[ModernLit]

I had one today about someone i rarely think about (because i'm sure that's about how much he ever thinks about me back, plus he's sort of a big jerk that I met online)... and it was superweird. I think we hung out because he was going to tell me he just got engaged and wanted to be supersure there was nothing else going on between us (so manipulative and awful, and I was so happy to see him and then i got really MAD when i found out he was just trying to have sex with me 'one last time'). Somehow I end up in his room that he shares with his gf/fiance, and she comes home so he shoves me in the CLOSET. of course she looks through the place and i'm like, "boo." And they are talking about me like I'm not in their apartment. We don't like each other at all but apparently she's putting up with his seeing his ex's "one last time." This is a completely ridiculous dream.

I end up leaving, and then *coming back upstairs* for some reason. There is still a collage I made for the guy up on his bedroom wall, but there's also a bunch of girly things taking over around it and in the rest of the place. The girl is making dinner and the guy is wearing two pairs of her underwear around his neck, basically to show me how in love with her he is and what colors her undies are. i'm annoyed. i make them get dinner with me, so the girl has to abandon her cooking. awkward. at least she puts on a shirt so we can leave their apartment all together.

the door shuts behind us and I wake up. How messed up is my head?

[Distance]

Messed up? No. As a complete pulled straight outta my ass guess, something in your life (he's symbolic of it) has made you feel devalued.

I've also had some pretty strange ones of ex's. Unfortunately, can't recall the details...or maybe fortunately and possibly deliberately!

[freeeekyyy]

Dreams don't make sense. This is a given.

[changos]

What did you feel during the dream??

Dreams are a confusing realm where humans try to find mystical meanings, even if we know for sure what we want. But overall, it seems that what you feel is directly related to parts of your reality, I mean, fear, anxiety, stalking, etc. Sometimes this is very obvious a pure confirmation of what we feel in reality but we try to find meaning on it.

	Originally Posted by ModernLit To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	How messed up is my head?

I'll say don't lose sleep, don't worry about it.

[ModernLit]

	Originally Posted by changos To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	What did you feel during the dream??

mostly annoyed and hurt, which is how waking life makes me feel, too. i'd like a mystical meaning to the dreams i actually remember, i guess (since it's rare).

...although maybe you're right and it doesn't mean anything. it would be nice to predict the future in my dreams, though, so if i find my dream man i'll be able to recognize him!

[CaelestisPeste]

What else happened the day before the dream? There's usually something that triggers it, even if it's a subtle observation or encounter. Strange dreams also tend to happen depending on the diet as well.

[ModernLit]

	Originally Posted by CaelestisPeste To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	What else happened the day before the dream? There's usually something that triggers it, even if it's a subtle observation or encounter. Strange dreams also tend to happen depending on the diet as well.

nothing too interesting. it could be a remnant of something, but i don't know what of. i don't recall eating anything interesting, either--i sort of stick to the same things mostly.

[CaelestisPeste]

Well, thanks for debunking my assumptions. Maybe your dream is telling you to get another companion to make your ex jealous?

Are you feeling any jealousy with him getting married?

[ModernLit]

	Originally Posted by CaelestisPeste To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Well, thanks for debunking my assumptions. Maybe your dream is telling you to get another companion to make your ex jealous? Are you feeling any jealousy with him getting married?

i actually don't know if he's really getting married. he might be. he once said that she was boring and the marrying kind and i was the amazing tumultuous relationship of his 20s. ugh. really? why doesn't anyone want to marry meeeee? i'm jealous of everyone that's happy.

[CaelestisPeste]

Have you started dating other people or has he been your only relationship?

[ModernLit]

he was the last one i had before i moved and it was our second time trying to have a relationship. but i was replaced by the new girl in 2 weeks. i was kinda upset about that. he was all, "i love youuuu don't leaveee meee" and in 2 weeks he has a new girlfriend? wtf?

i dated my neighbor for 8 months here, until he moved to the place i had just moved FROM. i am all alone now.

[CaelestisPeste]

Well, that's his fault. Now, it's time for you to get back on that horse and find your Prince Charming.
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At least you haven't always been alone. What's that saying? "It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."

[spect]

	Originally Posted by ModernLit To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	mostly annoyed and hurt, which is how waking life makes me feel, too. ..although maybe you're right and it doesn't mean anything.

annoyed and hurt, ok, but you were being used with a sense of betrayal. my guess is recently coming into contact with someone that you blocked those feelings and experience with, or an imagined closeness with them that made you sense the same anxiety.

or maybe not

[changos]

	Originally Posted by ModernLit To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	mostly annoyed and hurt, which is how waking life makes me feel, too. i'd like a mystical meaning to the dreams i actually remember, i guess (since it's rare). ...although maybe you're right and it doesn't mean anything. it would be nice to predict the future in my dreams, though, so if i find my dream man i'll be able to recognize him!

This is just my opinion talking about me and close friends dreams: we have way more data on real life compared to our dreams, but somehow the vast majority tries to decode their dreams, I agree it's intriguing but we must avoid this dangerous curiosity that might push us to seek something where there is less light...

[AngryGroceries]

Well for one, I don't think marriage itself is a worthy end-goal.

I think part of the reason there are so many divorces is that people treat marriage as an end goal and quit trying for the betterment of the relationship afterwards. Partially for this reason I could happily be in a 'boyfriend\girlfriend' relationship indefinitely without marriage. I see marriage as something to be done once you decide to have children, if that.

I also think you don't really start seeing the true long term dynamic of a relationship until 3-5 years into one.

I notice my dreams are an odd mixture of recent (and significant) thoughts and feelings mixed with completely random ones, as if neurons are randomly reorganizing themselves as I'm sleeping.

Yours seems to have jealousy, disgust, and your ex-boyfriend.
I'd say that's pretty normal.

[ModernLit]

	Originally Posted by AngryGroceries To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I notice my dreams are an odd mixture of recent (and significant) thoughts and feelings mixed with completely random ones, as if neurons are randomly reorganizing themselves as I'm sleeping. Yours seems to have jealousy, disgust, and your ex-boyfriend. I'd say that's pretty normal.

oh, there'a also angst and death, the occasional flying dream, and weird ones where a friend of mine that i like a lot is out to get me (and apparently she recently had a dream about me where i am out to get HER! haha, dream revenge). i've stopped having the dreams where i see myself dying over and over again. so i guess this is an improvement? i also had one where i was on a conveyor belt that recurred many, many times during my childhood.

p.s. advantage of marriage: taxes. also, women get pretty jewelry and the guy is supposed to wear a ring that is supposed to let other women know to stay away. there are other things like life insurance and access to stuff that people just in a relationship don't have access to, and certain things like being able to ride in an ambulance saying you're the wife? there was one instance of me trying to pick up medication for my very sick ex that moved where i came from, and waiting for almost an hour just to be told that since we're not family members i'm unable to sign for his medication. ughhh. i was sorta pissed about that. but we weren't gonna run out and get married just so i could pick up his medication for when he couldn't get it himself... and he has to survive without me, i guess. because he moved! and started smoking again! bleh.

[DrCiao]

He's keeping his relationship with you "in the closet." Quite possibly because he's gay.

The relationship he has with his current fiancée is acceptable outwardly, and you have anger/resentment over that. On the other side of the coin, his fiancée also suspects his extra-curricular activities, but she is busy pretending not to notice.
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Hope this helps

[ModernLit]

Originally Posted by DrCiao To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

He's keeping his relationship with you "in the closet." Quite possibly because he's gay. The relationship he has with his current fiancée is acceptable outwardly, and you have anger/resentment over that. On the other side of the coin, his fiancée also suspects his extra-curricular activities, but she is busy pretending not to notice. To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Hope this helps

teehee. i like that interpretation. although, he is really less gay than i am, and neither of us are gay, so... eh. i kept saying he should make out with this hot guy in his lab because i had a little crush on the lab-mate, but he never did. he DID tell the guy though that i had a crush on him and apparently everyone laughed about it. ugh. he's still a jerk. i think that was the point of the dream.

[DrCiao]

Originally Posted by ModernLit To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

teehee. i like that interpretation. although, he is really less gay than i am, and neither of us are gay, so... eh. i kept saying he should make out with this hot guy in his lab because i had a little crush on the lab-mate, but he never did. he DID tell the guy though that i had a crush on him and apparently everyone laughed about it. ugh. he's still a jerk. i think that was the point of the dream.

There is an interesting Japanese novel discussing this theme- of when a gay man marries a woman for social appearances:


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[BuShinJu]

It seems to me that you may have suspected he was seeing someone else at the same time. The two pairs of underwear may be both hers and yours that is 'The boy has two girls hanging from his neck'. When she comes over you are hidden in the closet, out of sight, he still sees her and has a separate relationship with her, and you can see their relationship. But she knows about you too, she knows you are there in his life. Your presence in their relationship forces them to make other plans, they have to work around you, changing the plans that they had made. You still all leave together.

[ModernLit]

i had this other ex that randomly called and left a message thursday night. i was at a play. anyway, i freaked out about it.

two days later i realized i had sent him an email from my old hotmail address to HIS old hotmail address, and that's the reason he was manipulated into thinking about me. we had a 45 minute phone conversation in the middle of which he told me his girlfriend "attacked" him. i sort of made a joke about it but i got all ruffled about it. hrumph.

then i promptly called my most recent ex and talked to HIM for 45 minutes... and felt a little better. i have crushes on both of them, a little bit, and for different reasons.

the spooky thing i realized is they have similar voices.
i think i'll have weird dreams tonight... ugh. why do i do this to myself?

[Muse]

	Originally Posted by ModernLit To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	i think i'll have weird dreams tonight... ugh. why do i do this to myself?

because you enjoy it.

[Selene]

None as far as I can remember. I dreamt of exes when in a relationship with them, or shortly after the break up. Dreams were never strange, I think they were symbolic of my feelings at those given moments.

Have you considered unresolved issues if you're having strange dreams?

[Muse]

You are into acting right? Since that is a socially creative hobby I don't think it is too strange to have equally creative and strange dreams. A blend of your life and your hobby.

Same happens to me. A blend of school, work, games, sports, and family/friends with negative topics in the dreams at times.

Once when I was a teen I had a dream that my dad was trying to catch something heavy that fell from a building, and it ripped his arms off. It really freaked me out and I told him about it. He said "hmm.. Sounds like whatever I was trying to catch caught me."

Jokes can make dealing with the strange dreams much easier.

[gracious]

Is it too soon to talk to your new INFJ friend about it?