A result freak

**Fryman58** · 05-26-2011, 06:31 PM

Towards the end of my last semester one of my professors called me a control freak, which I took offense to. In one brilliant move I told him, "You are wrong. I am not a control freak. I am a result freak."

After that comment, he looked at me awkwardly before I said, "I do not look at people as data points to be controlled." He mention that my teammates said I was too focus on accomplishing the mission and viewed them as data points. "I view people as variables that produce data point." Did not really help me...

Since this was a business class he did not understand my science terminology and change the subject to something else. I think he asked about how I view high school. He then challenge my views, I refuted his challenge with facts and observations, and he claim I did not listen to him. Of course, I repeated his arguments and feelings to prove that I did listen. He then said this is the issue people have with me and said I did not listen.

I ended the fun conversation with "I do not care what people do or feel. I only want to be right. That is all I care about."

(yes I am paraphrasing)

To me a control freak is someone who obsess over how to reach a destination. I do not do that. I care about reach the destination/outcome. I am content to let things work themselves out as long as I get result. Do people understand what I am trying to say?

Background fact: We went on a team building hike the previous week. My teammates did not listen to any of my rational arguments on getting to the next check point. For ignoring me, we got lost in the woods and walked up a mountain in PA. Apparently, I am the only one that could read a Topographical map correctly despite the fact that I am not outdoorsy like my teammates. So I ditch my teammates the first chance I got and went home, which is frowned upon for some reason. The chance to leave came in the form of two random locals in a secluded part of the woods.

**Merak** · 05-26-2011, 06:41 PM

I'm not sure what you are trying to gain from this post.

**Fryman58** · 05-26-2011, 06:44 PM

just venting and seeking some validation for how I think

**Warrior** · 05-26-2011, 06:45 PM

	Originally Posted by Fryman58 To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Did not really help me...

I'm shocked.


	He then said this is the issue people have with me and said I did not listen.


	I ended the fun conversation with "I do not care what people do or feel. I only want to be right. That is all I care about."

Sounds like he was right after all.

To me a control freak is someone who obsess over how to reach a destination. I do not do that. I care about reach the destination. I am content to let things work themselves out as long as I get the desire result, or any result. Do people understand what I am trying to say?

Background fact: We went on a team building hike the previous week. My teammates did not listen to any of my rational arguments on getting to the next check point. For ignoring me, we got lost in the woods and walked up a mountain in PA. Apparently, I am the only one that could read a Topographical map correctly despite the fact that I am not outdoorsy like my teammates. So I ditch my teammates the first chance I got and went home, which is frowned upon for some reason. The chance to leave came in the form of two random locals in a secluded part of the woods.

I thought you didn't obsess over how to reach a destination. Why do you care if you walked up a mountain? You didn't seem too content to let things work themselves out in this situation.

**Fryman58** · 05-26-2011, 06:49 PM

I took offense to him saying I wanted to control everything. Everything else he said seem valid. I have horrible people skill, (I viewed) my teammates are morons, and I did not care about them. If I was a control freak I would have been more demanding and force people to go my route (which were easier and correct).

My destination was not over the mountain to the check point. My destination was home so I could write a paper. Being with my team did not seem beneficial and I did not want to control them. They rejected my ideas so I rejected them.

I wanted my result the easiest way. If it was not with my teammates then I was content with leaving.

**rbc** · 05-26-2011, 07:00 PM

	Originally Posted by Fryman58 To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	"I do not care what people do or feel. I only want to be right. That is all I care about."

Good for you! Here's some validation.
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**Pika** · 05-26-2011, 07:01 PM

Not too many people get in trouble by keeping their mouths shut. Perhaps you should try it.

**Fryman58** · 05-26-2011, 07:05 PM

RBC
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for validating me

Pika
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I don't understand your post. If I avoid trouble, how am I suppose to test and gather data? I think this thread is about how I do not want to control things. I want to see the outcomes.

Yes my OP is a mess... and confusing... and not completely together...

**Merak** · 05-26-2011, 07:15 PM

You are missing the point your teacher was (likely) getting at. Regardless of whether you define yourself as a control freak or results freak, there is more to a team than being right. Generally, it is better to build bridges than to burn bridges.

You are awesome and smart and stuff. Cool. Now work on treating team members like humans and tactfully getting them to do what needs to be done.

Protip: Ranting about your skills and storming off is not a good tactic to advance one's career.

**killyridols** · 05-26-2011, 07:16 PM

Why do you need other people to validate you? If you care about being right, the one thing you should be able to control is whether or not you are valid.

**MyotisLucifugus** · 05-26-2011, 07:26 PM

Originally Posted by Fryman58
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Since this was a business class he did not understand my science terminology and change the subject to something else. I think he asked about how I view high school. He then challenge my views, I refuted his challenge with facts and observations, and he claim I did not listen to him. Of course, I repeated his arguments and feelings to prove that I did listen. He then said this is the issue people have with me and said I did not listen.

Reading some of these threads is like cracking open an epically cringe-worthy time capsule for me.

**DeaconSyre** · 05-26-2011, 07:28 PM

	Originally Posted by MyotisLucifugus To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Reading some of these threads is like cracking open an epically cringe-worthy time capsule for me.

I try to avoid them unless I'm feeling either self-loathing or altruistic.

**Fryman58** · 05-26-2011, 07:32 PM

Merak: that is true. I did try to build a bridge, but after a while I gave up. I said to hell with the bridge and burn the mother.... down... Ranting and storming off is indeed not a good tactic. That experience taught me a valuable lesson. Since I learn a valuable lesson it was a good outcome.

My team was stuck on that mountain for an additional 5 hours. It was snowing/raining too... Sometimes I need to know when to cut my losses before I reach my breaking point...

Killyridols: I am not great and controlling so I cannot control whether I am right or not. I get a result, report it, and see what other people think. If others do not validate my views then that means I am wrong in some way. During that experience, I was wrong in how I built my bridge and it produce that outcome.

This is how I think about stuff. I want to see the result and then determine how it occur. A control freak would control the process to get a specific result.

---------- Post added 05-26-2011 at 10:34 PM ----------

MyotisLucifugus and DeaconSyre, you know you do not have to post or read these threads...

No one is forcing you to read/reply to these incoherent vents...

**DeaconSyre** · 05-26-2011, 07:37 PM

	Originally Posted by Fryman58 To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	MyotisLucifugus and DeaconSyre, you know you do not have to post or read these threads... No one is forcing you to read/reply to these incoherent vents...

I was feeling altruistic (somewhat).

**Fryman58** · 05-26-2011, 07:40 PM

	Originally Posted by DeaconSyre To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I was feeling altruistic (somewhat).

well I made this thread out of self-loathing. So thanks for being altruistic (somewhat)
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**Senseofrelief** · 05-26-2011, 07:41 PM

So your arguing 'results' with someone that chose to live in academia, where results, reality, getting it done, etc, have all been thrown out the door?

In the real world, Darwinian reality, you either date the girl, or go home and beat off...your either a participant in life, throwing touchdowns, or a spectator, or worse, zoned out not even in the game.

Simply put, in a team..members are either 100% working, producing, solving, and endeavoring to reach the goal, in the quickest, most efficient manner...everything else is bullshit.

**MyotisLucifugus** · 05-26-2011, 07:44 PM

	Originally Posted by DeaconSyre To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I was feeling altruistic (somewhat).

Same here. It's actually kind of endearing in a birds-of-a-feather sort of way.

**Fryman58** · 05-26-2011, 07:53 PM

Originally Posted by Senseofrelief
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So your arguing 'results' with someone that chose to live in academia, where results, reality, getting it done, etc, have all been thrown out the door?

In the real world, Darwinian reality, you either date the girl, or go home and beat off...your either a participant in life, throwing touchdowns, or a spectator, or worse, zoned out not even in the game.

Simply put, in a team..members are either 100% working, producing, solving, and endeavoring to reach the goal, in the quickest, most efficient manner...everything else is bullshit.

Yes! I feel like GlaDOS responding to Cave Johnson when he talked about lemons in portal 2.

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**DeaconSyre** · 05-26-2011, 08:03 PM

	Originally Posted by Fryman58 To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Yes! I feel like GlaDOS responding to Cave Johnson when he talked about lemons in portal 2. To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Cathartic releases of emotion are an important part of self-discovery and improvement.

**Jalex** · 05-26-2011, 08:09 PM

Yes, you are a control.freak... being right is being in control... when you are wrong you lose control...you don't want to be wrong so you don't lose control, this is how the self defense mechanism works....

**Fryman58** · 05-26-2011, 08:22 PM

	Originally Posted by Jalex To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Yes, you are a control.freak... being right is being in control... when you are wrong you lose control...you don't want to be wrong so you don't lose control, this is how the self defense mechanism works....

no one wants to be wrong, so does that make everyone a control freak? I thought a control freak is a person who is obsess with doing this a certain way, and attempts to dictate how everything is done around them? In another words a control freak tries to be a perfectionist in everything.

If you read my op, you know I am not even trying to be perfect. In the group I was in, I tried to contribute and choose the most efficient path to finish the hike with my group. They did not want to listen to my suggestions so I went with their decision until I had enough and left. Hardly the perfect outcome...

My point is, a control freak does easily not give up control and obsess over how things are done. I tried to do things right, it failed, I moved on. Of course I review my result and try to figure out what happen. Hopefully, I learn my lesson and make new mistakes... I like making mistakes, which is something a control freak does not like.

Of course, the mistakes I make are in the plan so I know how to deal with them. That is planning and obsessing over the result.

**rbc** · 05-26-2011, 08:30 PM

	Originally Posted by Merak To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Generally, it is better to build bridges than to burn bridges.

That depends entirely on where the bridges go.


	Now work on treating team members like humans and tactfully getting them to do what needs to be done.

That depends on whether you actually expect to ever work with them again. If not, ignoring their feelings is marvelously liberating, and intentionally manipulating their feelings can be fun. However, there is good advice here -- even if you don't care what other people feel, they care what they feel. Therefore, if you want to manipulate them with maximal efficiency, you have to take their feelings into account. If merely being right will do, then their feelings are indeed irrelevant, but getting results means taking their feelings into account when planning.

	Originally Posted by MyotisLucifugus To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Reading some of these threads is like cracking open an epically cringe-worthy time capsule for me.

Sometimes, but they also sometimes make me smile. Like this one, so far.

	Originally Posted by DeaconSyre To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I try to avoid them unless I'm feeling either self-loathing or altruistic.

Every time you guys say "altruistic", I keep seeing "autistic".
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**Merak** · 05-26-2011, 08:40 PM

	Originally Posted by rbc To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	That depends entirely on where the bridges go.

Certainly. But considering the average person lives in a consistent, mundane cycle (Read: dead end job), those bridges are likely paying your bills.

That depends on whether you actually expect to ever work with them again. If not, ignoring their feelings is marvelously liberating, and intentionally manipulating their feelings can be fun. However, there is good advice here -- even if you don't care what other people feel, they care what they feel. Therefore, if you want to manipulate them with maximal efficiency, you have to take their feelings into account. If merely being right will do, then their feelings are indeed irrelevant, but getting results means taking their feelings into account when planning.

That is what I meant by tactfully. Of course I don't give a damn about other's feelings, but if manipulation is your goal, you would do well to learn how to effectively deal with others.

i.e., even if they are pawns on your chessboard, do them a favor and call them people, mmkay?

**MusicalINTJ** · 05-26-2011, 08:50 PM

cooking up the most marketable product is the way to go for the INTJ

hide away in a basement. work at a gas station.

And just bust out the best song, book, whatever. Put it on the web.

Use your intuition to determine what is marketable. You will make the dough.

Wala. No people to deal with.

**Fryman58** · 05-26-2011, 08:52 PM

what about the Bridge to Nowhere? People seemed happy to burn that idea...

I did not really have to deal with my group anymore. The entire semester we had group activities that should build group bonds for this hike. Obviously, we did not have a good group dynamic....

Can I call my pawns minions? My group members were not my minions. They were a pain in the a... i mean morons. YES, my people skills suck, but my teammates did not matter. Their bright ideas got us lost! All I needed to do was interact with them to write a reflection paper.

I wrote about group dissolution and conflict. Best part is that, I end the paper calling my group member pieces of scum on the bottom of my boots. I think that proved my worth.

MusicalINTJ: I don't like to eat dough, and I never cooked with it before. So I can't make it now. However, I can learn how to make dough... Not now. It is midnight. Later.. much later I will try.

edit: I am aware of how ridiculous this thread is, and I am ok with it.

HOW CAN I BE A CONTROL FREAK WHEN I MESSED UP SO BAD AND FELT NOTHING?

05-26-2011, 06:31 PM	#1
Fryman58 Member [10%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 404	Towards the end of my last semester one of my professors called me a control freak, which I took offense to. In one brilliant move I told him, "You are wrong. I am not a control freak. I am a result freak." After that comment, he looked at me awkwardly before I said, "I do not look at people as data points to be controlled." He mention that my teammates said I was too focus on accomplishing the mission and viewed them as data points. "I view people as variables that produce data point." Did not really help me... Since this was a business class he did not understand my science terminology and change the subject to something else. I think he asked about how I view high school. He then challenge my views, I refuted his challenge with facts and observations, and he claim I did not listen to him. Of course, I repeated his arguments and feelings to prove that I did listen. He then said this is the issue people have with me and said I did not listen. I ended the fun conversation with "I do not care what people do or feel. I only want to be right. That is all I care about." (yes I am paraphrasing) To me a control freak is someone who obsess over how to reach a destination. I do not do that. I care about reach the destination/outcome. I am content to let things work themselves out as long as I get result. Do people understand what I am trying to say? Background fact: We went on a team building hike the previous week. My teammates did not listen to any of my rational arguments on getting to the next check point. For ignoring me, we got lost in the woods and walked up a mountain in PA. Apparently, I am the only one that could read a Topographical map correctly despite the fact that I am not outdoorsy like my teammates. So I ditch my teammates the first chance I got and went home, which is frowned upon for some reason. The chance to leave came in the form of two random locals in a secluded part of the woods. Last edited by Fryman58; 05-26-2011 at 07:07 PM.
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05-26-2011, 06:41 PM	#2
Merak Member [20%] MBTI: INTP Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 815	I'm not sure what you are trying to gain from this post.
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05-26-2011, 06:44 PM	#3
Fryman58 Member [10%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 404	just venting and seeking some validation for how I think
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05-26-2011, 06:49 PM	#5
Fryman58 Member [10%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 404	I took offense to him saying I wanted to control everything. Everything else he said seem valid. I have horrible people skill, (I viewed) my teammates are morons, and I did not care about them. If I was a control freak I would have been more demanding and force people to go my route (which were easier and correct). My destination was not over the mountain to the check point. My destination was home so I could write a paper. Being with my team did not seem beneficial and I did not want to control them. They rejected my ideas so I rejected them. I wanted my result the easiest way. If it was not with my teammates then I was content with leaving.
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05-26-2011, 07:01 PM	#7
Pika Member [08%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 339	Not too many people get in trouble by keeping their mouths shut. Perhaps you should try it.
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05-26-2011, 07:05 PM	#8
Fryman58 Member [10%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 404	RBC To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. for validating me Pika To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. I don't understand your post. If I avoid trouble, how am I suppose to test and gather data? I think this thread is about how I do not want to control things. I want to see the outcomes. Yes my OP is a mess... and confusing... and not completely together...
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05-26-2011, 07:15 PM	#9
Merak Member [20%] MBTI: INTP Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 815	You are missing the point your teacher was (likely) getting at. Regardless of whether you define yourself as a control freak or results freak, there is more to a team than being right. Generally, it is better to build bridges than to burn bridges. You are awesome and smart and stuff. Cool. Now work on treating team members like humans and tactfully getting them to do what needs to be done. Protip: Ranting about your skills and storming off is not a good tactic to advance one's career.
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05-26-2011, 07:16 PM	#10
killyridols Banned MBTI: INFP Join Date: May 2011 Posts: 503	Why do you need other people to validate you? If you care about being right, the one thing you should be able to control is whether or not you are valid.
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05-26-2011, 07:32 PM	#13
Fryman58 Member [10%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 404	Merak: that is true. I did try to build a bridge, but after a while I gave up. I said to hell with the bridge and burn the mother.... down... Ranting and storming off is indeed not a good tactic. That experience taught me a valuable lesson. Since I learn a valuable lesson it was a good outcome. My team was stuck on that mountain for an additional 5 hours. It was snowing/raining too... Sometimes I need to know when to cut my losses before I reach my breaking point... Killyridols: I am not great and controlling so I cannot control whether I am right or not. I get a result, report it, and see what other people think. If others do not validate my views then that means I am wrong in some way. During that experience, I was wrong in how I built my bridge and it produce that outcome. This is how I think about stuff. I want to see the result and then determine how it occur. A control freak would control the process to get a specific result. ---------- Post added 05-26-2011 at 10:34 PM ---------- MyotisLucifugus and DeaconSyre, you know you do not have to post or read these threads... No one is forcing you to read/reply to these incoherent vents...
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05-26-2011, 07:41 PM	#16
Senseofrelief Banned MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Apr 2011 Posts: 885	So your arguing 'results' with someone that chose to live in academia, where results, reality, getting it done, etc, have all been thrown out the door? In the real world, Darwinian reality, you either date the girl, or go home and beat off...your either a participant in life, throwing touchdowns, or a spectator, or worse, zoned out not even in the game. Simply put, in a team..members are either 100% working, producing, solving, and endeavoring to reach the goal, in the quickest, most efficient manner...everything else is bullshit.
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05-26-2011, 08:09 PM	#20
Jalex Member [23%] MBTI: InTJ Join Date: Apr 2011 Posts: 945	Yes, you are a control.freak... being right is being in control... when you are wrong you lose control...you don't want to be wrong so you don't lose control, this is how the self defense mechanism works....
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05-26-2011, 08:50 PM	#24
MusicalINTJ Member [16%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Apr 2011 Posts: 673	cooking up the most marketable product is the way to go for the INTJ hide away in a basement. work at a gas station. And just bust out the best song, book, whatever. Put it on the web. Use your intuition to determine what is marketable. You will make the dough. Wala. No people to deal with.
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05-26-2011, 08:52 PM	#25
Fryman58 Member [10%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 404	what about the Bridge to Nowhere? People seemed happy to burn that idea... I did not really have to deal with my group anymore. The entire semester we had group activities that should build group bonds for this hike. Obviously, we did not have a good group dynamic.... Can I call my pawns minions? My group members were not my minions. They were a pain in the a... i mean morons. YES, my people skills suck, but my teammates did not matter. Their bright ideas got us lost! All I needed to do was interact with them to write a reflection paper. I wrote about group dissolution and conflict. Best part is that, I end the paper calling my group member pieces of scum on the bottom of my boots. I think that proved my worth. MusicalINTJ: I don't like to eat dough, and I never cooked with it before. So I can't make it now. However, I can learn how to make dough... Not now. It is midnight. Later.. much later I will try. edit: I am aware of how ridiculous this thread is, and I am ok with it. HOW CAN I BE A CONTROL FREAK WHEN I MESSED UP SO BAD AND FELT NOTHING?
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