[Nelson]

I've recently been going over the people I know and I realised that such a huge proportion of my friends as well as women interested me have been INFP's... I'm sort of baffled because I rarely initiate anything with them... But none the less the women for example are not shy... what do INFP's like about INTJ's? Are they interested physical appearance etc?

[Feral]

My husband is an INFP.
The physical appearance helped draw him in, but it was the conversation and whatnot that kept him close enough to strike.

[AnaK]

I think it is the INTJ intensity, and intuitive intelligence. I don't imagine most INFPs will be swayed much by physical things like looks or cars. Maybe they are drawn to your decision making skills? But watch out, since they are idealists, if they start to think you may not be a good person, they'll probably turn cold.

[Nelson]

Yeah I notice a lot of INFP's like people with whom they can connect on a meaningful level and also they seem to be drawn to decisiveness.. I suppose they must be quite observant... Hmm there is an INFP that I would like to engage in better conversations with.. what would draw her out?.. Any good (not too piercing) questions I could ask?

[AnaK]

I don't know. I like to talk about politics and religion, both no-no's.
I also like to gossip. Another no-no.

But make it chat, so the pace is quicker, it's too dull when the conversation is slow, at least to me.

[Seablue]

I read
To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
, the first of Lifesight's "blog" on the forum. This part illustrates exactly what drawn why INFP best friend to me (and to many of her other friends or to her boyfriend, regardless of their types).

I never bothered to let people close to me, I just stood away and observed… and it is when I came across people in the corners. Who are the people in the corners? Outcasts, rebels, introverted … When all the class stood up, they were the ones who kept sitting, when all the class agreed with the teacher, they were the ones to disagree, and when most of the kids took all the attention and took over the school, they were the ones sitting quite unnoticed. It is funny that people didn’t see the greatness in them, when it is so obvious. They were the ones that made the bigger change in society, they were the ones celebrating individuality, and swimming against the flow, the ones who did what they thought was right, and what they have been told.

"My" INFP basically told me the exact same thing once. I don't know if they all think that of course. But I do think that "introverted people who celebrate individuality and do what they think is right", etc, are going to appeal to a lot of them.

As I said above, my friend was drawn to outcasts regardless of their types so this is not specific to the INFP-INTJ relationship. But INTJ have good chances of being outcasts (especially in their youth ?). They care more about being true to their ideas and about doing what they damn well please than about being "normal", being liked by their peers or being popular. And that might appeal to an INFP who cares more than everything about being true to one's ideals.

You mentioned they're attracted to decisiveness. That seems true in our case. My friend was drawn to me because of the self-confidence (okay, arrogance) I had that she lacked at the time. (I stress at the time, we were teenagers, now she's adult and she's not some fragile flower). She didn't care about being "popular", but she did care about people liking her, while I (with all the subtlety of a young and rebellious INTJ teenager) didn't give a damn what people thought about me, said "no" without hesitation when I didn't want to do something, etc. That's why she noticed me in the first place, she said.

[lifesight]

^yes, also INFPs tend to fight for ideals in a way (sometimes not so rational) and INTJs in other ways (sometimes not so sensitive and considerate), i find the collaboration of both together is great.
their stability and consistency (which i often lack), Their logic and thinking methods (which is often absent with me).
their ability to communicate with me on another level than just talking about our feelings.
The mixture between being harsh and being kind, and most of the times their depth.
they are often open and straightforward and honest, something i really need to be able to let people close.

[TigerArena]

	Originally Posted by Nelson To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I've recently been going over the people I know and I realised that such a huge proportion of my friends as well as women interested me have been INFP's... I'm sort of baffled because I rarely initiate anything with them... But none the less the women for example are not shy... what do INFP's like about INTJ's? Are they interested physical appearance etc?

INTJs are commited, they know their partners excellantly, INTJ personalities are quite attractive (Specially the Evil, Cold-hearted, lustful INTJS). Their mysterious, and this sparks an INFPs natural curiousity. INTJs drive INFPs crazy. INTJs are overly-intelligent masterminds making them quite impressive people you can ever talk to and when you approach them the right way, they can be quite good at giving advice and understanding with analyzing and logical thinking. They are brutually honest even with online relationships, so you know you can trust them. If your in a serious, online relationship, gaming with them can be quite amazing. XDD

[Muse]

I think we tend to represent a form of power to them that they find appealing in an SO for their personal reasons. As I look back on all the INFP girls I have been involved with (many, including Lifesight), that's a common factor; I tended to represent something they were not but wanted to be.

This aspect also ends up being a key difference however, and will likely end up being a source of relationship issues. For example, the INFPs that were attracted to my loyalty, committed attitude, willingness to solve problems in a fair/healthy way, and stability(emotional and all aspects of my life); had little in terms of these traits and were unable to pull their weight in a close relationship when the time came. I can't do it for them, so it never worked out.

Basically, if an INFP is attracted to you, it is likely because there are key differences between you and them that will end up being an issue in the short or long term.

Another INFP is practically throwing herself at me right now and really wants a close romantic relation with me. Our key differences; I am emotionally and mentally stable/healthy and she isn't. We have things in common like being intellectual and enjoying similar things, but with that difference right there, well, you can start to see the pattern.

Therril; a male INTJ friend of mine, also had the same experience for a big part of his life. He attracted many INFPs but the differences that caused the attraction also caused the relationships demise.

[Strange Moon]

My female INFP best friend of many years said she likes about me that I'm calm and balanced, honest even if the honesty is sometimes painful, that I value friendships very much and that we can have long and meaningful discussions about many subjects. She generally does not care much about physical appearences (as is proven by her choice of boyfriends ;-).

[otiliaion]

What do INFP's like about INTJ's you ask..

From my personal experience + what I've read on the subject:

INFP are attracted by the spirit of meditation and self-confidence of the INTJ
INFP likes that with a INTJ it can discuss profound things even if it's just a book review or film
INFP are fascinated by the interesting points of views INTJ draws with logic and brings into discussion
We like the fact that INTJ are great in helping INFP analyze situations and make logical decisions
The fact that we share a common sense of humor and have a great time together
That we can share long comforting periods of silence with a INTJ without feeling the need to speak to fill any void
INFP has much love to give and INTJ is able to accept it
INTJ seems to sense when a INFP is upset and gives the needed emotional support
If the INTJ is devoted and requires fidelity, INFP feels safe in the relationship

Now, what INFP's don't like about INTJ's:

- INTJ likes to provoke discussions while INFP prefer not to judge things and keep their options open
- INTJ also prefer competition while INFP wants to avoid tensions
- Both are introverts can get to spend very much time together in solitude, preferring the comfort of home and closing the front of the world
- An INTJ likes to schedule things while INFP wants to do what he feels at the moment
- An INTJ can throw harsh words that badly affects an INFP
- INTJ is not good at giving compliments - doesn't do it as often enough as an INFP would like to hear them

But problems are always solvable if the INTJ is willing to take action to resolve them or accept the win-win option to settle it INFP usually brings into discussion.

[ManWithNoName]

	Originally Posted by Seablue To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	"My" INFP basically told me the exact same thing once. I don't know if they all think that of course. But I do think that "introverted people who celebrate individuality and do what they think is right", etc, are going to appeal to a lot of them.

I think basically this. The only thing I would add in summary is:

Authenticity.

INFPs are drawn to it. Be proud and comfortable with who you are, your moral belief system (which they tend to equate to who you are) and they will be drawn to this.

[Nightmare]

You're sexy.

[hi5yourface]

	Originally Posted by Nelson To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Yeah I notice a lot of INFP's like people with whom they can connect on a meaningful level and also they seem to be drawn to decisiveness.. I suppose they must be quite observant... Hmm there is an INFP that I would like to engage in better conversations with.. what would draw her out?.. Any good (not too piercing) questions I could ask?

Observe behavior and take notice of her likes and approach her using these as a starting point.
Ex. If she loves to read, ask her what she's reading but don't stop there ask her what she likes about the story? The characters, the plot, do you love this author, etc.....springboard.

[iaminfp2012]

	Originally Posted by ManWithNoName To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I think basically this. The only thing I would add in summary is: Authenticity. INFPs are drawn to it. Be proud and comfortable with who you are, your moral belief system (which they tend to equate to who you are) and they will be drawn to this.

That's it!

[Beesnthebreeze]

My best infp friend live talking ideas, and she is so bent on honesty. It's the most important thing to her.

I think it has to do with their heightened sensitivity passionately doing what is right and 1. Lying is wrong 2. They take in née information and hold it up to their belief system and if it checks out, it's their belief. I'd they're lied to, that really shakes it up.

She also usually makes the first move- but she picks not so good men, although she is learning how to weed them out..!