[happy]

After a covert hypnosis session, I realized that I have dormant traits of BPD, which are roughly:

1) fear of being abandoned
2) suicidal thoughts and depression
3) love-hate relationship towards other people

These are still dormant because I do not feel them so strongly. They do not make me unable to live my daily life and be successful in my career. However, i tend to isolate myself socially and be a jealous/obsessive partner. some people close to me told me that i also have wandering eyes: i've realized that unconsciously i am sending signals to other attractive males just in case my partner abandons me
To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
i befriend people very easily and when i see something i dislike strongly in them, i abandon them very quickly.

my questions for you are :-):
1) how can i cope with this? should i accept it as my personality as i am not considering therapy. i don't really want to be an avoidant person nor a bad partner. i am a loyal person and i want to emotionally commit 100% to my husband.
2) do you think these dormant BDP might become a psychosis in the near future?
3) do you think hypnosis could make dormant characteristics more visible like that? (after the session, i started to feel suicidal for one week. i've never had such strong depressive/suicidal feelings before. i even thought about the way i would commit suicide and the note. after my partner told me that this might be the result of covert hypnosis, those suicidal thoughts/feelings disappeared suddenly.)

[Vagrant]

While I'm not sure how to directly address all of your questions, I will point this out -- negative traits you have now may become exaggerated when you get older. If you can work against them now, it's in your best interest.

[happy]

	Originally Posted by Vagrant To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	While I'm not sure how to directly address all of your questions, I will point this out -- negative traits you have now may become exaggerated when you get older. If you can work against them now, it's in your best interest.

Thanks Vagrant for your response. The issue is: as far as i read, BDP traits disappear as people reach the age of 40. also, there is no efficient therapy for them. they are the pain in the as patients for therapists because BDP looks like/is a characteristic rather than a disease.

[PrometheusENTJ]

Originally Posted by happy To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

After a covert hypnosis session, I realized that I have dormant traits of BPD, which are roughly: 1) fear of being abandoned 2) suicidal thoughts and depression 3) love-hate relationship towards other people These are still dormant because I do not feel them so strongly. They do not make me unable to live my daily life and be successful in my career. However, i tend to isolate myself socially and be a jealous/obsessive partner. some people close to me told me that i also have wandering eyes: i've realized that unconsciously i am sending signals to other attractive males just in case my partner abandons me To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. i befriend people very easily and when i see something i dislike strongly in them, i abandon them very quickly. my questions for you are :-): 1) how can i cope with this? should i accept it as my personality as i am not considering therapy. i don't really want to be an avoidant person nor a bad partner. i am a loyal person and i want to emotionally commit 100% to my husband. 2) do you think these dormant BDP might become a psychosis in the near future? 3) do you think hypnosis could make dormant characteristics more visible like that? (after the session, i started to feel suicidal for one week. i've never had such strong depressive/suicidal feelings before. i even thought about the way i would commit suicide and the note. after my partner told me that this might be the result of covert hypnosis, those suicidal thoughts/feelings disappeared suddenly.)

I'd be careful of going only by three symptoms. The second one of them has much more to do with a Major Depression and Bipolar disorder than Borderline Personality Disorder. You do not list risky behavior such as pervasive promiscuity. In fact from your other posts, I know that the latter is not the case.

Please do not try to diagnose yourself. If you do, read DSM IV manual, but I'd recommend strongly that you get a psychiatric evaluation.

Does your history include potential triggers of BPD such as severe childhood abuse, particularly sexual abuse and other traumas. Does your sense of what you are change from day to day? You do not have to respond to the past two sentences but please reflect on it. If they are true, you need therapy, period!

Your "use and throw" manner with people suggests Bipolar or self-esteem issues. I do not think hypnosis would make an otherwise normal person into a psychotic. Please get a competent psychiatrist to evaluate your history if you have concerns. Unsubstantiated beliefs that something is very wrong with you take away a lot from one's quality of life by way of needless angst.

[Lawliet]

Originally Posted by happy To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

After a covert hypnosis session, I realized that I have dormant traits of BPD, which are roughly: 1) fear of being abandoned 2) suicidal thoughts and depression 3) love-hate relationship towards other people These are still dormant because I do not feel them so strongly. They do not make me unable to live my daily life and be successful in my career. However, i tend to isolate myself socially and be a jealous/obsessive partner. some people close to me told me that i also have wandering eyes: i've realized that unconsciously i am sending signals to other attractive males just in case my partner abandons me To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. i befriend people very easily and when i see something i dislike strongly in them, i abandon them very quickly. my questions for you are :-): 1) how can i cope with this? should i accept it as my personality as i am not considering therapy. i don't really want to be an avoidant person nor a bad partner. i am a loyal person and i want to emotionally commit 100% to my husband. 2) do you think these dormant BDP might become a psychosis in the near future? 3) do you think hypnosis could make dormant characteristics more visible like that? (after the session, i started to feel suicidal for one week. i've never had such strong depressive/suicidal feelings before. i even thought about the way i would commit suicide and the note. after my partner told me that this might be the result of covert hypnosis, those suicidal thoughts/feelings disappeared suddenly.)

Uh, 3 is the only salient symptom there.

<---Diagnosed with BPD.

[Killick]

	Originally Posted by happy To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	BDP traits disappear as people reach the age of 40.

Not true. I have known quite a few people well over 40yo with BPD. And as you said, it is very difficult to treat. I can't imagine why traits would disappear on their own if they don't disappear with treatment.

I also think "love-hate relationship with other people" may be a mischaracterization. True BPs are completely unable to trust others and are extremely manipulative. This is one reason why BPD is so difficult to treat: because it's so hard for a therapist to form a real bond with them. Also, you probably already know this, but the word "borderline" refers to borderline psychotic. It is a very serious mental illness. While it's possible that you have BPD, there are lots of people who fear abandonment and have love-hate relationships & depression but are not borderline.

[Hadeharia]

Like others have said, all of the traits you've listed could be attributed to Axis I disorders (unipolar or bipolar depression, for example) instead of an Axis II disorder. BPD is a serious condition that has a lot of stigmas attached to it, and it's best to avoid the label unless you've been diagnosed with it by a reputable clinician.

May I ask why you're not considering therapy? I could be mistaken, but it seems like that would be more beneficial to you than future hypnosis sessions. You'd be able to ascertain whether or not you have BPD, at least.

[AngryGroceries]

	Originally Posted by happy To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	1) fear of being abandoned 2) suicidal thoughts and depression 3) love-hate relationship towards other people

I experience all of these; it wasn't until recently I learned there was a disorder associated with it.
I also experience many symptoms from 'bipolar' disorder.

I recognize these symptoms as an issue, and just monitor my behavior. It takes practice to monitor your behavior as I've been finding out, but it's just another skill to learn.

I've found that the feelings I have are often exaggerated versions of 'real' feelings. I just act accordingly to a tone downed version of what I'm experiencing, and everything is fine.

I've found it easy yet self-destructive to indulge these feelings; so even if I really want to, I don't let myself unless I think it will somehow help me or someone else in the future. If I want to react or fear the loss of someone(or indulge in some other extreme emotion), I don't let myself if I see no value or constructive output in that behavior.

[PrometheusENTJ]

	Originally Posted by Lawliet To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Uh, 3 is the only salient symptom there. <---Diagnosed with BPD.

All these disorders have an associated spectrum. In your case, in your opinion, one factor might be salient. However you do not know the understanding in someone else's mind of the same word, let alone the intensity of it. Love-hate is common in unipolar and bipolar depression. There is a reason we have DSM IV and not self-selection and self-diagnosis of major clinical disorders.

For example if it is 99% hate and 1% love that is not salient for BPD. However if it is 60% hate and 40% love, that is a stronger signal. Either way, let's not play couch psychiatrist with these disorders that could be potentially life threatening since suicidal feelings and planning are involved.

[dinochop]

Originally Posted by happy To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

After a covert hypnosis session, I realized that I have dormant traits of BPD, which are roughly: 1) fear of being abandoned 2) suicidal thoughts and depression 3) love-hate relationship towards other people These are still dormant because I do not feel them so strongly. They do not make me unable to live my daily life and be successful in my career. However, i tend to isolate myself socially and be a jealous/obsessive partner. some people close to me told me that i also have wandering eyes: i've realized that unconsciously i am sending signals to other attractive males just in case my partner abandons me To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. i befriend people very easily and when i see something i dislike strongly in them, i abandon them very quickly. my questions for you are :-): 1) how can i cope with this? should i accept it as my personality as i am not considering therapy. i don't really want to be an avoidant person nor a bad partner. i am a loyal person and i want to emotionally commit 100% to my husband. 2) do you think these dormant BDP might become a psychosis in the near future? 3) do you think hypnosis could make dormant characteristics more visible like that? (after the session, i started to feel suicidal for one week. i've never had such strong depressive/suicidal feelings before. i even thought about the way i would commit suicide and the note. after my partner told me that this might be the result of covert hypnosis, those suicidal thoughts/feelings disappeared suddenly.)

I have been diagnosed with BPD, bipolar, social phobia and general anxiety disorder; although I can tell you some of my experiences, I can't guarantee that any of this is solely because of BPD and not a combination of two or more of the disorders.

1) Mindfulness meditation is what I do to help cope with it.

I left my husband before we were married due to the way I handled BPD. Before I left him I would either manipulate him into spending more time with me or react completely irrationally when he stood up for himself and spent time with other people. Later after I sought help I learned that I was really just afraid of being alone. I didn't trust my husband as I was certain that he would abandon me like my mother did when I was a child. I moved literally every year during childhood between relatives and a shelter. Now after I have known him for eight years and after he allowed us to renew the relationship after I left him, I have established enough trust within him to not act irrationally when I feel uncertain. When I am alone I still don't feel well (at all), but I have also learned to identify and accept emotions. I try to keep my actual behavior in check.

I also had trouble with coworkers, and honestly I haven't found anything to help cope with devaluation of others. I haven't really improved with that.

Self-treating BPD is very difficult. My advise is if your emotions/behavior is effecting your life negatively enough you should seek help in any way you can including professional therapy.

2) I don't think psychosis and BPD are related.

3) I don't know anything about hypnosis, sorry.

[happy]

	Originally Posted by Lawliet To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Uh, 3 is the only salient symptom there. <---Diagnosed with BPD.

Hey Lawliet, sorry about that. i hope you're doing better. are you having therapy sessions? How did you find therapy so far? Is it helpful?

---------- Post added 04-23-2011 at 12:16 AM ----------

Originally Posted by Hadeharia To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Like others have said, all of the traits you've listed could be attributed to Axis I disorders (unipolar or bipolar depression, for example) instead of an Axis II disorder. BPD is a serious condition that has a lot of stigmas attached to it, and it's best to avoid the label unless you've been diagnosed with it by a reputable clinician. May I ask why you're not considering therapy? I could be mistaken, but it seems like that would be more beneficial to you than future hypnosis sessions. You'd be able to ascertain whether or not you have BPD, at least.

Thanks Hadeharia. i'm not considering hypnosis at all. i am terrified by it. i believe the therapist i was seeing for a short time applied covert hypnosis on me (i have this dreamlike remembrance of our talk and him, hugging me many times and suggesting me to touch people). After the session I found myself hugging random people :/

i do not trust therapists..

---------- Post added 04-23-2011 at 12:17 AM ----------

Originally Posted by AngryGroceries To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

I experience all of these; it wasn't until recently I learned there was a disorder associated with it. I also experience many symptoms from 'bipolar' disorder. I recognize these symptoms as an issue, and just monitor my behavior. It takes practice to monitor your behavior as I've been finding out, but it's just another skill to learn. I've found that the feelings I have are often exaggerated versions of 'real' feelings. I just act accordingly to a tone downed version of what I'm experiencing, and everything is fine. I've found it easy yet self-destructive to indulge these feelings; so even if I really want to, I don't let myself unless I think it will somehow help me or someone else in the future. If I want to react or fear the loss of someone(or indulge in some other extreme emotion), I don't let myself if I see no value or constructive output in that behavior.

May I ask you, do you find yourself feeling nothing sometimes? as if you were not living.. i sometimes feel i am void.

---------- Post added 04-23-2011 at 12:25 AM ----------

Originally Posted by dinochop To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

I have been diagnosed with BPD, bipolar, social phobia and general anxiety disorder; although I can tell you some of my experiences, I can't guarantee that any of this is solely because of BPD and not a combination of two or more of the disorders. 1) Mindfulness meditation is what I do to help cope with it. I left my husband before we were married due to the way I handled BPD. Before I left him I would either manipulate him into spending more time with me or react completely irrationally when he stood up for himself and spent time with other people. Later after I sought help I learned that I was really just afraid of being alone. I didn't trust my husband as I was certain that he would abandon me like my mother did when I was a child. I moved literally every year during childhood between relatives and a shelter. Now after I have known him for eight years and after he allowed us to renew the relationship after I left him, I have established enough trust within him to not act irrationally when I feel uncertain. When I am alone I still don't feel well (at all), but I have also learned to identify and accept emotions. I try to keep my actual behavior in check. I also had trouble with coworkers, and honestly I haven't found anything to help cope with devaluation of others. I haven't really improved with that. Self-treating BPD is very difficult. My advise is if your emotions/behavior is effecting your life negatively enough you should seek help in any way you can including professional therapy. 2) I don't think psychosis and BPD are related. 3) I don't know anything about hypnosis, sorry.

Hi dinochop, thanks a lot for sharing your own experience. I appreaciate this indeed. I have similar tendencies. When I am with my hubby, everything seems to be fine. If he leaves me for a week by myself, i start feeling abandoned and do not miss him at all. i forget who i am and become very open to external manipulation. if i am in that mood, i don't know how to behave. i am confused about my own identity. however, until now i haven't tried drugs. i don't even smoke (although it starts to be tempting). my only self-destructive behavior is excessive mastrbation lol. I am glad that you found your SO who cares for you. I am also happy that i am with my SO. however, i really want to commit myself 100%. in order to protect myself, i fancy about guys i don't know. then, i feel guilty and want to stop it.

[October SKy]

I was physically, psychologically, and sexually abused by my brother from the ages 4-9. I suspect that I have BPD, as I have many of the symptoms; I also have dissociative amnesia. I deal with it alright, no one around be knows I have it. I guess I'm pretty good at hiding it. It's kind of difficult when dealing with relationships though, because you're always suspicious of their actions.

EDIT: As for your questions, just stop and think about each situation logically. You need to come to the realization that people aren't perfect and that what you perceive to be their motives, actually aren't. I don't know, that kind of helped me. I'm currently in a relationship with someone whom I truly love. She doesn't know about my childhood, or my current mental state; but I figure as long as it's not affecting our relationship, I won't mention it. I still get suicidal thoughts (people in my category are 8 times as likely to commit suicide, and 10 times as likely to try a second time), and I still have trust issues. I get jealous; even though I don't show it, I obsess over her actions (when she's nice to guys, even when they hit on her etc) and whether or not she's going to leave me. I simply stop and assess the situation. I remember that she likes me, and only me, and that she's not interested in anyone else (co-workers specifically). It's hard convincing myself, but I manage. But yes, having BPD is very stressful. I hope that you somehow find a way to overcome it, like I somewhat have.

EDIT2: Perhaps I don't have full-blown BPD, but I have a lot of the symptoms. I can somewhat trust people, although I'm always suspicious of their motives. Manipulative? Somewhat.

[happy]

Originally Posted by October SKy To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

I was physically, psychologically, and sexually abused by my brother from the ages 4-9. I suspect that I have BPD, as I have many of the symptoms; I also have dissociative amnesia. I deal with it alright, no one around be knows I have it. I guess I'm pretty good at hiding it. It's kind of difficult when dealing with relationships though, because you're always suspicious of their actions. EDIT: As for your questions, just stop and think about each situation logically. You need to come to the realization that people aren't perfect and that what you perceive to be their motives, actually aren't. I don't know, that kind of helped me. I'm currently in a relationship with someone whom I truly love. She doesn't know about my childhood, or my current mental state; but I figure as long as it's not affecting our relationship, I won't mention it. I still get suicidal thoughts (people in my category are 8 times as likely to commit suicide, and 10 times as likely to try a second time), and I still have trust issues. I get jealous; even though I don't show it, I obsess over her actions (when she's nice to guys, even when they hit on her etc) and whether or not she's going to leave me. I simply stop and assess the situation. I remember that she likes me, and only me, and that she's not interested in anyone else (co-workers specifically). It's hard convincing myself, but I manage. But yes, having BPD is very stressful. I hope that you somehow find a way to overcome it, like I somewhat have. EDIT2: Perhaps I don't have full-blown BPD, but I have a lot of the symptoms. I can somewhat trust people, although I'm always suspicious of their motives. Manipulative? Somewhat.

Hi October, i am deeply sorry about the past you had to pass through. i believe that one way or another we've all been abused when we were children. No need to blame outselves. it was not our fault. your feelings/obsession for your partner sounds similar to mine. i am happy that you knew how to manage them. i am trying to do the same now. i normally do not trust anybody but sometimes i give unreasonable amount of trust to authority figures and find myself in doubtful situations (my professor at college kissed me and my therapist tried to approach me). i think we're living a vicious cycle and i hope we'll find a healthy way to break the cycle.

[lifesight]

I am quite familiar with the borderline personality disorder symptoms, because i experienced most of them and still experience some of them.
these are the symptoms mainly.

1. Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment. 2. Pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation. 3. Identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self. 4. Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g. spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating). 5. Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures or threats, or self-mutilating behavior. 6. Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood. 7. Chronic feelings of emptiness. 8. Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger. 9. Transient, stress, related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms. (DSM IV)

if you answered yes to these, you're most likely to have BPD... you can deal with it by yourself if you were aware of these and know ways to stop the cycle and control your acts.
but therapy might be better to teach you more efficient methods to deal with things, as well as the healing process would be faster.
there is a new treatment called Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) that psychologist uses to help people who suffer from BPD.

[cutenoob]

Originally Posted by lifesight To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

I am quite familiar with the borderline personality disorder symptoms, because i experience most of them and still experience some of them. these are the symptoms mainly. if you answered yes to these, you most likely to have BPD... you can deal with it by yourself if you were aware of these and know ways to stop the cycle and control your acts. but therapy might be better to teach you more efficient methods to deal with things, as well as the healing process would be faster. there is a new treatment called Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) that psychologist uses to help people who suffer from BPD.

I was diagnosed with BPD. Now I'm also experiencing the symptoms of Bi PolarI. It's interesting that there are quite a few common criteria between these two.

I will advocate/recommend the DBT counseling - it works for me. It teaches you coping skills and the ability to catch yourself before you make a rash/irrational/bad decision. And how to cope with stressful times, situations and such. Normal counseling can do this, but DBT is a bit more hands on..AND you have homework and are called on the carpet if you mess up. This, making me responsible and having to show the skills - helps. Structure but creativity with the task.

this all has happened recently for me, I'm still adjusting to this crap, and really have to watch myself and behavior. I think these have been underlying issues for years and just now have popped up. Creativity does come in handy here!

[AngryGroceries]

	Originally Posted by happy To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	H May I ask you, do you find yourself feeling nothing sometimes? as if you were not living.. i sometimes feel i am void.

I do often feel empty. As if nothing is there, or something is missing.
I don't know that I'd describe it as not living, but I have often wanted to die.
I've been much more positive lately though. I've found fully expressing my emotions, even in complete private is enough to remind me I am alive and have much to do.