[Karatekel]

I'm curious to see what role most INTJs take on in family life.

As for me, I'm the Encyclopedia. I provide all the information about almost everything my family members might inquire about in any subject. Examples: whether cow's milk or soy milk is healthier, if Henry IV or Louis XIV was more popular among the French citizens during their reigns, what we can do to lower the risk of getting cancer, etc. My sisters always disliked me because I had the best grades in school with little effort, while they had to spend hours studying.

As a teen, I was the one always harassed by my ISFJ mother about having a messy room, or not doing my part to keep the house tidy. Since I didn't have any brothers and I was the least-feminine of my sisters, I was the one who always helped Dad mow the lawn, chop firewood, replace the truck's drive shaft, etc.

I was also the Protector. Whenever there was a tornado warning for our county and my parents were away, I was the one who closed all the window curtains, grabbed the emergency supplies, and herded my sisters into the basement. When we heard coyotes fighting in our backyard, I was the one who loaded Dad's gun and stood guard.

[JC22]

Encyclopedia + Jester + Helping Hand + Cook = JC

[Silverblitz]

I am the Handy Man working on everything, the Confidant who would always keep things secret because I forget about the whole conversation any, Guinea pig to test jokes and pranks on. On some days I am the peacemaker because I can't stand people fighting especially when I'm around

[Artio]

I'm The Parent. My mother always counted on my rationality and let me deal with her financial problems, sex life, mental disorders and any other problem since very early age. My father was (is?) an alcoholic who never grew up.

I don't have any other family.

[Midichlorianite]

The "ideal" older son who has to carry the family name. Father's pride, mother's bane and sister's psychologist. To the outer family I'm just the introverted bookworm who gets lively once introduced to alcohol and purring engines.

[CaelestisPeste]

Encyclopedia + Jester + Helping Hand + Cook = JC CP

I pay the bills sometimes and I'm their translator when they need me -- often. I'm also being their son (that's a role) and future caretaker.

[Sumwun]

I was the ignored Captain Obvious.

-Brother brings in a bunch of his stupid troublemaker friends into our house everyday.
-Jewelry ends up missing from my mom's room.
-I tell her it's probably my brother's friends.
-She tells me that I should stop blaming my brother for everything and that his friends are angels who'd never do anything wrong.
-Stuff ends up broken.
-I tell her it's his friends again.
-She punishes me for "being a false witness because the bible says its wrong."
-Brother's friends finally get bored of stealing from her and breaking our house's stuff.
-Brother's friends stop being friends with him and go find some other tool to take advantage of.
-Stuff stops breaking and disappearing.
-I say that that's proof that it was them.
-Mom still says it wasn't them because the bible says not to judge others. And if it was them, we should "forgive and forget". Punishes me again for being a "false witness."

-Dad gives me $200 and a computer with a few missing parts.
-We go to the store to buy a part for the computer.
-I want a certain wattage of the power supply because I did research beforehand.
-They don't have that wattage (it's a very ghetto and overpriced store).
-I tell her we should go somewhere else.
-She says no. It's either this crappy store or she'll never drive me anywhere again.
-I buy the shitty overpriced part.
-Doesn't produce enough power.
-We go back to return it, store doesn't accept returns.
-Mom says it's my fault.
-Dad ponies up another $200 to get me the right part and misses a day of work to take me to the mall by bus (he has no car).
-Computer ends up working and I finally get an escape for my teenage years.

Except for my dad and younger siblings, my family is a bunch of idiots.

[JTG]

I've been tech support for years now. I find that as my parents get older, i'm also filling the role of "hired muscle" more and more.

Example: my parents' house has an attic with a small opening and no ladder. If they need something done up there, they need somebody who can do a pull-up >.>

[deckard]

The nutcase.

In a family full of insane people, this was no easy feat.

[REMwoman]

The Rebel and the Wanderer and the School Smart/Life Dumb one. I lived up to that by leaving home far too young to get work. Brilliant use of my intellect! ;-D

[Tactical Panda]

My role

• Making sure there is a sane back up plan to whatever my parents are up to
• Providing a role model for my sister and direction by leading through example
• Stepping when problems too big for them to handle crop up, and solving it myself (if I am able to and know I can)
• Disputing rules with reason to ensure freedom and sanity and consistency
• The one who listens and comprehens instead of going on rants of self-interest
• The one who doesn't have emotional breakdowns for no good reason unless someone is attacking me and there is something artificial and abused in the environment that hampers resolution
• The only one you talk to when you don't want gossip but want to invest your hopes in
• The beloved first born son of two generations - love magnet and resentment magnet
• The one who learns the soft parts of life more slowly than the rest
• Second or third in command during a crisis when a reliable leader is needed in terms of competence
• Sometimes first in command during a long term issue in terms of competence
• The abuser of stupid parental family economic systems by outplaying it
• The one who fixes your homework problems in less than an entire day
• The one who stops people from abusing psychology for power plays
• The one who tries to stop people from abusing religion for power plays
• The one who stops people from abusing reason for power plays
• The reliable one who people at the end of the day trust to go where ever he wants as long as it doesn't make the girl he is with look bad

[AkaruiRain]

Protector? That was unexpected. How nice.
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- always thought INTJ were naturally self-centered -

1.) Info, for one: for example we got a new dog recently, and I'm the one figuring the amount of food/exercise/space it needs, where her species came from, its level of intelligence, etc.

2.) Thinker. Always coming up with weird "what if?" questions: "How would the tide be if we had two moons?" I'd really like to find a way to help my sensor-family with this, as we're always doing some kind of family project such as helping someone move, and none of them are really great organizers or bigger-picture viewers. Though they won't listen until I'm recognized as "adult" to them.

3.) Meek/ hidden-in-room/ doesn't-know-when-company-is-here/ did-anyone-tell-her-dinner-was-ready/ physically-weak/ doesn't-ever-want-to-go-out/ thing.

[Fox]

I was the youngest, low pressure, tons of support, get away with murder. Not as great as it sounds as you are still associated as being the youngest no matter how old you are.

[Captain Morgan]

>First Born
>The only one in my entire family that is going to college
>The Smart intellectual Bookworm in my whole family
>The family therapist/Psychologist

[fokalina]

Honestly I don't think I had/have a "role."
My parents could have functioned as a duo and been perfectly fine. Mom's more of the brains, and dad's more the hands.

Mom refers to me and my brother as her "pride and joy", where I'm the "pride" and he's the "joy." I'm academic and reliable, and he's social and fun. But he's also smart, and I'm sometimes amusing.
But that's what we are--not what we were expected/needed to be.

[Blackwark]

I suppose I was simply the easy child. That's not to say I was always following the rules and never got in trouble, but I wasn't as much trouble for my mother to raise when compared to my younger siblings. My sister being in constant conflict with mom, and my brother having rather bad anger issues up until his mid-teens. In comparison, I think being gay was rather easy for her to swallow.

As for roles, I suppose I best served as "the straight man" to my brother's hilarity, and as a hard wall against my sister when she got out of hand. Hannah was the craftsman, Shane was the humorous stress reliever, Mother was the parent, and I was... I don't know. I guess I just filled in where needed. As good as the family was, I think we've all become better people now that we're apart from each other. We were a pressure cooker.

Hannah's constant battles with mom changed the way both of them related to me Shane. Mom became unbending in her rules, under which we all began to chafe, and Shane and Hannah both found friends in each other when I finally had to leave. Now that we no longer live under the same roof, our roles as a family are very different.

I'm off working and being an artist, and act as "the straight man" and shameless reason at family gatherings. Shane's at college and becoming a pilot, still the emphatic humorist. Hannah, after being left alone with mom, straightened her act out a lot and functions mostly as a story teller of sorts. We have a sort of collective knowledge, so we've never taken specific roles there. What one of us doesn't know, another probably will.

Apparently I really needed to write today, because that ended up being rather long. My apologies.

[Karatekel]

	Originally Posted by AkaruiRain To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Protector? That was unexpected. How nice. To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. - always thought INTJ were naturally self-centered -

Yes, I am still very self-centered, though I'm working on this. For example, whenever my sister came into my room to ask a question while I was taking a precious nap (I swear I was nocturnal in high school), I would tell her to "Shut up and go away."
But if anyone/anything threatens someone I care for, I transform into a vicious gladiator prepared to rip the offender's head off. This is probably because of my training in Tae Kwon Do and slightly masculine tendencies (I love martial arts, guns, cars, electrical engineering, etc.)

[Silverity]

The black sheep =\

Daddy's Little Tomboy

The Medical Disaster

The Artist-when-my-parents-really-didn't-want-an-artist

I'll always be The Baby because I'm the youngest.

I think my role is to provide an element of chaos into things without really intending to. <.<;

[Karatekel]

Originally Posted by fokalina To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Honestly I don't think I had/have a "role." My parents could have functioned as a duo and been perfectly fine. Mom's more of the brains, and dad's more the hands. Mom refers to me and my brother as her "pride and joy", where I'm the "pride" and he's the "joy." I'm academic and reliable, and he's social and fun. But he's also smart, and I'm sometimes amusing. But that's what we are--not what we were expected/needed to be.

A role doesn't have to be what you're expected or needed to be, when I wrote my original post I was kind of thinking "the pattern of actions you take in relation to family life." Back in high school, I often helped my sister with her homework, helped mom making healthy choices when grocery shopping, etc. I came up with the word "Encyclopedia" to cover all of that.

Does that make more sense?

[jprosatx]

From beginning to end...

-First-born

-The "Good Son"

-The "Smart One"

-The Protector/Fill-in Parent

-The Respected One

-The Self-exiled Son

-The Speaker of Truth/Pariah

Years of silence have followed the last one.

[Monte314]

For many years, I was the only stable member of the family. The others have now passed, and I am the last surviving member of my generation in my branch of the family.

[Equinox]

I'm the most trustworthy and responsible of three sons, the one people come to when they need to know about obscure or complicated stuff, the proofreader/dictionary/encyclopedia, the one with the fastest hands in the house, and a backup grunt worker if my brothers aren't around to lift heavy stuff.

[Vulture]

my immediate family (wife & kids)

source of entertainment
planner of future
teacher




extended family (mom/dad/sibilings:

source of entertainment
de facto mediator and messenger
generalized utility support unit

[mllebrie]

Oh gosh, where to start?

The encyclopedia. I just informed my mom tonight, as she was watching NCIS, that the Marine Corps is technically under the jurisdiction of the Navy. I thought this was common knowledge.

The galvanized steel. We've had something of an issue recently (nothing that any of us are responsible for, but hard to deal with, nonetheless), and sometimes I feel like the one who holds everything together, emotionally. Trying to keep my dad upbeat, trying to explain away all the hurtful comments people have made to my mom, etc. I'd rather not go in to any more detail than that.

The comedienne. I've always got a comeback.

The sanitation technician. Nobody could be more anal than I about dirt, germs and the like. It's not that people in my family are slobs, but it's that I have really high standards. My parents don't even try to clean a lot of stuff anymore because they figure I'll re-do it anyway. Which I do end up doing, much of the time
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The Style Expert. Dad, that outfit is far too casual. Mom, you can't get a green tile floor for the kitchen, neutrals are key. Go with the brushed nickel faucet, etc.

[Zebu Fellenz]

The fixer of all things mechanical, cars, trucks, tractors, blenders, dildos...

If it has moving parts or used to move but no longer does I get called it to fix it.

I also moonlight as family IT services and as an occasionally unwanted grossly overly-sarcastic comedian.