[Theophilus71]

INTJ's are naturally good at reading people. Partly because introverted peeps are very observant.

I remember reading INTJ's are very sensitive to rejection from others. Try thinking of created situations with the people involved, I am sure you can guess what their reactions would be.

I'm good at reading people too but sometimes I may question my instincts which also consider to double think and risk a mistake.. Either way.

[True Rune]

I can read the words, but not the sentences.

[datagirl]

	Originally Posted by ricearoni To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	My sister's husband does this all the time. He'll get all worked up trying to prove a point (and he's just doing this because he likes debating things not because he thinks she's stupid) and end annoying the heck out of my sister. I can see her getting really uncomfortable and when she finally tells him that he's driving her nuts, he's totally clueless as to why.

Great example - INTJs are so focused on their personal flavor of Ni that they are oblivious to Fe social clues.

This thread also highlights the differences between INTJ and INTP when it comes to social awareness and self-confidence. INTPs know that people skills are their greatest area of vulnerability (I second guess myself, I feel unsure of myself, what are the hidden motivations?). INTJs are completely driven by the inner agenda with the result that they 1) don't care how others respond* or 2) oversimplify human personality (how many "sheeple" comments in INTJf?).

* Different from the why-can't-the-world-accept-me-fuck-them-all not caring of INTP. That is an immature Fe response to social rejection.

[contemplative1]

I am fairly good at reading people. I can often figure out agendas / motivations behind a certain line of speaking. Others find this kind of freaky, but I think it is just logic applied to human behavior which is not as complex as we often imagine. I believe Solomon was right when he said "there is nothing new under the sun." People respond to situations and are motivated by similar issues if put in the right situations.

My wife on the other hand, is not an INTJ. She is uncannily good at "reading people" on a "trust them" or "don't trust them" basis (along with other aspects). When we were first married I dismissed this because when I asked her to defend why she felt that way she could not. After 13 years of being married to this very perceptive lady, I have found that her impressions are nearly always correct! I don't attribute this to some kind of special emotive esp deal, but rather that she must be picking up on subtle body language / facial cues that I must not be paying attention to.

I think reading people is essentially a learned skill. I know that when I let my shyness rule me when I was younger I did not read people nearly as well as I did when I set out to engage the world around me and then after a few years of observation of various people in a variety of settings patterns emerged.

I was in the Marine Corps for a while and barracks life was an eye opener to how folks who were very different to myself looked at the world. I worked a number of menial jobs in grad school and college which further broadened my understanding of how others process the world. I have a job where people let me into their private worlds on a daily basis which as been a further helpful tool in understanding / relating to others.

[dogwoodlover]

The vibes I get from people are always spot-on. Every time. I can read someone's character/attitude like a book. Trusting Ni in this regard is an important thing for an INTJ to learn.

However, I very often miss subtle cues in-the-moment. Suggestions and implied subtleties tend to be lost on me. Especially with women. I often find myself thinking after-the-fact... "hey, I think she was really into me" or "wait a second... she totally propositioned me". Te development helps with this. Getting outside of one's head is the best way to fight being oblivious.

[suzib]

I have been noticing more and more that people give much of themselves away if you care to notice the signs.
Particularly, I have noticed a "rehearsed" sound to someone's speech if they are very emotional about it. As if they have gone over it so many times in their heads before they verbalized it.
It's getting easier to spot lying, too. One of the biggest clues is the way the speaker nods their head a lot, as if they have to convince both me and themselves that what they say is true. They throw in unneeded details, also.

Hurt or anger are easy to spot, but hard to interpret. Is is at me? Themselves? Someone else?

I unfortunately am horrible at hiding if I am angry or hurt. I wish I could. it makes me feel very vulnerable.

[pauvrefille]

I feel like I"m pretty good at reading people's moods. The problem is that unless you're a close personal friend, I really don't care enough to inquire what's wrong.

[Iago]

Some of us will be instinctive at reading people and some of us won't, it is however a skill that can learnt, and it is very very useful. I've paid a fair bit of attention to improving my skills in this area, and found it very helpful.

[Dung]

Are we REALLY that bad at reading people? If I may offer a personal answer that would be yes and no. No because I usually can read people alright and easily, yes, in that I never trust my first impression.

In other words, my first impression about people is usually right, dry, factual and not necessarily flattering, but I tend to dismiss it. I chose to basically trust everybody, and have ton of empathy even though most people can quickly annoy be. Due to this attitude I have known my share of abusive people, and, while I obviously know they are fake, I still give them the benefit of the doubt. Out of kindness, sort of, because it takes some effort to really dislike people; and probably more so because I don't care to read people. I like people however they may be. People should read themselves first and improve on that if they will. I am not going to "use" reading what they are about, for any purpose, unless it is really important to do so.

[MissBlossom]

I think I can read other people pretty well, I just tend to ignore things I don't want to see. Also I have no idea how to react properly to most of other people's emotions.

[llBradll]

I can read people well enough. Sometimes I just don't care enough to accommodate their thoughs/feelings though.

[Anreader]

I read people almost perfectly. Unfortunately, I never quite know how to react. Its like there is a block between thought and action. I know how others act and then I panic because I've no idea how to respond causing me to respond wrongly.

[thehuman]

It makes no sense for one human to try to read another. We developed language so that we can talk with each other and be 100% clear. We should stop trying to read each other like a bunch of primates.

[UltraIncredible]

I'm pretty sure other people are bad at reading me.

[Fecal McAngry]

Originally Posted by Jamo To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

I always thought that I was bad at reading peoples emotions based on their words, expressions ect. Recently though, I have noticed that I notice most signals that people give out, and tend to have the correct first thought about them (correct about 90% of the time). My problem is that I tend to second guess myself and come up with other explanations. But as I have trusted my instinct more and more, everything has gotten easier. I guess I can be objective and not let my emotions get too much in the way and can actually see through people. Trusting myself has helped a TON in the relationship department. I tend to think that I am more often unsure of myself instead of actually being bad at reading people. So I was wondering if any other INTJ's have noticed the same thing about themselves or if I am an anomaly :/

You're probably 1000x better than the average INTP
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[koakuma]

	Originally Posted by Anreader To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I read people almost perfectly. Unfortunately, I never quite know how to react. Its like there is a block between thought and action. I know how others act and then I panic because I've no idea how to respond causing me to respond wrongly.

I think this is a good description to how I function as well. I don't panic, I just am clueless on how to respond and then I tell them that I want to respond but have no idea what to say. So far, everyone has apprechated that response instead of no response at all.
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[The Dan Keizer]

I love reading people and I am pretty good at it. I usually only do it subconsciously, but if I am particularly interested in a person I will go into Sherlock Holmes mode and do some observing and deducing and inferring.

[SirJamesIII]

Your thoughts aren't safe around me

[Eleanorigby]

I'm usually very observant when people interact with each other and can read a lot about them this way. Also my instinctive insights are pretty spot-on when there's nothing at stake for me. When the outcomes of my judgement are important, all the expectations interfere with my readings, and I fall back on rationalization. When people interact with me, I take them at face value - very bad at reading cues when people try to communicate something non-verbally TO ME.

[The Dan Keizer]

LOL, my brother is more of an extrovert than me and he will sort of read interactions more than I do.

Last weekend my brother was in town and we were smoking cigarettes behind this bar we went to. A buddy of mine came out the back door, stopped a moment to say hello and announce that he had left his cigarettes out in the car. I told him he had best go get them if that was the case and he wandered off.

My brother told me that Trevor was in fact asking me for a cigarette when he said he had left them in the car, and that I had rudely blown him off. We had a short argument about whether Trevor was just making a statement, or if he was actually trying to ask for a cigarette in a roundabout way.

I says, "Well I don't think he was asking for one, and if Trevor WAS asking he is asking me the wrong way because I don't play those fucking games. If he wants one he can ask for one."

So of course to settle this argument we Keizers stopped Trevor on his way back in and asked if his intention had been to bum a smoke. Trevor said indeed it had not been his intention, and that if he had wanted a cigarette he would have asked for one plainly.

So then I got to tell my brother to go take a flying fuck at a rolling donut.

[Terennnash]

The only behavioral/body language/social q's i miss are the ones that cross from casual flirting to genuine interest. I worked as a bartender for several years(apparently a fuck you attitude + deadpan delivery is a good thing behind the bar)


Anyway, stereotypes aside, my bar had a fairly solid early to late twenties crowd, and girls would work whatever assets they had to help ensure a smaller tab. Never let it work, always assumed that was their motivation, and thats kind of spilled into flirting any other time. Now any time a woman is bantering with me in any capacity, i kind of zone, unless the boundaries are solidly defined.

[xxstevenxxsan]

I'm not. I can see right through people. I can smell a bullsh*tter a mile away.

[Nomatterwhat]

Originally Posted by Dan Keizer To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

My brother told me that Trevor was in fact asking me for a cigarette when he said he had left them in the car, and that I had rudely blown him off. We had a short argument about whether Trevor was just making a statement, or if he was actually trying to ask for a cigarette in a roundabout way. I says, "Well I don't think he was asking for one, and if Trevor WAS asking he is asking me the wrong way because I don't play those fucking games. If he wants one he can ask for one." So of course to settle this argument we Keizers stopped Trevor on his way back in and asked if his intention had been to bum a smoke. Trevor said indeed it had not been his intention, and that if he had wanted a cigarette he would have asked for one plainly. So then I got to tell my brother to go take a flying fuck at a rolling donut.

HAHA, man, Trevor was asking for a cigarette, you are worse than me
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And he didnt tell you afterwards that he was infact asking for cigarette because he that would have made him look weak(according to him and aaaaaal other normals peoples perspectives) since being indirect is a weak attitude, and admitting that he was asking for a cigarret also meant he was shut down with your response, which also puts him in a weak spot, and if he told you that, you would try to do something and make up for your rudeness, which would also put him in a weak spot. So yeah, your bro was right
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[UKsplendid]

	Originally Posted by thehuman To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	It makes no sense for one human to try to read another. We developed language so that we can talk with each other and be 100% clear. We should stop trying to read each other like a bunch of primates.

Very few people, if any, are 100% clear when speaking.

[Nomatterwhat]

	Originally Posted by UKsplendid To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Very few people, if any, are 100% clear when speaking.

Plus humans are hard wired to communicate via body language and tonality, since we have been using verbal communication for only 200.000 years, it was only kicking and screaming communication for 4.800.000 years.