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What do you look for in a woman? None
Old 03-31-2011, 09:02 PM   #1
Tactical Panda
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Hello INTJf,

What qualities do you look for in a woman?
(In a romantic relational sense.)
(Please keep it civilized and respectful.)

We can break the qualities down into two categories:
1. General qualities:
2. Mandatory qualities:

I suppose these lists will be refined over time.
I expect to refine mine based on life experience and even perhaps the replies.

- - -

I'll start the ball rolling:
1. General qualities:
Chemistry, Beauty, Intelligence, Maturity, Serious Side and a Fun side
2. Mandatory qualities:
Good Character >> Sense of Entitlement

- - -

I would also be interested in hearing from the qualities women look for in their female friends, in a friendship sense.
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Old 03-31-2011, 09:05 PM   #2
Zsych
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Intelligence, more intelligence. Confidence and willingness to fight.
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Old 03-31-2011, 09:06 PM   #3
Tactical Panda
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  Originally Posted by Zsych
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Confidence and willingness to fight.

Physically, power-relationally, emotionally or intellectually?

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Old 03-31-2011, 09:10 PM   #4
Zsych
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As a general attitude towards life and problems (which would also include intellectually and with respect to relationship problems we may have - no unnecessary holding back or trying to protect feelings until you have a bigger mess on your hands)
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Old 03-31-2011, 09:16 PM   #5
Curiosilla
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For female friends (I'm curious why are YOU curious about this?):

1. General qualities:

-Good listener
-No stating the obvious
-Serious and fun
-Ranter.

2. Mandatory qualities:

-Creative Advice/Commentary

I only have 2 good female friends ....I tend to befriend males more than anything because I like to hear their perspective best.
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Old 03-31-2011, 09:19 PM   #6
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  Originally Posted by Curiosilla
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For female friends (I'm curious why are YOU curious about this?):

Because:

  1. your answers could open my eyes to angles of dimensions of people I have never considered or reflected on.
  2. I figured girls were sick to death with the common romantic wish list and assumed asking it about friends would be an interesting and beneficial twist.
  3. Part of it was also that I also didn't want anyone to feel left out.

Also... why ranter? I don't understand. They are fun, but hard to reason with if they are too serious...
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Old 03-31-2011, 09:59 PM   #7
Curiosilla
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Ranter--do you mean the ones who rant on about a serious idea they have?

I like laid-back ranters I can rant with...I'm a ranter too.

Someone I can start ranting about everything and anything in chain form. We can start about talking about how our day went and then somehow transition to talking about umbrellas and end up debating about our governor is doing a good job. All without any pauses in our conversation and without taking tonice of the changes. Just a natural flow.
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Old 04-01-2011, 04:07 AM   #8
MrFreakaficial
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My only requirement is that they have a mature mindset. I find many qualities attractive, so the rest depends on the person. It's the whole that's beautiful, not the parts, right?
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Old 04-01-2011, 04:34 AM   #9
AnaK
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For female friends:

1. General qualities:

-Funny, witty, humorous.
-Not religious or Republican.
-Can talk about more than babies and children. Doesn't think the fact that they are a parent makes them some kind of golden idol with all kinds of special privileges. Doesn't use their kids as a excuse to get what they want. "Could you turn down the music? My precious baby is bothered by loud music." Meanwhile precious baby is in other room oblivious to music and parent is rubbing her temples.
- Knows a little bit about the world.
- Doesn't give me constant unsolicited advice.
- Likes the same kind of restaurants I do.
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2. Mandatory qualities:

- Rater and good listener to rants.
- Reassuring.
- Agreeable.
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Old 04-01-2011, 07:49 AM   #10
SirJamesIII
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-Applied intelligence. I put wit above intelligence.
-Somewhat assertive and confident. I don't want a girl to who will let me push her around
-She must agree on disagreeing
-Doesn't need to talk to communicate
-Rational and knows how to solve a problem without having their emotions be a barrier. They can still be an F though.
-knows which buttons to push. Gets me out of my comfort zone.
-Knows that she can be critical of my actions
-She has a good sense of when something is bothering me. She knows how to open me up when I need some help.
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Old 04-01-2011, 09:15 AM   #11
TheSeer
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honesty, curiosity and tall since im quite tall and don't like towering over people
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Old 04-01-2011, 09:20 AM   #12
Fishism
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General:

-Realism
-Openminded
-Private
-Rational

Mandatory:

-Honest
-Trustworthy
-Consistent
-Socially Aware
-Respectful towards individuality.
-Fair
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Old 04-01-2011, 09:47 AM   #13
BellaBianca
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Just engage my mind. Please. Prettyplease.

Say something I must think about. Something new but valid.
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Old 04-01-2011, 10:23 AM   #14
Tleilaxu
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General:
- Attractive (I'm shallow)
- Not religious is preferable

Mandatory:
- Intelligence. I don't care how nice someone is if I can't have a conversation with them.
- Intellectual curiosity. An interest in learning for the sake of learning has become a non-negotiable trait for me.
- Independent. I'm not a babysitter.
- Ambition. Aspiring to something greater than sitting on the couch and painting her nails.
- Confident. Everyone has moments of weakness, but, again, I'm not a babysitter.
- Respectful. I suppose this is fairly vague. Qualities that I would consider respectful could include appropriate dress and not seeking constant attention from the opposite sex (related to confidence?).
- Not being offended when I leave the room in mid-conversation due to a sudden epiphany that must be tested.
- Honesty.
- Willingness to put at least a shred of effort into the relationship.

I guess I'm a little picky. I suppose I should pick up a few cats and just settle in for the lonely life.

 

Last edited by Tleilaxu; 04-01-2011 at 10:25 AM. Reason: After thoughts
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Old 04-01-2011, 11:23 AM   #15
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1) I should be attracted to her (There is a huge difference between attractive and attracted. I have yet to come across a case of the latter.)
2) I must be able to hold a (intelligent and engaging) conversation with her
3) Verbal communication should not be a compulsory requirement, i.e. she should not feel the need to verbally communicate everything (There is more to life than what can be expressed in humanly defined words.)
4) Associated with point 2 above, she must be able to think for herself and be sufficiently independent
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Old 04-01-2011, 12:21 PM   #16
Mathieu
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I usually look for women I can admire, ie who have qualities I do not possess.
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Old 04-01-2011, 01:14 PM   #17
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Normal weight (not obese or underweight, a few extra pounds is fine)
Clear complexion

otherwise I pretty much hate most women. So its not what I look for, its more a lack of these traits means I don't mind that woman:

Not judgemental
Not a retard
Not a hypocrit
Not rude
No expectation of entitlement
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Old 04-01-2011, 03:01 PM   #18
Tawny Port
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I like excellent manners, an adventurous palate, a sharp and open mind, and someone who can enjoy the candlelight, wine and fireside. They absolutely have to be considerate of others. Kill those and I'm out, so those are the mandatories.
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Old 04-01-2011, 03:21 PM   #19
Nickator
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1. General qualities: hot
2. Mandatory qualities: Smart, confident, openminded
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Old 04-01-2011, 05:21 PM   #20
Anemoi
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1. General qualities:
-Beautiful
-No princess syndrome

2. Mandatory qualities:
-Intelligent, intelligent
-Ranter about nonsensical stuff (I find this hot too)
-Understands my need for space and time
-Not judgmental
-Makes me laugh
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Old 04-02-2011, 12:35 AM   #21
Persona
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It seems to me that examining mandatory qualities first would be more efficient, since there is wiggle room in the general stuff but failure to meet a mandatory implies instant rejection, no?

Mandatory qualities:
Same thing I look for in a man: Connection.

General qualities:
I don't care about anything else. If an attribute blocks me from connecting with them, then that's the letdown. I can't really draw any generalities. Dominating and controlling can be OK if they listen too. Passive-aggressive can be OK if they can accept change. Quiet and meek can be OK if they are intense when it matters. Ugly can be OK if they put a bag on their head....no, but really.
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Old 04-02-2011, 04:56 AM   #22
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A lot would depend on the situation I suppose. Overall similar enough to be interesting and engaging (Intellectual and mature, as well as similar beliefs), but different enough to allow you to view things a little differently. Simply put though a connection to keep me coming back.
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Old 04-02-2011, 05:59 AM   #23
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  Originally Posted by AnotherPersona
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It seems to me that examining mandatory qualities first would be more efficient, since there is wiggle room in the general stuff but failure to meet a mandatory implies instant rejection, no?

Rejection on personal qualities although people may change and grow through maturity?
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Old 04-02-2011, 03:20 PM   #24
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I look for a compatible personality before I make other considerations, so I'm going to reverse the order.

Mandatory:
  • She must have own personality and convictions, and ability to stand up for them
  • She must be able to think and reason
  • She must have empathy
  • She must be able to keep communication open, and talk about troubles or good stuff
General:
  • Ability to adapt and change
  • Witty conversation
  • Craftiness without causeless maliciousness (being a bitch is cool, just have a reason)
  • Ability to be polite when not antagonized, but no further
There's more, but those are the important things.

 

Last edited by n8ey; 04-02-2011 at 03:42 PM. Reason: clarifying a unrealistic point
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Old 04-02-2011, 03:34 PM   #25
ZerroDefex
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Mandatory:
  • Mutual Attraction (otherwise all other bets are off)
  • Intelligent, Enjoys Geeky Pursuits
  • Communicates Openly and Directly
  • Reliable
  • Witty
  • Not a Bitch

General:
  • Physically Attractive (Healthy Weight, not too light or too heavy)
  • Unkempt Beauty is preferred (little to no makeup)
  • Not Self-Entitled
  • Has Personal Ambition
  • Similar Tastes in Movies and Music
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