[AlyssC01]

Recently, I had a bit of a... unique experience.
I come from a country where criminals are allowed to do pretty much what they please, so crime is a fairly 'constant' in our lives. You learn to be cautious, you learn to be careful. But, sometimes, it strikes you despite everything that you try and prevent it because you experienced one moment of lapsed judgement.
I was driving home from work five days ago and had to travel through a rough part of town. I drive there often though, sometimes as many as four of five times a week. Nothing's ever happened. I've been lucky.

On Wednesday though, it was hot. I had my window open which I normamly never do here. (I close it up and then open it again when I'm in a safer place). A guy came to stand beside my window. He acted like he was going to beg for money, but then I saw he had a knife. Tried to close my window but he got the knife in first and tried to stab me. I grabbed the knife, don't know how I did this without cutting myself and twisted it in such a manner that it's against his skin. He didn't let go of it but we had a bit of a struggle. I tried to drive off but he turned off my car and tried to take the key. I kicked his hand against my steeringwheel with my knee (as my hands were still holding the knife against him). He let go of my key and started scratching me to let go of his wrist. I twisted it untill I felt something snap. He cried out and let go of the knife. This gave me the chance to get away. Turned the car on and sped off. Threw the knife out on the next turn. I wasn't cut through all of this.

In a nutshell, I was almost hijacked. I was shaken when I got home, but angry more than anything else. I didn't sleep for two days, but managed to finally rest out and collect myself over the weekend. I told people that I'm fine and I thought that I was.
But, this week - I'm anxious. I have to drive a lot for work and have a cold pit in my stomach every time I get into the car. I've rationalised it as shock. I've tried logic, saying that the chances of it happening again are less than zero. And, I believe myself, but the truth is that I'm still scared.

And, for the first time in my life, I'm unsure of how to deal with it. What do I have to do? Do I wait it out? Do I go to a trauma counsellor? I've never held with such things. I'm all about iron control. But, clearly - I'm not coping. I recognize that, but I don't know how to fix it.

Any opinions would be appreciated. Am I just to hard on myself and do I have to give myself more time to get over this or what?
I hope I'm not sounding too whiny.

[Cooper]

I would suggest at least one meeting with a counselor. I have PTSD and it helps to talk things out. The sooner the better, that way you can learn coping skills.

[spect]

really sorry it happened and no, you're not whiny at all. its normal to feel confused and not comfortable talking about it.

second the meeting suggestion, cant hurt to talk with a trauma specialist and there are specific treatments for it. since its once and soon, you should have a decent chance of resolving it relatively easy.

you actually dont want to avoid thinking about it, just dont obsess over it. rationalizing will only work so much, there is emotional damage that rationalizing wont fix and you obviously need to heal. if you avoid thinking about it at all, you end up repressing into your unconscious where it will hit you in ways that you're not ready to deal with, like triggering. an example is triggering the anxiety you feel when you are getting into your car even when you are safe, if you repress it will spread the anxiety to be triggered by other things.

might want to
To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
to get a decent understanding how its effecting you. telling people you are ok probably isnt helping, good friends will give you much needed emotional support. an example is sharing your experience here and getting positive feedback, it helps, and i bet you feel just a little bit better
To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

[TrickyD]

The above advice is pretty sound.

A sawn off shotgun might be useful also
To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

[kijiji]

Man that gives me the shivers and a knot in my stomach just thinking about it! Whiny? Hell no. I don't know what to advise apart from counselling as others have suggested and to reitierate that your reaction is perfectly normal and understandable. Ugh. What a horrid experience!

[Midichlorianite]

I'm in a similar country and have been struck quite a few times by the results of a shitty government and lazy police force. It's an opportunity to get wiser and grow stronger, do not dwell on the trauma but try to improve on it. Let it be experience for similar events so that you can react faster, smarter and be more in control. The reality of our countries are that it happens once and can happen again, only thing we can do is adapt and survive.

[AlyssC01]

Thank you everybody. I think what I needed to hear was that what I am going through is normal. I've resolved to see someone (if only once to get the experience out) and yes, surprisingly, I feel better now that I've shared and heard other people's opinion about it. And, I was told that I have to be less hard on myself. (hard thing for an INTJ, lol).

So thank you very much for your advice and your time.
And yes, lol, a sawed off shotgun would be PERFECT. I've been debating getting a massive pitbull terrier and stuffing it into the back of my car. And feeding it beggars. lol.
But that too shall pass, lol.
To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.



To AnimusDementis - I suspect we come from the same patch of land we call home.

[plotthickens]

Your response is normal. If you deny it, it may get worse. If you deal with it now (the sooner the better) it will get better. Please go see someone (I hope you've made an appointment) and be honest, and take all the time and help you need to get better.

[labrarotta]

	Originally Posted by plotthickens To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Your response is normal. If you deny it, it may get worse. If you deal with it now (the sooner the better) it will get better. Please go see someone (I hope you've made an appointment) and be honest, and take all the time and help you need to get better.

I agree, your response is very normal. I pretty much can understand your feelings, AlyssC01. Many years ago, a boyfriend (diagnozed psychopath) I had, tried to throw me out of the window while I was sleeping (without clothes, naturally). There was over -20 celsius cold and he had already thrown all my clothes out.

It's horrible to think what could happen in situations, where you have to face injury or even death. I hope you'll get better and over to this scary incident, and remember to keep in your mind, that your responses you're going trough at this moment are normal.
To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

[Still Standing]

	Originally Posted by AlyssC01 To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	So thank you very much for your advice and your time. And yes, lol, a sawed off shotgun would be PERFECT. I've been debating getting a massive pitbull terrier and stuffing it into the back of my car. And feeding it beggars. lol.

A simpler solution (and less PTSD-like reaction) would be to learn from the experience and keep the window closed next time.

[Wongette]

I was assaulted before and for many weeks afterwards, did not feel safe. My doctor recommended changing the locks in my case, and gave me anti-anxiety medication. I didn't go see a therapist because I just didn't feel like talking about my feelings with a stranger. I also couldn't talk about it with any friends or family I was close to because the whole thing tended to distress them and I would end up reassuring them. I could talk to police, etc. about the facts of what happened, but had a real aversion to emotionally processing it with anyone.

But I did end up writing about what happened (for an affidavit). I found the act of writing about it helpful, even though going through the criminal case was also difficult. A year later, I wrote a fictional story where the main character was assaulted. By then, I didn't even think about it any more and had really started to forget what had happened.

So I guess the bottom line is to process this in the way you are comfortable. Find ways to take control of the situation, and be able to identify your own emotions. Let yourself feel all the emotions, because the fastest way through this is just to feel them.

Let us know how you are doing.

[Chronicsleeper]

That's not whiny at all.

Whiny has a more...irritating tone to it, and usually about something that is not the life threatening situation you went through.

The advice people previously gave is very sound. And take some time to get over it. If that happened to me, my paranoia would skyrocket from its already high state. Just keep calm and if someone tries it again, you can always shove a barrel up his or her nose. Or mouth.

[Wilderness]

A self defense class may help you feel more secure and in control. Though judging by your quick reaction to the attack, it sounds like you might have already taken one!

[Seablue]

Rationalizing will not work for at least one (but also more) very simple reason : as you said, it could happen again. Statistically unlikely, perhaps, but still, it's not unreasonable to worry about it happening again. Which is why, obviously, reason won't reassure you a lot.

So as others have said, no you're not whiny, and yes you should talk to someone who knows about trauma (not just family and friends, they can support you of course but they are powerless to deal with the more profound consequences).

[spect]

	Originally Posted by Wongette To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I found the act of writing about it helpful, even though going through the criminal case was also difficult. ... So I guess the bottom line is to process this in the way you are comfortable. Find ways to take control of the situation, and be able to identify your own emotions. Let yourself feel all the emotions, because the fastest way through this is just to feel them.

thats a good suggestion for most traumatic events, and i like how you put it with 'processing'. trauma is psychological pain that cant be processed, the mind will block off the painful experience a victim cant handle as a defense to protect themselves from being overwhelmed by it.

we naturally replay different situations in our memory all the time, sometimes backtracking if we lost something or made a mistake that we dont want to repeat. less traumatic experiences are handled the same, we replay it over time and the pain is lessened on each, until we can think about it without it effecting us. thats how we usually heal from painful experiences. writing it out, or talking it out a little bit at a time is manageable, and often dissolves the pain.


whats also fascinating to me is how the mind lies to or tricks itself when it blocks these things out. i guess thats why it doesnt always work the best, or i dont completely understand it yet. confusion is normal after blocking memories and repressing emotions, because its the mind's way of saying the flow and internal mechanics is not working like they normally do. so after blocking, it seems our mind knows when something is missing or wrong with itself, and still tries to find the gaps in memory and fix those strange emotions that are disconnected from the source. thats how i look at triggering and flashbacks.

[Sumwun]

Do not go to a counselor of any kind. They do nothing to help you, but try to make you think you need them. Then they charge you fees.

It's best to just relax. You got lucky. Others have gone through far worse. Downplay the situation. Don't dwell on it, because that will only magnify it in your mind.

Learn karate, buy a tazer, pack some pepper spray. Avoid poor neighborhoods from now on. Do anything to make yourself feel more secure, but don't go to a counselor. They'll try to make you feel as if you're a complete victim and you need them. My mom went to a counselor and threw away a lot of money that could have been used to better herself.

Oh yeah, and make sure you keep your windows up from now on. That was a mistake in the first place. It signaled you as being vulnerable.

[Mirian]

I find often than when something traumatic happens to me (deaths of friends/family, accidents), my rational mind gets done with it a lot faster than my emotions. Sometimes I feel fine after the initial shock, then I start feeling anxious again. Reminding myself of all the times that everything was fine seems to help and just going through everyday life till I feel settled again.

I did talk to a counselor once some years back and he taught me some simple cognitive therapy just to sort out what you're actually thinking and feeling. That helped me and I still use it sometimes, like this summer when I was at work during the Oslo bombing and friends of mine where even more caught up in it.

[SnakeMXIM]

	Originally Posted by Sumwun To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Avoid poor neighborhoods from now on.

Given the country, the above is wholly impractical if not impossible.