Am I the only one?

**bricklayer** · 06-10-2008, 12:33 PM

Am I the only one here who really doesn't care or have a desire to date?

**emanon** · 06-10-2008, 12:36 PM

I go through phases when I'm like that, but it's never permanent. I eventually swing back into a phase where I just wish I were like normal people and dating came more naturally.

**Henry** · 06-10-2008, 02:03 PM

	Originally Posted by bricklayer To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Am I the only one here who really doesn't care or have a desire to date?

I never had a real desire to "date". I always had a strong desire to fornicate.

**Max** · 06-10-2008, 02:10 PM

I have absolutely no desire to date anyone. Ever.

**Motor Jax** · 06-10-2008, 02:15 PM

oh, i don't date

its either all or nothing

as in the case with g/f, except she made me happy from day one and i've never had any complaints

well, that pretty much ended it for me

but i was a one night person... now, if they stuck around for 2 days then yea, i would probably start getting attached

**Lupin** · 06-10-2008, 02:31 PM

Get attached too easily to be in the serial dating game, besides, the effort is far too much and I get tired meeting new people all the time in the true dating sense of the word. Serial monogamy works best thus far but having had a couple of major upsets, I couldn't contemplate being worn out emotionally another time. Keeping on track with career, being with people I like and respect and staying open to possibilities but never, ever going back 'there' again. Life is long and we never know when we might me our soul mate......whether I'm younger or older, it no longer matters to me if or when someone pitches up as long as I'm straight in the head, healthy and financially secure.

**curiousjane** · 06-10-2008, 02:40 PM

I've said it before, I'll say it again. I don't like dating. I'd rather just sort of melt into monogamy and marriage and get it all over with. I'm pretty good at being loyal and devoted, provided I feel loved.

But it sounds like perhaps you just don't want to be in a relationship at all. So perhaps you are unique. Most people I know would admit that, deep down, they want companionship with a significant other.

**Lupin** · 06-10-2008, 03:53 PM

Hi CJ. Completely agree with you that being in the long-term, loyal company of a life partner is the ultimate happy state. Very, very much with you on that.

However, I just stay realistic and continue along my pathway as I cannot spend time daydreaming in the hope that my soul mate will show. Learnt that by carrying on with some passion for my career/social life/hobbies etc I find myself to be in a mentally and physically better state, for me, and therefore far more likely to appeal to someone. But spontaneity continues to be an issue so I remain relatively fluid in my activities.

My 'readiness for change' is omnipresent and I've really worked on this area. I'm hoping that I will find it less of a strain when someone does arrive and, then, recognising that the healthy approach will be to discuss and find compromise between us at that point, there should be less stress all round. I will just move my activities to wherever we set up but if it doesn't happen then I have lost nothing! Being happy as I am is the main driver for me so that I can be good company for someone else.

I have traditional values but an unconvential life. Any hints and tips from the F P perspective would be welcome CJ.

**Beery Swine** · 06-10-2008, 03:55 PM

Dating is for schlubs. That's all I really have to say.

**Lupin** · 06-10-2008, 03:57 PM

Forgive me, what's a schlub? Always willing to learn.....

**bricklayer** · 06-10-2008, 04:09 PM

Schlub- Someone crude and/or stupid; a blockhead

bricklayer added to this post, 2 minutes and 29 seconds later...

Originally Posted by curiousjane
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I've said it before, I'll say it again. I don't like dating. I'd rather just sort of melt into monogamy and marriage and get it all over with. I'm pretty good at being loyal and devoted, provided I feel loved.

But it sounds like perhaps you just don't want to be in a relationship at all. So perhaps you are unique. Most people I know would admit that, deep down, they want companionship with a significant other.

Well, it really bewilders me. I really like the idea of children but loath the thought of a wife. Ha ha. It's so unnatural and crazy but I mean come on - where's the freedom in being married?

**TheLastMohican** · 06-10-2008, 04:18 PM

	Originally Posted by bricklayer To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Am I the only one here who really doesn't care or have a desire to date?

No; I also apparently lack such a desire. So far I haven't even had any crushes.

Maybe I will someday. That remains to be seen. But currently I am not interested in dating, and that does not bother me. I dislike the idea of that kind of a time commitment, especially since it is usually for naught.

**sriv** · 06-10-2008, 05:23 PM

	Originally Posted by bricklayer To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Am I the only one here who really doesn't care or have a desire to date?

Wow, is this a rhetorical question? Keep in mind this is a board full of NT rationals most specifically INTJs.

Never.

**onlyparallel** · 06-10-2008, 05:33 PM

I don't have much of a desire to date. No one understand why I don't. Silly EXFX people. What's even worse is when I tell other females that I don't want children either. Some have freaked out on me, one girl practically ripped my head off calling me selfish. I don't understand how its selfish, I just know I wouldn't be a good mother. Thinking about it I'm really saving a kid; no one wants a mother who doesn't particularily like kids.

**aude** · 06-10-2008, 06:10 PM

I hate dating. I have been on maybe 1 date and it was just bleh. It wasn't special or anything exciting. I never understood why i would need such a thing. Just get laid, quicker and much more fun
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**bricklayer** · 06-10-2008, 06:10 PM

	Originally Posted by sriv To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Wow, is this a rhetorical question? Keep in mind this is a board full of NT rationals most specifically INTJs. Never.

No. Seriously, until the discovery of this forum I thought I was the only freak in the world.
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**aude** · 06-10-2008, 06:14 PM

	Originally Posted by bricklayer To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	No. Seriously, until the discovery of this forum I thought I was the only freak in the world. To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Welcome to the dark side of the morbid moon :-p

**Anon722** · 06-10-2008, 06:23 PM

Originally Posted by onlyparallel
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I don't have much of a desire to date. No one understand why I don't. Silly EXFX people. What's even worse is when I tell other females that I don't want children either. Some have freaked out on me, one girl practically ripped my head off calling me selfish. I don't understand how its selfish, I just know I wouldn't be a good mother. Thinking about it I'm really saving a kid; no one wants a mother who doesn't particularily like kids.

May I tell you what I trully think. ( I'll give you no option about it ). I think this girl doesn't really like having kids but she may, given social pressures. So, she is envious that you have the gut she doesn't, to stand your ground and speak out.

Me. I'm proud of you.

Cheers!

**Tenacious B** · 06-11-2008, 12:56 PM

	Originally Posted by Anon722 To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	May I tell you what I trully think. ( I'll give you no option about it ). I think this girl doesn't really like having kids but she may, given social pressures. So, she is envious that you have the gut she doesn't, to stand your ground and speak out. Me. I'm proud of you. Cheers!

That's probably right, people just hate to see others do what they are afraid to do themselves.

I hate dating and have mentioned in other threads why the dating system and I are not compatible. That being said, if I could wake up the next morning married to the right person I would do it in a heartbeat. I like the idea of marriage, but the process of getting there is just horrendous.

**curiousjane** · 06-11-2008, 01:00 PM

	Originally Posted by Tenacious B To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I hate dating and have mentioned in other threads why the dating system and I are not compatible. That being said, if I could wake up the next morning married to the right person I would do it in a heartbeat. I like the idea of marriage, but the process of getting there is just horrendous.

Whoa. Get out of my head. That is EXACTLY my sentiments. I mean, I've said that exact same thing about waking up married for about the past 6 years.

Creepy.

But I'm glad I'm not alone!

**Monte314** · 06-11-2008, 07:49 PM

At 16, I had no desire to go on a date either... until I went on one. Then that all changed.

**TheLastMohican** · 06-11-2008, 07:54 PM

	Originally Posted by Monte314 To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	At 16, I had no desire to go on a date either... until I went on one. Then that all changed.

...uh oh.

Malotis · 06-13-2008, 03:25 PM

	Originally Posted by bricklayer To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Am I the only one here who really doesn't care or have a desire to date?

Never cared much for dating, though I do care about getting laid. I've dated only because I see it as a prerequisite to increase my chances of getting laid. In previous relationships, it was always difficult to bluntly propose for her to come to my house to watch a movie (I say movie but I mean intercourse). I'm assuming that if I put forth such a proposal one time too many she would start to feel used that I only was around her/ wanted to be with her because of the sex. Once that happens my chances of getting laid drastically decrease. Therefore, I found suggesting to go out everynow and then ends up paying for itself.

**Erika Redmark** · 06-14-2008, 08:59 PM

I like dating a specific person. I don't think I would like entering the "dating scene"–hanging around bars and whatnot waiting to find attractive and interesting people, ZOMGwhat's your phone number, will he call me, okay now I'm going on my fiftieth first date (heh), blah blah blah…

I don't know what it will be like when I grow up–the trouble with workplace romances and all–but so far I've found plenty of guys to be romantically interested in (and unattainable ones I just obsessed over from a distance) while going through life normally and not going out of my way to find potential dates (like if that were your only reason for doing certain things). Now it's also true that in the eight years between the onset of puberty and the present day, exactly one of them has returned my feelings (so maybe I'm not really one to talk about this! XD). But I think that's a good thing too, that having fewer relationships would make them more meaningful.

**ssrprotege** · 06-14-2008, 09:01 PM

I have never thought of such thing as dating...I think it will be quite awkward, as my brain/myself becomes active whenever theoretical (ie math, physics, chemistry, psychology, philosophy) or music-related topics pop up....Not necessarily down-to-earth ones, which can be more useful when dating.

06-10-2008, 12:33 PM	#1
bricklayer Member [10%] MBTI: Xxxx Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 438	Am I the only one here who really doesn't care or have a desire to date?
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06-10-2008, 12:36 PM	#2
emanon Member [07%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 301	I go through phases when I'm like that, but it's never permanent. I eventually swing back into a phase where I just wish I were like normal people and dating came more naturally.
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06-10-2008, 02:10 PM	#4
Max Member [05%] MBTI: INTx Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 204	I have absolutely no desire to date anyone. Ever.
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06-10-2008, 02:15 PM	#5
Motor Jax Veteran Member [52%] MBTI: INFJ Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 2,105	oh, i don't date its either all or nothing as in the case with g/f, except she made me happy from day one and i've never had any complaints well, that pretty much ended it for me but i was a one night person... now, if they stuck around for 2 days then yea, i would probably start getting attached
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06-10-2008, 02:31 PM	#6
Lupin Member [15%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 601	Get attached too easily to be in the serial dating game, besides, the effort is far too much and I get tired meeting new people all the time in the true dating sense of the word. Serial monogamy works best thus far but having had a couple of major upsets, I couldn't contemplate being worn out emotionally another time. Keeping on track with career, being with people I like and respect and staying open to possibilities but never, ever going back 'there' again. Life is long and we never know when we might me our soul mate......whether I'm younger or older, it no longer matters to me if or when someone pitches up as long as I'm straight in the head, healthy and financially secure.
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06-10-2008, 02:40 PM	#7
curiousjane Veteran Member [60%] MBTI: INFP Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 2,406	I've said it before, I'll say it again. I don't like dating. I'd rather just sort of melt into monogamy and marriage and get it all over with. I'm pretty good at being loyal and devoted, provided I feel loved. But it sounds like perhaps you just don't want to be in a relationship at all. So perhaps you are unique. Most people I know would admit that, deep down, they want companionship with a significant other.
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06-10-2008, 03:53 PM	#8
Lupin Member [15%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 601	Hi CJ. Completely agree with you that being in the long-term, loyal company of a life partner is the ultimate happy state. Very, very much with you on that. However, I just stay realistic and continue along my pathway as I cannot spend time daydreaming in the hope that my soul mate will show. Learnt that by carrying on with some passion for my career/social life/hobbies etc I find myself to be in a mentally and physically better state, for me, and therefore far more likely to appeal to someone. But spontaneity continues to be an issue so I remain relatively fluid in my activities. My 'readiness for change' is omnipresent and I've really worked on this area. I'm hoping that I will find it less of a strain when someone does arrive and, then, recognising that the healthy approach will be to discuss and find compromise between us at that point, there should be less stress all round. I will just move my activities to wherever we set up but if it doesn't happen then I have lost nothing! Being happy as I am is the main driver for me so that I can be good company for someone else. I have traditional values but an unconvential life. Any hints and tips from the F P perspective would be welcome CJ.
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06-10-2008, 03:55 PM	#9
Beery Swine Member [20%] MBTI: INTX Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 822	Dating is for schlubs. That's all I really have to say.
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06-10-2008, 03:57 PM	#10
Lupin Member [15%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 601	Forgive me, what's a schlub? Always willing to learn.....
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06-10-2008, 05:33 PM	#14
onlyparallel Member [04%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 190	I don't have much of a desire to date. No one understand why I don't. Silly EXFX people. What's even worse is when I tell other females that I don't want children either. Some have freaked out on me, one girl practically ripped my head off calling me selfish. I don't understand how its selfish, I just know I wouldn't be a good mother. Thinking about it I'm really saving a kid; no one wants a mother who doesn't particularily like kids.
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06-10-2008, 06:10 PM	#15
aude Member [03%] MBTI: intj Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 146	I hate dating. I have been on maybe 1 date and it was just bleh. It wasn't special or anything exciting. I never understood why i would need such a thing. Just get laid, quicker and much more fun To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
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06-11-2008, 07:49 PM	#21
Monte314 Core Member [406%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 16,260	At 16, I had no desire to go on a date either... until I went on one. Then that all changed.
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06-14-2008, 08:59 PM	#24
Erika Redmark Member [15%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 611	I like dating a specific person. I don't think I would like entering the "dating scene"–hanging around bars and whatnot waiting to find attractive and interesting people, ZOMGwhat's your phone number, will he call me, okay now I'm going on my fiftieth first date (heh), blah blah blah… I don't know what it will be like when I grow up–the trouble with workplace romances and all–but so far I've found plenty of guys to be romantically interested in (and unattainable ones I just obsessed over from a distance) while going through life normally and not going out of my way to find potential dates (like if that were your only reason for doing certain things). Now it's also true that in the eight years between the onset of puberty and the present day, exactly one of them has returned my feelings (so maybe I'm not really one to talk about this! XD). But I think that's a good thing too, that having fewer relationships would make them more meaningful.
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06-14-2008, 09:01 PM	#25
ssrprotege Core Member [113%] MBTI: xxxx Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 4,541	I have never thought of such thing as dating...I think it will be quite awkward, as my brain/myself becomes active whenever theoretical (ie math, physics, chemistry, psychology, philosophy) or music-related topics pop up....Not necessarily down-to-earth ones, which can be more useful when dating.
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