[DHutch57]

I have four major demands that are probably all equally important to me.
1) Attractiveness
2) Loyalty
3) Social skills (I like girls that can carry the conversation)
4) Intelligence

[TheoReticle]

1) an ass that won't quit
2) ... with an athletic body, otherwise
3) superior mental capacity

[poetic intj]

1. Honesty. Tell me what your favorite music really if. Don't tell me what you think I want to hear. Be bluntly honest enough to tell me that your favorite music is the sound of poo splashing in the toilet bowl.



2. Sincerity. If you really enjoy the sound of poo splashing in the toilet bowl, be sincere about that passion. Whenever you hear it, those explosions should occur inside, and your thoughts should soar to those lofty heights as you contemplate, truth, beauty, and the meaning of life as the poo swims around the bottom of the toilet bowl.



3. Courage. The courage to give moments the weight and impact they truly deserve. If I transcribed the sound of poo splashing in the toilet bowl for you (in D-minor !). When I show it to you, don't try to ease the moment by cracking some silly joke. Fuck that. This is your favorite song and I labored for hours to transcribe it for you.Embrace the moment. Embrace the awkwardness, and if it is true, give me a kiss on the spot.

[insert name]

i can't quite order something so subjective, but in a way the best way for me to describe my preferences would be like an antibarbie, same sex but opposite everything else

i see this list of more of a criteria of mutual compatibility....women who don't meet this criteria are unlikely to find me at all attractive

Silly - i am silly myself, most the girls i have been interested in have been really silly and i usually wind up spending time with them laughing at the word "boobs", having farting contests or for her to start mooing whist i did my chicken impression...not forgetting inane conversations

geeky/nerdy/Intellectual - believe it or not, silly and intellectual are not mutually exclusive, i am nerdy, i am geeky and to be honest i find it almost impossible to socialise with anyone who isn't geeky, points for knowing the cake is a lie or (insert any geeky meme)

Not sterotypically female - for some reason i find it a massive turn off if a girl has an obsession with handbags or shoes, the girls i have been attracted to were the ones who don't wear make-up and just....lived their life free of this obsession with painting themselves up. In a relationship they would wear the trousers....and that's how i like it.



(yes i know i am weird)

[logosx1]

Physical attraction. I think we can all be honest on that score.

Independence is a big one for me. I pursue many of my own interests, and my past relationships suffered because the women wanted perpetual contact or entertainment. Someone who has her own life and shares it with me is more workable than someone who demands that I make her my entire life.

A strong sense of morals, whether grounded in faith or reason. Most men and women today are governed by nothing more than momentary impulse, which makes them untrustworthy.

Granted, the chances of finding someone like this are slim, but we're expressing wishes here.

[Sumwun]

I don't care much for "beauty" in the traditional sense. However, she must have an attractive face. I don't care if she's (slightly) overweight, has stretchmarks, scars, or bad hair. But she has to have a good face. A woman's face is extremely important to me. Also, she shouldn't have anything severe like warts/missing arms or whatever. But that's about all I care for in terms of looks.

In terms of mental qualities:

1) Intelligence or Humility: I need a woman who can either teach me something new every time I talk to her, or learn something new. She doesn't have to be intelligent and humble. One works, since intelligence tends to create humility, and humility tends to develop into intelligence.

2) Kindness/patience: Obviously, I can't be with a woman who gets angry at every little thing.

3) Responsibility: This one's obvious. I want a woman to be with on the same level, not a little girl to babysit.

4) If I could add a fourth, I would really want a curious woman. There's nothing that amazes me more than a woman who questions everything and wants to grow. Typical women who care more about fashion than the processes occurring in the universe don't appeal to me.

Also, these aren't in any particular order. They're all important.

[Rivers]

1.) straightforwardness
2.) no drama
3.) no neediness

[beaherobeaman]

1) Must be going somewhere (or at least be trying really hard); the catch is by my definition. This is not be defined by the potential to make a lot of money, but it often helps because choosing a career/path that provides financial security seems logical to me. But the "going somewhere" is also defined by developed moral values. I could not, for example, date someone who is a speechwriter for Rick Perry or a project manager for Goldman Sachs because such positions work, in my opinion, to degrade society's, therefore my, quality of life. This is a fine line that is difficult to describe, but I think through discussion it can be evaluated on a case by case basis. I could even be persuaded to be with either of the people specifically mentioned above if their intent and reasons were in a place I can understand and morally justify.

[HIDE="image"]
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"I notice you have bought stock in McDonald's, Boeing and WalMart this year. Goodbye."[/HIDE]

2) Must be able differentiate the difference between things that occur because of "arbitrary traditional values" and things that occur because of "logical, independent thought". In short, that nothing is a given. This is often way to postmodern for most people and in many ways postmodernism annoys me, but I think it applies towards something I really can't stand in relationships. For instance, the insistence on cookie cutter relationship tracks like "dating, fucking, engagement, dog, marriage, house, kid, coffin." Another example is someone who maintains a relationship with family members that they strongly dislike just because they are "family". Also included are blind allegiance to vague American buzz words/traits like nationalism, supporting our troops, God, the rule of law, etc. Like #1, these things could be justified, but the case needs to be made.

3) Must be able to look between the lines to confirm that I am devoted/in love with them. I am an INTx. I care a lot about a lot of people (including those I have dated) but I don't waste my time showing it unless those displays can be worked into my normal schedule. For instance, I am going to cook anyway, so I make something you like for both of us. I know you are stressed out about your job, so I rub your shoulder while we debate about some social issue. Just because I am not writing you love notes sprayed with Axe and whispering sweet nothings in your ear doesn't mean I have lost interest, it just means I am in the phase where I don't feel the need to constantly hit on you. Nothing frustrates me more than one a woman NEEDS constant reassurance of that love and devotion.

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I am not going to "put a ring on it"[/HIDE]

Plus being good looking helps a lot, but as I have gotten older the parameters that indicate "good looking" have gotten wider and much more influenced by the mental side of the coin. Many of my students are absolute knockouts, but often as soon as they open their mouths they might as well look like the guy on the cover of Tales From The Crypt. Some people have beer goggles. I have "intelligent-and-witty-conversation goggles".

[HIDE="image"]
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"So I , uh, didn't do the assignment because I wasn't here when you assigned it. Does that mean I don't have to do it?"[/HIDE]

[JC22]

1. Cool
2. Nice
3. Cool

[sevans]

	Originally Posted by JC22 To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	1. Cool 2. Nice 3. Cool

Well damn, guess I'm not your type then. Lol
---
Yeah I'm completely aware of which thread this is.

[Senseofrelief]

A wife has to provide the services of a hooker, maid, and a cook.

A girl friend only has to provide to provide that of a hooker.

Since you only wanted the top three....

[Haun]

Beautiful/Sexy

Brilliant/Smart

Bossy/Sweet (Someone mature that holds there own)

[Cherryj]

1: intelligence - for an INTJ, ideas are supremely interesting and boring people absolutely cannot hold our attention for long (like, <5 seconds). We’re often perceived as having contempt for people less intelligent, or merely less intellectual than ourselves, but this isn’t actually true (at least for me); we merely don’t find people (including attractive women) interesting if they either cannot or will not talk about ideas.
2: independence - if she's not independent herself, she won't respect my need to disappear on a long walk or into a book for hours at a time.
3: self-confidence - INTJs are forever perceived as being "cold" "distant" and therefore angry at the perceiver. A self-confident woman understands I am merely objective; I am not angry at her.
4: direct-to me, there's nothing more frustrating than someone who is coy or expects me to "clue in" to her emotional needs. Like many INTJs, I am not overly empathetic, so it helps me for her to explain her feelings in a way I can understand. It's only after I understand that I can "feel."
5: considerate-like many INTJs, my love for efficiency translates into a dislike for inconsideration or unpunctuality. I consider rudeness, however unintentional, the equivalent of being mean. To me it is more important that she be considerate than “nice” because we tend to judge actions much better than emotions (i.e. intentions).
6: competence-if she’s stressed out all the time she unfortunately won’t get the empathy she needs from me, leading to arguments
It’s preferable that she be an introvert as extroverts tend to think by talking, which interrupts the INTJs own thoughts (we converse constantly with ourselves and perceive this the same way one might perceive interrupting a conversation between two people). If an extrovert, it’s essential that she be sensitive to the fact INTJs have little ability or tolerance to deal with what we consider pointless chatter or small talk. Shy extroverts are the bane of the INTJs existence.
Obviously, there has to be a mutual physical attraction as well.

[Chance]

"sorry in advance" to be such a detailed person, but I think that the question should have more specifications, since people from same personalities might look for different things during their life, meaning their maturity level

As an INTJ with already 25th... and looking for serious dates, what I look for now is women who are emotionally mature, smart, can understand me and complete me in all of the "abilities" that I lack so much as an INTJ.

If I have to say only 3... I would say:
- Independent
- Smart, no need to be a genius, but must be recognized as intelligent among others
- Beautiful, must believe that she is truly beautiful

[Uber10]

For a long time it used to be : love,respect,intellect ... whatever

now it's slim with small tits and wanting to be my hot little sex toy
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[MaybeThanh]

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. I tried to split it up into three points for you, OP.

1) Intellectual curiosity. You don't necessarily have to be a genius, but if you're interested in anything I would consider intriguing (politics, romance, philosophy, psychology, technology, the list goes on!), then that's a neon sign spelling "compatible" flaring up in your eyes. Hell, I don't even need to know much on the topic myself. If you could teach me something that sounds interesting, you'd have found yourself a devoted conversational partner.
2) I want a woman to be able to take care of herself. I don't mind having to provide support (whether it be emotionally, financially,...) at all, but if I notice I'm being relied on too much, I'll generally lose interest fairly quickly. The metaphorical crutch, one might say.
3) I want a woman who's everything I've ever felt I lacked in some degree. One with whom I could consider a relationship to be of mutual complementarity. Genuinely altruistic, emotional, generally playful and, well, just caring about others.

But most of all, I want a woman who yearns romance in the classical sense of the word, like I do. I don't want to "mess around". I'd like to have a woman I could look in the eyes, pause, and quietly and genuinely say "I love you" to.

[Polymath20]

1) Must be far creepier than the average girl
2) Must be smarter than the average
3) Must be attractive to me (according to some my standards are weird)

[Eminence Front]

1) Physically attractive to me (and I to her - I guess that's chemistry!)
2) NT Temperament
3) Willingness to share adopt and explore interests that become mutual

[Oros Ull]

1.) She has to be kind. Not super gushy or emotional or anything but a compassionate soul is a must. I’m not willing to deal with a girl who I need to fear stabbing me in the back. And being able to be affectionate would be nice. I enjoy my space and everything just as much as the next person and I’m more than happy to give her hers, but when I actually fall for someone I like to show it and I would like her to be able to show and accept it as well. I’m a bit of a romantic when it’s appropriate so I would be cool if she liked that sort of thing.

2.) She would have to be Intelligent. Again not expecting a super genius but she needs to at least be willing to grow as a person. Also some amount of spirituality or something going on. I’m hardly religious but Nihilism is a deal breaker. Philosophical and existential conversation is a personal favorite of mine, especially when it is intimate. So that is a must.

3.) I would need to be attracted to her. She doesn’t need to be a super model but I would prefer a girl who knows how to take care of herself. Although I’ll be honest I kind of prefer a girl with a little meat on her bones. Not too much, but super skinny girls make me feel like I’m going to hurt them by mistake plus I like to have something to grab onto when things heat up; although that is hardly a defining trait, just a minor preference… Also another huge bonus is nice eyes… I’m a sucker for pretty eyes.

4.) This seems worth mentioning. She can’t be too pushy when it comes to money and stuff. I’m all for a girl trying to help motivate me to do well in life, but her giving me shit because I’m not making enough for her to go out and spend a ton on crap is just unacceptable. I work hard and am plenty capable of supporting myself, but I have been both filthy rich and extremely poor and I don’t like the way people change when they have too much money, so I prefer a more Spartan life style. I have a lot of long term goals but things like wealth, power, prestige and materialistic BS like that is hardly at the top of my list of priorities. I know that that is a deal breaker for some women but I don’t care. I want a nice home and family and everything one day but if I manage to obtain those things it will be because I earned them thru hard work and skill not because I sold my soul for big bucks. So in other words, no gold diggers…

5.) And finally we need to be able to have fun and enjoy each other’s company. That’s pretty much a given in any decent relationship but I’m going to add it anyway. I like to adventure, go out, try new things ect. And if she wants to show me something new then that’s awesome too. But on the other hand spending a weekend talking, cuddling and making love by a fire is my idea of paradise. So that would be important.

[Freeburgh]

1. Quickness of mind
2. Easy on the eye
3. Healthy libido
4. Common love language
5. Desire for interdependence
6. I think Ixxx works better than Exxx, or I just haven't dated an Exxx prepared to work with my Ixxx in social situations.

[TrickyD]

Well if I have to narrow it down to only 3, then it would be;

1) Intelligence and the ability to hold an interesting stimulating discussion.
2) Someone who I can respect and admire, and vice versa. An equal.
3) If you look good, then bonus
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[slipperypole]

1) Intellectual curiosity
2) Drive/ Ambition
3) Empathy/ Kindness

[ummon]

Physical fitness, integrity, and kindness.

Intelligence is also important, as is a commitment to making the relationship work instead of bailing at the first sign of trouble.

Attractiveness beyond physical fitness is a bonus.

[Minerva]

	Originally Posted by ummon To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Physical fitness, integrity, and kindness. Intelligence is also important, but not a requirement like the above three priorities. Attractiveness beyond physical fitness is a bonus.

That is what an INTJ friend of mine once thought until he started dating this girl and liked it for a while. When he started to complain that he couldn't have good conversation with her, I knew their relationship was as good as dead.

[ummon]

	Originally Posted by Minerva To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	That is what an INTJ friend of mine once thought until he started dating this girl and liked it for a while. When he started to complain that he couldn't have good conversation with her, I knew their relationship was as good as dead.

Yeah that's why I edited my post. At least average intelligence is a necessity. I'd prefer significantly better than average intelligence, but that's not a requirement.