Weird Friends

**namaste** · 03-27-2012, 06:14 AM

I have been brought up in a weird household with both my parents eccentric
As a child i couldnt make friends and now when i have grown up I am unable
to make good friends
In my office i have not been able to make friends and they have started
avoiding me
Same is the case in my society or with my cousins
People generally avoid me because they find me too quite, withdrawn, shy
earlier i used to talk a lot about spirituality and other stuff but when i realised
that mainstream people are not talking such stuff then i decided to cut off that
from my topics of discussion only when i was asked i would converse on that topic
Most of the time I am lonely how do i go about making good quality friends who will help me learn
social cues and help me build my confidence.

**Sk8ordude** · 03-27-2012, 07:42 AM

Being weird and having good friends arent mutually exclusive. Shyness that gets in the way of normal functioning is probably a fear of judgement or social anxiety. Fear and anxiety arent condusive to social eloquence, they cloud your mind and your thinking. The only way to beat a fear is to face it, get out there and talk at people about whatever you want to, those worth your time will talk back at you.

I recommend looking into joining a toastmasters group, I'm 95% certain that where ever you live there is one nearby.

**ali731** · 03-27-2012, 08:14 AM

I used to be pretty shy and didn't readily talk to people. Still am kinda. I guess I am more of the type of person who has to be approached rather than me approaching others. Anyways, I found a coffee shop that I really like - has great coffee and food and typically isn't overcrowded or anything. So I would just go in there a couple days a week to study, read, or just do whatever and eventually I got to know the people who worked there and the regulars that came in. I didn't really have to go out of my comfort zone and talk to them a lot at one time. It was more of a gradual thing where I would just see them day to day and ask how they were etc. and then eventually I would start having conversations with them because you get more comfortable with people the more you see them. Now I know everyone that works there and all the regulars. Definitely wouldn't call them all friends, but have made a few pretty good ones. Met a very diverse group of people there too which is pretty typical of a coffee shop I think. So you might try something like that. Doesn't necessarily have to be a coffee shop. I repeatedly go to the same places cause I like to get to know the people that work there and there's something special about walking into a store and they just automatically start making your sandwich. Plus, I get lots of free coffee.

**namaste** · 03-27-2012, 10:17 AM

Originally Posted by Sk8ordude
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Being weird and having good friends arent mutually exclusive. Shyness that gets in the way of normal functioning is probably a fear of judgement or social anxiety. Fear and anxiety arent condusive to social eloquence, they cloud your mind and your thinking. The only way to beat a fear is to face it, get out there and talk at people about whatever you want to, those worth your time will talk back at you.

I recommend looking into joining a toastmasters group, I'm 95% certain that where ever you live there is one nearby.

Ya you are right being weird and getting good friends arent mutually exclusive just because of weird behaviour people would avoid us and run away and low confidence always reflects in the personality

I saw a toastmaster club near my area, but its for some public speaking thing and all confident people would be coming there will it be useful for me or i would be misfit there.

---------- Post added 03-27-2012 at 10:48 PM ----------

Originally Posted by ali731
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I used to be pretty shy and didn't readily talk to people. Still am kinda. I guess I am more of the type of person who has to be approached rather than me approaching others. Anyways, I found a coffee shop that I really like - has great coffee and food and typically isn't overcrowded or anything. So I would just go in there a couple days a week to study, read, or just do whatever and eventually I got to know the people who worked there and the regulars that came in. I didn't really have to go out of my comfort zone and talk to them a lot at one time. It was more of a gradual thing where I would just see them day to day and ask how they were etc. and then eventually I would start having conversations with them because you get more comfortable with people the more you see them. Now I know everyone that works there and all the regulars. Definitely wouldn't call them all friends, but have made a few pretty good ones. Met a very diverse group of people there too which is pretty typical of a coffee shop I think. So you might try something like that. Doesn't necessarily have to be a coffee shop. I repeatedly go to the same places cause I like to get to know the people that work there and there's something special about walking into a store and they just automatically start making your sandwich. Plus, I get lots of free coffee.

i live in india and usually woman here dont travel alone or sit alone in restaurants its considered too bold and others would look down upon me that i am too outgoing or bold for doing such things...i would rather sit quitely in my building compound

**r Don** · 03-27-2012, 10:25 AM

Perhaps there's a 'group' or 'club' that you could join? If you're religious, maybe your spiritual adviser would have a suggestion.

Else the old stand by: 'to make a friend, be a friend' will often work. [Keep your eyes open for someone who might be a potential friend that you can help, and see if that helpfulness is reciprocated and it may lead to friendship.]

**namaste** · 03-27-2012, 10:36 AM

	Originally Posted by r Don To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Perhaps there's a 'group' or 'club' that you could join? If you're religious, maybe your spiritual adviser would have a suggestion. Else the old stand by: 'to make a friend, be a friend' will often work. [Keep your eyes open for someone who might be a potential friend that you can help, and see if that helpfulness is reciprocated and it may lead to friendship.]

i was spiritual and was into lot of spiritual guru's and get together most of the guru's turned out to be fraud and vending out odd rituals and techniques
there i met strange people with weird behaviour
i mean they were disillusioned or impractical
i prefer meeting normal people

**Sk8ordude** · 03-27-2012, 10:48 AM

	Originally Posted by namaste To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Ya you are right being weird and getting good friends aren't mutually exclusive just because of weird behavior people would avoid us and run away and low confidence always reflects in the personality I saw a toastmaster club near my area, but its for some public speaking thing and all confident people would be coming there will it be useful for me or i would be misfit there.

Everybody is weird, and if you are actually normal you are weird for being so normal.

Alot of the people in Toastmasters started as a bit shy or quiet, from the groups I have been to they are friendly and want their members to succeed. All they want is for you to be willing to grow, and $5 dollars a month in dues or so...

A good yoga and meditation session can help put you into a confident state of mind for the rest of the day.

**namaste** · 03-28-2012, 02:08 AM

A tulip doesn’t strive to impress anyone. It doesn’t struggle to be different than a rose. It doesn’t have to. It is different. And there’s room in the garden for every flower.

03-27-2012, 06:14 AM	#1
namaste New Member [01%] MBTI: ISFP Join Date: Mar 2012 Posts: 73	I have been brought up in a weird household with both my parents eccentric As a child i couldnt make friends and now when i have grown up I am unable to make good friends In my office i have not been able to make friends and they have started avoiding me Same is the case in my society or with my cousins People generally avoid me because they find me too quite, withdrawn, shy earlier i used to talk a lot about spirituality and other stuff but when i realised that mainstream people are not talking such stuff then i decided to cut off that from my topics of discussion only when i was asked i would converse on that topic Most of the time I am lonely how do i go about making good quality friends who will help me learn social cues and help me build my confidence.
namaste is offline post a comment

03-27-2012, 07:42 AM	#2
Sk8ordude Veteran Member [59%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 2,385	Being weird and having good friends arent mutually exclusive. Shyness that gets in the way of normal functioning is probably a fear of judgement or social anxiety. Fear and anxiety arent condusive to social eloquence, they cloud your mind and your thinking. The only way to beat a fear is to face it, get out there and talk at people about whatever you want to, those worth your time will talk back at you. I recommend looking into joining a toastmasters group, I'm 95% certain that where ever you live there is one nearby.
Sk8ordude is online post a comment

03-27-2012, 08:14 AM	#3
ali731 New Member [01%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Mar 2012 Posts: 12	I used to be pretty shy and didn't readily talk to people. Still am kinda. I guess I am more of the type of person who has to be approached rather than me approaching others. Anyways, I found a coffee shop that I really like - has great coffee and food and typically isn't overcrowded or anything. So I would just go in there a couple days a week to study, read, or just do whatever and eventually I got to know the people who worked there and the regulars that came in. I didn't really have to go out of my comfort zone and talk to them a lot at one time. It was more of a gradual thing where I would just see them day to day and ask how they were etc. and then eventually I would start having conversations with them because you get more comfortable with people the more you see them. Now I know everyone that works there and all the regulars. Definitely wouldn't call them all friends, but have made a few pretty good ones. Met a very diverse group of people there too which is pretty typical of a coffee shop I think. So you might try something like that. Doesn't necessarily have to be a coffee shop. I repeatedly go to the same places cause I like to get to know the people that work there and there's something special about walking into a store and they just automatically start making your sandwich. Plus, I get lots of free coffee.
ali731 is offline post a comment

03-27-2012, 10:25 AM	#5
r Don Member [02%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Mar 2012 Posts: 86	Perhaps there's a 'group' or 'club' that you could join? If you're religious, maybe your spiritual adviser would have a suggestion. Else the old stand by: 'to make a friend, be a friend' will often work. [Keep your eyes open for someone who might be a potential friend that you can help, and see if that helpfulness is reciprocated and it may lead to friendship.]
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03-28-2012, 02:08 AM	#8
namaste New Member [01%] MBTI: ISFP Join Date: Mar 2012 Posts: 73	A tulip doesn’t strive to impress anyone. It doesn’t struggle to be different than a rose. It doesn’t have to. It is different. And there’s room in the garden for every flower.
namaste is offline post a comment