[Tranceman80]

Hey all, new guy here...

Anyways, I'm in my early 30's and throughout dating and relationships, I've been told by girls "you're different", or, "you're different from most guys". They say it in a way in which they sort of marvel at me and are curious; it's always in a good way that seems to keep their interest.

I'm wondering if other INTJ's get that?

[MyotisLucifugus]

Female, and yes, I get it constantly. I'd say the majority of those comments aren't positive, but every once in a while someone comes along and finds me amusingly different. Most of the time people treat me like a continuous fart machine.

[changos]

	Originally Posted by Tranceman80 To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I'm wondering if other INTJ's get that?

Yep, all the time, I also get "I thought I had you figured out but every month something new comes along". We could be into karate and chess, disco music and classical, or gardening, cooking and MTB.

[TheStranger]

My psyche tells me this all the time, I stay away from romantic relationships because of it, and simply plutonic ones as well, for the most part (as of right now I don't have a "friend" in the world, that one punk rock singer was right, freedom is lonely).

[ManWithNoName]

I've been called mysterious by a few girls.
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Yeah in a way I think INTJs tend to be more admired than actually dated. Well, the ones that aren't misanthropic. It's kind of like, oh you're neat and interesting! But so much so I have a hard time picturing myself with you.

[TheStranger]

It's interesting that someone could be incredily misanthropic and still fool the other partner into thinking they have feelings for them.

The mere notion is one of the things that makes me weary of getting into a relationship.

[momorawr]

	Originally Posted by MyotisLucifugus To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Female, and yes, I get it constantly. I'd say the majority of those comments aren't positive, but every once in a while someone comes along and finds me amusingly different. Most of the time people treat me like a continuous fart machine.

What does a fart machine get treated like?

[druggie]

female. yup, i get called "different" all the time by guys. it comes in a variety of forms ranging from "odd" to "manly." i think it's more acceptable for guys to be intj than girls cause intj's kinda like the stereotypical guy. personally, i found most guys i know too sissy.

[PurpleGiraffe]

I get "weird" a lot, from a lot of people. Actually come to think of it, I get that from my mom a lot, and just got called it a couple days ago. I'm frankly a little surprised by that since my father is an INTP and I have two INTP brothers and an INFJ sister who all share similar interests, but somehow *I* am the weird one. I think it's just because I let my freak flag fly more freely than they do at times.
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I think we tend to come across as mysterious to a lot of people, because I've also gotten that frequently, but I haven't found it to be a problem in the least. I mean, as long as you are also able to make a woman feel comfortable, then it can initially be a very good thing for attracting girls to you.

[Velocitii]

yes, but i haven't figured out if it's a good thing or bad thing yet.

[Wilderness]

Yes, all the time.

In fact, the new guy I'm dating, an INTJ, is kind of confused that there could be a woman like me, which is to say, like him.

[Tranceman80]

I've always taken this "being different" as the one ace up my sleeve - I know that no matter what, the girl I'm with would be hard pressed to find another guy like me. So, while it sucks being an INTJ sometimes due to being "weird" (read, not understood) and a small part of the population, we do at the same time have great value due to that rarity. Once I started seeing this as a potential positive, my confidence went up considerably.

[thehammer]

All the time. They also say "I'd like to see the world through your eyes." And I always respond, "You sure about that?"

[Muse]

Different is definitely a word i hear often. Usually the person means it in a positive and interested way. But i don't think they realize how much of a pain in the ass it can be.

	Originally Posted by ManWithNoName To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	It's kind of like, oh you're neat and interesting! But so much so I have a hard time picturing myself with you.

Wow. Dude. That pretty much is it, isn't it? Like, thats the whole thing... Shit.

Add a "But so much so after X time (three months to three years) I have a hard time picturing myself with you any more" and that pretty much sums up most of my serious relationships.

Originally Posted by Tranceman80 To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

I've always taken this "being different" as the one ace up my sleeve - I know that no matter what, the girl I'm with would be hard pressed to find another guy like me. So, while it sucks being an INTJ sometimes due to being "weird" (read, not understood) and a small part of the population, we do at the same time have great value due to that rarity. Once I started seeing this as a potential positive, my confidence went up considerably.

So far for me, it just means they remember me forever and sometimes try to 'come back' because i am missed.

[Anemoi]

	Originally Posted by Tranceman80 To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I've been told by girls "you're different", or, "you're different from most guys".

	Originally Posted by ManWithNoName To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I've been called mysterious by a few girls. To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Yeah in a way I think INTJs tend to be more admired than actually dated. Well, the ones that aren't misanthropic. It's kind of like, oh you're neat and interesting! But so much so I have a hard time picturing myself with you.

	Originally Posted by Muse To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Wow. Dude. That pretty much is it, isn't it? Like, thats the whole thing... Shit.

Yes, yes and yes. It will happen every single time, and it's only a matter of minutes until they realize I am, to use the OP word, different. Often regarded as odd an unconventional too. Then some kind of admiration appears, but more of a detached kind of admiration. I think of a museum sculpture: yes it is a nice object of art with oh so many things but I don't think I want it home.

Or the "I'll put you as an example for other people" kind of admiration. And also you can become a bank of answers for so many questions that require deep reasoning. On the flip side, I think this is not only in the dating arena since pretty much everywhere it's the people and you
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.

There's also a patronizing "You're different" as an euphemism of "You're very weird in a bad way".

[Distance]

Not only INTJs. My friends call me eccentric, when they're feeling kind!
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[liningSilver]

My INTJ boyfriend seemed fascinatingly weird to me at first
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it was awesome.

I think the problem with INTJ's and relationships come from the fact that the other person doesn't think you're warm or empathetic enough. Probably you're all shrouded in a veil of intellectualism that frankly doesn't let the other person know you're 'into' them. Also, all the action in your life seems to go on inside your brains, but on the outside you seem so far removed that it's sometimes hard to broach the distance.

I think that 'distance' people feel results in the comment of 'weird'! But I don't necessarily think it's a bad thing
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I think you're fascinating people with the richest internal workings that I've ever seen, and I find it awfully fun bringing the silliness out of you!

[CaelestisPeste]

I'm different. Some people think I belong in a mental ward. Those people are in my head.

I would assume it's the conversations, as INTJs are normally more intuitive and tend to deconstruct everything; not much for small talk either, although I don't personally mind it once in a while -- depends on the people: a few minorities.

I don't believe I've ever been called different, maybe weird: my questions and answers tend to be abstract. I please the minority, not the majority.

[Awesome]

Haha only on rare occasions. The rest think I am a player. Which I am not. I do enjoy flirting with people in a obvious strange fashion.

"Are your legs tired?"
-"why cause i have been running through your mind all day?"
"no, cause your hot"

"are you from Tennessee?"
-"good one... because i am the only ten you see?"
"no, cause your hot"

Plus I will flirt with girls I am not even interested in only because I know they will flirt back or appreciate the subtle compliment.

[Thinktress]

I get "you're different" a lot. I'm not usually in receipt of any signals - either verbal or non-verbal - implying that it's "in a good way." If any marveling is done on their part, it's usually over the fact that such an attractive, smart girl could be so weird.

[MyotisLucifugus]

	Originally Posted by momorawr To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	What does a fart machine get treated like?

Like
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, only without the dancing chickens.

I stand (fart?) alone, it appears.

[mllebrie]

Are you kidding? "You're different" is practically my name. I get it from just about everyone I know.

[Reddkatz]

I get weird a lot, and interesting. Not interesting enough to date though. I also keep my true self away from strangers so people don't really know what to think of me besides that quiet girl in their class or at work or whatever.

[PhantomStranger]

	Originally Posted by Tranceman80 To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Hey all, new guy here... Anyways, I'm in my early 30's and throughout dating and relationships, I've been told by girls "you're different", or, "you're different from most guys". They say it in a way in which they sort of marvel at me and are curious; it's always in a good way that seems to keep their interest. I'm wondering if other INTJ's get that?

All the time and not just from women. I think it could be the INTJ thing but I’m not 100% sure. It does seem I look at the world in a very different way than most people and women find that very Intriguing.

Although I do have an ENTJ friend that gets this from women too, but he like me has made it a goal to improve in the area of understanding women, relationships and dating etc. But most of my life I have heard this comment

---------- Post added 12-02-2011 at 09:07 AM ----------

	Originally Posted by MyotisLucifugus To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Female, and yes, I get it constantly. I'd say the majority of those comments aren't positive, but every once in a while someone comes along and finds me amusingly different. Most of the time people treat me like a continuous fart machine.

Hmm… its interesting the INTJ traits that make a man more attractive to a women seem to have the opposite effect when the gender is reversed. I have an INTP friend and she gets the same shit. Yet she is an amazing and unique woman.

[Cooper]

Every single woman I have ever dated has said that I am different.