[Aklis]

Last year up to this spring, I was an avid runner. During the summer, I did some basic strength training instead, but I grew bored and stopped exercising in the beginning of August.

However, I recently heard of Krav Maga, an Israeli fighting "method" and decided to try it out. It is, I must admit, awesome.

There is one problem, though. I can't stand group exercise. I do not have any problem with running in the park, and I do most of my lifting and other strength training at home, but when it comes to controlled group exercise, I cannot stand it.

Being forced to work together with someone else just puts me off entirely, and I come home feeling "violated", as if someone has intruded on my privacy. I don't have any problems with physical contact. I don't go looking for it, but in cases like these, it's fine.

I can't really put the finger on what it is, but, as stated earlier, I just feel "violated".

I imagine at least some of you know what I'm talking about?

[Fubudis]

I did martial arts for 12 years and always thrived on independance as opposed to the partner/group work.

My desire for perfection outweighed my dislike of the contact though. You'll never be proficient in fighting without some realistic experience, which involved physical contact.

[zibber]

I did a little bit of karate, and I definitely preferred the katas over kumite / partnering up.

Krav Maga is more focused on practical application, right?

(At first I thought the title was "Hangups about public execution". I blame the hang part.)

[davai]

I play team sports and don't mind working out (weights/running) with people, though i also do yoga but never once considered joining a class, i've learnt it on my own from books/practice. I like to do it practically naked though which is probably a big factor in that.

[Avelas67]

I currently do Muay Thai and I simply aim to beat the other guys. Partner training? I'll just last longer, hit harder, faster and more precisely. I rarely talk and it basically is alone time.

[Haumea]

That's kinda the reason I keep putting off Krav Maga.

Would love the skills but hate the training method: loud music (no thanks), and partnering up with God-knows-who.

[pironiro]

You'll never be proficient in any type of fighting without partner training.

Some systematic desensitization might work.

[clumsywordsmith]

And I thought I was a socially anxious misanthrope. Seriously, though, start by getting a membership at the local gym and just force yourself to go. I used to hate working out at the gym -- it felt as though every single eye were focused upon me, and I was doing something wrong the entire time.

But it lasted about a week, if that, and soon enough I just started walking into the place every day as though I owned it.

As for working directly with someone else? Something else you just have to get used to. I swam on a team for several years and simply got used to having a crush of other people all around me, and the feeling of having my own personal space repeatedly violated by a bunch of (mostly to me) strangers. You just have to take it as part of the difficulty, suck it up, and learn to adapt.

[mieu]

I'm almost the exact opposite. When I did martial arts I didn't mind working out amongst the broader group--it's when I'm by myself huffing and puffing like a wounded antelope while people pass by that I feel uncomfortable.

[OwenF]

Though I can exercise when other people are around and used to play and enjoy team sports, I have a hard time concentrating when group exercise is too . . . choreographic. When I see a sizable group of people all doing the same thing at the same time, I tend to find it creepy, hilarious, or both creepy and hilarious. The halftime show at the Super Bowl is usually funny to me, though the amusement is mixed with some contempt and sympathy because almost everything (outside of the group gyrations, funnily enough) is so poorly done. Aerobics classes are funny because the synchronization is always a little off; it's like seeing the mechanical guts of a watch right before it breaks.

The opening ceremonies at the Olympics are the best, though. It's as if Joseph Goebbels got together with Paula Abdul, the Southern Poverty Law Center, George Lucas, and the creators of the Care Bears. The ones in Canada and China had me in tears.

Got a little off track there. Other people? Yes. Choreography? Can't keep it together.

[Warrior]

I don't have any trouble working in Krav class or in the gym when I'm by myself. I don't think I could really get into an aerobics class or yoga or any group exercise like that. I'm not sure why. I just have no desire to participate in those types of classes.

[jonnyb]

I seldom like to work in groups while in pursuit of my personal goals, whether mental, physical, or spiritual. I find I have more tolerance to do so some days than others.

Using martial arts as an example: I have foregone a number of my martial art training classes because of not wanting to be in association with a large group of people (more than 4 or 5). I am ok with one on one instruction and sparing with a few closer acquaintances. I want to learn martial arts for my own knowledge. I am not interested in obtaining rank/belts. I refuse to test for belt advancements, something that perplexes my instructor. I know that most others in the classes have specific ambitions to satisfy. Although I know a number of forms from many of the ranks used, I mix them up as they flow together. I get a lot of flak from other students for not sticking to a specific set and also for not delivering the strikes and blocks in perfectly prescribed fashions. I am not fussy when it comes to other’s preciseness in feeding strikes as I figure it is my deal to keep from getting hit. That mentality seldom cuts both ways though.

Unfortunately, one can only train so much in any given interest alone. Good experience comes from numerous encounters with a variety of individuals. Ultimately though, I find it easier to pursue my own agenda without the stress of the demands of someone else's objectives intertwining and affecting mine. At the same time, I am quite hesitant to exhibit my skills publicly because I lack a certain type of confidence that only comes from the use of the skills in group scenarios.

[True Rune]

Admittedly I have something like that as an issue. It's not that I can't work with people, I just don't feel like being judged by a bunch of meatheads.

[BuShinJu]

Sounds like the class full of people is exactly what you need.

If some one wants to fight you they aren't going to ask you if you are feeling okay, "Mind if I punch you in the face, ready for my left hook, I'll have to invade your personal bubble to execute it, hear it comes yo, oh I'm sorry, did I break your concentration".

Fighting is all about violating. Violence and violating have the same word origin. If someone is being violent towards you they are basically saying 'I'm taking away your right to operate as a free independant person'. Then you should use your Krav Maga to tell him "No Bitch, it's lights out time for your ass, *HaDoKen*, you just got knocked the fuck out, how do you like me now!"

I've been playing beach volleyball for the last couple of seasons and have started challenging other teams 2 on 2. My partner was saying he felt nervous and intimidated by the other teams. He is a big dude. I feel nothing and I think this is due to having had people throw punches at my head for years on end.

[ppu6502]

Sweep the leg!

[sandman]

You have defined Krav Maga as an awesome skill and expressed the desire to master it. You have defined an obstacle keeping you from obtaining this skill. Obviously you have two options:
1. Choose to overcome the obstacle and reap the awesomeness.
2. Choose to obstain and forsake the experience and knowledge.

Unfortunately we can seldom select certain elements of an experience that give us pleasure and leave out the others. We have to select the obstacles as well and overcome them. As others have stated you can not truly have one and not the other in this case. You want to develop the skill of Krav Maga, but before you can do so you must develop the skill to be in close proximity of and in contact with strangers.

I think you should try to find out why you feel violated and what can be done to avoid this feeling or interpret it in a way more favorable to you. Perhaps you feel violated because you do not really want these people to touch you. Perhaps you feel that this is something you have not chosen but rather is something being done to you?
If learning Krav Maga is really something you want to achieve then part of the problem might be that you are interpreting whatever feelings you have in a detrimental way. If you choose to do this you have also chosen to be physically close to strangers, to touch and to let them touch you. This is not something happening to you which you are enduring, this is something you are doing. Something you choose to do. You are in control and you can abort at any time you feel you no longer want to do this.
If someone forces physical contact on me I feel violated. If I choose to touch someone or let them touch me I am not violated. I chose this, I am doing this. It is not something being done to me. It does not matter if the physical contact itself is the goal or not, nor if I am seemingly the active party or the passive one. I made an active choice to go through this experience.

[INTJV]

I can't say I'm real big on group exercise either. I've done it when it was necessary, but then I get out and work on my own.

About five years ago, I was 90 pounds heavier than I am now. I decided to join a gym, got a personal trainer, learned everything I could about nutrition and fitness (with help from a succession of personal trainers) and worked out until that weight was gone. Once it was, I quit buying personal training sessions and canceled my gym membership.

I also trained muay thai for a while with teacher-assigned sparring partners. There were a few that were good to work with, because they wanted to improve their technique (which is what I was after). Unfortunately, I usually got paired off with other tall guys that were only interested in trying to kick my head off and didn't care about technique. Once I had learned what I wanted, I quit the school.

I've come to regard exercise similar to meditation - it's great to do alone, but annoying when other people are around. That's why I lift and train muay thai striking on a bag at home and take walks at 5AM when no one else is around. It gives me time to work on my body and mind without the disruptions of other people.

[Seriously]

I prefer working with a partner, it allows me to gauge how I am doing training wise and pick up tips. I've been doing Krav for about 3 years now and beating the shit out of my partner is the best part of the class.
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