[markdudevad]

Confidence and "manliness", in my humble opinion, don't necessarily go hand-in-hand. I want a confident girlfriend! Sure, I'll make a decision... given proper time. But I'd much rather critique her decisions, it works out better that way for me. I have so many reasons for doing something (and not doing it) that making decisions is tough, but listing just a few of the top reasons for someone else streamlines the process. I'm a guy, I'm a man, but when someone asks me to "man-up" I simply get angry. And like many INTJs, launch into argument.

"If by man-up you mean ignore the consequences of actions and choose one then sure, I'll be randomly belligerent!"

Am I alone here?

[LaoTzu]

It means you must end your deliberations; and deliver a concise choice.

Knowing so many reasons for and against is a good thing.
You have emotional arguments for one and the other.
You have logical facts for one or the other.
Pick one.

See what happens.
Don't get stuck on one thing.

[Sk8ordude]

No nuts no glory.

But having nuts also means not giving in to peer pressure to do something stupid.

Like LaoTzu said evaluate your position, decide what you need to do, and do it, thats what it means to have a pair of hairy man-nuts.

[BuShinJu]

You are not alone.

There was a turtle by the river side. The court ministers came up and asked it to be king, the turtle refused, but the ministers were insistant, so they took him to the court, dressed him up in finery and sat him on the throne. A few weeks later he dried out and died. They should have just let the turtle be a turtle, and get a king to be a king.

Haha, that story has nothing to do with the OP.

[Zethariel]

I nearly always go for a second opinion when it comes to decision making -- in banking, making mistakes can be taxing. I too prefer the OP's way of letting others suggest ideas and then focus on clarifying them (critique sounds kinda negative :P).

Basically, if I feel strong in a field, I'll have little to no hesitation, as experience and knowledge cover whatever scenario I might face. In situations that are new or not completelly understood by me, I prefer more knowledgeable insight from a 3rd party.

[True Rune]

The importance of action is undeniable, but don't tell me how or when to do it like it's a sacred duty.

[Zsych]

The correct answer to a question usually isn't that hard to reach. Being decisive means being able to prioritize and knowing that you can't do everything at once.

[Muse]

All things have an opportunity cost. The time spent finding a 'better' solution might outweigh the benefits.

Its good to think big decisions through and move at a pace you are comfortable with. Usually the "man up" proclamation is, as you say, a call to reckless action. I think as long as you are confident and capable enough to put your decisions into action and approach their fruition you are doing very well.

But it is also important to take advantage of an opportunity. Some INTJ descriptions say we easily see opportunity where others do not. Seeing is not enough though.

As far as the term "Man up".. I think people on both sides of gender could learn to be more decisive and goal-seeking. No sexism needed there.

[Haumea]

	"If by man-up you mean ignore the consequences of actions and choose one then sure, I'll be randomly belligerent!"

Inaction has consequences too. Risk-taking and decisiveness is a cardinal trait of masculinity.

[freeeekyyy]

Using the term can be kind of asinine, but the basic point behind it has some validity, in most cases.

[Warrior]

	Originally Posted by markdudevad To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Am I alone here?

Pretty much. Man up and get over it!
To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

[Purgatid]

I ignore such comments as I do not recognize the users authority over me.

[Tactical Panda]

Its fairly useless. Kicking a dog on the ground won't help it, its just a sign you don't have the gutts to kick an awake large angry dog.

Its better to offer constructive advice to them if you really care about either them or the issue. If not... you are probably just adding to the problem and it would be logical, but perhaps heartless, to remove you from it.

"Man up" is just as much about character as power. Unless you want to promote a world of psychopaths and rapists. A sensitive and wise guy of character has strengths that a dumb animalistic amoral brute would not. On the other hand, it doesn't hurt to have power and strength to back up wisdom and character.

[LaoTzu]

	Originally Posted by markdudevad To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	But I'd much rather critique her decisions, it works out better that way for me.

This is quite amusing by the way.


Missing here, the biggest part of a relationship is when you are both intertwined in your decision making. ie: you're not just YOU anymore. You're 'WE'.

It's not wrong for your partner to expect you to make a decision when it's affecting their life too.

[Polymath20]

I've always understood "manning up" to mean grow up, stop whining, and take responsibility (get a good job, provide for your family, and don't act like a pansy).

To me it's never been about decision making or assertiveness.

[Blse]

	Originally Posted by markdudevad To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	"If by man-up you mean ignore the consequences of actions and choose one then sure, I'll be randomly belligerent!" Am I alone here?

Who's company do you keep? Most mature people should be able to distinguish between careful decision making and being a wimp. That is, of course, except for those poor souls who rationalize being a wimp by claiming to be careful in their decision making. I am not saying that is you, just pointing out that it is out there.

[Rhyseh]

	Originally Posted by markdudevad To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Confidence and "manliness", in my humble opinion, don't necessarily go hand-in-hand.

Unless the commonly accepted definition of manliness has changed then they DO go hand in hand.

	Originally Posted by markdudevad To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I want a confident girlfriend! Sure, I'll make a decision... given proper time. But I'd much rather critique her decisions, it works out better that way for me.

This says to me "I'd much rather pick apart your decision than risk being wrong".

	Originally Posted by markdudevad To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I have so many reasons for doing something (and not doing it) that making decisions is tough, but listing just a few of the top reasons for someone else streamlines the process.

You need to make decisions in life. Often times the only person who can make those decisions is you

	Originally Posted by markdudevad To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I'm a guy, I'm a man, but when someone asks me to "man-up" I simply get angry. And like many INTJs, launch into argument. "If by man-up you mean ignore the consequences of actions and choose one then sure, I'll be randomly belligerent!" Am I alone here?

Yes you need to think your decisions through, however you shouldn't avoid making a decision for fear of making the wrong decision. Weigh up the facts and make a choice.

If people are frequently telling you to man up when making decisions then perhaps, in certain circumstances anyway, you need to take a little of their advice and accept the risk that you may make the wrong choice.

[Causa Mortis]

Saying nothing about the validity of your concern (hint: its valid), I do not think that the majority of women will find this attractive, as they have a biological imperative to want assertive males.

[ischuldt]

There's an old saying that it's easier to destroy something than it is to create something. That is essentially what you sound like you are wanting to do. Not have to put forth an idea that could potentially be bad and get shot down, but instead make everyone else put forth ideas and you just sit back and tear them to shreds.

The road you want to take is the easy road for you, but everyone thought the way you did nothing would ever get done. Recognizing when a decision needs to be made, and when it's better to take action to than to think is a quality that is necessary of a good leader.