[SowZ]

I'm not talking about people who will lie to manipulate you or spare your feelings. I am talking about things like-

Person A. Well, I think it is a little odd they are going out, but the age of consent in Colorado is 17.
Person B. Actually, last July they changed it to 18.
Person C. ((Knew that the AoC was 17, looks it up, and Person B obviously made up their 'fun fact.'))

And this hasn't happened once or twice where they could just be mistaken about lots of things. It happens all the time. And not just about facts to make them sound smart, but just lies in general for, (apparently,) their own sake.

What do you do about this and why do you think people do it?

[creativestrike]

My ex was a compulsive liar. I used to point out when he lied, and made it obvious to other people, even though he was my SO and I loved him. I didn't like dealing with his bs. Other people just thought I was being a bitch, so I finally learned to ignore it, though I couldn't hide occasional smirks on my face.

Once we broke up, and people discovered many of his lies (not even through me) people started to hate him. He's moving away in a week
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[Chameleon]

Compulsive liars feel a constant need to impress people (or grip at thier imaginations); often they are the ones that spice up stories-aka storytellers. They do it to snag attention by telling you something that spikes your interest. It is a style of conversation that is for entertainment only; yet some become addicted to the power it can hold over the average mind.

Often it is best to enjoy the stories they weave; but treat them as such, and not as fact. Sometimes we need storytellers in our lives; just not as a constant.

[Dru]

i ignore the shit out of them.

[mllebrie]

I've never really dealt with one (that I remember), but I think I would lie back.

[kohreval]

Amplify. I like to see how far into the absurd I can get them to take the lie.

[Tactical Panda]

Don't trust them, and keep an eye on them. And keep an eye out for others who know they can't be trusted - see who else realizes whats going on.

[stealthfighter]

My brother is a compulsive liar (out of his enormous ego) and I just don't give any attention to it.

[creativestrike]

Originally Posted by Chameleon To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Compulsive liars feel a constant need to impress people (or grip at thier imaginations); often they are the ones that spice up stories-aka storytellers. They do it to snag attention by telling you something that spikes your interest. It is a style of conversation that is for entertainment only; yet some become addicted to the power it can hold over the average mind. Often it is best to enjoy the stories they weave; but treat them as such, and not as fact. Sometimes we need storytellers in our lives; just not as a constant.

Yes, my ex was definitely an entertaining storyteller. He was a hell of a lot of fun to be around when he wasn't lying about things that actually mattered. He would've been better to keep as a friend. I definitely learned my lesson. It takes people much longer now to earn my trust.

[ness2361]

	Originally Posted by stealthfighter To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	My brother is a compulsive liar (out of his enormous ego) and I just don't give any attention to it.

My oldest sister is a compulsive liar out of an extremely strong sense of worthlessness and a schizophrenic brain, long drug history, need to 'seem' exciting... I had to put up with her A LOT while we were growing up together--twenty-one months apart (she is older) but I keep her out of my life because I cannot trust almost anything she says, EVER, and I will not tolerate a liar--not that kind, her kind--for one minute longer than is absolutely necessary.

If I had, however, say, a co-worker (thank god for working by myself at home--my cat, Gizmo doesn't actually lie when he pretends to be hungry, it's just nature's way of making sure he is likely to get enough food), I would wait it out, if I could: how long before any intelligent, observant boss, co-worker, delivery person notices this about the sicko... or if it was a situation in which the person actually had power over you, like s/he is your boss, get another job FAST so there is a pin-hole instead of a gouge-mark in your resume.

In other words, depends on the situation, but one thing is always true: expending energy is a waste: you have, I sure as hell hope, more productive things to do with your time than listen, feed into, set yourself up to be harmed by this kind of person/problem.

[Imagineering]

It doesn't really bother me. But writer of op, don't you think the other person could of mixed that state up with another? It's easy to do this and forget things. It doesn't make a person a liar.

[Purgatid]

Well, it bothers me when someone lies. So I call them on their bullshit, every single fucking time. One of two things usually happens, either people think I'm a besserwisser and stop hanging out with me, or they think the liar is despicable and stop hanging out with Him/her.

Either way, I'm satisifed. I don't have a lot of patience with people who doesn't hold truth high enough to cut the social cord to people who lie.

[qstoffe]

Face to face I condescendingly accept everything that person has to say without taking argument. In my mind I ignore them completely.

[AkaruiRain]

It's hard spotting those people out for me, but if I come across someone doing that and was suddenly aware of what they might be doing, I might just lead them on and see what kinds of lies they could come up with. While constantly denying them all of course, even if they happened to be truths, but who could really know with someone like that. And it'd be royal seeing them get so flustered.

Of course, this is just my imagination speaking. I'd probably be so lost in thought that I'd just take it for granted, until someone challenged that person's statements. Then I might only sit back and enjoy the show with words and witty things on the tips of my tongue, though I'd never get them out.

[Crescent Fresh]

	Originally Posted by SowZ To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	And this hasn't happened once or twice where they could just be mistaken about lots of things. It happens all the time. And not just about facts to make them sound smart, but just lies in general for, (apparently,) their own sake. What do you do about this and why do you think people do it?

Those people are worse than those who compulsive liar. I mean at least for compulsive liars there's always a hidden agenda or motive behind their blatant lies.

Though those who just lie for the sake of socializing, I think they're more irritating because they're making small chit-chat becoming even less meaningful--considering I'm not good at tolerating small talks.

[KorbenDallas]

If the compulsive liar has anything remotely to do with your status in the social hierarchy, especially on the job, then be cognizant that they aren't making fun of you. Meaning, that person enjoys toying with the fact you hate liars and uses this as a way to belittle. If this person has a clique, then it is possible they have collectively came up with ways to get under your skin.

If they have an agenda and you egg them on, they will eventually find something that you have no prior knowledge of (fishing tackle, bird seed, or whatever), and then you succeeded in belittling yourself. Meaning, by engaging you played their game, looking to turn their own game on them, and then inexorably failing by your own "lack of" intellect; the very thing INTJs are most proud of. They win BIG.

I just ignore them.

But, a disclaimer is I'm not a sociologist/psychiatrist... this is just an opinion.

[Senseofrelief]

Deception is the roadway that most all evil travels in the world.

Those who deceive you are your enemy. They deceive to hurt, to take advantage, to cover up, to continue nefarious ways. Deception is the defacto tool for a-moral people to operate.

Anyone lying to you, is by simple logic, opposed to you in some way. Consider this.

[Feral]

I shine them on, and pretend they're fooling me. Then subvert and ruin their illusions. Make it harder and harder for them to play the game.

[ShadowCat]

Compulsive liars are fun, especially when obvious. I find that a good dose of sarcasm handles this problem pretty well.

[creativestrike]

	Originally Posted by Senseofrelief To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Deception is the roadway that most all evil travels in the world. Those who deceive you are your enemy. They deceive to hurt, to take advantage, to cover up, to continue nefarious ways. Deception is the defacto tool for a-moral people to operate. Anyone lying to you, is by simple logic, opposed to you in some way. Consider this.

I dunno about that. Compulsive liars are different than pathological liars.

I understand how my ex learned to become a compulsive liar. He grew up having to lie to get peace at home. Now he does it for attention by creating stories. I suppose this also makes him an excellent GM in RPG's
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I guess I'll miss those games
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Basically, compulsive liars become that way out of necessity because of some negative upbringing. Pathological liars are an entirely different story.

I think I've read 50 different websites about lying and how to deal with liars. I dunno if you (OP) googled it, but here's an easy one:
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then if you keep reading, it directs you to another page telling you how to cope with compulsive liars.

[Senseofrelief]

Deception is the enemy, no matter who perpetrates it or why.

[plotthickens]

Vast depths, immense heights, breathtaking widths of ignore the fuck out of them.

[Rsquared]

I'm a sarcastic compulsive liar. Within the first month of knowing me, people say they have no idea what to believe. I'll admit that I was kidding about something if the person can't read my sarcasm, otherwise after a while people will know what the real answer is based on what I say it isn't.

Why am I so weird?
Compulsive lying= my sarcasm=opposite day every day.

[The Prince]

	Originally Posted by Rsquared To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I'm a sarcastic compulsive liar. Within the first month of knowing me, people say they have no idea what to believe. I'll admit that I was kidding about something if the person can't read my sarcasm, otherwise after a while people will know what the real answer is based on what I say it isn't. Why am I so weird? Compulsive lying= my sarcasm=opposite day every day.

I lie sarcastically also. It's funny and I'd rather not have people know what I'm thinking.

I usually tell people to disregard everything I say but take all of what I say very seriously.

[Indubitably]

You know, I've met a few people who did seem to lie compulsively, and I really don't think they fit into the same category as people who just exaggerate to draw your attention to what they are saying, or people who lie to cover for some form of social vulnerability (aka "sarcastic-liars"). Its not so clean cut and obvious as a deliberate lie, it doesn't look like someone spicing up a story a little to grab your attention (most exaggerators will readily cop to what they are doing for that matter, if not periodically slip in disclaimers to let you know that they shouldn't be taken too literally), or someone deliberately painting a declaration in the light of absurdity like they do with sarcasm. I usually seems like people who distort or deflect the truth as a social tool like this actually want you to recognize what they are doing, but accept it anyway. With compulsive liars the lie is much more subtle, its more like they half believe the lie themselves; most of the time it will be something that absolutely could have been true under slightly different circumstances, save for one or two details that just don't jive with reality, and even when the lie is somewhat grandiose in character it usually won't be so obviously over the top that you find it exceptionally difficult to believe.

For instance, I once knew a girl that had constructed a fictitious suicidal "brother" (whom she later described as not really being her brother, but rather just a very close friend whom she thought of as a brother), and while I'm sure that there must have been plenty of times when she knew exactly what she was doing, it almost seemed as if half the time she wasn't even consciously aware of the lie. This brother had a history, a life, and an entire group of fictitious friends that he hung out with, not to mention what appeared to be years worth of shared experience with her. At the drop of a hat she could tell you exactly what the inside of his apartment looked like, what he liked to eat, where and with whom he hung out, the whole nine yards, then top it all off with a humorous story about how this brother and one of his fictitious friends had been splashing around in puddles last tuesday when it rained. I later discovered, through meeting people with whom we had been mutual friends, that she had gone so far as to have the brother frequent several online communities, and that in each of these communities he had befriend several people with whom he maintained regular correspondence. Aside from the fact that no one other than her had ever actually met him in person, there was virtually no way to tell that he did not actually exist; the fantasy was so elaborate, so complete, that there was almost no effort in the lie, it all seemed to come to her so naturally that you just wouldn't think to question it.

It really wasn't until you talked to other people who knew her that it started to become clear that her claims just plain didn't add up, but she was really good at keeping the people she knew isolated from each other, and she had an uncanny talent for making anyone who dug too far into it either feel incredibly guilty for questioning her, or just plain think that their head was playing tricks on them, so the whole lot of us thought we were each "the only one" that was suspicious about her stories. With people like this there really is no easy way to tell what is truth and what is fantasy, you just have to keep track of all those little nagging suspicions that crop up instead of writing them off as coincidence or misinterpretation, and talk to people, so you get as many perspectives on the situation as possible. If they say something that seems impossible, check it out, it may very well be impossible. I'm not talking about questions of character, reputation, or interpersonal relationship either; those quantities are always of a subjective nature and a compulsive liar knows exactly how to manipulate said quantities to meet their needs. What I'm talking about are claims like "person A was in this city at this time", when you have reports from a half dozen other people saying that 5 minuets later they saw person A in a city that is more than a 2 hour drive away. Just trust your gut and check the facts, with someone who lies this often there are always loose ends, if the whole damn tapestry starts to unravel as soon as you tug at a couple of random loose threads it will, more likely than not, continue to unravel if you keep tugging.