[cyd0nia]

I am a volunteer at a local charity. I'd been volunteering there for three months. In the fourth month, an ENFJ female started her volunteering post.

During her first day, I picked up on several indicators of interest from her, and thought it would be a good idea to get her digits. She happily inputted them into my phone.

While we weren't busy volunteering we exchanged humourous and flirtatious text messages. She felt secure and comfortable enough to reveal a lot about her life to me; being adopted, death of foster parent etc...She had begun a search for her birth parents, and wanted me to assist her.

I admit, I was enjoying the relationship, however things got difficult when we returned to volunteering post. She complained that I seemed distant and almost ignored her, unless she explicitly asked for help with what she was doing. This was me being a typical INTJ, focussing on the job and being careful not to mix personal relationships with my work.

She has mixed feelings about me; she likes me a lot, but she stated 'I don't like the array of multiple personas...I prefer what you see is what you get...nothing less, nothing more'

How should I explain this to her?

[Necrosis]

My ENFJ was confused about it at first. But she was very open and willing to listen to me explain MBTI to her. It took a few discussions but since then it hasn't been an issue.

Maybe you can re-iterate your interest in her and then try to explain this to her. If she is anything like my ENFJ she will want to try and have things as clear as possible and communicate about it pretty openly.

[Polymath20]

Well being E she probably doesn't really understand the I need to be alone and independent. She's probably operating under the assumption that everyone, like her, wants to be around other people all the time. When you don't behave within her expectations her F takes over and she "feels" like you're ignoring her but doesn't stop to think "Maybe he's just busy? Maybe he is doing something else in his head?"