[Idiotes]

How much focus do you give to weighing up what a person is like when they talk to you for the first time? Do you mainly pay attention to what they're saying or their expressions and the body language they emit? Do you conciously form opinions of them immediatly? What do you look for? Ie) signs etc

Personally, I rely fully on dialogue and struggle to accommodate analysis of the person without losing track of the conversation and making myself look like an asshole. Please share your methods so I can try and gauge what the 'norm' combination may be. I am sick of appearing to be a cold hearted bastard when the warmth is trapped so deep inside, that it can't show itself!

[Vulture]

i try and keep judgements pretty light in the outset.

the judgements are mainly kept to "i like what you said/i dislike what you said."

any further analysis beyond that into judgements of character or any reasons or breakdown into "why" they said something or did something or anything else, i find can sometimes become erroneous. those erroneous judgements can often ruin a relationship before it starts.

i can be completely right about everything about a person for why they said "things," but one wrong judgement out of 1000 correct ones can throw things off the track.

[Selene]

I'm one of those who pay more attention to what they are saying, rather than how they actually look like. Forming an opinion is a natural reaction; I decide based on what they say and how they seem.

How they articulate will indicate qualities like confidence and probably education level. Appearances will indicate habits and quirks such as grooming, hygiene and vanity. First impressions are deceptive btw, and looking back, just like you I may be missing out certain clues that are far more important than those dialogue can give lol.

[Distance]

The first 60 seconds will be a superficial size up of danger or not, based on body language, facial expressions, everything. The next 5 minutes are more verbal speech pattern evaluations and how genuine they come across, with what they're articulating.

At all times, even people I know well, the entire scanning/evaluation process continues. It's not at a conscious level.

[Distance]

As a suggestion, don't rely solely on what people say. Words are easy.

[NicholasIv]

Either they are telling the truth when you're talking to them and they are as great as they seem, or they lie which makes them human, impossible to go by body language and expressions because again, people lie - even if they aren't nec. able to fake this type of language it can be a misrepresentation of what they actually feel if they are lying to themselves.

[Marcus Septim]

Im particulary wary of too friendly people on my first encounter with em

Well generally im wary of people upon initial meeting

[Selene]

	Originally Posted by Marcus Septim To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Im particulary wary of too friendly people on my first encounter with em

Same here. I tend to be cautious about people who appear friendly, charismatic, and eager to gel. They're usually the high self-monitoring types who are way better at deception and masking their true intentions.

[Idiotes]

Thanks for your replies. I know there is no right or wrong way to deal with social encounters, but understanding what's important to people even on an anecdotal level helps. :-)

[goofy]

	Im particulary wary of too friendly people on my first encounter with em

Maybe you should relax. Many times, they mean no harm. Actually, they usually mean nothing at all !

[Muse]

I'm not really worried about if someone is an immediate danger because they would have to have a weapon to do much physically, and since I'm not believing them/making decisions right away I don't worry about deception.

For example, if someone is super nice (and let's assume it's fake) I don't really bother with figuring it out because they arent going to get anything out of me anyways. I just go along with it and even enjoy their artificial positive vibe like a zero calorie sweetener. Some people really are super nice all the time, even to family. They might be one, I don't know, maybe we will see.

I don't make concrete observations/judgements about a person until further in. It would take at least two separate interactions.

Some of the greatest compatibility aspects between two people don't become apparent until a week or two in. First impressions, as I view them, are largely unimportant and often deceptive when compared to who the person actually is when you get to know them. A better guess at who they are would be to look at their history with people.

At times the greatest strategic decision is not to make one. So I don't until who they are is of more interest. Until then they are a part of the scenery, and be it organic or plastic, a tree still 'looks' like a tree upon viewing. I only care if it is made of wood when I decide I need wood.

[mia146]

I joke around a lot, so if somebody laughs with me they are someone I can at least have conversations with. I really don't even know how to interact with anyone without a good sense of humor.

[Reizu]

I usually don't go beyond small-talk, which is not very effective in sizing-up a person. When I do end up getting into a more in-depth discussion, though, it's usually an intellectual debate, in which case I look for bias, evidence, effective reasoning, and whether or not he or she is just pulling crap out of his or her *ss.

[GreatAlias]

Originally Posted by Idiotes To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

How much focus do you give to weighing up what a person is like when they talk to you for the first time? Do you mainly pay attention to what they're saying or their expressions and the body language they emit? Do you conciously form opinions of them immediatly? What do you look for? Ie) signs etc Personally, I rely fully on dialogue and struggle to accommodate analysis of the person without losing track of the conversation and making myself look like an asshole. Please share your methods so I can try and gauge what the 'norm' combination may be. I am sick of appearing to be a cold hearted bastard when the warmth is trapped so deep inside, that it can't show itself!

I used to pay attention to words completely, till I realized that it was a terribly unsuccessful approach. Words are easy and tell very little. Have you ever been talking to someone for a while , digging it, then realize that they are bored out of their minds? Yikes, I have. It sucks.

Generally I try and type them, sort of MBTI, just to figure out what is going to make the conversation interesting. Then just go down whatever road that leads. The more I pay attention to body language, the better the time I have is.

[zibber]

Originally Posted by Idiotes To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

How much focus do you give to weighing up what a person is like when they talk to you for the first time? Do you mainly pay attention to what they're saying or their expressions and the body language they emit? Do you conciously form opinions of them immediatly? What do you look for? Ie) signs etc Personally, I rely fully on dialogue and struggle to accommodate analysis of the person without losing track of the conversation and making myself look like an asshole. Please share your methods so I can try and gauge what the 'norm' combination may be. I am sick of appearing to be a cold hearted bastard when the warmth is trapped so deep inside, that it can't show itself!

Just stop that incessant judging.