Should one apologize for being passive agressive?

**Overanalyzer** · 01-26-2012, 10:04 PM

I realized I have been today and didn't say hi to people I normally would due to lack fo availible classes. Is this odd to apologize for?

**eagleseven** · 01-26-2012, 10:09 PM

That's not being passive-aggressive, unless you're angry at them for some reason.

Ignoring them if they tried to get your attention would be passive-aggressive.

**Aboni** · 01-26-2012, 10:16 PM

No, that's non of their business.

**Selene** · 01-26-2012, 10:24 PM

If someone apologizes to me, for not volunteering to say "hi" earlier in the morning, it's weird. Especially if I didn't initiate the greeting to begin with.

If I did and was ignored, then it wouldn't be weird.

And eagleseven is right. This is not
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.

**Samoan Corleone** · 01-26-2012, 10:38 PM

Passive-aggressiveness is really, really stupid. So yes, you should apologise for performing such a stupid behaviour.

**Ferbguy101** · 01-27-2012, 01:34 PM

No, that's not passive agressive, saying sorry for just saying hi is just plain foolish

**Polymath20** · 01-27-2012, 01:35 PM

Just say you're having a crappy day.

**JulietCapulet** · 01-27-2012, 02:03 PM

I think it's always good to be apologetic if you feel you have hurt someone or you had a bad motivation for behavior.

But it doesn't sound like you did anything wrong.

**kronique** · 01-27-2012, 02:05 PM

what did you do wrong again?
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**Tengu** · 01-27-2012, 02:25 PM

There's also too apologetic. Bounds of reason as usual.

**Typhon** · 01-27-2012, 02:40 PM

Never apologize publicly. Shows weakness.

**Sethis** · 01-27-2012, 03:35 PM

	Originally Posted by Typhon To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Never apologize publicly. Shows weakness.

Yeah dude!
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instead!
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**mllebrie** · 01-27-2012, 04:56 PM

Hmmm, did I ever apologize to my first semester roommate for all the passive-aggressive shit I did (in response to the passive-aggressive shit she did)? Nope.

And it feels gooooood.
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**Apophenia** · 01-27-2012, 05:03 PM

If you feel you must engage them, you should probably just say "did you feel like I was ignoring you yesterday?"

If they say yes, apologize. If they say no, drop it, forget it, it's probably all in your head. It'd be boring to you conversation partner to have a conversation about something that only happened in your head.

**JTG** · 01-27-2012, 07:34 PM

	Originally Posted by Overanalyzer To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I realized I have been today and didn't say hi to people I normally would due to lack fo availible classes. Is this odd to apologize for?

If i understand right, you're saying that you ended up not being in classes with certain people, and so you don't see them (thus don't say hi) very often?

It's not a crime to be busy. I don't think you've got reason to apologize, although if you miss talking to somebody, there's no harm in getting in touch to say so

**Eye on Earth** · 01-27-2012, 07:41 PM

Being apologetic about everything is a waste of everyone's time. Suck it up and just move on.

**dungeonguy88** · 01-27-2012, 08:30 PM

I'd prefer it if they knocked the passive-aggressive BS off, rather than apologize for it. There aren't many things that genuinely irritate; I can understand launching emotionally charged insults or attacking someone's character to win an argument. Being passive-aggressive is neither of those, yet manages to combine the two into a repugnant whole of premeditated jackassery.

Worse yet, it rarely manages to address the issue, much less solve it. I probably wouldn't respond to anything less than a earnest apology, and even then I would need time ("So you know that you were being a vindictive asshole and kept on going?"). Yeah, it kind of gets under my skin.

**Overanalyzer** · 01-27-2012, 09:36 PM

Well I normally say hi to people I have had classes with.
I'm not the type to pass by with my head looking down so they are and I don't know if that counts. Though when crashing classes, I want to but I get the feeling they are embarrassed to know me do I don't say it because they won't reply by not seeing me or by seeing yet ignoring me.

**Deliberator** · 01-27-2012, 09:44 PM

That's not passive-aggressive but it's always a good idea to apologize if you think you made a negative impression and regretted it later.

e.g. "Sorry if I seemed brusque earlier, <insert appropriate excuse here>"

**kronique** · 01-27-2012, 11:45 PM

	Originally Posted by Overanalyzer To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Well I normally say hi to people I have had classes with. I'm not the type to pass by with my head looking down so they are and I don't know if that counts. Though when crashing classes, I want to but I get the feeling they are embarrassed to know me do I don't say it because they won't reply by not seeing me or by seeing yet ignoring me.

Yikes being too passive aggressive is too extreme, just start thinking about your own self-interests a LOT more and you will be fine.

01-26-2012, 10:04 PM	#1
Overanalyzer Banned MBTI: INFJ Join Date: Dec 2011 Posts: 631	I realized I have been today and didn't say hi to people I normally would due to lack fo availible classes. Is this odd to apologize for?
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01-26-2012, 10:09 PM	#2
eagleseven Core Member [155%] MBTI: XNTJ Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 6,201	That's not being passive-aggressive, unless you're angry at them for some reason. Ignoring them if they tried to get your attention would be passive-aggressive.
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01-26-2012, 10:16 PM	#3
Aboni Banned MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Jan 2012 Posts: 644	No, that's non of their business.
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01-26-2012, 10:24 PM	#4
Selene Veteran Member [84%] MBTI: XXXX Join Date: Dec 2011 Posts: 3,383	If someone apologizes to me, for not volunteering to say "hi" earlier in the morning, it's weird. Especially if I didn't initiate the greeting to begin with. If I did and was ignored, then it wouldn't be weird. And eagleseven is right. This is not To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. .
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01-26-2012, 10:38 PM	#5
Samoan Corleone Core Member [151%] MBTI: INxJ Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 6,078	Passive-aggressiveness is really, really stupid. So yes, you should apologise for performing such a stupid behaviour.
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01-27-2012, 01:34 PM	#6
Ferbguy101 Member [11%] MBTI: INTP Join Date: Aug 2011 Posts: 452	No, that's not passive agressive, saying sorry for just saying hi is just plain foolish
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01-27-2012, 01:35 PM	#7
Polymath20 Core Member [413%] MBTI: ENTP Join Date: Oct 2011 Posts: 16,526	Just say you're having a crappy day.
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01-27-2012, 02:03 PM	#8
JulietCapulet Veteran Member [96%] MBTI: XNFX Join Date: May 2010 Posts: 3,865	I think it's always good to be apologetic if you feel you have hurt someone or you had a bad motivation for behavior. But it doesn't sound like you did anything wrong.
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01-27-2012, 02:05 PM	#9
kronique Member [02%] MBTI: INFJ Join Date: Aug 2011 Posts: 93	what did you do wrong again? To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
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01-27-2012, 02:25 PM	#10
Tengu Veteran Member [56%] MBTI: INTj Join Date: Dec 2011 Posts: 2,280	There's also too apologetic. Bounds of reason as usual.
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01-27-2012, 02:40 PM	#11
Typhon Member [34%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Jan 2012 Posts: 1,360	Never apologize publicly. Shows weakness.
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01-27-2012, 04:56 PM	#13
mllebrie Member [37%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Jul 2011 Posts: 1,510	Hmmm, did I ever apologize to my first semester roommate for all the passive-aggressive shit I did (in response to the passive-aggressive shit she did)? Nope. And it feels gooooood. To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
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01-27-2012, 05:03 PM	#14
Apophenia Member [22%] MBTI: xxxx Join Date: Sep 2011 Posts: 888	If you feel you must engage them, you should probably just say "did you feel like I was ignoring you yesterday?" If they say yes, apologize. If they say no, drop it, forget it, it's probably all in your head. It'd be boring to you conversation partner to have a conversation about something that only happened in your head.
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01-27-2012, 07:41 PM	#16
Eye on Earth Core Member [335%] MBTI: XNTX Join Date: Apr 2010 Posts: 13,420	Being apologetic about everything is a waste of everyone's time. Suck it up and just move on.
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01-27-2012, 08:30 PM	#17
dungeonguy88 Member [49%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Dec 2009 Posts: 1,964	I'd prefer it if they knocked the passive-aggressive BS off, rather than apologize for it. There aren't many things that genuinely irritate; I can understand launching emotionally charged insults or attacking someone's character to win an argument. Being passive-aggressive is neither of those, yet manages to combine the two into a repugnant whole of premeditated jackassery. Worse yet, it rarely manages to address the issue, much less solve it. I probably wouldn't respond to anything less than a earnest apology, and even then I would need time ("So you know that you were being a vindictive asshole and kept on going?"). Yeah, it kind of gets under my skin.
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01-27-2012, 09:36 PM	#18
Overanalyzer Banned MBTI: INFJ Join Date: Dec 2011 Posts: 631	Well I normally say hi to people I have had classes with. I'm not the type to pass by with my head looking down so they are and I don't know if that counts. Though when crashing classes, I want to but I get the feeling they are embarrassed to know me do I don't say it because they won't reply by not seeing me or by seeing yet ignoring me.
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01-27-2012, 09:44 PM	#19
Deliberator Core Member [122%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Sep 2008 Posts: 4,884	That's not passive-aggressive but it's always a good idea to apologize if you think you made a negative impression and regretted it later. e.g. "Sorry if I seemed brusque earlier, <insert appropriate excuse here>"
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