Things INTJs wish other types knew about them... - Page 3

**Magda** · 04-05-2012, 08:30 PM

	Originally Posted by Dancingqueen To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	It's twice as hard for me to be nice than it is for you!

Absolutely. What some types do naturally, we have to do consciously.

---------- Post added 04-05-2012 at 11:32 PM ----------

	Originally Posted by QueenOfSwords To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	That when I say that, I really mean...NO. There is nothing to read between the lines. I am saying exactly what I mean. Always. At least when I'm being serious.

Yes!

**Havoc313** · 04-05-2012, 11:22 PM

People think I am cold hearted and a jackass when I such kind person.

**plushbug** · 04-06-2012, 02:30 AM

Not only am I incapable of being (especially as a female) a warm, nurturing, emotionally effusive and loving person...I am incapable of WANTING to be.

**spock84** · 04-09-2012, 09:08 AM

As a moderate introvert I wish they understood that I don't really have any urge to have (close) friends and that feeling sorry for me for not having any, or even making fun of me for not having any or trying to use it as an insult, does not make sense to me at all.

Yes, this post and my joining this forum was sparked by some recent incidents. Not because I'm hurt, but because I'm annoyed by their ignorance.

I've experienced the following a few times on another fairly civilized forum:
1. I share my unfavorable opinion on something trivial (movie, TV show, music or whatever).
2. Some other person wildly disagrees and reacts very emotionally and immaturely. I'm guessing this person is an EFxJ or similar.
3. I respond politely and to the point, asking for the same in return, without much luck.
4. In some other, unrelated thread I share some of my introvertedness, saying I have no friends by choice and no strong urge to "hang out" etc.
5. The other person (or another person in the same clique) responds in one or all of the following ways (or similar):
"This explains so much!"
"Do you have some kind of disorder?"
"You sound like a boring person - no wonder no one wants to hang out with you."
"You're just making up excuses for being a sad person that no one wants to hang out with."

The latter two being a total (deliberate?) misrepresentation/misunderstanding. I know, it's the Internet and there are assholes all over it, but still, I think that kind of stuff is more than just people being assholes. They're just genuinely unable to grasp that we aren't all wired the same way when it comes to social relations.

I've also experienced stuff like that in real life, but not to the same extent. Mostly from my girlfriend when she occasionally wants me out of the house because she's having her girl friends over (think Paul Rudd's character's girlfriend in I Love You, Man).

**Magda** · 04-09-2012, 09:35 PM

	Originally Posted by plushbug To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Not only am I incapable of being (especially as a female) a warm, nurturing, emotionally effusive and loving person...I am incapable of WANTING to be.

So true. Much to the dismay of my ISFJ mother.

**Ferbguy101** · 04-10-2012, 04:31 PM

I dont care about how your day went or what you did

im not a therapist

I rant...ALOT

Have a reason to back up everything you do or say or ill regaurde it as useless

Horrible at typing

very intimidating but its only because I want to strike up a conversation

Do not agree with everything I say, the more you argue, the more I like you

**Thinker** · 04-10-2012, 04:57 PM

I am unique....just like everyone else.

**HarleyQuinn** · 04-10-2012, 05:15 PM

01: Like many others have mentioned, facial expressions don't equate to mood. If I'm staring elsewhere other than at you/somebody else, I'm 99% thinking of something that I feel worth pondering about. If you ask why I'm sad/angry or tell me to smile more, that doesn't help. If anything, that will just agitate me even more and associate you with agitation.

02: If I chime in with an opinion or an idea, I'm not doing it for brownie points or just because. There's thought and build up behind it. Also I (obviously to myself) think it's important or merits being verbally expressed otherwise I wouldn't have said anything.

03: I do care, internally. I can get emotional, do feel emotions, and can even display said emotions. They aren't on/off switched 100% of the time.

04: I may be quiet but I can still hear and do remember events. Being honest in a negative way to my face is better than being honest tactfully behind my back.

05: If I like you, it'll show. I'll joke around more and even go so far as to be touchy/feely in rare moments. Just because I don't do it with somebody else doesn't necessarily mean I don't like them. I may like them even but it's all about my own comfort level. If you're one of the lucky ones that I do joke and get touchy feely with... consider yourself very blessed and don't take it for granted.

06: When performing a task, I have high expectations. I'm sorry if you feel like I'm unrealistic in thinking you can meet them too. I'm not doing it to impress others nor to make myself look good. I only care about expediency and efficiency.

**My Feral Shadow** · 04-11-2012, 04:57 AM

I would like it if E types would stop trying to "fix"me. They think I'm depressed or shy because I don't enjoy the same things they do. I can't tell you how many times I've had people (usually girlfriends or wives of friends)that are determined to "break me out of my shell" and be more sociable. They think that making me go out to loud bars with lots of people and getting me to dance and "let loose" is what is going to "fix" me. Like I'm going to do that and suddenly a light is going to click on in my head and I'm going to realize that it's the way I'm supposed to be. I'm abnormal and they want to make me "normal".

They just don't understand that I hate loud bars where I can't talk to anyone or have a conversation. That's not to say I don't enjoy going to hear a band play once in a while or going to a concert and partying hardy now and then. I just don't want to do it as a repertoire for socializing. I like to be social sometimes. I like to go to a backyard BBQ and be around lots of friends sometimes. I like to go out in small groups. Usually places we can talk or focus on an activity together. Something that interests ME at least a little bit. I don't like dancing. Never have. Never will.

Our society doesn't understand introverts very well. Not long ago I was talking to a couple of people who have had some college courses in psych. At one point in the conversation Introversion came up. We weren't discussing psychology. Just a general conversation about personality of people we know. This one woman said to me " I don't like being around introverts". "they freak me out". I looked at her and said "well it doesn't seem like you have a problem being around me". She then told me that I wasn't really Introverted. I wasn't a "severe introvert" because I can be around people and talk and function normally.She siaid introverted people are all shy and isolated due to trauma or mental deficiencies or aberrations that they haven't worked out.
I tried to explain what introversion is but they both disagreed. One had a minor in psych and had worked for a crisis center. The other had a few semesters in college as well.
After being barraged with $10 words and getting nowhere I just couldn't take it. I asked how long ago it was that they were in college and it had been 20+ years. I was so pissed about the ignorance I finally said "If that's what they taught you they took your money". Then I said " if you made money counceling people with that you made out like a bandit". "How do I get in on that racket?". Yeah I'm an ass....

**MrFlaneur** · 04-11-2012, 05:02 AM

I wish that people would consider the idea that, just because i'm not like them, that I don't want the things that they want, I am not a failure - far from it.

**VF1J** · 04-11-2012, 10:14 AM

I wish people would know that when I tell the truth, I don't mean for it to be an insult.

Apparently I have caused tears.

**desertstorm** · 04-11-2012, 10:18 AM

I wish people understood how right iam in my head...no arrogance intended

**Forte** · 04-11-2012, 01:01 PM

Yeah, I wish people would be forward with me. I hate it when people beat around the bush.

**krisl** · 04-11-2012, 06:43 PM

I wish people would understand that just because I don't gush about my emotions or put in a lot of effort into friendships, it doesn't mean I'm uncaring or don't like them.

**X51** · 04-11-2012, 08:49 PM

- Don't ask me to critique your work unless you can handle your "brilliant" idea getting shredded to bits.

- Don' tell me I'm harsh. I only tell you the truth, that you can't handle it is your problem, not mine.

- Don't tell me you are always right. No one is, even I am not despite the ridiculous amount of time I spend checking, re-checking and re-re-checking my ideas for rigorousness.

- I do not care who you are, I only care if what you say is reasonable.

**Witch Doctor** · 04-15-2012, 07:54 PM

The "death stare" does not mean that I'm mad at you. Please don't ask me if I'm mad at you. Nothing makes me madder than this. The reality is, I don't care enough to be mad at you. And if I do happen to care about you, you will know if I'm mad at you because I will tell you!

**opium** · 04-17-2012, 06:33 PM

	Originally Posted by MaybeThanh To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I wish people knew that I'm not "talking like a smartypants" just to impress them.

This, this and this.

I genuinely don't understand people who don't want to know everything about a topic. Not in a Michael Schofield type obsessive way - I just mean, if someone has insightful extras to add, why is that not interesting?!

**MrGraves** · 05-05-2012, 04:33 PM

Just because I don't greet you, doesn't mean I dislike you. It doesn't mean I like you either though.

When you get the look-of-resentment from me, I want you to hang yourself, because whatever stupid shit you just said made you deserving of termination.

Don't join in on a conversation you weren't invited to. If I want your input, I'll ask for it.

Dancingqueen · 05-05-2012, 05:53 PM

Hearing all the minute details about what you ate, who you saw and what you did today is my idea of hell.

**Shadizar** · 05-05-2012, 05:56 PM

Don't ever, ever... EVER!!! take me someplace FUN!!!

**citizenRoark** · 05-06-2012, 08:37 AM

Just because I don't smile much, doesn't mean I don't have the capacity to care.

I am content being by myself - do not feel sorry for me.

I hate undue praise, but bask in it when I'm deserving of it.

If I'm mad, its just as likely that its with myself than with you.

**MechanicalSun** · 05-06-2012, 08:58 AM

Don't ask me anything if you aren't expecting a possibly hurtful honest answer.

**koakuma** · 05-06-2012, 12:59 PM

1. Just because you think I'm always "happy and positive" doesn't mean I haven't gone through hell and back. I just don't have any emotions towards what happened to me in the past. Experience, learn from experience (in a good way), process, MOVE ON.

2. Put it on the table -> discuss (pro/con) -> keep/discard -> NEXT!
"it" as in information, data, theory, suggestions, thoughts, whatever.

I guess my "move on" and "next" are highly influenced by the people I'm currently surrounded by - two Feelers who let their past haunt them. There's always something wrong in their lives. Your negativity is NOT going to help us write our paper! Bah! I'm supposed to be the bigger man in this case, but currently I'm not... at all.. I just want to get this over with so I can focus on something ego.

**Shadizar** · 05-06-2012, 02:18 PM

Don't assume that my life has been all peaches and cream; and don't act like you're the only one to suffer a shitty life, and don't assume you don't hold some responsibility for it.

**Clarity** · 05-06-2012, 03:05 PM

I would really like people to know that,....

-I take offense when someone proceeds to tell me about the mundane happenings of their everyday life. Be advised that I will even resort to blatent insults to shut you up or get rid of you.

-Just because Im friendly, doesnt mean Im your friend.

-No, I wouldnt like to go to the bathroom with you.

(you can tell Iv had a very trying week.)

04-05-2012, 11:22 PM	#52
Havoc313 Member [03%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Mar 2012 Posts: 130	People think I am cold hearted and a jackass when I such kind person.
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04-06-2012, 02:30 AM	#53
plushbug Member [29%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Aug 2009 Posts: 1,181	Not only am I incapable of being (especially as a female) a warm, nurturing, emotionally effusive and loving person...I am incapable of WANTING to be.
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04-09-2012, 09:08 AM	#54
spock84 Member [02%] MBTI: INTx Join Date: Apr 2012 Posts: 103	As a moderate introvert I wish they understood that I don't really have any urge to have (close) friends and that feeling sorry for me for not having any, or even making fun of me for not having any or trying to use it as an insult, does not make sense to me at all. Yes, this post and my joining this forum was sparked by some recent incidents. Not because I'm hurt, but because I'm annoyed by their ignorance. I've experienced the following a few times on another fairly civilized forum: 1. I share my unfavorable opinion on something trivial (movie, TV show, music or whatever). 2. Some other person wildly disagrees and reacts very emotionally and immaturely. I'm guessing this person is an EFxJ or similar. 3. I respond politely and to the point, asking for the same in return, without much luck. 4. In some other, unrelated thread I share some of my introvertedness, saying I have no friends by choice and no strong urge to "hang out" etc. 5. The other person (or another person in the same clique) responds in one or all of the following ways (or similar): "This explains so much!" "Do you have some kind of disorder?" "You sound like a boring person - no wonder no one wants to hang out with you." "You're just making up excuses for being a sad person that no one wants to hang out with." The latter two being a total (deliberate?) misrepresentation/misunderstanding. I know, it's the Internet and there are assholes all over it, but still, I think that kind of stuff is more than just people being assholes. They're just genuinely unable to grasp that we aren't all wired the same way when it comes to social relations. I've also experienced stuff like that in real life, but not to the same extent. Mostly from my girlfriend when she occasionally wants me out of the house because she's having her girl friends over (think Paul Rudd's character's girlfriend in I Love You, Man).
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04-10-2012, 04:31 PM	#56
Ferbguy101 Member [11%] MBTI: INTP Join Date: Aug 2011 Posts: 453	I dont care about how your day went or what you did im not a therapist I rant...ALOT Have a reason to back up everything you do or say or ill regaurde it as useless Horrible at typing very intimidating but its only because I want to strike up a conversation Do not agree with everything I say, the more you argue, the more I like you
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04-10-2012, 04:57 PM	#57
Thinker Core Member [117%] MBTI: INTj Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 4,695	I am unique....just like everyone else.
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04-10-2012, 05:15 PM	#58
HarleyQuinn Member [08%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 334	01: Like many others have mentioned, facial expressions don't equate to mood. If I'm staring elsewhere other than at you/somebody else, I'm 99% thinking of something that I feel worth pondering about. If you ask why I'm sad/angry or tell me to smile more, that doesn't help. If anything, that will just agitate me even more and associate you with agitation. 02: If I chime in with an opinion or an idea, I'm not doing it for brownie points or just because. There's thought and build up behind it. Also I (obviously to myself) think it's important or merits being verbally expressed otherwise I wouldn't have said anything. 03: I do care, internally. I can get emotional, do feel emotions, and can even display said emotions. They aren't on/off switched 100% of the time. 04: I may be quiet but I can still hear and do remember events. Being honest in a negative way to my face is better than being honest tactfully behind my back. 05: If I like you, it'll show. I'll joke around more and even go so far as to be touchy/feely in rare moments. Just because I don't do it with somebody else doesn't necessarily mean I don't like them. I may like them even but it's all about my own comfort level. If you're one of the lucky ones that I do joke and get touchy feely with... consider yourself very blessed and don't take it for granted. 06: When performing a task, I have high expectations. I'm sorry if you feel like I'm unrealistic in thinking you can meet them too. I'm not doing it to impress others nor to make myself look good. I only care about expediency and efficiency.
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04-11-2012, 04:57 AM	#59
My Feral Shadow New Member [01%] MBTI: INTP Join Date: Mar 2012 Posts: 67	I would like it if E types would stop trying to "fix"me. They think I'm depressed or shy because I don't enjoy the same things they do. I can't tell you how many times I've had people (usually girlfriends or wives of friends)that are determined to "break me out of my shell" and be more sociable. They think that making me go out to loud bars with lots of people and getting me to dance and "let loose" is what is going to "fix" me. Like I'm going to do that and suddenly a light is going to click on in my head and I'm going to realize that it's the way I'm supposed to be. I'm abnormal and they want to make me "normal". They just don't understand that I hate loud bars where I can't talk to anyone or have a conversation. That's not to say I don't enjoy going to hear a band play once in a while or going to a concert and partying hardy now and then. I just don't want to do it as a repertoire for socializing. I like to be social sometimes. I like to go to a backyard BBQ and be around lots of friends sometimes. I like to go out in small groups. Usually places we can talk or focus on an activity together. Something that interests ME at least a little bit. I don't like dancing. Never have. Never will. Our society doesn't understand introverts very well. Not long ago I was talking to a couple of people who have had some college courses in psych. At one point in the conversation Introversion came up. We weren't discussing psychology. Just a general conversation about personality of people we know. This one woman said to me " I don't like being around introverts". "they freak me out". I looked at her and said "well it doesn't seem like you have a problem being around me". She then told me that I wasn't really Introverted. I wasn't a "severe introvert" because I can be around people and talk and function normally.She siaid introverted people are all shy and isolated due to trauma or mental deficiencies or aberrations that they haven't worked out. I tried to explain what introversion is but they both disagreed. One had a minor in psych and had worked for a crisis center. The other had a few semesters in college as well. After being barraged with $10 words and getting nowhere I just couldn't take it. I asked how long ago it was that they were in college and it had been 20+ years. I was so pissed about the ignorance I finally said "If that's what they taught you they took your money". Then I said " if you made money counceling people with that you made out like a bandit". "How do I get in on that racket?". Yeah I'm an ass....
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04-11-2012, 05:02 AM	#60
MrFlaneur Veteran Member [56%] MBTI: INTj Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 2,246	I wish that people would consider the idea that, just because i'm not like them, that I don't want the things that they want, I am not a failure - far from it.
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04-11-2012, 10:14 AM	#61
VF1J Member [47%] MBTI: INTx Join Date: May 2010 Posts: 1,898	I wish people would know that when I tell the truth, I don't mean for it to be an insult. Apparently I have caused tears.
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04-11-2012, 10:18 AM	#62
desertstorm Member [17%] MBTI: eNTp Join Date: Apr 2012 Posts: 702	I wish people understood how right iam in my head...no arrogance intended
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04-11-2012, 01:01 PM	#63
Forte Member [03%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Mar 2012 Posts: 144	Yeah, I wish people would be forward with me. I hate it when people beat around the bush.
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04-11-2012, 06:43 PM	#64
krisl Member [07%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Feb 2012 Posts: 315	I wish people would understand that just because I don't gush about my emotions or put in a lot of effort into friendships, it doesn't mean I'm uncaring or don't like them.
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04-11-2012, 08:49 PM	#65
X51 New Member [01%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Apr 2012 Posts: 54	- Don't ask me to critique your work unless you can handle your "brilliant" idea getting shredded to bits. - Don' tell me I'm harsh. I only tell you the truth, that you can't handle it is your problem, not mine. - Don't tell me you are always right. No one is, even I am not despite the ridiculous amount of time I spend checking, re-checking and re-re-checking my ideas for rigorousness. - I do not care who you are, I only care if what you say is reasonable.
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04-15-2012, 07:54 PM	#66
Witch Doctor New Member [01%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Apr 2012 Posts: 47	The "death stare" does not mean that I'm mad at you. Please don't ask me if I'm mad at you. Nothing makes me madder than this. The reality is, I don't care enough to be mad at you. And if I do happen to care about you, you will know if I'm mad at you because I will tell you!
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05-05-2012, 04:33 PM	#68
MrGraves New Member [01%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 51	Just because I don't greet you, doesn't mean I dislike you. It doesn't mean I like you either though. When you get the look-of-resentment from me, I want you to hang yourself, because whatever stupid shit you just said made you deserving of termination. Don't join in on a conversation you weren't invited to. If I want your input, I'll ask for it.
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05-05-2012, 05:53 PM	#69
Dancingqueen Core Member [133%] MBTI: iNTJ Join Date: Sep 2011 Posts: 5,345	Hearing all the minute details about what you ate, who you saw and what you did today is my idea of hell.
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05-05-2012, 05:56 PM	#70
Shadizar Core Member [171%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Feb 2011 Posts: 6,879	Don't ever, ever... EVER!!! take me someplace FUN!!!
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05-06-2012, 08:37 AM	#71
citizenRoark New Member [01%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Apr 2012 Posts: 21	Just because I don't smile much, doesn't mean I don't have the capacity to care. I am content being by myself - do not feel sorry for me. I hate undue praise, but bask in it when I'm deserving of it. If I'm mad, its just as likely that its with myself than with you.
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05-06-2012, 08:58 AM	#72
MechanicalSun Member [36%] MBTI: iNTJ Join Date: Apr 2012 Posts: 1,451	Don't ask me anything if you aren't expecting a possibly hurtful honest answer.
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05-06-2012, 12:59 PM	#73
koakuma Member [46%] MBTI: xNTx Join Date: Mar 2012 Posts: 1,877	1. Just because you think I'm always "happy and positive" doesn't mean I haven't gone through hell and back. I just don't have any emotions towards what happened to me in the past. Experience, learn from experience (in a good way), process, MOVE ON. 2. Put it on the table -> discuss (pro/con) -> keep/discard -> NEXT! "it" as in information, data, theory, suggestions, thoughts, whatever. I guess my "move on" and "next" are highly influenced by the people I'm currently surrounded by - two Feelers who let their past haunt them. There's always something wrong in their lives. Your negativity is NOT going to help us write our paper! Bah! I'm supposed to be the bigger man in this case, but currently I'm not... at all.. I just want to get this over with so I can focus on something ego.
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05-06-2012, 02:18 PM	#74
Shadizar Core Member [171%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Feb 2011 Posts: 6,879	Don't assume that my life has been all peaches and cream; and don't act like you're the only one to suffer a shitty life, and don't assume you don't hold some responsibility for it.
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05-06-2012, 03:05 PM	#75
Clarity New Member [01%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Dec 2011 Posts: 34	I would really like people to know that,.... -I take offense when someone proceeds to tell me about the mundane happenings of their everyday life. Be advised that I will even resort to blatent insults to shut you up or get rid of you. -Just because Im friendly, doesnt mean Im your friend. -No, I wouldnt like to go to the bathroom with you. (you can tell Iv had a very trying week.)
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