Correlation between sexual assertiveness and the P/J dynamic?

**anticlimatic** · 10-16-2011, 02:33 AM

I'm interested in any possible patterns between Ps and Js, regarding their sexual styles. Humor me, and/or discuss.

**JC22** · 10-16-2011, 02:41 AM

I'm a J, most likely.

I'm dominant. I suck at defense, mostly because I can't submit, ever. I need to be in control.

**anticlimatic** · 10-16-2011, 02:46 AM

My hypothesis is that since Js tend to be much more in control by day, they'd would prefer a more submissive role by night, and visa versa with the Ps. I've only recently arrived at the middle of the road, but for the bulk of my life I was very strongly dominant, mainly because I let the world whip me willy-nilly while the sun shone, but come nightfall I'd be craving a little inversion therapy.

**AureliaSeverina** · 10-16-2011, 03:18 AM

Hum.. I’m an INTJ and in between the two. However, I think I can only do that with someone I trust. It does get boring sometimes though and I want to be more “active” and “giving”, if that’s what dominant means.
If I didn’t trust them that much, I’d want to be more dominant.

**plotthickens** · 10-16-2011, 06:34 AM

J, painslut.

This poll is missing a rather exquisitely important bit of information: have they tried being both dominant and submissive. Ya don't know if ye'll like it till ya've tried it.

**what yeah okay** · 10-16-2011, 07:37 AM

I don't think they have a correlation in behavior, only a correlation regarding whether the behavior is scheduled 3 hours, 4 minutes and 27 seconds in advance.

**Distance** · 10-16-2011, 08:09 AM

Are you asking as it relates to BDSM or sexual behaviour in general, as in preference to lead or follow? There is a distinction.

**PlungingHornets** · 10-16-2011, 08:23 AM

By submissive, do you mean they want to lie there and make me do all the work? 'Cuz I definitely don't like that.
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Sometimes I get off on controlling someone's orgasm, but other times... I wont go into details.
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I'm pretty aggressive/assertive in any area where I care to apply myself, sex included.

**Purgatid** · 10-16-2011, 10:04 AM

I'm a borderline J (rank pretty low, like 54% or something). I am a definite dominant person. Just can't submit sexually. Even vanilla stuff like being cuffed makes me uneasy, the only real emotion being "break free." I function pretty good at being dominant though, at least according to those I've been with. Though, I am sure they are biased...

**JustMel** · 10-16-2011, 10:43 AM

I'm dominant and always have been (>80% J consistently). I've tried the submissive side of things and it's just not for me. I tend to start thinking "you shouldn't do that that way" etc. I can let my husband lead things sometimes but it's rare and he can tell if I'm in the mood for him to take control or not. There are few times he doesn't really care if I'm in the mood to let him dominate. I let him have his head there (no pun intended). A true dominant knows when not to be dominant.

**anticlimatic** · 10-16-2011, 02:01 PM

Alright, so, it looks like there is ZERO corrolation.... gotta say, I'm surprised.

By dominant, I could be referring to BDSM play if that's your pleasure, but I'm really just referring to the control aspect. Doing the pleasing vs being pleased / Dom vs Sub.

Cooper · 10-16-2011, 02:08 PM

Switch. Its a mental relief to give up the control sometimes.

**plotthickens** · 10-16-2011, 05:23 PM

	Originally Posted by anticlimatic To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	By dominant, I could be referring to BDSM play if that's your pleasure, but I'm really just referring to the control aspect. Doing the pleasing vs being pleased / Dom vs Sub.

Pst. Buddy.

The Dom has 10% of the power... maybe less... in any BD, DS or SM relationship or 'scene'.

**Shadizar** · 10-16-2011, 05:44 PM

	Originally Posted by plotthickens To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Pst. Buddy. The Dom has 10% of the power... maybe less... in any BD, DS or SM relationship or 'scene'.

Agreed. You can't Dom if your "sub" doesn't trust you with their body. The Sub always chooses the Dom, the Sub always controls the extent of the escalation; the Dom is merely "allowed" to do as they please within a parameter set by the Sub. If these basic rules aren't followed, then the relationship moves into abusive.

Edit: Oh yeah, I'm dominate.

**anticlimatic** · 10-16-2011, 09:07 PM

I guess I'm abusive, then.

Those sound like some pussy-ass Doms if you ask me...not that there's anything wrong with being a pussy-ass Dom if that's your and your partner's pleasure.
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*EDIT: I jest. Sort of. I'm with Ayn Rand, too many formal rules and formalities totally take the fun out of it; "If it was rape, then it was rape with engraved invitation."

**Silverity** · 10-16-2011, 09:46 PM

I'm in the middle, and it really depends with who I'm with. If they are competent I can hand over the reins no problem. If they are aren't up to my expectations I take charge and won't relinquish. I like to make decisions and I make them swiftly, if people can't make up their minds before my patience ends I'll do it for them. ...I'm not very nice.

**WindUp** · 10-17-2011, 03:06 AM

Always dominant in actual sex. Can be sometimes submissive during foreplay.

View Poll Results: Do you lean more towards dominance, or submission in intimate encounters?
I am an XXXP, and I lean more towards dominant behavior.	1	2.44%
I am an XXXP, and I lean more towards submissive behavior.	0	0%
I am an XXXP, and I sit directly between the two.	6	14.63%
I am an XXXJ, and I lean more towards dominant behavior.	13	31.71%
I am an XXXJ, and I lean more towards submissive behavior.	9	21.95%
I am an XXXJ, and I sit directly between the two.	12	29.27%
Voters: 41. You may not vote on this poll

10-16-2011, 02:33 AM	#1
anticlimatic Veteran Member [53%] MBTI: INTP Join Date: Apr 2011 Posts: 2,148	I'm interested in any possible patterns between Ps and Js, regarding their sexual styles. Humor me, and/or discuss.
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10-16-2011, 02:41 AM	#2
JC22 Core Member [112%] MBTI: xxxx Join Date: Sep 2011 Posts: 4,509	I'm a J, most likely. I'm dominant. I suck at defense, mostly because I can't submit, ever. I need to be in control.
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10-16-2011, 02:46 AM	#3
anticlimatic Veteran Member [53%] MBTI: INTP Join Date: Apr 2011 Posts: 2,148	My hypothesis is that since Js tend to be much more in control by day, they'd would prefer a more submissive role by night, and visa versa with the Ps. I've only recently arrived at the middle of the road, but for the bulk of my life I was very strongly dominant, mainly because I let the world whip me willy-nilly while the sun shone, but come nightfall I'd be craving a little inversion therapy.
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10-16-2011, 03:18 AM	#4
AureliaSeverina Member [09%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Aug 2011 Posts: 386	Hum.. I’m an INTJ and in between the two. However, I think I can only do that with someone I trust. It does get boring sometimes though and I want to be more “active” and “giving”, if that’s what dominant means. If I didn’t trust them that much, I’d want to be more dominant.
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10-16-2011, 06:34 AM	#5
plotthickens Core Member [660%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 26,417	J, painslut. This poll is missing a rather exquisitely important bit of information: have they tried being both dominant and submissive. Ya don't know if ye'll like it till ya've tried it.
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10-16-2011, 07:37 AM	#6
what yeah okay Member [17%] MBTI: ENTP Join Date: Jul 2011 Posts: 684	I don't think they have a correlation in behavior, only a correlation regarding whether the behavior is scheduled 3 hours, 4 minutes and 27 seconds in advance.
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10-16-2011, 08:09 AM	#7
Distance Core Member [409%] MBTI: eNTj Join Date: Apr 2010 Posts: 16,399	Are you asking as it relates to BDSM or sexual behaviour in general, as in preference to lead or follow? There is a distinction.
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10-16-2011, 08:23 AM	#8
PlungingHornets Member [13%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Oct 2011 Posts: 536	By submissive, do you mean they want to lie there and make me do all the work? 'Cuz I definitely don't like that. To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Sometimes I get off on controlling someone's orgasm, but other times... I wont go into details. To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. I'm pretty aggressive/assertive in any area where I care to apply myself, sex included.
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10-16-2011, 10:04 AM	#9
Purgatid Veteran Member [63%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Jul 2011 Posts: 2,548	I'm a borderline J (rank pretty low, like 54% or something). I am a definite dominant person. Just can't submit sexually. Even vanilla stuff like being cuffed makes me uneasy, the only real emotion being "break free." I function pretty good at being dominant though, at least according to those I've been with. Though, I am sure they are biased...
Purgatid is offline post a comment

10-16-2011, 10:43 AM	#10
JustMel Core Member [422%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 16,891	I'm dominant and always have been (>80% J consistently). I've tried the submissive side of things and it's just not for me. I tend to start thinking "you shouldn't do that that way" etc. I can let my husband lead things sometimes but it's rare and he can tell if I'm in the mood for him to take control or not. There are few times he doesn't really care if I'm in the mood to let him dominate. I let him have his head there (no pun intended). A true dominant knows when not to be dominant.
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10-16-2011, 02:01 PM	#11
anticlimatic Veteran Member [53%] MBTI: INTP Join Date: Apr 2011 Posts: 2,148	Alright, so, it looks like there is ZERO corrolation.... gotta say, I'm surprised. By dominant, I could be referring to BDSM play if that's your pleasure, but I'm really just referring to the control aspect. Doing the pleasing vs being pleased / Dom vs Sub.
anticlimatic is online post a comment

10-16-2011, 02:08 PM	#12
Cooper Core Member [1334%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 53,389	Switch. Its a mental relief to give up the control sometimes.
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10-16-2011, 09:07 PM	#15
anticlimatic Veteran Member [53%] MBTI: INTP Join Date: Apr 2011 Posts: 2,148	I guess I'm abusive, then. Those sound like some pussy-ass Doms if you ask me...not that there's anything wrong with being a pussy-ass Dom if that's your and your partner's pleasure. To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. *EDIT: I jest. Sort of. I'm with Ayn Rand, too many formal rules and formalities totally take the fun out of it; "If it was rape, then it was rape with engraved invitation."
anticlimatic is online post a comment

10-16-2011, 09:46 PM	#16
Silverity Core Member [274%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 10,991	I'm in the middle, and it really depends with who I'm with. If they are competent I can hand over the reins no problem. If they are aren't up to my expectations I take charge and won't relinquish. I like to make decisions and I make them swiftly, if people can't make up their minds before my patience ends I'll do it for them. ...I'm not very nice.
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10-17-2011, 03:06 AM	#17
WindUp Member [22%] MBTI: INfJ Join Date: Jun 2011 Posts: 903	Always dominant in actual sex. Can be sometimes submissive during foreplay.
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