How do you cope with being in a relationship?

**paperclip** · 11-03-2011, 05:37 PM

A tongue and cheek play on the "How do you cope with being single?" thread...

Loneliness, somebody you have to share every moment of your life with, constant compromise...
Anything that comes to your mind!

What do you do, what helps you, how do you deal with it?

If you can please state how long have you been in a relationship.
I know there are some of you that have been together for a really long time and I would like to know how you survive it!
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**avocadogirl** · 11-03-2011, 05:55 PM

Drinking. Lots of alcohol. That's how I cope.

Seeking out other obligations so I don't have to spend time with my significant other; that's an alternative. Volunteering to do other people's tax returns, going over to my parents house knowing my significant other would rather eat soap than join me there, pretending like I actually want to go shopping and subjecting myself to droves of people while taking refuge in the mall....

I find it difficult to cope.

I've been in this relationship for two years. It's my first and only relationship but, I'm finding relationships very hard to cope with!

**Thinktress** · 11-03-2011, 05:56 PM

Man. Sometimes not very well. I used to think I was this sweet giving person. In fact, I used to think I was the person who did ALL of the giving. I'm coming to find that sometimes I'm very selfish and I'm self-centered a lot of the time. I don't really like that about myself.

**Hatsumomo1** · 11-07-2011, 12:44 PM

If a relationship is something you need to "cope with," then I suggest that you're doing it wrong.

**Polymath20** · 11-07-2011, 01:19 PM

Live separately.

**masterpeach** · 11-07-2011, 01:22 PM

Not being in the relationship, but wait... isn't that also something I have to cope with
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**Polymath20** · 11-07-2011, 01:39 PM

	Originally Posted by masterpeach To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Not being in the relationship, but wait... isn't that also something I have to cope with To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

You could have a harem then. You don't really have to have a relationship, per se, you still get affection though. In a certain sense of the word.

**Fishism** · 11-08-2011, 05:33 AM

I cope by trying to stick to my guns and by being myself and letting the chips fall where they may. One can only be phoney for so long before insanity sets in.

**changos** · 11-08-2011, 06:56 AM

	Originally Posted by paperclip To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	What do you do, what helps you, how do you deal with it? If you can please state how long have you been in a relationship. I know there are some of you that have been together for a really long time and I would like to know how you survive it! To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Most of my relationships were one+ year long (serious, commited, counting the days since we officially began the love relationship). My longest was 4+ years.

It's not hard to survive if you share a common goal, objectives and responsibilities (together and separated) and if you both choosed carefully. I shared a lot of time witch each one of my love partners, first you have to make clear the priorities for yourself and also discuss them with your loved one while she shares hers, it's a two way thing. I also make clear my need for alone time. Being an intj is important to make clear you love the person because our independency might get them to feel the other way, remember that the common concept of love nowadays heavily relies on being needed... :/ while the best love is the one that exist without "needing" the other person, being one, and together being two instead of just one (a combination of halfs).

Had one huge problem with one ex, she was(is) codependent, steaming hot and narcicist so she wanted everything for herself, wanted to be the center of my universe, that lasted less than a year.

I have a lot of energy so is not hard for me to keep doing a lot of my things while being there for my partner too. The only problem was the rock climbing thing, very few girls can get along with that, specially when they meet some of the rock climbing partners who are pretty often really hot, fit body. But things get going when people understand you are not your hobbies.

Having each other a pretty clear understanding of what time together, time alone, and privacy means, is the key for any relationship beginning. Besides remembering that relationships don't work in favor of one, but for both, a two way thing.

11-03-2011, 05:37 PM	#1
paperclip Member [37%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Aug 2009 Posts: 1,497	A tongue and cheek play on the "How do you cope with being single?" thread... Loneliness, somebody you have to share every moment of your life with, constant compromise... Anything that comes to your mind! What do you do, what helps you, how do you deal with it? If you can please state how long have you been in a relationship. I know there are some of you that have been together for a really long time and I would like to know how you survive it! To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
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11-03-2011, 05:55 PM	#2
avocadogirl New Member [01%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Sep 2011 Posts: 9	Drinking. Lots of alcohol. That's how I cope. Seeking out other obligations so I don't have to spend time with my significant other; that's an alternative. Volunteering to do other people's tax returns, going over to my parents house knowing my significant other would rather eat soap than join me there, pretending like I actually want to go shopping and subjecting myself to droves of people while taking refuge in the mall.... I find it difficult to cope. I've been in this relationship for two years. It's my first and only relationship but, I'm finding relationships very hard to cope with!
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11-03-2011, 05:56 PM	#3
Thinktress Veteran Member [52%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 2,112	Man. Sometimes not very well. I used to think I was this sweet giving person. In fact, I used to think I was the person who did ALL of the giving. I'm coming to find that sometimes I'm very selfish and I'm self-centered a lot of the time. I don't really like that about myself.
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11-07-2011, 12:44 PM	#4
Hatsumomo1 Member [16%] MBTI: InTj Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 657	If a relationship is something you need to "cope with," then I suggest that you're doing it wrong.
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11-07-2011, 01:19 PM	#5
Polymath20 Core Member [410%] MBTI: ENTP Join Date: Oct 2011 Posts: 16,430	Live separately.
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11-07-2011, 01:22 PM	#6
masterpeach Core Member [209%] MBTI: xxxx Join Date: Jul 2010 Posts: 8,397	Not being in the relationship, but wait... isn't that also something I have to cope with To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
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11-08-2011, 05:33 AM	#8
Fishism Member [29%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Oct 2010 Posts: 1,185	I cope by trying to stick to my guns and by being myself and letting the chips fall where they may. One can only be phoney for so long before insanity sets in.
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