[Persona]

	Originally Posted by Claudus To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	How can you pour an ocean into a teacup?

Shrink ray? ;p

[Async]

Isn't why we congregate here at this INTJf? to say things that we are sure no one else would understand but people here would?

Yesterday, I opened up to an INTP about an old event. (yeah, yeah, trust an INTJ & INTP converse about an emotional event). It was probably the most raw thing I ever wrote, but it was a cathartic moment for me, because I was able to set free an emotion. It was scary as hell, because what if I misjudge my friend's emotion? what if I assume something that was not true? Yeah, fear of emotional failure striked again.

I made the leap of faith that my friend would get me. My fear of failure is what hold me back and I am working towards to be free from that bond.

[EdmontonAspie]

I'm not familiar with that abbreviation/acronym, so...

F.M.L.=what?

[spect]

'fuck my life' ime, ymmv though

[JTG]

"Fuck my life" is an expression of extreme frustration or despair, usually at some upsetting event, but occasionally also used in reference to a larger, more constant state of affairs

[Athalie]

Ah I sympathise with the OP. Hard to find someone out there that 'gets it' - and doubly hard when we're INTJ's and find it hard to communicate what we're thinking!

I'm lucky to have friends who take the time to listen to me. I'd not the best at articulating what I'm thinking / feeling - especially if I haven't formed a nice conclusion in my head. But they've got to know me and will ask me questions without jumping to conclusions.

With acquaintances and workmates it's a different issue. After being confronted with various issues I decided to open up and try to explain my thought processes instead of getting all defensive. That backfired spectacularly when it felt like they were understanding of my point of view, only later completely misrepresented what I'd said. I don't think it was malicious - I just didn't realise how much that person's emotional attachments would cloud their perception. Ironically, the conversation was about my apparent lack of empathy - and I don't think I've ever felt so badly misunderstood!

[poetic intj]

Originally Posted by Darklogic112358 To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

I'm just typing this to vent really, but I have to ask. Is there anything worse than sharing something really personal with somebody, only to have them not understand AT ALL?? Maybe I should blame myself for being stupid enough to share a part of my real self with anyone. Seriously, whether I'm INTJ or INFJ, how often does either type EVER truly open up to anyone? How often do they ever trust someone enough to share a part of themselves, with the hope that that other person just MAY be able to understand? Seriously, what an extraordinary sign of good faith that is! And what's worse than that cold, crushing disappointment when the person you share with is COMPLETELY UNABLE to relate to it, oblivious to what it's like to feel so different from everyone else on the planet? I really don't mean this as some self-gratifying "I'm-so-deep-and-special-that-I-want-someone-as-wonderful-as-me" kind of thing. It's more of just wanting to be able to share your inner self with someone who can at least understand/empathize, even if they're in a different place and have different ideas to offer. Mutually, I'd want to see their inner selves and connect with the same level of understanding and acceptance. I've always hungered to discover that there is SOMEWHERE on Earth that I belong. I don't have to work at being individualistic, but I SURE as hell have to work at being normal. As an INTJ or INFJ (not sure which), it's been ceaselessly DEPRESSING to always feel completely, ineffably different in a way that's too intrinsic and fuzzy to articulate. It's been through substantial effort that I've learned to be more sociable with people. The goal: to feel human. But just because I don't relate to people (I doubt I'm the only one like this on an INTJ forum), doesn't mean that I don't have the DESIRE to. I'd LOVE to meet someone who understands that feeling of alienation, who has an equal desire for such a transcendent connection. But it's overwhelmingly disappointing when you meet people who on the surface appear different, iconoclastic, reflective...but dig a little deeper, open up a little more of yourself and you'll realize that YET AGAIN, they don't care to understand (or empathize with) your inner thoughts and fears. I think the most intrinsic fear I have is that man truly IS an island, that the rich inner worlds in our heads will live and die with no one else to share or partake in them.

Oh my goodness! You took the rant right out of my mouth. I can relate to everything you wrote here. EVERYTHING. It gives me some comfort; morbid though it may be to take comfort in shared anguish.

I agree that it is one of the most painful things to open up and share an innermost part to someone who originally seemed different from the norm only to not be understood. To think that my "thought essences" or internal world are meant for me and me alone fills me with such deep despair at times. Even worse is when you are accused of being arrogant or wanting to be different. I don't fucking want to be different. I just want to share, relate, connect. Have a genuine moment where we can peak inside each other's inner worlds. Bah.

[Soviet Prussia]

	Originally Posted by dwatring To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I feel almost exactly the same way as you and OP. I'm currently in high school, and I just feel like I'm the only one. There may be another person that I can share my thoughts, ideas, feelings, and fears with, but they may be better at hiding in the normal more than I. It frustrates me so much that I can't speak to anyone...

I'm in high school as well and I'm in the same situation. Everybody sees me as that "Smarty who's too smart to need friends." It's not like I don't need friends.

[Laine]

	Originally Posted by dwatring
	I feel almost exactly the same way as you and OP. I'm currently in high school, and I just feel like I'm the only one. There may be another person that I can share my thoughts, ideas, feelings, and fears with, but they may be better at hiding in the normal more than I. It frustrates me so much that I can't speak to anyone...

	Originally Posted by Soviet Prussia To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I'm in high school as well and I'm in the same situation. Everybody sees me as that "Smarty who's too smart to need friends." It's not like I don't need friends.

That's how it was for me in the last couple years of high school as well. I felt out of place and that I didn't belong. I had some friends, but one of them in particular could be easily led by other, not-nice people. The not-nice person didn't like having me around (for whatever reason) and sought ways to keep me out of what my friend group was doing. It was all underhanded manipulative stuff that I saw.

Anyway, long story short, I ended up wandering around Epcot by myself for six hours during senior class trip because I didn't want to be around a person who didn't want me around. I actually met some people--a mom and dad and their baby--who shared my section of fence for watching the fireworks. The guy told me that the friends I'd make in college would be better friends, and though it took some time, he's turned out to be right.

So it sucks, but it gets better. Eventually. Maybe that's due to me maturing and others maturing, but it's also about finding people who really care and it takes time for that to happen.