[Amar]

So after a huge fight with my mom when I returned from college this summer, I left. I've been living on my own since the beginning of June. I will soon most likely be moving back, not because I want to, but simply because it will be easier for me to go to and from work, and I can save money by commuting from home to school rather than staying in a dorm.


I can't stand being around my mother for long at all. We fight constantly, and even when there is nothing to fight about, she makes something up. I hated every aspect of being on that property, yet I am almost excited to go back...


I can't decide if I am genuinely homesick, or if I am just tired of being hungry everyday. I miss my friends, and I can't wait to see them, but that's not what I'm excited about. I'm actually looking forward to going back to the place I have despised for over 10 years, and living under the dictatorship that is my mother.

What's wrong with me? Sry, just felt like I needed to get that off my chest, and who better to spill my guts to than a bunch of internet strangers? hehe

[searcher]

Whoa whoa....there is something wrong here.
You WANT to go BACK to that?
Hell - if I was you I wouldn't be going anywhere near the place, convenient or no! Especially if I couldn't say anything to my mother without fighting.

[Amar]

I Know! I must be broken or something.

[zibber]

	Originally Posted by Amar To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	What's wrong with me? Sry, just felt like I needed to get that off my chest, and who better to spill my guts to than a bunch of internet strangers? hehe

You are the laughing stock of the internet.

Seriously though, what's hard to understand? I'd take a free room over a crowded, noisy dorm any day, and it's your childhood home base to boot.

Give us some details, though. Does she, like, check your coat pockets and closets and shit? My mother did that and it made me want to move out, but luckily she went before I could.

[Monte314]

Sounds like there is some co-dependence involved here. I suggest that you have a talk with a counselor who can walk you through some of what you are experiencing. And, until you get that figured out... I'd stay away from home.

[Roeder]

Sounds perfectly natural to me. Even though you are annoyed by your mother, she is still your mother. You should never feel ashamed of homesickness. Everyone feels it on some level, whether they vocalize it or not - and you're going through some major changes in your life.

Sit down and think about the arguments you've had with your mother. Consider ways you might be able to neutralize these arguments in the future, or prevent them from happening all together. It'll require compromise but it will help both of you grow beyond this stage in your relationship. Also consider being open with her about your feelings... this doesn't come naturally to some people, myself included, but we must be conscious of our shortcomings and compensate accordingly. Identify any weaknesses of yours with your introspectiveness, and use the knowledge to your advantage by countering them. Take a strategic approach to getting along with her.

Personally, if it were me, I'd put aside the fact that it might be a negative relationship. Emotion can be overcome. If you were to move back home, it sounds like it would simply be more practical. Practicality should be your motivation. It's what will set you up for success, save money and best prepare you for school, so you can land on your feet when you're ready to become fully independent. You're lucky you still have your mother and a home to fall back on.

But only you have all the details, only you can judge... just my two cents from what you've told us.

[Henry]

Originally Posted by Amar To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

So after a huge fight with my mom when I returned from college this summer, I left. I've been living on my own since the beginning of June. I will soon most likely be moving back, not because I want to, but simply because it will be easier for me to go to and from work, and I can save money by commuting from home to school rather than staying in a dorm. I can't stand being around my mother for long at all. We fight constantly, and even when there is nothing to fight about, she makes something up. I hated every aspect of being on that property, yet I am almost excited to go back... I can't decide if I am genuinely homesick, or if I am just tired of being hungry everyday. I miss my friends, and I can't wait to see them, but that's not what I'm excited about. I'm actually looking forward to going back to the place I have despised for over 10 years, and living under the dictatorship that is my mother. What's wrong with me? Sry, just felt like I needed to get that off my chest, and who better to spill my guts to than a bunch of internet strangers? hehe

Run, don't walk, and have sunday dinner with mum. Doesn't sound like there's reason to be around other than that.

[sam988]

What was her reaction when you left, Amar?

[SimplyOtter]

Hello Amar, I don't know how old you are, but when I moved out from my parents' home I was already in my early twenties so I wasn't that young anymore and literally ran away at the first good chance I'd got.... still, every night for months, in my new lonely room, I remember watching out of the window and always thought at that bit in Peter Pan's story when he can't go back...

Still now, after years, when I go back to see my parents I have that weird feeling that that is "the real" home....
Even if I was fighting with my father every day, even if I love my home now, and would never go back to live there.

Human soul is a complicated and delicate environment, full of contradictions and mysteries.
Why every time somebody tries to explore these fascinating and poetic contradictions we have to talk of counselling and co-dependency?
Does everything have to be explained in healthy vs ill behaviour?

Homesickness is longing to find our true home. Sometimes we'd like it could be a physical place like our old family home, so we think of it as it was....

[Cygnus]

I do not think I can relate to homesickness...difference in personality and life experience. I do think if you are going to live at home again, it needs to be more than simple convience for yourself.

[Amar]

	Originally Posted by sam988 To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	What was her reaction when you left, Amar?

I called her up one day, and she pretended that I wasn't her son. :\ She's over it now though, and we get along great. It's just being around each other for extended periods of time when she gets to be... difficult to say the least.


Oh, and I'm only 19. I seriously doubt I would move back except for the practicality of it.


I know she loves me. And wants me to do well, but that's why she is so damn hard to get along with. My older brother was a bad kid. Fights, Jail, Drugs, etc. She kinda sees me as take 2. She doesn't want me to act like my older brother so she is so freakingly ridiculously hard on me about every little thing that I resent her for it. Like seriously, picture a high school junior not allowed outside after dark. It was pathetic.


Now, i can pretty much do as I please. She likes to pick fights with me when she is in a bad mood. I won't be home half the time. Just a place to sleep really, as I will soon have school and a full-time job on my plate.

[NephilimAzrael]

I've endured a similar environment.. It's best to get out in most cases. It allows for a respite and to get on with life. Not to mention that it may put the emotional responsibilities that your mother seems to be attempting to impose on you, to her own attention. She is your mother and it is your home, but it is lso the nest, which ought to be visited - not returned to.

[Seppuku Savant]

Some people get used to mistreatment and because they still continue to live and survive, on a subconscious level they believe those are the conditions needed in order to keep existing. I don't think I personally believe that, but it's merely another perspective.

[hum]

	Originally Posted by Amar To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I can't stand being around my mother for long at all. We fight constantly, and even when there is nothing to fight about, she makes something up.

I can relate to that more than you think.

I don't know what's so hard to understand. homesickness is natural in most people (I guess its because is the place where you had most of your experiences, even though if some of them werent pleasant). I say that you should try to get a peaceful relation with your mother (you know, just try to ignore her fight attempts, keep calm, etc). if it doesn't work then I'd just avoid her as much as I could.

[Grizzly]

Originally Posted by hum To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

I can relate to that more than you think. I don't know what's so hard to understand. homesickness is natural in most people (I guess its because is the place where you had most of your experiences, even though if some of them werent pleasant). I say that you should try to get a peaceful relation with your mother (you know, just try to ignore her fight attempts, keep calm, etc). if it doesn't work then I'd just avoid her as much as I could.

Sounds similar, after you get to the point you can just about support yourself and building your own life, you inevitably fight with Mum and Dad.

I know the budget reasons are the primary point for moving home, but I couldnt do it. I'd find some hovel to share with friends.

but then again going back to a place thats clean and has food to eat in the fridge is enticing. And the security of having BigMother watching over you could be a factor.

After moving out of the house when I was 17 I found that homesickness tends to come and go. Depending on the season, situation, or anything really you might start missing home.