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What are INTJs like as teenagers and children? children, intj traits
Old 10-27-2007, 07:29 PM   #26
cielo market
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Question: Even though we all know that INTJs were perfect angels...
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What were you guys usually scolded for as a child?

I had a habit of disecting my toys, and trying to make my own. I can remember my mother saying this phrase at least twice a week: "Ayy niņa, tu y tus inventos!". Translated, it means "Ohh little girl, you and your inventions!"

:
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Old 10-27-2007, 08:37 PM   #27
thegnat
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Things I've been yelled at/given shit for my whole life, I was never just "scolded":
not being social/being shy
handwriting (guyish)
losing tennis matches/playing like shit
not caring about fashion
not liking to shop
not wearing my contacts enough
not wearing make up (once i got it)
not having a boyfriend
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Old 10-27-2007, 08:50 PM   #28
cielo market
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  Originally Posted by thegnat
not being social/being shy

I've had to deal with this as well. I recall during middle school, I once asked my mom if I could go to the movies with some classmates. Her face lit up like a Christmas tree as she enthusiastically said "Yes! Yes, please!"


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Old 10-27-2007, 09:28 PM   #29
Iannus Quirinus
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  Originally Posted by cielo market
Question: Even though we all know that INTJs were perfect angels...
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What were you guys usually scolded for as a child?

I had a habit of disecting my toys, and trying to make my own. I can remember my mother saying this phrase at least twice a week: "Ayy niņa, tu y tus inventos!". Translated, it means "Ohh little girl, you and your inventions!"

:
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that's why I loved my lego blocks. :D

  Originally Posted by jtskinner
if I could have an IQ of 200 and be left alone to do research to benefit society(oddly enough).

shhh, don't tell anyone, but I still dream about that.
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that's why I'm in college for physics. the human society just seems sooooo unorganized to me, and they (we? xD) look like we could use a good intj's (=god's) touch and inventions to help us.
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don't worry about your iq. iq is a bad bad thing, it doesn't say much. (though you shouldn't completely discard it either) if you really wanna increase your abilites/intelect, just engage in a lot of different acitivites (go take lessons for a new language, sports, dancing, reading, socializing with people, etc.), stimulate your body and brain. that worked for me at least.



as a kid I was very shy, but generally very nice towards people - too nice to tell the truth (so I suffered a lot of times for that).
I had this idea that I *must* be on good terms with everyone (or be their friend), so I had enough friends.
all the kids would make fun of me and tease me to death (bullying), so I really hated that - it traumatised me and increased my introverted side. I did solve much of that bullying later.

I absolutely loved beeing alone and playing by myself, prefferably in my imaginative world. but I did socialize enough. I guess people did find me a bit weird, but that's mostly becouse of my shyness, rather than anything else. (well I did look like a zombie - very very pale and skinny - I like to think I'm above avereage looking now
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)

I got a bit more open in high school, I had a burst of intelligence in the second year of high school together with increase of ability in all fields of my person, that was really plesant (I still think that I was way more intelligent and everything than I am now; that was probably becouse I had *a lot* of activites that tickeled my brain and body, and made an absolutely great use of my abilites) and later on when I got to college, I changed a lot (to the better), especially becouse I study physics, so there's plenty of people there that are much worse than me at all the "social" things and stuff. and I guess the new surrounding, having to take care of myself and college put my intj skills at work again, so it all "clicked" pretty well.

trough all my childhood, I had the great luck that all my physics/math/chemistry teachers were exceptional, and I really love them for that. they helped my develop and use my mind and helped me towards my dream of becoming a scientist, and I'm eternally grateful to them.


could write a lot more, but this seems a bit off topic, as it's ressembling more my life story than my childhood. but yeah, I'm borderline T/F and J/P, so I guess there could be some difference.

heh, a long post sry.
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Old 10-27-2007, 11:40 PM   #30
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I am probably the one intj who went through hell due to his personality issue.

I was a highly gifted child that no one cared about. A child that know one knew why he hid him self from the world. A child who did not know the meaning of love, could never be able to show it. A child who was told that he did every thing wrong in school( My 3rd grade teacher ripped up all my work that i completed due to the fact i knew what i was doing. Finished all the home work in every book i got within the first 2 months of school) A kid who spiraled into heavy depression, knew of suicide since the age of 8. A teenage who had no one to turn to. A teenage that was thrown into a mental institution cause a doctor thought this teenage had schizophrenia. A teenage and a child who was thrown away to be disregarded. That was my past and all i can do is use what i can from it to push my self further. Man that brings back memories of all the damn freaking drugs that doctor gave me and what they did to me. What kind of doctor gives a teenager, drugs that are not recommended for people under 18 or even ones that are notreally out there for general use. O well last i heard that doctor has severe cancer and i couldnt be more elated
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Old 10-30-2007, 12:14 AM   #31
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I was an odd child - and disappointed my parents. I was shy, read constantly, and had an addiction to history and constant learning. I read history books and made notes (and this was not for class - this was on my own). They thought I should be a "normal teenager" and look forward to the prom, etc. They also thought it was odd that I loved learning about the universe, atoms, and the microbial world. I was also always arguing politics with my father, who was a Democrat. I couldn't understand how he could vote for those people. He had taught us hard work, personal responsibility, etc., and he voted for socialists! I could never understand that type of thinking. I wasn't rebellious, just a rational thinker.
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Old 10-30-2007, 02:17 AM   #32
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I've posted a little bit about this before but I'd like to go into it some more. Since being a twin is so utterly defining in itself, one's own personality seems secondary to the "big picture" of the twin couplet. Growing up that was the truth, today its slowly washing away.
I was adament about having seperate friends from her. To her dismay, I guarded my group jealously and showed no pity towards her diminished circle in middle school. Ironically my need for approval in middle school (which ofcourse was at some level considering the age) was no where near her desperation to fit in and to not be seen with so little friends. But as it worked out, I was strategic about gaining friends, while she was emotional and invested in her friends (she therefore keeps up with many people from K-12 while I've dropped almost everyone).
Then to highschool, slowly I relented to incorporating her into my group. What has seemed so illogical all this time was my desperation for my own friends- but as I view it from an INTJ perspective, it was really the desire for my independence from her (and, I think, friends were the status symbol from her emphasis, not my own). And that is probably the root for all of my anger and frustration with her because I was especially frustrated to be aligned with an ENFP.
So my childhood cannot be seperated from my views of who I was in relation to who she was. I think our mutual friends viewed me as coldhearted and edgy and her as a true friend who understands and cares for people.
An interesting point was brought up earlier about grades vs. comprehension. I can definitely relate- I got mostly high scores for HS math exams but never did/turned in homework which always left me with low B's.
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Old 10-30-2007, 06:12 AM   #33
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As a child, I felt different from others. I needed very much to be emotionally validated by my parents. Didnt help that my brother, one year older than me always got the attention.

I would wish that I would enter to a entirely different world whereby people understood me(very much like this forum) every time I leave the cubicle of my school's toilet.

I did not know what to do during break times. I would pretend that my shoes were untied and occupy myself by tying up my shoe laces.

I was a joy to teachers. Quiet and obedient. Always top 3 in class, without really trying. I remember distinctly when I was 12, "So what's next for me? Go into secondary school, then university, then what?" The typical education route seems mundane as I was without a purpose.

Going into my teenage years, I deemed myself incompetent as a human being due to my obvious lack of social skills. Spent most of my teenage years trying to figure out what was wrong with me. Got into depression and dropped out of school.

Only recently learned that I will be weird to others no matter what. Writing/blogging is good therapy. Conveying what I really want to say is still hard but I am still learning. Social interaction is still an Achilles heel that I must overcome.
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Old 10-30-2007, 07:16 AM   #34
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  Originally Posted by Bossy Mom
I was an odd child - and disappointed my parents. I was shy, read constantly, and had an addiction to history and constant learning. I read history books and made notes (and this was not for class - this was on my own). They thought I should be a "normal teenager" and look forward to the prom, etc. They also thought it was odd that I loved learning about the universe, atoms, and the microbial world. I was also always arguing politics with my father, who was a Democrat. I couldn't understand how he could vote for those people. He had taught us hard work, personal responsibility, etc., and he voted for socialists! I could never understand that type of thinking. I wasn't rebellious, just a rational thinker.

Ah yes that reminds me - my parents always thought I should go to prom and all that be more "normal". This wasn't helped by my cousin being the *Classic* "normal" girly girl, boy crazy shopaholic, went to every school dance.

Gah! Democrats aren't socialists! But that's a different story and I hate getting into arguments over politics. Unfortunately I do care though.

The whole politics thing - I was just a rational thinker but went the opposite direction you did. The more I learned the more liberal I became. I started out conservative (honestly, when I look back on things I was conservative for a time) and the more I looked at both sides the more the liberal viewpoints fit my true values. It's really hard for me to see the "logic" of the other side on environmental issues.

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Old 10-30-2007, 08:13 AM   #35
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As a child I was more accepting of the people around me, and very incredibly INTJ. Early on, they thought there was something wrong with me because I didn't socialize or pay attention to the teacher, even though I still did my work without any problems. They tested me for ADD or something, but I showed their ignorant buts when they tested me and a handful of other kids for it.

In sixth grade, my teacher put me and the then best friend in a special program intended to draw introverts out. I guess that shows progress in that school towards understanding and accomodating introverts. From being mislabeled ADD, to getting it right but still thinking it can be cured... Of course, no later public school even tried in the slightest. Public jr. high and high school have zero care or tolerance for the individualization of students, if you stick out it annoys them. The teachers will mostly like you, but if you get a vice principal like the one's where I live, they won't care much for you and may even threaten to kick you out just for being different. I was a slacker out of depression, but there were even kids with high grades getting the same treatment, and I had test results that should have made the school look good even if my grades didn't.

As a teenager I became more F (that's the girl lifestyle afterall), which I largely attribute to my friends who started pushing me to hug them in the seventh grade leading to my being more emotional and caring. But, as loving as I became, I only got heartbroken quite a bit for it and continued to be odd and hard to understand, so I started working back towards detachment. I'm not saying I switched from INTJ to INFJ then back, but I was more openly affectionate and started to care for other people... More that the F was developed after they showed me that it was pleasant, and then that I'm now puting it aside because it has little use and because I learned the value of reserving my emotions for more deserving individuals. Hugs don't have the feeling to me now that they did as a teen, since it's still those old friends more likely to be hugged, and I only do it to be polite.

I may be the only INTJ in my family, but there's a lot of Thinkers in my family, so if I never had more extraverted friends, I never would have developed any Feeling.
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Old 10-30-2007, 10:54 AM   #36
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Also, I have my whole future planned up. Do any other INTJ teenagers do that? Plus I get really angry, sometimes so angry I destroy whole friendships.
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Old 10-30-2007, 11:17 AM   #37
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  Originally Posted by jtskinner
Also, I have my whole future planned up. Do any other INTJ teenagers do that? Plus I get really angry, sometimes so angry I destroy whole friendships.


Some probably plan out their future, but I didn't and I'd imagine I'm not alone in taking my time to find my place.

And, on the anger part... Uh... Maybe you should go look up such things as Borderline Personality Disorder (which I have, so don't feel too bad), and... I can't remember... Mood swings like Borderline, but they last a lot longer... -.- Much more known than my own disorder making it weird not to remember... -.- *resorts to looking it up* Bipolar! Maybe your Borderline or Bipolar. I don't know of any other mood swing disorders, but there could be others, too.

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Old 10-30-2007, 11:25 AM   #38
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How many INTJs are libertarian socialists aka anarchists? Down with government, let people rule themselves! I'll check that Borderline Personality Disorder out. I just checked it out and from what I read I probably have it, since I am prone to depression without reason, nervous breakdowns, I have a bad temper, etc.
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Old 10-30-2007, 11:35 AM   #39
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  Originally Posted by Haminette

  Originally Posted by jtskinner
Also, I have my whole future planned up. Do any other INTJ teenagers do that? Plus I get really angry, sometimes so angry I destroy whole friendships.


Some probably plan out their future, but I didn't and I'd imagine I'm not alone in taking my time to find my place.

And, on the anger part... Uh... Maybe you should go look up such things as Borderline Personality Disorder (which I have, so don't feel too bad), and... I can't remember... Mood swings like Borderline, but they last a lot longer... -.- Much more known than my own disorder making it weird not to remember... -.- *resorts to looking it up* Bipolar! Maybe your Borderline or Bipolar. I don't know of any other mood swing disorders, but there could be others, too.

There's of course Manic and Depressive Personality Disorders. Manic and Depressive are like halves of Bipolar. So if you swing one way or the other, and don't really have any happy or sad swings respectively, then you might be depressive or manic.

I believe Bipolar disorder can be controlled with medication. I know friends of friends have taken meds for Biopolar disorder and I know these meds exist because one of my meds is also used for bipolar disorder. So I always joke it keeps me on an even keel.
Though it probably doesn't help that much at all...

I didn't plan my future at all. The only thing I knew is that I didn't want to be a doctor. I was actually thinking I'd go more molecular biology, bio, bio chem, pharmacology, orgo. But I found out that I dislike biology and hate orgo and disliked the biochem preview I got with orgo. And I found out I thoroughly enjoy the inorganic/physical side of chemistry.

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Old 10-30-2007, 11:53 AM   #40
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Chemistry's cool. I'm top in my class in Biology.
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Old 11-02-2007, 11:52 AM   #41
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  Originally Posted by Circe
I never played with dolls, only toy animals, and then I would make up some epic story in my head and follow it through. I never had friends over, which my parents thought was weird. In fact, when my parents found out that I never played at recess, only read, they sent a note to my teacher telling her that I wasn't allowed to read at recess- something about "retarding my social development." I read anyway.

In 5th grade I had this brilliant revelation when I realized that I was so into the books that I read, so connected to the characters, that they were like having friends, therefore I could just read on the playground instead of playing with the other kids- and still have a "social life". *[smiley=idea.gif] *Unfortunately, my teacher didn't see it that way, called a parent-teacher conference to discuss her concern at me not developing my social skilled, and banned me from bringing books on the playground. *(I didn't connnect these two events at the time, but shortly after I became obsessed with the idea that I was a loser because I wasn't "popular", and thought that without popularity I would never have any self-worth.)

  Originally Posted by cielo market
Question: Even though we all know that INTJs were perfect angels...
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What were you guys usually scolded for as a child?

fighting with my younger sister (it was always my fault, even when it was self defense because my sister attacked me), the house being a mess, not practicing sports (I was a bench-warmer anyways, what was the point?), not getting straight A's (I wasn't exactly scolded, but it was made known that I wasn't living up to my 'full potential'), etc.

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Old 11-02-2007, 12:49 PM   #42
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I was an only child and i had a handful of "casual" friends who i never went anywhere with or did anything with... they simply came over from time to time (usually to take advantage of the lifestyle i had and they did not, in one way or another).

My dad told me once when i was 17, that he and my mother had thought i was gay because of my complete lack of interest in dating. Now of course, i was interested in the occasional boy... but logically i knew i was too young to be dating anyone so i didn't pursue it. That, and i was totally socially backwards anyways
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My teenage years were spent for the most part in my bedroom watching historical programs or old WWII movies, or in the basement on my computer. We got the internet when i was 14 and that was pretty much where the next 4 years of my life were spent.

Now keep in mind i was completely depressed and lived in a very unhappy home.... i would stay up til 5am and sleep in til 6 pm during the summertime... just to avoid everyone. I was pretty much a complete hermit.

I HATED school with a fiery passion.... and despite my lack of effort, i still aced every test put in front of me so i never had bad grades. By Junior year i was dating someone who had been pursuing me for years... basically because he had a car and could give me a ride to school and back. I also had a crush on his best friend so i used him to get closer to him. That was basically the extent of our relationship... i was never attracted to him...

My parents encouraged me to do things with people but i never wanted to. They too had that "Oh my god!" moment when i actually chose to leave the house with a "friend." I never went to Prom, nor any social event. I dropped out of band because i didn't want to play at football games in marching band. I was in a few clubs... Electronics..Computer... Science... LOL. But we never really did anything and there was only a handful of people.

So basically, i gave my parents ZERO typical teenage problems... but a handful of other concerns. But i turned out just fine
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I think.
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Old 11-02-2007, 07:57 PM   #43
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As a child, I came up with the theory that there were many universes and they were all sandwiched on top of one another. I used to make epic adventures, sometimes I pretended my life was a book and most of my friends were imaginary I knew they weren't real but I liked to imagine having conversations with people like me in my head.
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Old 01-01-2008, 01:32 PM   #44
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  Originally Posted by jtskinner
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Also, I have my whole future planned up. Do any other INTJ teenagers do that? Plus I get really angry, sometimes so angry I destroy whole friendships.

Definitely. I spend hours thinking about my future, and I often wonder why I'm so anxious for it when college is at least 2 1/2 years away. I've got way too many casual friends, and I often try to get rid of the ones that make me feel really sad more than they realy should. I'd say I have about 8 really close friends, and I mostly spend my time playing things or guitar. I also have a bit of an obsessive quality in my nature, as once I really like something I become a bit obsessed with it, like listening to a song with a beautiful melody that's two minutes long for over an hour, the same song. Same goes for Scrubs, I watch that almost constantly. But I'm definitely not the INTJ scientist type, I'm not that much of an introvert I think.

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Old 01-01-2008, 02:17 PM   #45
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I'm 15 years old, I don't know if I'm a good example of a teenager INTJ.

I'm extremely introverted (I scored 100% introvert in the MBTI test, this does not surprise me), I hate to show my feelings, I barely smile, laugh or anything like that, even my face hurts when I smile, I'm serious.

I was often called a prodigy, I learned to read by myself with a "talking book" when I was 2 years old, learned the name and capitals of most countries in the world when I was 5, learned the nomenclature and composition of hydrocarbons (methane, ethane, etc...) when I was 6, but school ruined it for me.

I was constantly teased and called a nerd by everyone, this caused me to become a retard just to fit in society, I also got diagnosed with ADHD and OCD afterwards, but I got a bunch of friends this way.

So, I was a retard until middle school, that's when I decided to have my own way and ignore what everyone said, fortunately, the guys in my middle-school were mature enough to not to tease me, I actually had the best friends in my life.

It was just until 2007 when I really got into computers, I did everything just to learn more about computers.

I don't care too much about school grades, I only care about learning stuff, for me, school is just a "guide" and not my teacher, so I don't care too much about school, but it seems that I'm the kind of guy who doesn't put any effort to anything and gets perfect results, this has both its pros and cons.

My entire family is very talkative and extroverted, I can't stand the company of extroverts and those that are guided by feelings instead of reason, so I prefer to be alone in my room using the computer than to be with them, my traits and interests are much different than theirs, I'm all into computers, electronics and all that, while they simply prefer to be doing "fun" stuff.

For me, drawing, programming, designing stuff, 3D modeling, making websites, and all that is fun, but the rest of people think that I have no life and all that.

Sorry for my English, it's not my native language.
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Old 01-01-2008, 02:59 PM   #46
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lol, King, that's a damned good non-native language.
As a kid I was sooo lost, considered uneducable - turns out it was true..in a classroom situation. What's in my head, I put there, learning by myself, following interests, though the downside is I have vast voids where curiosity didn't lead me.
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Old 01-01-2008, 03:05 PM   #47
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  Originally Posted by Tsuru
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As a kid, for as far back as I can remember, I always preferred spending my time by myself as opposed to with other kids. They all seemed like uncouth, threatening barbarians. :P I spent almost all my time doing video games, PC stuff (back when DOS was all the rage, yessss! :3), reading, ect.

I ****HATED**** school with a burning rancor. I felt like I'd been tossed into some bizarre foreign land filled with neanderthals and incompetent and arbitrary adults as its rulers. XD

Teenage years were pretty much in the same avenue, except I added lots of art stuff and started spending a lot of time thinking about, like, things, and all that deep stuff most of the time.

This sounds like a summary of my life until now but beginning in 1991.

Fortunately, i have a group of friends (about 8) that i've been able to stick with for 3 years.

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Old 01-01-2008, 03:44 PM   #48
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  Originally Posted by jtskinner
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I scored as an INTJ for the pass few months and I can't find a reliable resource that describes what INTJs are like as teenagers or children, so just what are they like? Do they fit the nerd/bookworm stereotype like I do? Do any INTJs have Asperger's Syndrome(I scored 42 AQ)?

My mother tells me I was very willful, highly observant, but also withdrawn. Every photo I see myself in as a child, I look like a total clown. No color coordination whatsoever. When I asked my mother about this, she told me I was so willful that I wouldn't let anyone dress me. She decided that as long as I was comfortable, I could wear whatever I wanted. I also had a habit of running around without underpants on and peeing in the backyard but that's another story. I was an odd duck.

I wanted to check out a book on death when I was in the 2nd grade. The librarian immediately wanted to help me pick out a "happy" book. I didn't want a happy book. I wanted to read the book about death. I didn't think there was anything wrong with that and thought the librarian was trying to mother me. I resented that.

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Old 01-01-2008, 11:03 PM   #49
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  Originally Posted by Zeinland
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Well, Im still a teenager. Im still 14. I like to be ALONE, for a great amount of time. I only have few friend's that I talk with ( Tecnology, Military, Racism, Strategy) that's what we only talk about. Sometimes youl find us, sitting in the benches, reading.... and reading, and reading, and reading some more. I don't talk much, to get me laughing is quite a feat. To get me talking is a miracle.... I only lead, in group's of 3, And when nobody want's to lead. And, when I was taking my social studies class, my teacher told me, what's my opinion on Christianity. I just said " Do you really want to know?". And being the teacher she was, she said "Yes". I told her "To say the truth, we'd be better of without it, There's no scientific proof that Yahve actually exist's, And it was the cause of many war's, so I don't care at all about Christianity, it's just the oil to the fire". You can imagine what my classmates, thought about that...

I'm 14 as well, and apart from better apostrophy usage, I'm basically the same. The only difference is that it's easy to get me talking in a one-on-one situation, if it is the right topic. Also, I hate organized religion, but not religion itself.

Also, I love showing off my expertise (or at least, that's what I make it seem to my peers) whenever I get the chance. Word choice, I have found, can be much more affective than actuall knowledge. Though, in the subjects that I don't specialize in I rarely put more that three words together.

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Old 01-02-2008, 12:54 AM   #50
Danisty
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Unrepentant Fangirl
MBTI: INTJ
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 1,285
 

  Originally Posted by Tsuru
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I ****HATED**** school with a burning rancor. I felt like I'd been tossed into some bizarre foreign land filled with neanderthals and incompetent and arbitrary adults as its rulers. XD

My entire childhood was full of incompetent authority figures. My parents had to fight with the school many times over the things teachers had said or done. Actually, I think my life is still filled with incompetent authority figures. In elementary school, I made a couple of friends, but found out after a good bit of heartache that they were really just using and manipulating me for their own entertainment. I stopped trusting people. I hated sports and the community I grew up in was very sports-oriented. I think the only decent friend I had in elementary school was a boy who was as fond of science as I was. It didn't take long for that to start having adverse effects on my life as well since people made all kinds of weird-ass assumptions about why a white girl was playing with a black boy.

When I got into middle school, I made some acquaintances but kept them all at a distance. The friends I did start making were all at least 2 grades ahead of me. Middle school was probably the worst time in my life. At least in elementary school, I was ignorant of what other children were doing, but in middle school I was aware enough to see the nasty games they were playing. I can't tell you how many times I ended up in the counselor's office being told that we should "all just try to get along" after some incident where someone stole something from me or bullied me, or whatever. I'm still not sure why I should try to get along with such people.
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High school was much better. I found my group of losers. All of the misfits and rejects banded together and like someone else mentioned, I ended up being the leader simply because I was bolder than everyone else. Basically, I had gotten sick of being pushed around and found that scaring other people was a really effective way of getting them to leave me alone. So I had my freak friends and everyone else just hated us and we didn't care. In high school, I got very adventurous despite my introversion. I was no longer afraid of standing out (and if anyone said anything about it, I'd just verbally tear them to shreds...it actually became quite fun to "break" people mentally). I was also sexually adventurous and basically the most "perverted" chick in school. I was always one of the guys but perfectly willing to remind them that I wasn't really a guy. I was more popular with the unpopular guys because I was more open to things that interested them like comic books, roleplaying, video games, and porn.

I was basically a perfect child until I hit 15 and then I was hell. I even ran away with the carnival once. When I was 17, I threw myself at a 29 year old suicidal, alcoholic ex-marine who I met at a live audience-participation viewing of the Rocky Horror Picture Show...lol. I don't regret any bit of it at all. In fact, those years might be the only years from my childhood that I'm proud of.

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