Highly Sensitive Person: how to deal with it

**Tengu** · 12-15-2011, 07:42 AM

Hey guys,

I'm also HSP. I don't have problems with noise and whatnot. But I do have with emotions.
My emotions are stronger when I have them. Nor can I cope with other peeps emotions. They come in too strong. But I'd like to keep my occasional emotions in check. They are too strong too.

Does anyone know how to deal with this? Is there a way to train it or something?

**JulietCapulet** · 12-15-2011, 08:18 AM

I am also that way and I find it's just something you learn to endure, as that is your nature, but it has positive aspects. Be kind to yourself, there is nothing wrong with you.

**Nonsuch** · 12-15-2011, 08:23 AM

There is a tendency for people to get 'thick-skinned' as they get older.

Emotions aren't so extreme the 50th or 100th time something happens to trigger them.

**Tengu** · 12-15-2011, 11:32 AM

Hi guys,

It's not a matter of endurance. It's a matter of behaviour to the world outside. For example, last time I was hitting on a lady. I suck at it but this time I did well. Then she suddenly dropped her shields when she found out we share certain interests. Then her joyful reaction hit me so bad, I made a stupid dumb joke. Game over.

It's always like this. I fuck up constantly. I need to learn to handle other peeps emotions. Also when they get angry, I want to beat the shit out of them. I won't as I'm gentle but I cant help it. Or if somebody I care about (almost nobody tbh) is dissapointed or sad, then I die somewhat inside.

I'm really looking hard to handle this.

**spect** · 12-15-2011, 01:27 PM

	Originally Posted by Tengu To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	.. I made a stupid dumb joke. Game over... I fuck up constantly. I need to learn to handle other peeps emotions. .. I want to beat the shit out of them...somebody I care about ..dissapointed or sad, then I die somewhat inside...

it may not be difficulty in handling emotions, i dont know, but it might be where the emotions are coming from. i'm honestly not trying to make something personal of this, because your wording makes me sense you definately struggle. you have some self defeating perceptions, are challenged to deal with some pretty strong emotions, repressed anger, associations to pain... i sincerely hope its just having a tough time dealing with them. sorry you go through that.

**Tengu** · 12-16-2011, 12:06 AM

Maybe you're right and I didn't find the core of this lack of emotion management. I was born being INTJ and HSP but somehow the HSP has been amplified. Must be the work. When I was an INTJ mainly I could beat the world and that's how I got my wonderful job.

That must be it. I don't feel there's enough space for me to be who I am. Maybe I need to have fun again.

Thanks for making me think about the core of all this.

**Zhen** · 12-16-2011, 01:54 AM

Hey I empathise with your problem...but I haven't worked out a solution yet...what work do you do? I find certain kinds of jobs aren't really suited to us...

I think loner jobs with little personalised interaction are much easier on a daily basis...I guess you need to learn to have a boundary with others...

some holistic methods might be helpful to try...I'd say try seeing some holistic practitioner and tell them you have boundary/empath issues.

Avoidance of known trigger people is probably the best interim/temporary solution...

**Tengu** · 12-16-2011, 03:09 AM

Hey zhen. I did visit a holistic counselor. Being anti pseudoscience as I am it went horribly wrong...

My job has something to do with data analysis, I don't like to use expensive words, so forgive me for not explaining. I feel the job is wonderful. It's not that. But you're right, the people are in my way. They're too irrational. I can't cope with that. I'm blaming myself.

**Zhen** · 12-16-2011, 03:15 AM

there is a solution...become self employed
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i HATED working in corporate and having...colleagues...

the problem tho is this concept of the personal boundary is only really appreciated as a real one by pseudoscientists
To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

	Originally Posted by Tengu To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Hey zhen. I did visit a holistic counselor. Being anti pseudoscience as I am it went horribly wrong... My job has something to do with data analysis, I don't like to use expensive words, so forgive me for not explaining. I feel the job is wonderful. It's not that. But you're right, the people are in my way. They're too irrational. I can't cope with that. I'm blaming myself.

**Tengu** · 12-16-2011, 04:20 AM

Awesome you decided to be self emplyed!
But you're pushing it with the rest of your comment :D.

**Vulture** · 12-16-2011, 07:08 AM

perhaps there is a dietary solution/issue?

when i was in my early 20's i drank a LOT of sodas and alcohols. i feel that had a lot to do with how i reacted to stimuli.

spect's above comment also should be something to seriously consider (from personal experience)

**Tengu** · 12-16-2011, 10:52 AM

Yeah Vulture, Spect was right. I need to go to the core of the problems. I went emotional after two years of stress at work I notice. Maybe it helps if I could find a hobby or something. I don't care about much. Folks tell me to go to places with women, but I don't need so many peeps. So I"m kinda stuck I feel.

But thanks man.

**omniblade** · 12-16-2011, 11:12 AM

I am HSP. I tend to work out and meditate a lot as a way of helping myself. I spend a lot of time in solitude too. I will go and hang out a few times a week but often I need a lot of "me" time to recuperate after socializing.

Running outside has helped me the most...

12-15-2011, 07:42 AM	#1
Tengu Veteran Member [56%] MBTI: INTj Join Date: Dec 2011 Posts: 2,280	Hey guys, I'm also HSP. I don't have problems with noise and whatnot. But I do have with emotions. My emotions are stronger when I have them. Nor can I cope with other peeps emotions. They come in too strong. But I'd like to keep my occasional emotions in check. They are too strong too. Does anyone know how to deal with this? Is there a way to train it or something?
Tengu is offline post a comment

12-15-2011, 08:18 AM	#2
JulietCapulet Veteran Member [96%] MBTI: XNFX Join Date: May 2010 Posts: 3,865	I am also that way and I find it's just something you learn to endure, as that is your nature, but it has positive aspects. Be kind to yourself, there is nothing wrong with you.
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12-15-2011, 08:23 AM	#3
Nonsuch Member [32%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Aug 2010 Posts: 1,301	There is a tendency for people to get 'thick-skinned' as they get older. Emotions aren't so extreme the 50th or 100th time something happens to trigger them.
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12-15-2011, 11:32 AM	#4
Tengu Veteran Member [56%] MBTI: INTj Join Date: Dec 2011 Posts: 2,280	Hi guys, It's not a matter of endurance. It's a matter of behaviour to the world outside. For example, last time I was hitting on a lady. I suck at it but this time I did well. Then she suddenly dropped her shields when she found out we share certain interests. Then her joyful reaction hit me so bad, I made a stupid dumb joke. Game over. It's always like this. I fuck up constantly. I need to learn to handle other peeps emotions. Also when they get angry, I want to beat the shit out of them. I won't as I'm gentle but I cant help it. Or if somebody I care about (almost nobody tbh) is dissapointed or sad, then I die somewhat inside. I'm really looking hard to handle this.
Tengu is offline post a comment

12-16-2011, 12:06 AM	#6
Tengu Veteran Member [56%] MBTI: INTj Join Date: Dec 2011 Posts: 2,280	Maybe you're right and I didn't find the core of this lack of emotion management. I was born being INTJ and HSP but somehow the HSP has been amplified. Must be the work. When I was an INTJ mainly I could beat the world and that's how I got my wonderful job. That must be it. I don't feel there's enough space for me to be who I am. Maybe I need to have fun again. Thanks for making me think about the core of all this.
Tengu is offline post a comment

12-16-2011, 01:54 AM	#7
Zhen Veteran Member [66%] MBTI: INfx Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 2,641	Hey I empathise with your problem...but I haven't worked out a solution yet...what work do you do? I find certain kinds of jobs aren't really suited to us... I think loner jobs with little personalised interaction are much easier on a daily basis...I guess you need to learn to have a boundary with others... some holistic methods might be helpful to try...I'd say try seeing some holistic practitioner and tell them you have boundary/empath issues. Avoidance of known trigger people is probably the best interim/temporary solution...
Zhen is offline post a comment

12-16-2011, 03:09 AM	#8
Tengu Veteran Member [56%] MBTI: INTj Join Date: Dec 2011 Posts: 2,280	Hey zhen. I did visit a holistic counselor. Being anti pseudoscience as I am it went horribly wrong... My job has something to do with data analysis, I don't like to use expensive words, so forgive me for not explaining. I feel the job is wonderful. It's not that. But you're right, the people are in my way. They're too irrational. I can't cope with that. I'm blaming myself.
Tengu is offline post a comment

12-16-2011, 04:20 AM	#10
Tengu Veteran Member [56%] MBTI: INTj Join Date: Dec 2011 Posts: 2,280	Awesome you decided to be self emplyed! But you're pushing it with the rest of your comment :D.
Tengu is offline post a comment

12-16-2011, 07:08 AM	#11
Vulture Member [49%] MBTI: intj Join Date: Nov 2011 Posts: 1,968	perhaps there is a dietary solution/issue? when i was in my early 20's i drank a LOT of sodas and alcohols. i feel that had a lot to do with how i reacted to stimuli. spect's above comment also should be something to seriously consider (from personal experience)
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12-16-2011, 10:52 AM	#12
Tengu Veteran Member [56%] MBTI: INTj Join Date: Dec 2011 Posts: 2,280	Yeah Vulture, Spect was right. I need to go to the core of the problems. I went emotional after two years of stress at work I notice. Maybe it helps if I could find a hobby or something. I don't care about much. Folks tell me to go to places with women, but I don't need so many peeps. So I"m kinda stuck I feel. But thanks man.
Tengu is offline post a comment

12-16-2011, 11:12 AM	#13
omniblade Member [48%] MBTI: ENTP Join Date: Nov 2011 Posts: 1,929	I am HSP. I tend to work out and meditate a lot as a way of helping myself. I spend a lot of time in solitude too. I will go and hang out a few times a week but often I need a lot of "me" time to recuperate after socializing. Running outside has helped me the most...
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