of smiling, laughing, joking.

Physical contact.

**zibber** · 05-08-2012, 11:40 AM

Lingering eye contact.

	Originally Posted by Samoan Corleone To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	When valuable time usually spent levelling up their player character and trolling vBulletins in their parents' basement is spent on you. Also, if they shower and brush their teeth before meeting you, it means they're going the extra mile to make an impression. Don't be alarmed if you can only detect they've done one of those things; it just means they don't want to come off as trying too hard.

Hahah!

When they suddenly start styling their hair, wear new clothes that they seem uncomfortable in and awkwardly throw out lines
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.

ManWithNoName · 05-08-2012, 11:42 AM

	Originally Posted by Sparko To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	It's amazing how subtle all of the signs are. It's as if nothing can really change he outward composure of an INTJ. I say nothing because being in-love is probably one of the most intense emotions a human being can feel.

We're introverted so we're naturally oriented more towards inner psychological landscape and internal things rather than external things and on top of it as a kind of a double whammy we are Introverted Intuitives. Introverted Intuition is the only function that doesn't really require any external stimulus at all in order to work, or produce perceptions or realizations. External reality helps prove or disprove our perceptions, realizations, and thoughts, but isn't technically needed to evoke them.

I'm not sure if my INTJ is in-love with me or not. We don't talk about our feelings much. But I have noticed the following subtle shifts as of late:

- Less argumentative and judgmental/more agreeable and easygoing.
- Spends long hours with me without having to step away or "re-charge" (sometimes 24 hours with little break).
- Seems more sensitive to my needs.
- Spends time with me while shopping/with friends/working. Doesn't seem to mind.
- Smiles more, chuckles at my jokes (reminds me of your guy, Catzmeow
To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

- Seems to prefer spending time with me over time reading/contemplating.

Lol, it makes me laugh to think that these might be indications that a person might be in-love. Maybe they are not. But judging from everyone's response, they may very well be!

It sounds like he's integrating you into his life and inner reality and internal model of the world and how it functions where you are a discrete and important factor and object in his internal reality.

Things are going good.
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05-06-2012, 11:21 PM	#1
Sparko Member [06%] MBTI: ENFP Join Date: Aug 2010 Posts: 245	If someone were to observe you from afar, what are the telltale signs that you are in the company of someone you are in love with?
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05-06-2012, 11:32 PM	#2
BuShinJu Member [43%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 1,734	sparkle eyes wandering hands (if we are together) ear to ear grin (if the attraction is receiprocated)
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05-07-2012, 12:03 AM	#3
Lilie Member [29%] MBTI: INtJ Join Date: Apr 2012 Posts: 1,163	Crush/beginning of a relationship: Standing awkwardly and looking real nervous. In a relationship: ?
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05-07-2012, 01:01 AM	#4
Disillusioned Member [27%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Jun 2010 Posts: 1,102	You can't
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05-07-2012, 01:31 AM	#5
superflax Member [33%] MBTI: ENFJ Join Date: Jan 2012 Posts: 1,335	Our actions no longer make sense and we don't know why we do them, we just do.
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05-07-2012, 01:41 AM	#6
Samoan Corleone Core Member [151%] MBTI: INxJ Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 6,078	When valuable time usually spent levelling up their player character and trolling vBulletins in their parents' basement is spent on you. Also, if they shower and brush their teeth before meeting you, it means they're going the extra mile to make an impression. Don't be alarmed if you can only detect they've done one of those things; it just means they don't want to come off as trying too hard.
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05-07-2012, 01:48 AM	#7
KelvinDjangoTeo Member [09%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Jan 2012 Posts: 389	To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. ---------- Post added 05-07-2012 at 04:54 PM ---------- Intjs do not start by falling in love. We are interested in you, we get to know you, then we start to fall in love with you. (at least, this is me)
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05-07-2012, 04:15 AM	#8
Halknet New Member [01%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 17	I try to figure out what type the prospect is. That is if I don't just ask them to take "a quick quiz for personal improvement." then I plan from there To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
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05-07-2012, 07:32 AM	#9
catzmeow Core Member [148%] MBTI: ENFP Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 5,949	They tolerate your presence for extended periods of time. They take it upon themselves to fix things for you, without being asked. They offer you advice on your issues, with the goal of being helpful. They ask for input on their decisions. They make arrangements to be near you on a regular basis.
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05-07-2012, 10:21 AM	#13
unchained Member [02%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 103	Yeah, I end up becoming some what of a 'sucker', and end up doing a lot of things that I normally wouldn't consider. I end up not having a problem with it either. Most of these hit the nail on the head. I think it's more so the younger they are, and if they do not develop enough social skills outside of their comfort zone. Nowadays I end up just telling women I do like them, because I know for a fact it's hard for them to know.
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05-07-2012, 10:36 AM	#14
vampyroteuthis Core Member [181%] MBTI: INTP Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 7,272	They know your habits and preferences, including those you haven't noticed. Last edited by vampyroteuthis; 05-07-2012 at 07:03 PM. Reason: nah, just going to make a new one
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05-07-2012, 10:47 AM	#15
Canopus Member [03%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Feb 2012 Posts: 158	you can tell an INTJ is in love: by doing an autopsy? That way one can identify can brain changes or anomalies. Last edited by Canopus; 05-07-2012 at 11:51 AM.
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05-07-2012, 01:07 PM	#17
changos Member [48%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 1,944	We give ourselves to whoever we choose to, most people can't deal with this fact, that the best of us is not on sale or to be "just given a way". We are open books, just not to be read in public by just anyone, ha, most can't get this concept.
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05-07-2012, 03:16 PM	#18
WarPath New Member [01%] MBTI: ENFJ Join Date: Jan 2011 Posts: 14	The INTJ I very recently got into a relationship with is calling our experience "surreal." He also keeps stating how easy this relationship has been. He has had some challenging ones in the past. He talks about kids, finances, and the future. He first stated the idea that he wanted to wait till marriage for sex, because he hadn't done it in the past and wished he had. I agreed for the same reasons. Then it changed to "we need to be in love" to have sex and be planning marriage. Then days later he is saying he thinks we are ready for sex. Does that mean he is in love or just warming up to the idea? We have only been together for about two months, and it recently got much more intense.
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05-07-2012, 06:59 PM	#19
Sparko Member [06%] MBTI: ENFP Join Date: Aug 2010 Posts: 245	It's amazing how subtle all of the signs are. It's as if nothing can really change he outward composure of an INTJ. I say nothing because being in-love is probably one of the most intense emotions a human being can feel. I'm not sure if my INTJ is in-love with me or not. We don't talk about our feelings much. But I have noticed the following subtle shifts as of late: - Less argumentative and judgmental/more agreeable and easygoing. - Spends long hours with me without having to step away or "re-charge" (sometimes 24 hours with little break). - Seems more sensitive to my needs. - Spends time with me while shopping/with friends/working. Doesn't seem to mind. - Smiles more, chuckles at my jokes (reminds me of your guy, Catzmeow To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. - Seems to prefer spending time with me over time reading/contemplating. Lol, it makes me laugh to think that these might be indications that a person might be in-love. Maybe they are not. But judging from everyone's response, they may very well be!
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05-07-2012, 07:03 PM	#20
vampyroteuthis Core Member [181%] MBTI: INTP Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 7,272	Shit, I just noticed the OP asked about signs seen "from afar". Lovers sat apart still shift and turn towards each other. I think this is also more of a question about how you can see love, set apart from like, affection, etc. And I'm not sure there is a way, or that it's all that clear. Maybe it has to be taken on trust. Damn, I'm slow today.
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05-08-2012, 11:27 AM	#22
Ice Wolf Member [09%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 371	Exhibits symptoms usually associated with variety of mental impairment medical states. Such as: involuntary muscle contractions (e.g. outbursts of smiling or even giggling), severe oversimplification of phenomena (e.g. flowers reduce from fascinating proof of genetic optimization into mere "beautiful"), drawing bizarre mental connections ( e.g. comparison of mate's eyes with natural gravity-contained fusion reactors), losing sense of reality (e.g. he might consider life as beautiful).
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05-08-2012, 11:35 AM	#23
Muse Veteran Member [84%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Jul 2010 Posts: 3,392	Close proximity (stands next to her a lot). Very observant and attentive. Lots of smiling, laughing, joking. Physical contact.
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