Your friendships say a lot about you.

**Apophenia** · 11-22-2011, 08:30 PM

Is the post title true to you? Are friendships more importantly based on chance and random factors, or more on who you are?

How do your social interactions mirror or correlate with your personal psychology?

Do those you choose to spend time with reflect the person who you think you are?

I think friendships do suggest a lot, but I'd say it's extremely difficult to define what specifically they suggest. At least for me, about me.

**BuShinJu** · 11-22-2011, 09:56 PM

My closest friends are the ones that give me a lot of space...................haha.............wait, what?.............

**chocolates** · 11-23-2011, 12:43 AM

I don't think so. I've heard of people moulding themselves to be someone else (eg becoming more F or E rather than T or I) so they can fit in better with people. I mean, it's still them, but just another side of them.

Which makes me wonder, should congruence of behaviour be adopted with all friends?

**Sethis** · 11-23-2011, 03:53 AM

Depends on how picky about your friends you are. If you just try to match with everyone because you want a big social circle it will probably not say much. These people may be from all walks of life.

I meet random people but I do not become close friends with all of them. That definitely says something.

**Hoster** · 11-23-2011, 04:14 AM

My friends are intelligent, respectful, kindhearted, trustworthy, tolerant and open-minded. By having there qualities they are usually successful in their life. I am proud to have these people as friends. So if they reflect myself it would be a huge compliment.

**zibber** · 11-23-2011, 04:26 AM

	Originally Posted by Apophenia To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Are friendships more importantly based on chance and random factors, or more on who you are?

Both. Does it matter?

Better yet, isn't who I am based on chance and random factors?

I don't think it's very fruitful to spend time thinking about who you are. Just figure out what works best for you in practice.

**masterpeach** · 11-23-2011, 05:45 AM

People that I've been getting along best with for years (thus calling them "friends" as opposed to "acquaintances" of whom I also have a lot) are mostly mathematicians, physicists and artists.

I've not chosen them on purpose, our bond developed over the years and yes, I do think that your circle of friends says something about you and your (subconscious) preferences.

**JulietCapulet** · 11-23-2011, 05:45 AM

Yes, you can tell a lot about a person by looking at the friends they have.

**Apophenia** · 11-23-2011, 07:55 AM

	Originally Posted by zibber To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Both. Does it matter? Better yet, isn't who I am based on chance and random factors? I don't think it's very fruitful to spend time thinking about who you are. Just figure out what works best for you in practice.

Yes, the answer to why/if it matters is also useful.

And it may be random who we are, but it's the only "who" I'll be, I assume. I learned to feel responsible for myself, so some days I feel inclined to self-research.

**changos** · 11-23-2011, 11:29 AM

NOT the friends, actually, but the mechanics of the friendship
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Permeability changes over time, you can be friend with X while not sharing their system of values, and still have a healthy interaction.

**RainingLogic** · 11-23-2011, 11:49 AM

I have no friends, conclude away...

**CaelestisPeste** · 11-23-2011, 12:14 PM

My closest friends are almost nothing like me, but I keep them anyways, because they hold intrinsic and sentimental value.

**Distance** · 11-23-2011, 12:25 PM

As the resident eccentric of our bunch, not sure what that says about the rest of them! They're so phenomenally "normal".
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Commonality would be that they're all career-oriented, whether in business management, IT or law.

**Thinktress** · 11-23-2011, 12:27 PM

There are certain character qualities I look for in my friends, certain people with whom I choose to associate. So sure, it probably says something about you.

Seablue · 11-23-2011, 12:42 PM

	Originally Posted by Apophenia To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Is the post title true to you? Are friendships more importantly based on chance and random factors, or more on who you are?

You meet because of chance, randomly, and you become friends because of who you are.

**Zsych** · 11-23-2011, 12:46 PM

Well obviously, a person's friends show what kind of person he is naturally inclined towards having relationships with and also who he better knows how to handle.

If nothing else, if you're different from what they are used to, you're going to have serious communication problems starting up.

Coralaisly · 11-23-2011, 01:28 PM

I don't think so. It's not true for me, at least.

I have friends from all walks of life. Some are drug addicts who are willfully homeless, live as transients & love it, and friends who are self made multi-millionares, who think that someone who does drugs is automatically not worth the effort to get to know. People who love kids, hate kids, love animals and can't understand why I would want a pet. Liberal activists and the most conservative people you can imagine. Ultra religious, Catholics and Muslims and staunch Atheists, witches & people who can't be bothered to think about such silliness. I have friends who are young, old, intelligent, not so intelligent and just about every combination & everywhere in between.

I don't know what could be said about me based on looking at my friends, since they're really so diverse, basically the only things that some of them have in common are that they walk upright. If "she, indeed, walks on two legs just like all of her friends" is saying a lot, then I suppose yes, you can tell a lot about someone based on looking at their friends.

**sadf** · 11-23-2011, 01:29 PM

My friends are hipsters.

**ollin24** · 11-24-2011, 01:52 AM

I only have one close friend and often reminds me that I still have a heart.

**Nepenthe** · 11-24-2011, 02:32 AM

It shows what you're willing to put up with, and that can reveal a lot.

**True Rune** · 11-24-2011, 02:40 AM

I wonder about Jesus' friends.

**Distance** · 11-24-2011, 11:31 AM

	Originally Posted by True Rune To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I wonder about Jesus' friends.

Not sure if you intended it to be an ironic statement but I almost spat out my coffee!

**Monte314** · 11-24-2011, 11:50 AM

Jesus is a friend of sinners. Luke 7:34-48

**Zsych** · 11-24-2011, 12:18 PM

Originally Posted by Coralaisly
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I don't think so. It's not true for me, at least.

I have friends from all walks of life. Some are drug addicts who are willfully homeless, live as transients & love it, and friends who are self made multi-millionares, who think that someone who does drugs is automatically not worth the effort to get to know. People who love kids, hate kids, love animals and can't understand why I would want a pet. Liberal activists and the most conservative people you can imagine. Ultra religious, Catholics and Muslims and staunch Atheists, witches & people who can't be bothered to think about such silliness. I have friends who are young, old, intelligent, not so intelligent and just about every combination & everywhere in between.

I don't know what could be said about me based on looking at my friends, since they're really so diverse, basically the only things that some of them have in common are that they walk upright. If "she, indeed, walks on two legs just like all of her friends" is saying a lot, then I suppose yes, you can tell a lot about someone based on looking at their friends.

My guesses from that would be distant, not easily attached at a deep level, and probably not all that ambitious (in terms of actual effort put in towards getting high results)

**JackCY** · 11-24-2011, 01:28 PM

Says something but not a lot.
Some people just don't have many friends or do not have the opportunity to meet people worth having as friends, keep that in mind.

And in this age we even have friends that we do not meet IRL anymore, because they moved away or we've never met yet IRL.

11-22-2011, 08:30 PM	#1
Apophenia Member [22%] MBTI: xxxx Join Date: Sep 2011 Posts: 888	Is the post title true to you? Are friendships more importantly based on chance and random factors, or more on who you are? How do your social interactions mirror or correlate with your personal psychology? Do those you choose to spend time with reflect the person who you think you are? I think friendships do suggest a lot, but I'd say it's extremely difficult to define what specifically they suggest. At least for me, about me.
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11-22-2011, 09:56 PM	#2
BuShinJu Member [43%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 1,734	My closest friends are the ones that give me a lot of space...................haha.............wait, what?.............
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11-23-2011, 12:43 AM	#3
chocolates New Member [01%] MBTI: IXTX Join Date: Nov 2011 Posts: 29	I don't think so. I've heard of people moulding themselves to be someone else (eg becoming more F or E rather than T or I) so they can fit in better with people. I mean, it's still them, but just another side of them. Which makes me wonder, should congruence of behaviour be adopted with all friends?
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11-23-2011, 03:53 AM	#4
Sethis Member [23%] MBTI: iNTj Join Date: May 2011 Posts: 954	Depends on how picky about your friends you are. If you just try to match with everyone because you want a big social circle it will probably not say much. These people may be from all walks of life. I meet random people but I do not become close friends with all of them. That definitely says something.
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11-23-2011, 04:14 AM	#5
Hoster Member [05%] MBTI: ENFP Join Date: Sep 2011 Posts: 203	My friends are intelligent, respectful, kindhearted, trustworthy, tolerant and open-minded. By having there qualities they are usually successful in their life. I am proud to have these people as friends. So if they reflect myself it would be a huge compliment.
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11-23-2011, 05:45 AM	#7
masterpeach Core Member [209%] MBTI: xxxx Join Date: Jul 2010 Posts: 8,399	People that I've been getting along best with for years (thus calling them "friends" as opposed to "acquaintances" of whom I also have a lot) are mostly mathematicians, physicists and artists. I've not chosen them on purpose, our bond developed over the years and yes, I do think that your circle of friends says something about you and your (subconscious) preferences.
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11-23-2011, 05:45 AM	#8
JulietCapulet Veteran Member [96%] MBTI: XNFX Join Date: May 2010 Posts: 3,865	Yes, you can tell a lot about a person by looking at the friends they have.
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11-23-2011, 11:29 AM	#10
changos Member [48%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 1,944	NOT the friends, actually, but the mechanics of the friendship To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Permeability changes over time, you can be friend with X while not sharing their system of values, and still have a healthy interaction.
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11-23-2011, 11:49 AM	#11
RainingLogic Banned MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Nov 2011 Posts: 207	I have no friends, conclude away...
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11-23-2011, 12:14 PM	#12
CaelestisPeste Core Member [143%] MBTI: INXP Join Date: Aug 2011 Posts: 5,735	My closest friends are almost nothing like me, but I keep them anyways, because they hold intrinsic and sentimental value.
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11-23-2011, 12:25 PM	#13
Distance Core Member [411%] MBTI: eNTj Join Date: Apr 2010 Posts: 16,468	As the resident eccentric of our bunch, not sure what that says about the rest of them! They're so phenomenally "normal". To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Commonality would be that they're all career-oriented, whether in business management, IT or law.
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11-23-2011, 12:27 PM	#14
Thinktress Veteran Member [52%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 2,112	There are certain character qualities I look for in my friends, certain people with whom I choose to associate. So sure, it probably says something about you.
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11-23-2011, 12:46 PM	#16
Zsych Core Member [309%] MBTI: XNTX Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 12,372	Well obviously, a person's friends show what kind of person he is naturally inclined towards having relationships with and also who he better knows how to handle. If nothing else, if you're different from what they are used to, you're going to have serious communication problems starting up.
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11-23-2011, 01:28 PM	#17
Coralaisly Veteran Member [79%] MBTI: XXXX Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 3,185	I don't think so. It's not true for me, at least. I have friends from all walks of life. Some are drug addicts who are willfully homeless, live as transients & love it, and friends who are self made multi-millionares, who think that someone who does drugs is automatically not worth the effort to get to know. People who love kids, hate kids, love animals and can't understand why I would want a pet. Liberal activists and the most conservative people you can imagine. Ultra religious, Catholics and Muslims and staunch Atheists, witches & people who can't be bothered to think about such silliness. I have friends who are young, old, intelligent, not so intelligent and just about every combination & everywhere in between. I don't know what could be said about me based on looking at my friends, since they're really so diverse, basically the only things that some of them have in common are that they walk upright. If "she, indeed, walks on two legs just like all of her friends" is saying a lot, then I suppose yes, you can tell a lot about someone based on looking at their friends.
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11-23-2011, 01:29 PM	#18
sadf Member [20%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Aug 2009 Posts: 808	My friends are hipsters.
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11-24-2011, 01:52 AM	#19
ollin24 Member [03%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: May 2011 Posts: 127	I only have one close friend and often reminds me that I still have a heart.
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11-24-2011, 02:32 AM	#20
Nepenthe Member [06%] MBTI: INTx Join Date: Dec 2010 Posts: 279	It shows what you're willing to put up with, and that can reveal a lot.
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11-24-2011, 02:40 AM	#21
True Rune Core Member [200%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 8,028	I wonder about Jesus' friends.
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11-24-2011, 11:50 AM	#23
Monte314 Core Member [408%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 16,340	Jesus is a friend of sinners. Luke 7:34-48
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11-24-2011, 01:28 PM	#25
JackCY Core Member [108%] MBTI: INTj Join Date: Jan 2011 Posts: 4,334	Says something but not a lot. Some people just don't have many friends or do not have the opportunity to meet people worth having as friends, keep that in mind. And in this age we even have friends that we do not meet IRL anymore, because they moved away or we've never met yet IRL.
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