[Malkavia]

How bad is your anger? Be honest.

Almost every source for MBTI I've looked at has anger as one of the weaknesses to INTJs. They do not tolerate incompetence and looking at many of the replies on this forum, a lot of INTJs simply do not want to interact with people "who just aren't as intelligent as them."

If you have anger, do you try and change? Do you try to be more tolerant and accepting of people different than you? If you do, how do you do it?

My INTJ roommate has never been mad at me, but I've seen his anger and it can be a scary sight. Lately hes been really apologetic about it and has been wanting to change it.

[Supaslim]

I tolerate incompetence just fine, as long as it doesn't directly harm me or my goals. I am also far more critical of myself than of others. I don't give a rat's ass how smart somebody is unless we're working on a group project together or something.

I rarely get angry, but when I do... evacuate before I go all Krakatoa and you get caught in the mayhem. I tend to hide my darker side at all times, from everybody, but sometimes it slips. Makes people uncomfortable, and their discomfort makes me uncomfortable... But, I won't change. I'm not sure I could change if I tried. All I can do is try to sequester it away so it doesn't freak anyone out.

[Zsych]

My anger is deeply buried. It normally only comes out if I force it to.

[True Rune]

Not this INTJ. I've always tried to keep the peace.

[strawberries]

Oh yes. I experience a great deal of anger, most often when I see some kind of injustice happening. I think this is actually a good thing/survival mechanism. I come from an abusive family situation, and as a child, my anger protected me from giving in to their cruelty and kept me fighting back.

However, I take responsibility for myself and deal with it in constructive ways. I refuse to take it out on others. Mostly, I try to divert it and see the humor in situations rather than allowing myself to feel the full force of the emotion. I also hit the gym a whole lot, and turn it into some intense cardio. Or I use it to motivate me to positive action. You would have to know me well to tell if I am angry, and even then, I will not express it as aggression but rather go off on my own till it wears off. My anger gives me no right to hurt other people.

that said, I can see it being pretty damn useful in the case of self defense. It's like I have a well of it stored below the surface - not volatile, but I can call it up if threatened. I've had to use it a couple of times, and the other person had no idea what hit him. I can be extremely explosive and, apparently, "absolutely terrifying" if necessary.

[zibber]

I am extremely laid back, but on the very rare occasions when someone does manage to get me truly angry, they are in legitimate physical danger. It scares me whenever that happens.

[MrSoloDolo]

i've always been able to control it well, but growing up if i felt i was misunderstood or somebody challenged my integrity, i would get into a rage in my head. Sometimes i play out scenarios in my head about what i'd do if somebody made me snap, but i do beleive that all forms of anger are rooted in misunderstanding. Cardio and good music usually helps alot

[Nemesis]

Long, long, long, long, long fuse. I can get irritable with people sometimes, and it will show. But, That's just housekeeping shit to maintain my boundries. When I'm legitimately pissed, you best hope that you're not the one I'm glaring at. I won't lash out at bystanders or burn down the city in my wake. Instead, I focus it all on whoever I'm pissed at. I'm pretty good at making people cry, and I can hold my own physically. I can only think of a couple times I've been that mad.

[nolabel]

Annoyance at most. My mom can frustrate me though.

Don't get angry. Get even.

[BellaBianca]

I do often read about how annoyed the members here feel when people are incompetent, but I am still left with the impression that it's not really the incompetence that makes them angry, it is disrespect, and often the incompetence seems to be read as a symptom of disrespect.

[SkyintheSea]

	Originally Posted by MrSoloDolo To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	i've always been able to control it well, but growing up if i felt i was misunderstood or somebody challenged my integrity, i would get into a rage in my head. Sometimes i play out scenarios in my head about what i'd do if somebody made me snap, but i do beleive that all forms of anger are rooted in misunderstanding. Cardio and good music usually helps alot

Totally agree.

But I cannot always control this, and sometime my rage gets very dangerous. I can be a lot aggressive sometime.

[IotaNull]

I'm never physically aggressive, but I can have a very short fuse sometimes, generally when I perceive something done or said as so fundamentally stupid that nobody could ever consider it a good idea. This is allayed when a sensible argument is presented for it (even if it's not one I agree with), but this is rarely the case.

That said, I don't recall ever losing my temper with someone who was making a genuine effort to change or explain themselves; it's only when I'm presented with "I don't care how much sense this makes, I'll do it anyway, consequences be damned". Needless to say, I have... issues with extreme bureaucracy.

[pironiro]

Anger can be a great motivator to improve yourself if you channel it in the right way. I would probably be a depressed loser if I didn't have my righteous anger within to drive me forward.

[Philanthropist]

	Originally Posted by Malkavia To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	How bad is your anger? Be honest.

I wouldn't consider myself angry. Possibly impatient, maybe particular, but it's actually quite hard to make me genuinely angry.

	Originally Posted by Malkavia To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	They do not tolerate incompetence and looking at many of the replies on this forum, a lot of INTJs simply do not want to interact with people "who just aren't as intelligent as them."

Well, there's a reason I choose not to be a nanny or a school teacher. Do you genuinely like interacting with people who aren't as smart as you? I'm asuming you do otherwise you wouldn't write the question like that. Do you find it entertaining? Do you learn much from people of inferior intelligence?

	Originally Posted by Malkavia To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Do you try to be more tolerant and accepting of people different than you? If you do, how do you do it?

No, I don't. I avoid them.

	Originally Posted by Malkavia To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	My INTJ roommate has never been mad at me, but I've seen his anger and it can be a scary sight. Lately hes been really apologetic about it and has been wanting to change it.

He has PMS.

[IotaNull]

	Originally Posted by Philanthropist To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Do you find it entertaining? Do you learn much from people of inferior intelligence?

If intelligence is defined in the conventional sense here, then yes, especially within the context of social skills.

[Fishism]

Yes, I'm an angry guy but it doesn't manifest itself in physical violence, but in passionate argument or debate. If I couldn't find willing participants in my venting sessions, I'd boil like a kettle. I won't speak for all INTJ's, but it makes sense that "passion" plus "introversion" leads to ticking time bombs where energy is stored without outlet for future use. In the past, should someone provoke me to physical violence, I can feel the rush of pent up anger, along with the incident at hand and like many have suggested here so far, I'm afraid of myself.

[Malkavia]

	Originally Posted by Philanthropist To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Well, there's a reason I choose not to be a nanny or a school teacher. Do you genuinely like interacting with people who aren't as smart as you? I'm asuming you do otherwise you wouldn't write the question like that. Do you find it entertaining? Do you learn much from people of inferior intelligence?

I like interacting with almost anyone, regardless of intelligence. I think its possible to learn something from anyone.

[Robot]

It seems like the common INTJ way of dealing with anger is to bottle it up, or only express a small portion of it, making the emotion incredibly self-destructive.

I'd consider anger a weakness of mine, especially since I'm so good at controlling my expression of it. I don't listen to myself in the sense that I really need to blow off steam sometimes, and I simply don't. For some reason my composure is more important than not letting people walk all over me. I have a short fuse, but I tend to implode rather than let others know the extent of my anger. Whatever people see of me being angry is just the tip of the iceberg.

[karenann33]

I have a tendency to be angry. However I bottle it up which does cause a problem. I'm back in therapy and she said I'm not really angry I'm just annoyed, overwhelmed, irritated, etc. Much of my issues stem from an abusive childhood not my MBTI. My husband is INTJ and he the most laid back person I've ever met. His fuse is extremely long. In 20 years I've probably only seen him truly angry a handful of times.

[Philanthropist]

	Originally Posted by Iota Null To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	If intelligence is defined in the conventional sense here, then yes, especially within the context of social skills.

Define it any which way you want. Social intelligence is also a form on intelligence.

---------- Post added 02-10-2011 at 11:36 PM ----------

	Originally Posted by Malkavia To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I think its possible to learn something from anyone.

True, but it sometimes it takes 5 minutes to learn (all you probably want to) from a person. E.g. 'Oh right, remind me to never end up like you'. End interaction.

[Ilara]

I can't say I'm a particularly angry person.

I get annoyed with stupidity on a regular basis, when as somebody pointed out it's really defiant stupidity in the face of all evidence to show that it's fucking stupid. Deliberate idiocy annoys me. Accidental idiocy, not so much. Sometimes you get a bit distracted and do something stupid. Like this morning, my opening the fridge to find my boots. I don't know why, I just got distracted and I was standing near the fridge and supposed to be doing something, so I opened the fridge. Go figure. Now, if I then insisted that opening the fridge door was the correct behaviour when trying to find my boots, then I would annoy myself.

In general, anger is an easy emotion. Maybe that's why it's considered a weakness of INTJs. Anger is quick, straightforward, focussed, and so easy to indulge in. Not so for a lot of emotions. So it might well surface more in those who find emotions in general hard to express. It's such a tidy feeling, after all. Not like love, hurt, guilt, etc.

[Malkavia]

	Originally Posted by Philanthropist To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	True, but it sometimes it takes 5 minutes to learn (all you probably want to) from a person. E.g. 'Oh right, remind me to never end up like you'. End interaction.

I've noticed a lot of people on this forum see people in a much more hierarchical sense than I do.

I dont think anyone is worth no more than 5 minutes of my time. They're a person who has hopes, dreams, and some type of intelligence or passion regardless of whether its been lost or buried somewhere.

That doesnt mean I whimsically give my time to just anyone, I understand time is limited and therefore I try to be around people who benefit me most but I don't think the essence of someone is greater or lesser than me.

I think I should clarify what I meant in my OP in regards to anger. I don't mean expressing anger, that seems to be variable. I mean anger itself. The INTJs I've seen seem very irritable with someone until they have proven their worth, usually through intellect. These annoyances and irritations are normally buried until they become self-destructive or explode.

[MrFlaneur]

Ive never been in a physical fight, but I know that If someone pushed me totally to the edge (very hard to do) it wouldnt turn out well for the other party (understatement). True rage in me is like something most peeps could not comprehend, were talking about WMD stuff.

The vast majority of the time im as mellow as a hindu cow though. If I have pure unadulterated hatred for a person, they are in big trouble, but again, in my experience, its very very rare - the other party would have had to do something very life altering to me or conspired to do so. Other than that I just dont care at all - water off a ducks back.

[Coonsy]

I have an extremely long fuse, followed by a very thin line. Only a few people on this planet have ever hit that line.

Overall, I'm typically extremely emotionally stable - I don't get too wound up about things, and can usually calm myself quickly if I'm getting worked up. I do experience a fairly large amount of annoyance with people, but it's not anger - there's a distinct difference for me. I wouldn't say that I bottle up my emotions, I just generally don't get emotionally involved enough to care that much.

On the extraordinarily rare occasion that someone has pushed me to that line, it gets a little scary, at least for other people. I suddenly become extremely calm (even more so than I was), get a stone cold look in my eyes, and inform the other person they better quit and leave right now. (This is, of course, if I have attempted to physically remove myself from the situation, and have been unable to do so). If they persist, I will get physical.

I can only think of 2 times in my entire life when this has happened, and for both of them I was in my late teens/early 20's, but I know it's still there, it's just the way I'm wired. Both of these were situations involving family.

In nearly every other situation, I'm able to remove myself if I feel like it's headed down that road, or I don't care enough about the person to ever have them affect me in that way.

[RIMN]

I used to have Anger issues because of my childhood but I dealt with them a few years ago and now I have much better control over my Anger than the large majority of people. Anger is rarely a productive response so I rarely use it; but for the few things which I do consider it to be the appropriate response for, such as abuse or hurting someone I Love, I skip right past Angry and go strait to Enraged. Normally I am a pleasant laid back person but when Enraged I want to kill the object of my passion and, specifically, to do it with a blunt object.