[Mariko]

So it seems many of my very close friends fall into this category ENFJ or the "Teacher". One of my friends in particular I love so very much yet we tend to argue about silly things. He is also one of the most "in my business" friends I have, getting into and going through all of my things; my computer, my journals you name it. Does this type work well in realtionships more then friendships? Any good advice on how to not rub each other wrong? Thanks

[bricklayer]

Of the very few close friends I have one of them is a "Teacher." We get along great but sometimes have trouble communicating. I believe we each prefer to wait for the other one to initiate a conversation or meeting. We tend to disagree on some philosophy and major concerns of life yet we still enjoy eachothers company. I have noticed that it's important to be careful what you say and how to say it. He is very strong in his beliefs and if yours is something he doesn't approve of he will let you know.
One thing I do not find attractive is that his personality seems to shift when he's dealing with his family. It totally flips, he becomes stern, strict and fussy.

[bored1]

I fell in love with an ENFJ, and one thing I notice about them is that they can change alot when talking to different people. Sometimes it's to the point where I'll be startled by how she's acting and wonder what's going on with her.

That's when she turns to me and changes into the person she is for me.

It's a bit strange, really.

[BallentineChen]

I've seen that before in one of my ENFJ friends.

[Uytuun]

I have an ENFJ friend that claims she's borderline E...I feel so accepted by her, and that's a really nice feeling. I think she's the only person I know in whose presence I do more talking than listening. I do feel like she expects more absolute loyalty...i.e. I often have to turn down offers to get together (because it's less of a priority to me, I guess) and then she seems really disappointed...which makes me feel like a ruthless selfish bitch TBH...but I do it anyway.
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This is a bit like "in your business" I guess. My INFJ friend is similar. The ENFJ has quite a vivid imagination due to Ni and is into fantasy etc. but is much less abstract/insightful than I am, though she's interested in my ideas. She clearly has less control over her Ni, it seems to be just fantasy. I notice that our Ni's can be a bitch when we get into discussions. She's also totally scatter-brained, but at the same time more realistic, traditional and down-to-eath than I am. Very much a family person too...not hugely popular, but not disliked by anybody either...she blends in easily, I always feel like I stick out.

As for more than friends...I could see it work, but the Fe might be annoying...they tend to want to please others so badly their own personality suffers and need quite some attention. I think it might be a safer bet than an ENFP, but also a less exciting one.

[Henry]

Originally Posted by Mariko To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

So it seems many of my very close friends fall into this category ENFJ or the "Teacher". One of my friends in particular I love so very much yet we tend to argue about silly things. He is also one of the most "in my business" friends I have, getting into and going through all of my things; my computer, my journals you name it. Does this type work well in realtionships more then friendships? Any good advice on how to not rub each other wrong? Thanks

No way for things to go perfectly smoothly with the control-freak ENFJ and fiercely independent INTJ. That said, I've only known a few and gotten along well with them all in the long run. I also respect most of them, which I can't say of ESFP, ISTJ, ENTJ or ISFJ.

[Mariko]

After being in a very long relationship with my own type INTJ, I have found my ENFJ friend( a long time friend) whom I wish to spend my life with such a breath of fresh air. He is a bit of a control freak but that's better then the INTJ who did not give a damn what i did...I can understand but too much alike is not fun.

[ToC]

It seems as if in the last two months I've met quite a few ambitious ENFJs. Under various circumstances we've collaborated to meet certain ends, and I must say that the results are very interesting.

First, let me lay out the dynamics:

INTJ: (at least me)
- highly self-sufficient
- consumed by one or several obsessive drives (writing, art.. etc.)
- anal retentive about planning ahead
- dislikes surprises
- dislikes a lack of punctuality
- dislikes wasting time reiterating statements
- can tie abstract details of an idea into a strategic whole with unnatural ease
- highly values competence in others
- slightly prickly around other perfectionists/competitive types
- slightly uncomfortable breaking the ice with people


ENFJ:
- superb at breaking the ice in social situations
- plans ahead
- practically visionaries when they have a goal
- empathetic to relate to just about everybody on a personal level
- punctual
- lacks the scatter-brained unreliability of the ENFP (as much as I love ENFPs)
- is smart enough to contribute unique insight
- somehow, perhaps through the aid of J, manages to make clearly logical decisions despite the NF

For you INTJ entrepreneurs with shitty social skills... you'd best get crackin'

[Nemesis]

I have also collaborated with ENFJs on several projects and I think we are in sync with our observations of them. I have found them to be tremendously effective partners. If you can get ENFJs and INTJs to share a common vision for an outcome, you have a damned fine team. The INTJ can cook up a brilliant (yet weird) plan and the ENFJ can refine it to make it more palatable to others and execute the plan very effectively. I have also noticed that INTJ/ENFJ teams can sync their pace very well and operate smoothly and efficiently.

[IceDream]

I find ENFJs quite difficult to work with. I seem to offend them all the time and I have no idea what I've done. Also, they seem to get obsessed with me and want to be with me, talk to me, follow me, copy me, socialise with me, etc. Of course, I only have a sample size of three ENFJs so it may not be representative.

[Pandemonium]

	Originally Posted by IceDream To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I find ENFJs quite difficult to work with. I seem to offend them all the time and I have no idea what I've done. Also, they seem to get obsessed with me and want to be with me, talk to me, follow me, copy me, socialise with me, etc. Of course, I only have a sample size of three ENFJs so it may not be representative.

Perhaps, you're an interesting, insightful person?

[IceDream]

	Originally Posted by Pandemonium To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Perhaps, you're an interesting, insightful person?

Nah, I'm more an annoying, arrogant, cold sort of person. Would that make me an ENFJ magnet?

[IreOfDesire]

They tend to get overemotional, try to be nice with everyone even with those who they dislike ... or ... even despise. Welcome to the realm of the Hypocrisy. It could get quite annoying sometimes.

But they seem to have one of the highest EQs. An INTJ can only stare and admire how they interact in social environment.

[lambpox]

I am currently ensuing a friendship with an ENFJ. She loves me, and I'm not really sure why...she said she always thought my personality was mysterious and interesting, and said the same thing about my other INTJ friend. She's very, very energetic and she gets excited very easily. She's one of the most dedicated, headstrong people I know. But yes, she tends to be a little too overemotional and most of the time I go on auto-pilot and just nod and smile.

	An INTJ can only stare and admire how they interact in social environment.

Exactly. But sometimes, I think she puts up this fake veil for the rest of the world, and she even admits this. She tries to be someone she's not to impress or even flatter others. She's great, trust me (I admire her dedication and ability to work without rest) but sometimes she can be too "fake".

[Antares]

I know one ENFJ and that's my little cousin... I can't stand him at all (flighty, competitive, delusions of grandeur, disciplined, slightly spoilt, illogical on many issues), but that might be due to his immaturity; he's only 11 after all.

[ToC]

	Originally Posted by Antares To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I know one ENFJ and that's my little cousin... I can't stand him at all (flighty, competitive, delusions of grandeur, disciplined, slightly spoilt, illogical on many issues), but that might be due to his immaturity; he's only 11 after all.

It's hard for me to peg people under the age of 13 as even having a personality, bad as that sounds.

And yes, I've found that ENFJs do tend to get somewhat... not sure if "obsessed" is the right word with their INTJ as somebody posted earlier.

I suppose one of the downsides of befriending or working with an ENFJ is they'll be offended when you move on or seemingly "ditch" them.

[Anon722]

Rule number one:

Never put two strong Js together.

[AnotherNormal]

My sister is an enfj. Yes, amazing with social interaction. And not just good at it, likes it.

Yes, easily offended, I say the wrong things on a regular basis. And have no idea why she would take what I said as anything hurtful.

If I stray and talk about something the lest bit technical, she is lost, can't go there.

This is just one sample, your results may vary.

[Grace]

	Originally Posted by Anon722 To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Rule number one: Never put two strong Js together.

Make that two IMMATURE strong Js - people who have mastered the art of sharing and taking turns, doing it respectfully and with mindfulness, can accomplish much and truly enrich one another.

[Henry]

	Originally Posted by IceDream To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I find ENFJs quite difficult to work with. I seem to offend them all the time and I have no idea what I've done. Also, they seem to get obsessed with me and want to be with me, talk to me, follow me, copy me, socialise with me, etc. Of course, I only have a sample size of three ENFJs so it may not be representative.

It sounds like you're interacting with immature ENFJs.

They complement INTJ very well, but, yeah, we bruise their egos a lot.

[IceDream]

	Originally Posted by Henry To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	It sounds like you're interacting with immature ENFJs. They complement INTJ very well, but, yeah, we bruise their egos a lot.

In years, the ENFJs I work with are all quite mature. We're talking about a 42 year old male, a woman in her fifties and a woman in her late thirties. I find them very interesting people and have quite a bit in common with them but I just find that I'm always hurting their feelings. Also, they make me a bit uncomfortable by asking about how I feel, by interpreting my behaviour and pschoanalysing me.

The male will say things like: "You only behave coldly to keep people at a distance because you're afraid you'll get hurt."

I dislike that sort of shallow analysis.

The woman in her fifties will ask me things like: "I feel that you don't like me very much or that you're angry with me. Is something wrong?" This is usually when I'm actually not feeling angry at all.

I dislike having to think about feely things like that. It makes me uncomfortable.

[Hatsumomo1]

Ehhhhh

For me, and E and an F tend to be a bad combination in my experience. I was friends with a few of them (though it was a small sample.) All I can say is they're annoying as hell when they're in a bad mood. And it's extra annoying when they become armchair psychologists, as IceDream pointed out.

I also tend to piss them off a lot.

[Thinker]

Hmmmm - interesting issue.

I recently had an ENFJ female from my workplace leave for another job - we got on really well from day one - there was a "spark". We understood each other really well - I could understand her problems with her INFP husband.

I have just found out that everyone thought we were having an affair!!!
(We are both married) - we weren't!!!!

I have had this type of close working relationship with a number of ENFx females over the years. I find there is very little friction - we often share the same type of humour. We don't compete with one another.

[Deliberator]

A certain in-law of mine is an ENFJ and we get along pretty well for the most part. She is a "take charge" kind of person who tries her best to soften the attitude a bit but it just comes off in a patronizing motherly kind of way. VERY motherly. Tends to overreact, overcontrol, gets TOO involved if I ask for help, doesn't understand my need for emotional distance, tends not to respect me fully because I'm much younger and female (and obviously that means I don't know shit about anything).

Her unique insight is what I love most about her. Although she doesn't like impersonal or super-objectified analysis as much as I, she never hesitates to jump into an analytical conversation with great gusto. She also has a wicked sense of humor.

[ToC]

Originally Posted by Deliberator To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

A certain in-law of mine is an ENFJ and we get along pretty well for the most part. She is a "take charge" kind of person who tries her best to soften the attitude a bit but it just comes off in a patronizing motherly kind of way. VERY motherly. Tends to overreact, overcontrol, gets TOO involved if I ask for help, doesn't understand my need for emotional distance, tends not to respect me fully because I'm much younger and female (and obviously that means I don't know shit about anything). Her unique insight is what I love most about her. Although she doesn't like impersonal or super-objectified analysis as much as I, she never hesitates to jump into an analytical conversation with great gusto. She also has a wicked sense of humor.

she sounds like a pushy ESFJ from your description.