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what would attract ISTJ's to an INTJ...help?? attraction, intj and istj
Old 02-15-2011, 11:37 AM   #1
Loud Silence
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Since recently becoming single, over the past two months I have had a slightly strange, high amount of ISTJ's hit on me, ask me out, and some have even become quickly attached to me! within a short period of time.

I havent found any of them (in personality) at all attractive to me...yet all of them seem to think im some kind of goddess, and are head over heals about me. I find this very confusing because INTJ and ISTJ are so close in personality..plus I barely give them the time of day, because I have found every one of them to be flat and boring, and constantly looking for someone to entertain them. but my lack of attention to them seems to make them stick to me even more!

what is the draw here, and why?

Does this happen to other INTJ's?

Or vice-versa, has an ISTJ found allot of INTJ's become attracted to them?
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Old 02-15-2011, 11:57 AM   #2
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The most successful strategy I have found for attracting ISxJs is to either tweet, facebook or blog: 'Just finished tidying the house, everything tidy and clean'. This has succeeded on 4 separate occasions, including one turning up at my house with a bottle of red wine. I think they view it was a mating signal.
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Old 02-15-2011, 12:33 PM   #3
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How do you know they're ISTJ?
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Old 02-15-2011, 01:34 PM   #4
Aklis
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  Originally Posted by cannotseethe
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How do you know they're ISTJ?

I forced all my friend to do a MBTI. Didn't you?

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Old 02-15-2011, 02:30 PM   #5
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  Originally Posted by InvisibleJim
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The most successful strategy I have found for attracting ISxJs is to either tweet, facebook or blog: 'Just finished tidying the house, everything tidy and clean'. This has succeeded on 4 separate occasions, including one turning up at my house with a bottle of red wine. I think they view it was a mating signal.

I do believe I have my next social experiment!

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Old 02-15-2011, 03:17 PM   #6
ajrosales
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if you don't want the attention you could emphasize your intuition, critical thinking skills, your boredom with most people and society in general, or a lack of empathy for humanity. Then they will think you are unstable and bitchy and leave you alone. Works like a charm!
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Old 02-15-2011, 03:44 PM   #7
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I'm not entirely sure this matches what the OP is about, but here's my two cents: Sometimes cool, intellectual behavior turns some of them on. Especially if it's polite.

It's bizarre. I haven't figured out the mechanic for this either. The few times it happened to me it ended up dragging on for a while and then a confrontation where I had to tell the person (two woman and one man) that I wasn't interested in them.

It wasn't great. Two of those people disappeared (and they were good friends), one hangs around hopeful I'll change my mind.

My sympathies to the OP.
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Old 02-15-2011, 03:51 PM   #8
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Maybe it's because you are a weird female being INTJ and they are picking up on that? Another INTJ, just like the ISTJ, might also be interested in you but they are quite more rare so perhaps you haven't noticed them.

What is it that they like about you you reckon?
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Old 02-15-2011, 04:51 PM   #9
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A lot of folks seem to be telling the OP how to attract ISTJs, whereas she seems to be asking how to repel them...

Actually, I'm not even sure I know any ISTJs...what're they like? I'm almost positive all my close friends are N's...
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Old 02-15-2011, 04:55 PM   #10
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  Originally Posted by aristos achaion
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Actually, I'm not even sure I know any ISTJs...what're they like? I'm almost positive all my close friends are N's...

Think INTJ but with more common traditional values and you probably have an ISTJ. Someone who memorizes facts better than understands the theory. Someone who memorizes or thinks of system in details as opposed to overall theory?

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Old 02-15-2011, 06:54 PM   #11
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  Originally Posted by InvisibleJim
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The most successful strategy I have found for attracting ISxJs is to either tweet, facebook or blog: 'Just finished tidying the house, everything tidy and clean'. This has succeeded on 4 separate occasions, including one turning up at my house with a bottle of red wine. I think they view it was a mating signal.

'Dirty laundry all over the floor. Plate on the bed. Half-empty glass of fruit juice on dresser. Papers everywhere.'

*Ns flock to my door*

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Old 02-15-2011, 06:58 PM   #12
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Perhaps the attraction is mostly physical?

Edit: entirely to mostly
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Old 02-15-2011, 08:10 PM   #13
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No it's more than physical.

They are attracted to our
  • intelligence
  • lack of strongly expressed emotion
  • orderliness. they internalise it though and take it to a whole new level. whilst we can relax and say yeah things would be nicer if i could find what I was looking for and I didn't have to touch dead skin cells everywhere.
  • the small actions we take to improve our lot

I dated an ISTJ. It wasn't a healthy relationship. I don't think I learnt anything from her. They aren't interested in theoretical subjects (they just pat you on the head), somewhat closed-minded, they make horrible judgments on others without good reason which I find vile and your friends probably won't like them.
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Old 02-16-2011, 12:20 PM   #14
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  Originally Posted by aristos achaion
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A lot of folks seem to be telling the OP how to attract ISTJs, whereas she seems to be asking how to repel them...

thank you!..yes, I am look to repeal them...and by all means I am not trying to attract them ... lol If you see, in my original post, I am having no problem attracting them.


  Originally Posted by nolabel
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Perhaps the attraction is mostly physical?

Edit: entirely to mostly

I have highly considered that..

  Originally Posted by flux88
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No it's more than physical.

They are attracted to our
  • intelligence
  • lack of strongly expressed emotion
  • orderliness. they internalise it though and take it to a whole new level. whilst we can relax and say yeah things would be nicer if i could find what I was looking for and I didn't have to touch dead skin cells everywhere.
  • the small actions we take to improve our lot

I dated an ISTJ. It wasn't a healthy relationship. I don't think I learnt anything from her. They aren't interested in theoretical subjects (they just pat you on the head), somewhat closed-minded, they make horrible judgments on others without good reason which I find vile and your friends probably won't like them.

yeah.. Iv tried to share some of my theoretical thoughts with them to..liven a dead conversation.. but they seem to just sit there and stair blankly at me like Im talking to them in a foreign language. they make horrible judgments on people with out good reason... yes, so true. I think that bad judgement also applies to dating too!

maybe they just tend to be more attracted physically in relationships than anything else? because they certainly do not look for common intellectual interests..

---------- Post added 02-16-2011 at 01:24 PM ----------

  Originally Posted by intjdude
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Think INTJ but with more common traditional values and you probably have an ISTJ. Someone who memorizes facts better than understands the theory. Someone who memorizes or thinks of system in details as opposed to overall theory?

please.. do not insult us INTJ's like that.
thanks.

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Old 02-16-2011, 01:43 PM   #15
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  Originally Posted by Loud Silence
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maybe they just tend to be more attracted physically in relationships than anything else? because they certainly do not look for common intellectual interests.

Dunno. I'm married to an ISTJ, and he says he appreciates my ability to think through things, but I suspect his Si is more attracted physically than he'll admit.

I think the lack of drama is something they like. When we watch movies and one of the characters acts irrationally, throwing things in a fit, he's totally repulsed and won't (or can't?) even attempt to consider what circumstances might have driven them to act like that. So maybe you could throw things around and rave emotively to make them go away? Except I can't myself as an INTJ doing that...

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Old 02-16-2011, 05:27 PM   #16
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I found I could consistently act like a bastard and she would still awe. So yeah I think attractiveness is probably a little more important than other types would assign to it.
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Old 02-16-2011, 10:26 PM   #17
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I got it! ....so I should just make my fb so they can only see unattractive photos?
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Old 02-17-2011, 08:55 AM   #18
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I'm sorry, but like a true INTJ, you're overanalyzing this.

The guys oggling you don't care about your MBTI typology. It's the furthest thing from their mind.

You're visually appealing, your pheremones fill their brain with warm and fuzzy feelings and they want to get to know you better for multiple purposes, with a high priority on a fun game of naked twister. Don't be surprised if one of them pulls your pigtails or punches you in the arm.

One of these men, MBTI type be damned, could quite possibly make you feel the same way.
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Old 02-17-2011, 10:51 AM   #19
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I'm also going to say it's primarily physical. But it's also worth pointing out that some people inexplicably attract certain types, and I don't even necessarily mean personality types. For example, I'm twenty-two, but I attract a disproportionate amount of women in their thirties and forties (not that I'm complaining).
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Old 02-17-2011, 11:13 AM   #20
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  Originally Posted by Sesquipedalian
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'Dirty laundry all over the floor. Plate on the bed. Half-empty glass of fruit juice on dresser. Papers everywhere.'

*Ns flock to my door*

I often wondered why I was attracted to ENFPs despite no other redeeming features I could identify apart from them being 'interesting'.

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Old 02-17-2011, 11:15 AM   #21
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If they knew you while you were in a relationship, they might have liked you for a while, and now they try to get to you before anyone else does.

I think. I have seen this happen to several of my female friends over the years, even if it wasn't necessarily INTJs and ISTJs.

It calms down after a while when you have turned them down and you establish yourself as "not interested".
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Old 02-17-2011, 03:57 PM   #22
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  Originally Posted by Loud Silence
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please.. do not insult us INTJ's like that.
thanks.

I presume this is sarcasm...

But I'm curious, how are you not boring? What do you do?

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Old 02-17-2011, 05:38 PM   #23
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  Originally Posted by intjdude
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I presume this is sarcasm...

But I'm curious, how are you not boring? What do you do?

yes
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that was sarcasm.
well...there is really no way of saying weather im boring or not...that would depend on the persons intrests and type.

I am not quite sure what you mean by "what do you do?"

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Old 02-27-2011, 03:00 AM   #24
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I'm guessing the ISTJ would be attracted to the INTJ because they presume "Oh this person is kinda like me!" then sooner or later the both of you find out that you are both radically different people even though on the outside the both are similar.
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Old 02-28-2011, 05:23 PM   #25
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You could ask them why they think you are attractive and then start doing the opposite? Make it an experiment
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