Being Called "Cute"

**daedalus6174** · 05-06-2012, 06:58 PM

I hate it. It feels like a diminutive.

Talk sense into me?

-----
Reflections post-response:

Thank you for all your thoughts.

I've always intellectually understood that "cute" is essentially a compliment and that it shouldn't really bother me.

But at a gut level, I find it frustrating for someone to find me attractive in a way that I don't think describes me well. I pride myself on my intelligence and seriousness, and I feel like being called "cute" strips me of that in a very immediate way.

It's quite illogical of me to think this. But I definitely feel as thought I am being slighted at times. When someone says "cute", I seem to hear, "Oh that's very well that you're serious and hardworking and intelligent, but ultimately you're just a naive teddy bear."


	Deliberator It's not diminutive or emasculating. It's a compliment. You're a human being after all; what, do you think that in order to be attractive you have to look like an unsmiling greek god 100% of the time? Gimme a break.

Thank you for your candidness. I suppose that yes, at some level, that's what I think. That's probably unhealthy isn't it?


	Thinker If you don't like it you're going to have to give people a copy of "The guidebook to daedalus6174"..... otherwise your'e the anomaly....

I am working on one. Only half joking.


	Zodd ^that makes you even cuter. always so cute when cute people don't like being called cute

Now that's just provocative.


	Selene It's just an adjective, a word. Nothing more can be done with it except receiving with grace for whatever its worth.

That's very good advice, thank you.

**modulus** · 05-06-2012, 07:08 PM

	Originally Posted by daedalus6174 To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I hate it. It feels like a diminutive.

I agree completely, it seems like a backhanded way of saying you're not attractive.

**CrudeHypothesis** · 05-06-2012, 07:11 PM

It's actually the most common compliment I get, and I'm male.

**True Rune** · 05-06-2012, 07:17 PM

If a girl says it, it pretty much means she thinks you're attractive.

**WindUp** · 05-06-2012, 07:18 PM

It kind of implies a lack of sexuality/sexual attraction sometimes.

EDIT: It can also just mean they think you're cute.
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**Silverity** · 05-06-2012, 07:20 PM

Depends on context... have you any context to share, OP?

**curiousgeorge01** · 05-06-2012, 07:21 PM

I think it depends on how shes says it, is it "you're CuuUte!" or "aww that's cute." I think the first implies "I want you" and the second is "you're like a little brother."

**MyotisLucifugus** · 05-06-2012, 07:23 PM

I can't remember if the adjective I used was "cute" or "adorable," but while sitting on the couch watching a movie with a guy I used to date I accidentally said it. Well, it wasn't accidental, as it was true (and I was highly attracted to him), but the reaction I received was far from what I'd been expecting. Had I known, I wouldn't have said it, even though he was absolutely adorable (and likely still is).

I never thought I'd be told off by my own boyfriend for something like that, but I was. Now, when the urge comes up, I have to bite my tongue and try searching for something else to say.

**CrudeHypothesis** · 05-06-2012, 07:24 PM

Every time it's been the girl staring into my eyes and saying "you're cute" or "you have cute eyes". Wait, that meant they were attracted?! I can't believe that flew over my head all this time!

---------- Post added 05-07-2012 at 12:27 PM ----------

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**Archer** · 05-06-2012, 07:52 PM

If it's a compliment take it as a compliment. Next time maybe say "Thanks your adorable."

**roninpro** · 05-06-2012, 08:03 PM

I've been described as cute several times - I believe that females tend to use it kind of offhandedly, kind of in the same way one would call the sky blue. I don't put much stock in that phrase at this point.

**Deliberator** · 05-06-2012, 08:07 PM

	Originally Posted by daedalus6174 To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I hate it. It feels like a diminutive. Talk sense into me?

It's not diminutive or emasculating. It's a compliment. You're a human being after all; what, do you think that in order to be attractive you have to look like an unsmiling greek god 100% of the time? Gimme a break.

To me, when I call a guy cute it's because the way that he looks/acts/talks/gestures makes little hearts come out of my head. I'd much rather go for a guy I find cute than a guy who is very "objectively" handsome but has no cute factor to him.

**Distance** · 05-06-2012, 08:07 PM

Oh yeah, all my life! It's annoying.

**CrudeHypothesis** · 05-06-2012, 08:09 PM

Think of it this way, it's embarrasing for her to say you're attractive.

cute implies general attractiveness
attractive implies attractive to her

**Nemesis** · 05-06-2012, 08:11 PM

It's a compliment, dammit.

Damned kids, these days. All clueless and shi... *grumbles*

**Distance** · 05-06-2012, 08:17 PM

Oh damn, you're male.

If a girl tells you she thinks you're cute, it does mean she considers you attractive. It's much like the usage of Coke to encompass all soft drinks. Weird but true.

**deconspire** · 05-06-2012, 08:18 PM

Seriously....compliment. It is just a different kinda adjective, man.

I am all up for some "cute". That's what I like. If I said you were cute, it would mean I was attracted to you. Guy/girl, whatever, same difference. So there.

*grumbles*

**Thinker** · 05-06-2012, 08:21 PM

If you don't like it you're going to have to give people a copy of "The guidebook to daedalus6174"..... otherwise your'e the anomaly....

**Cincinnatus** · 05-06-2012, 08:42 PM

Yeah, I've gotten "cute" as in "aww, I'll never take you home, but you're actually great company!" ^.^

mmmmooootherFUUUUU----

Do not like.

**BlackOp** · 05-06-2012, 11:25 PM

Better than being told you're hideous....I'm more attracted to women who are cute rather than pretty.

**jenuwin** · 05-07-2012, 01:02 AM

I find it extremely weird when people imply that I have a cute personality. I think it's FAR from cute (not that I'm weird or something but cute is just not something you would use to describe me). I start to feel iffy about that person because he/she is obviously just throwing out compliments or something for the hell of it... so I get the vibe that he/she's not very genuine.

**Lilie** · 05-07-2012, 01:13 AM

Originally Posted by MyotisLucifugus
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I can't remember if the adjective I used was "cute" or "adorable," but while sitting on the couch watching a movie with a guy I used to date I accidentally said it. Well, it wasn't accidental, as it was true (and I was highly attracted to him), but the reaction I received was far from what I'd been expecting. Had I known, I wouldn't have said it, even though he was absolutely adorable (and likely still is).

I never thought I'd be told off by my own boyfriend for something like that, but I was. Now, when the urge comes up, I have to bite my tongue and try searching for something else to say.

I had a similar experience, way back in high school. I also try to avoid the word cute now even though to me it means "I have warm feelings for you based on your appearance" and handsome, good-looking, attractive, none of those really convey what I mean. Those are all so neutral, like "I observe that you meet the general standard of attractiveness upheld within our society. Good work, soldier."

**Zodd** · 05-07-2012, 01:50 AM

	Originally Posted by Silverity To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Depends on context... have you any context to share, OP?

You are cute. I remember that picture of you were you are watching an icehockey game were you wear this glittery green icehockey shirt and some funky hat and there were 2 men with you.

Then I read that you said you hated it being called cute so much because you heard it at least once a week or something, but then you learned too appreciate it.

Some women can be cute and sexy. So I think calling a girl cute is the same like saying she has blue eyes or whatever.

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---------- Post added 05-07-2012 at 10:54 AM ----------

And pretty much all Asians look cute.

**True Rune** · 05-07-2012, 02:29 AM

Pretty but with a whimsical touch?

**MissionPossible** · 05-07-2012, 02:36 AM

	Originally Posted by daedalus6174 To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I hate it. It feels like a diminutive. Talk sense into me?

I am sorry that you hate it, but the meanings of the words or why people call someone cute instead of handsome or beautiful or lovely isn;t going to change just because you hate it. Cute means attractive in a fun and youthful way, whereas beautiful and handsome mean attractive in a more serious and strong way. Both meanings have their positive values.

Good-looking or attractive are used for both meanings.

---------- Post added 05-07-2012 at 01:38 AM ----------

	Originally Posted by True Rune To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Pretty but with a whimsical touch?

Ha! I like that explanation of "cute"!

05-06-2012, 07:11 PM	#3
CrudeHypothesis Veteran Member [74%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Sep 2011 Posts: 2,999	It's actually the most common compliment I get, and I'm male.
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05-06-2012, 07:17 PM	#4
True Rune Core Member [200%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 8,022	If a girl says it, it pretty much means she thinks you're attractive.
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05-06-2012, 07:18 PM	#5
WindUp Member [22%] MBTI: INfJ Join Date: Jun 2011 Posts: 903	It kind of implies a lack of sexuality/sexual attraction sometimes. EDIT: It can also just mean they think you're cute. To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Last edited by WindUp; 05-06-2012 at 11:23 PM.
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05-06-2012, 07:20 PM	#6
Silverity Core Member [274%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 10,995	Depends on context... have you any context to share, OP?
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05-06-2012, 07:21 PM	#7
curiousgeorge01 Core Member [117%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 4,694	I think it depends on how shes says it, is it "you're CuuUte!" or "aww that's cute." I think the first implies "I want you" and the second is "you're like a little brother."
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05-06-2012, 07:23 PM	#8
MyotisLucifugus Member [17%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: May 2011 Posts: 712	I can't remember if the adjective I used was "cute" or "adorable," but while sitting on the couch watching a movie with a guy I used to date I accidentally said it. Well, it wasn't accidental, as it was true (and I was highly attracted to him), but the reaction I received was far from what I'd been expecting. Had I known, I wouldn't have said it, even though he was absolutely adorable (and likely still is). I never thought I'd be told off by my own boyfriend for something like that, but I was. Now, when the urge comes up, I have to bite my tongue and try searching for something else to say.
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05-06-2012, 07:24 PM	#9
CrudeHypothesis Veteran Member [74%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Sep 2011 Posts: 2,999	Every time it's been the girl staring into my eyes and saying "you're cute" or "you have cute eyes". Wait, that meant they were attracted?! I can't believe that flew over my head all this time! ---------- Post added 05-07-2012 at 12:27 PM ---------- [HIDE="show image"] To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. [/HIDE] Last edited by RedOrange823; 05-06-2012 at 09:15 PM. Reason: rule 8
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05-06-2012, 07:52 PM	#10
Archer New Member [01%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Apr 2012 Posts: 59	If it's a compliment take it as a compliment. Next time maybe say "Thanks your adorable."
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05-06-2012, 08:03 PM	#11
roninpro Member [12%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Apr 2010 Posts: 496	I've been described as cute several times - I believe that females tend to use it kind of offhandedly, kind of in the same way one would call the sky blue. I don't put much stock in that phrase at this point.
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05-06-2012, 08:07 PM	#13
Distance Core Member [410%] MBTI: eNTj Join Date: Apr 2010 Posts: 16,437	Oh yeah, all my life! It's annoying.
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05-06-2012, 08:09 PM	#14
CrudeHypothesis Veteran Member [74%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Sep 2011 Posts: 2,999	Think of it this way, it's embarrasing for her to say you're attractive. cute implies general attractiveness attractive implies attractive to her
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05-06-2012, 08:11 PM	#15
Nemesis Core Member [304%] MBTI: XXXX Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 12,191	It's a compliment, dammit. Damned kids, these days. All clueless and shi... grumbles
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05-06-2012, 08:17 PM	#16
Distance Core Member [410%] MBTI: eNTj Join Date: Apr 2010 Posts: 16,437	Oh damn, you're male. If a girl tells you she thinks you're cute, it does mean she considers you attractive. It's much like the usage of Coke to encompass all soft drinks. Weird but true.
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05-06-2012, 08:18 PM	#17
deconspire Core Member [187%] MBTI: INTP Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 7,489	Seriously....compliment. It is just a different kinda adjective, man. I am all up for some "cute". That's what I like. If I said you were cute, it would mean I was attracted to you. Guy/girl, whatever, same difference. So there. grumbles
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05-06-2012, 08:21 PM	#18
Thinker Core Member [117%] MBTI: INTj Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 4,685	If you don't like it you're going to have to give people a copy of "The guidebook to daedalus6174"..... otherwise your'e the anomaly....
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05-06-2012, 08:42 PM	#19
Cincinnatus Core Member [178%] MBTI: ENTJ Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 7,144	Yeah, I've gotten "cute" as in "aww, I'll never take you home, but you're actually great company!" ^.^ mmmmooootherFUUUUU---- Do not like.
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05-06-2012, 11:25 PM	#20
BlackOp Veteran Member [78%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 3,154	Better than being told you're hideous....I'm more attracted to women who are cute rather than pretty.
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05-07-2012, 01:02 AM	#21
jenuwin Member [03%] MBTI: InTJ Join Date: Jan 2011 Posts: 150	I find it extremely weird when people imply that I have a cute personality. I think it's FAR from cute (not that I'm weird or something but cute is just not something you would use to describe me). I start to feel iffy about that person because he/she is obviously just throwing out compliments or something for the hell of it... so I get the vibe that he/she's not very genuine.
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05-07-2012, 02:29 AM	#24
True Rune Core Member [200%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 8,022	Pretty but with a whimsical touch?
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