Do you hate it when people hit on you?

**Philanthropist** · 01-06-2012, 05:20 PM

I suspect that I may be somewhat unusual in this sense, but I REALLY hate it when people express romantic and/or sexual interest in me. I know it might sound reasonable that we don't relish the thought of someone we aren't attracted to being romantically interested in us, but I've met so many people who are flattered by this kind of attention. I, on the other hand, find it completely repulsive and sickening.

**mozartus** · 01-06-2012, 05:32 PM

I am the same way. It's hard for other perhaps non-INTJ people to get this, but I get extremely annoyed by people I'm not interested in showing interest in me. Especially if I thought we were just friends and they want something more. Can't stand it.

**AnaK** · 01-06-2012, 05:35 PM

Originally Posted by Philanthropist
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I suspect that I may be somewhat unusual in this sense, but I REALLY hate it when people express romantic and/or sexual interest in me. I know it might sound reasonable that we don't relish the thought of someone we aren't attracted to being romantically interested in us, but I've met so many people who are flattered by this kind of attention. I, on the other hand, find it completely repulsive and sickening.

I don't like it or dislike it. I usually just play dumb and they drop it. Then I pretend it never happened. Works pretty well in most cases. I've gotten to the point where a guy can practically be point blank obvious, and if I'm not interested, I'll find a way to take his comment in a completely different way.

**Ghostwheel** · 01-06-2012, 05:55 PM

	Originally Posted by AnaK To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I don't like it or dislike it. I usually just play dumb and they drop it. Then I pretend it never happened. Works pretty well in most cases. I've gotten to the point where a guy can practically be point blank obvious, and if I'm not interested, I'll find a way to take his comment in a completely different way.

If someone is genuinely interested and not playing games, why would you play games yourself instead of just being honest and direct?

**Distance** · 01-06-2012, 06:26 PM

It depends on how you define "hitting on".

Lighthearted flirting can be a way for people to be friendly which is okay as long as it doesn't cross the line into crudeness and both know it's a form of friendliness. I've known so, so many much older men who do this in my business as a way to be friendly and flattering that taking it seriously, is asking to be butt hurt almost 24x7. It's pretty much in one ear and out the other...meaningless social rituals.
Flirting with intent is a different story. If I'm not interested, it's far from flattering or ego boosting. Most often but not always, you KNOW when a guy's interested and he's not just flirting to be friendly. This is when I set boundaries, to clarify that I'm not interested.

**ppu6502** · 01-06-2012, 06:29 PM

I hate it when people "complain" about being hit on #humblebrag

**Distance** · 01-06-2012, 06:31 PM

	Originally Posted by ppu6502 To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I hate it when people "complain" about being hit on #humblebrag

Why do you believe it's a humblebrag? Do you enjoy being hit on by women who you don't find attractive?

**ppu6502** · 01-06-2012, 06:42 PM

Consider that a -massive- portion of this forum's content is centered around people having an incredibly difficult time finding a relationship. I don't think it helps to say "Well, if you're unattractive, just stop trying"

So, no I don't mind if somebody I think is unattractive hits on me. They gave it a shot, in fact they're going to have to give it more shots than more attractive girls will, so it's good they're trying. Every great once in a while, she might get lucky and hit on a guy who isn't shallow.

**Distance** · 01-06-2012, 06:43 PM

Originally Posted by ppu6502
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Consider that a -massive- portion of this forum's content is centered around people having an incredibly difficult time finding a relationship. I don't think it helps to say "Well, if you're unattractive, just stop trying"

So, no I don't mind if somebody I think is unattractive hits on me. They gave it a shot, in fact they're going to have to give it more shots than more attractive girls will, so it's good they're trying.

What if they won't stop hitting on you, knowing you're not interested or that it's inappropriate since you're already in a relationship?

**ppu6502** · 01-06-2012, 06:43 PM

	Originally Posted by Distance To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	What if they won't stop hitting on you?

That's definitely annoying, but it wasn't in the OP.

**Distance** · 01-06-2012, 06:45 PM

	Originally Posted by ppu6502 To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	That's definitely annoying, but it wasn't in the OP.

The OP was pretty wide open considering there's no definition of hitting on, how often, nothing.

That's why in my post, I broke it down between being friendly or serious.

**AnaK** · 01-06-2012, 07:19 PM

	Originally Posted by Ghostwheel To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	If someone is genuinely interested and not playing games, why would you play games yourself instead of just being honest and direct?

To allow them to save face.

**Rivers** · 01-06-2012, 07:20 PM

I hate it when sluts hit on me.

**Zolo** · 01-06-2012, 07:45 PM

I'll take whatever ego booster I can get.

**ZerroDefex** · 01-06-2012, 08:06 PM

Nah, if anything I don't feel that I get hit on enough.

**fiveupstove** · 01-06-2012, 08:10 PM

Hasn't happened to me yet, so I wouldn't know. Or actually it might have a few times, but I was too dumb to notice at the time.

**Distance** · 01-06-2012, 08:13 PM

Hope more people respond since based on the members who have responded, there's a divide between how men and women perceive it, where men are flattered and women aren't. If the trend continues with the gender divide, it might also help explain why men feel women are bragging about disliking being hit on or that women have male friends to stoke their egos.

**thehammer** · 01-06-2012, 08:14 PM

Depends on what mood I'm in, who is doing it, and what I think her motive is. And even though I'm not gay, I always appreciate it when gay men hit on me. Makes me laugh.

**Karatekel** · 01-06-2012, 08:14 PM

I hate when guys hit on me. And by "hit on" I mean the extremely outgoing, racy, often provocative type of flirting. (E.g. intentional made-to-look-like-an-accident groping.) I will instantly lose all respect for a person that hits on me (though oftentimes I never had much respect for the person in the first place).

Now I don't mind mild flirting. Though my definition of flirting is probably different from an ESX's definition. I'm referring to when the guy asks me small-talky questions, but are obviously meant as a way for him to "feel me out".

**Rivers** · 01-06-2012, 08:22 PM

	Originally Posted by Distance To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Hope more people respond since based on the members who have responded, there's a divide between how men and women perceive it, where men are flattered and women aren't. If the trend continues with the gender divide, it might also help explain why men feel women are bragging about disliking being hit on or that women have male friends to stoke their egos.

Well, being hit on is flattering to anyone, male or female, I think. It's just that women are being hit on so much more that they're simply bored, while men usually have to hit on women. It's like having Coke every day for a week, you'll be sick of it. If you have it twice a week, cold, with some burgers and fries, you'll like that shit. For me personally I truly commend girls who have the courage to hit on men but I don't feel comfortable while they're doing it because so far I have had to think of a way to reject them nicely. I would like it if girls were to hit on men a bit more though. Just look at OkC for example, the girls there are mostly like dolls waiting to get picked up, they won't even move a finger, so that really doesn't confirm the theory that girls dislike being hit on.

**Distance** · 01-06-2012, 08:37 PM

Originally Posted by Rivers
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Well, being hit on is flattering to anyone, male or female, I think. It's just that women are being hit on so much more that they're simply bored, while men usually have to hit on women. It's like having Coke every day for a week, you'll be sick of it. If you have it twice a week, cold, with some burgers and fries, you'll like that shit. For me personally I truly commend girls who have the courage to hit on men but I don't feel comfortable while they're doing it because so far I have had to think of a way to reject them nicely. I would like it if girls were to hit on men a bit more though. Just look at OkC for example, the girls there are mostly like dolls waiting to get picked up, they won't even move a finger, so that really doesn't confirm the theory that girls dislike being hit on.

It's not necessarily a volume based issue. It's how you've been hit on aka how crudely and also, now you have to reject the guys and how will they react? Some guys don't take rejection very well, making it YOUR problem.

**Rivers** · 01-06-2012, 08:42 PM

	Originally Posted by Distance To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	It's not necessarily a volume based issue. It's how you've been hit on aka how crudely and also, now you have to reject the guys and how will they react? Some guys don't take rejection very well, making it YOUR problem.

Well, maybe more like crudeness/volume then. Rejection is never nice, if it were, then girls would be more inclined to hit on guys. Gender equality and the gender roles abolishment has gone far in many regards, but still not in this one, which is interesting to note.

**Distance** · 01-06-2012, 08:45 PM

	Originally Posted by Rivers To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Well, maybe more like crudeness/volume then. Rejection is never nice, if it were, then girls would be more inclined to hit on guys. Gender equality and the gender roles abolishment has gone far in many regards, but still not in this one, which is interesting to note.

Regardless of gender, rejection isn't fun for either side which is the point I'm trying to make. That one person is attracted to another who doesn't reciprocate, whereby the one who's rejected has a tantrum over it, making it the other person's problem, is about as immature and self-entitled as it gets.

**Chazzaroo** · 01-06-2012, 08:48 PM

Really not a problem. If the woman is hot it's sort of nice. Specially since women don't usually just charge in and ask. Instead they've got this whole thing with smiling and hair-tossing and back arching and all that if they are halfway hot, is really very, very pleasant.

**Rivers** · 01-06-2012, 08:49 PM

I agree, tantrums are very undesirable and blaming it on others is as stupid as it gets.

01-06-2012, 05:20 PM	#1
Philanthropist Member [34%] MBTI: ENTJ Join Date: Apr 2010 Posts: 1,366	I suspect that I may be somewhat unusual in this sense, but I REALLY hate it when people express romantic and/or sexual interest in me. I know it might sound reasonable that we don't relish the thought of someone we aren't attracted to being romantically interested in us, but I've met so many people who are flattered by this kind of attention. I, on the other hand, find it completely repulsive and sickening.
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01-06-2012, 05:32 PM	#2
mozartus Member [09%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Oct 2010 Posts: 363	I am the same way. It's hard for other perhaps non-INTJ people to get this, but I get extremely annoyed by people I'm not interested in showing interest in me. Especially if I thought we were just friends and they want something more. Can't stand it.
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01-06-2012, 06:26 PM	#5
Distance Core Member [410%] MBTI: eNTj Join Date: Apr 2010 Posts: 16,408	It depends on how you define "hitting on". Lighthearted flirting can be a way for people to be friendly which is okay as long as it doesn't cross the line into crudeness and both know it's a form of friendliness. I've known so, so many much older men who do this in my business as a way to be friendly and flattering that taking it seriously, is asking to be butt hurt almost 24x7. It's pretty much in one ear and out the other...meaningless social rituals. Flirting with intent is a different story. If I'm not interested, it's far from flattering or ego boosting. Most often but not always, you KNOW when a guy's interested and he's not just flirting to be friendly. This is when I set boundaries, to clarify that I'm not interested.
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01-06-2012, 06:29 PM	#6
ppu6502 Special Snowflake MBTI: INTj Join Date: May 2011 Posts: 11,481	I hate it when people "complain" about being hit on #humblebrag
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01-06-2012, 06:42 PM	#8
ppu6502 Special Snowflake MBTI: INTj Join Date: May 2011 Posts: 11,481	Consider that a -massive- portion of this forum's content is centered around people having an incredibly difficult time finding a relationship. I don't think it helps to say "Well, if you're unattractive, just stop trying" So, no I don't mind if somebody I think is unattractive hits on me. They gave it a shot, in fact they're going to have to give it more shots than more attractive girls will, so it's good they're trying. Every great once in a while, she might get lucky and hit on a guy who isn't shallow.
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01-06-2012, 07:20 PM	#13
Rivers Member [14%] MBTI: InTj Join Date: Nov 2011 Posts: 579	I hate it when sluts hit on me.
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01-06-2012, 07:45 PM	#14
Zolo Member [06%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Jul 2011 Posts: 258	I'll take whatever ego booster I can get.
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01-06-2012, 08:06 PM	#15
ZerroDefex Member [17%] MBTI: ISTP Join Date: Oct 2010 Posts: 719	Nah, if anything I don't feel that I get hit on enough.
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01-06-2012, 08:10 PM	#16
fiveupstove New Member [01%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Oct 2011 Posts: 8	Hasn't happened to me yet, so I wouldn't know. Or actually it might have a few times, but I was too dumb to notice at the time.
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01-06-2012, 08:13 PM	#17
Distance Core Member [410%] MBTI: eNTj Join Date: Apr 2010 Posts: 16,408	Hope more people respond since based on the members who have responded, there's a divide between how men and women perceive it, where men are flattered and women aren't. If the trend continues with the gender divide, it might also help explain why men feel women are bragging about disliking being hit on or that women have male friends to stoke their egos.
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01-06-2012, 08:14 PM	#18
thehammer Member [32%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Nov 2011 Posts: 1,308	Depends on what mood I'm in, who is doing it, and what I think her motive is. And even though I'm not gay, I always appreciate it when gay men hit on me. Makes me laugh.
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01-06-2012, 08:14 PM	#19
Karatekel Member [04%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Jul 2011 Posts: 162	I hate when guys hit on me. And by "hit on" I mean the extremely outgoing, racy, often provocative type of flirting. (E.g. intentional made-to-look-like-an-accident groping.) I will instantly lose all respect for a person that hits on me (though oftentimes I never had much respect for the person in the first place). Now I don't mind mild flirting. Though my definition of flirting is probably different from an ESX's definition. I'm referring to when the guy asks me small-talky questions, but are obviously meant as a way for him to "feel me out".
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01-06-2012, 08:48 PM	#24
Chazzaroo Member [06%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Dec 2011 Posts: 252	Really not a problem. If the woman is hot it's sort of nice. Specially since women don't usually just charge in and ask. Instead they've got this whole thing with smiling and hair-tossing and back arching and all that if they are halfway hot, is really very, very pleasant.
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01-06-2012, 08:49 PM	#25
Rivers Member [14%] MBTI: InTj Join Date: Nov 2011 Posts: 579	I agree, tantrums are very undesirable and blaming it on others is as stupid as it gets.
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