[kasthu]

Recently at work I was passed up for a job promo to someone else who actually, if you think about it, took a demotion (she is now basically the personal assistant to the boss, although they call the job "administrative coordinator). In hindsight, it was the wrong job for me because I lack the social skills necessary (ie, i can't read people's minds or anticipate their needs). I mostly expressed interest in the job because I wanted to get off the time clock system (I hate that feeling of constantly being watched). Has this kind of thing happened to you, where you were passed up for a job because your social skills were lacking?

[crazyshoots]

Originally Posted by kasthu To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Recently at work I was passed up for a job promo to someone else who actually, if you think about it, took a demotion (she is now basically the personal assistant to the boss, although they call the job "administrative coordinator). In hindsight, it was the wrong job for me because I lack the social skills necessary (ie, i can't read people's minds or anticipate their needs). I mostly expressed interest in the job because I wanted to get off the time clock system (I hate that feeling of constantly being watched). Has this kind of thing happened to you, where you were passed up for a job because your social skills were lacking?

Nope.. wasn't passed up but although I was valued the most among the team (being the one with the most awards and promotions) but the pay remains TOO LOW and my position, despite three promotions, remain with the "assistant" title. It was apparently because I didn't join the company long enough to climb that hierarchy stairs/I joined in with a tooooo lowly rank which is simply BS.

I had to deal with managers, align processes and even manage people with higher pay/rank than me and I got sick of it so I left after learning that I can no longer advance in this company. I am now in a new place earning much more, happier and with a higher self esteem.

I hope that helps. Social skills need to be work on but priority shld be place on whether this place still have that potential for you to advance, people wise or cultural-wise.

[Szepi311]

I am wondering if it may not have been simply social skills. How are you at delegating to others compared to the person who got the job?

I can stretch when it comes to social skills but I am horrible at delegation.

---------- Post added 03-04-2012 at 09:02 AM ----------

BTW: I hate being watched too. I feel like they should not have hired me if they can't trust me to do the work.

[kasthu]

It's interesting what you say about delegation... I once attempted to have a few of my coworkers help me out with a project I was working on (including the girl I was passed up on the job for), and absolutely no one responded. Don't know if I was being too harsh with my tone of voice or not, but I'm just not skilled at inspiring people (the coworker in question is probably an ENFP or ESFP; bright girl but little to no organizational skills. She's been in the job a month and has already taken 2 weeks of vacation time). I think I need to work on getting people to trust me more...

---------- Post added 03-05-2012 at 07:34 PM ----------

Also, most of the time I give off the impression (which is mostly true) that I don't care about other people; I'd rather just get my job done.

[Network Ball]

I'm in a spot where I'll soon find out whether I'll be given a promotion or passed over. I think my biggest problem is that I suspect my boss feels a bit intimidated by me. If they decide to go outside the company to fill the position, that will be a signal to me to find work elsewhere.

[Szepi311]

	Originally Posted by Network Ball To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I'm in a spot where I'll soon find out whether I'll be given a promotion or passed over. I think my biggest problem is that I suspect my boss feels a bit intimidated by me. If they decide to go outside the company to fill the position, that will be a signal to me to find work elsewhere.

Few were the positions where my bosses were not intimidated. Those were the best working conditions though. Be careful, changing jobs now could land you in a similar situation and starting new in a company could set you back.

---------- Post added 03-07-2012 at 07:31 AM ----------

	Originally Posted by kasthu To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	It's interesting what you say about delegation... I once attempted to have a few of my coworkers help me out with a project I was working on (including the girl I was passed up on the job for), and absolutely no one responded.

One can be an absolutely wonderful caring person or an efficient worker or whatever, yet co-workers will see them differently.

A supervisor once pulled me aside for a brief review of my work. During the discussion she said: "Do you realize what you look like when you are concentrating?" I looked puzzled. I did not know. I don't usually have a mirror in front of me and I certainly don't carry a hand held one to check often. So, she shared that this set of Extroverted co-workers did not care for me much. When you keep to the tasks required without doing a lot of interacting with them, it sets you apart. The co-workers don't see this as something you do for yourself, they see it as trying to show them up. When the supervisor told me how serious I looked while concentrating, it made me realize that I had to make a conscious effort to smile.

Since then, people have actually been thinking I was such an extroverted person. I am not.

One thing I can suggest is to slowly transition over to a workplace where more like-minded people are likely to be found. Your efforts will be better appreciated and reciprocated with appropriate pay as well.

[kasthu]

Originally Posted by Szepi311 To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Few were the positions where my bosses were not intimidated. Those were the best working conditions though. Be careful, changing jobs now could land you in a similar situation and starting new in a company could set you back. ---------- Post added 03-07-2012 at 07:31 AM ---------- One can be an absolutely wonderful caring person or an efficient worker or whatever, yet co-workers will see them differently. A supervisor once pulled me aside for a brief review of my work. During the discussion she said: "Do you realize what you look like when you are concentrating?" I looked puzzled. I did not know. I don't usually have a mirror in front of me and I certainly don't carry a hand held one to check often. So, she shared that this set of Extroverted co-workers did not care for me much. When you keep to the tasks required without doing a lot of interacting with them, it sets you apart. The co-workers don't see this as something you do for yourself, they see it as trying to show them up. When the supervisor told me how serious I looked while concentrating, it made me realize that I had to make a conscious effort to smile. Since then, people have actually been thinking I was such an extroverted person. I am not. One thing I can suggest is to slowly transition over to a workplace where more like-minded people are likely to be found. Your efforts will be better appreciated and reciprocated with appropriate pay as well.

Interesting suggestion! My skills are in medical copyediting, which requires a heavy amount of interaction between myself and the writer (most of it through e-mail, though). I'm still working with an "assistant" title, though, despite working on an advanced degree and having extra technical skills that set me apart.

I also have that "weird" concentration thing, where I get irritated at being disturbed while I'm concentrating on something. The look I give people when they disturb me I guess disturbs them.

I do get frustrated with my more extroverted coworkers, though. At my end of year review, my two supervisors told me that I wasn't communicating very well, which came as a complete surprise to me considering I thought I had been communicating well (at least from my own standards. I hate end of year reviews because they are subjective to supervisor bias). My one supervisor doesn't understand my aversion to phones and reliance on e-mail communication (but it goes to show how little he can put himself in other people's shoes). So, yes, extroversion is highly valued in the workplace I'm in; maybe, once my skills have developed, it'll be time for a change.