[Yijing]

As a typical INTJ, I can deal with things perfectly in my job. I am a good advisor to my friends as I always see things very clear and spot to the point. But in my personal life, I can't handle things related with emotion. When guys love me and want to start relationship, I run away, I gooseflesh, and I feel uncomfortable. I try to say NO decently, but always end up with shit. I could have sex with guys who I like and who talk in the same level as me, but that's it. When they love me, I feel suprised. Maybe my T is too strong, or maybe I am too rational.

Do you have the same problem? How you deal with it?

[Thomas60]

If you understood why your uneasy, then I guess it would be rational. Otherwise it seems more like an instinctive reaction to the strange and perhaps 'unneccessary' element, although there's a reason we have a sub-conscious, there's no time to calculate everything
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... I'd finish my post, but I'm under time pressure.

[Blse]

This has nothing, absolutely nothing, to do with T. This is about some other issue you have. Could be low-self-esteem cauing you to mistrust anyone who seems something in you, could be a fear of intimacy, could be a fear of having to compromise. You may want to analyze this and perhaps consider therapy. Whatever the case, this isn't attributable to MBTI.

[castalia]

I'm the same way, and it is not because of low self-esteem. I have a high T (about 80%).

[Blse]

	Originally Posted by castalia To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I'm the same way, and it is not because of low self-esteem. I have a high T (about 80%).

I have a high T too and so does my fiance. There's nothing about Te that would make you push away love. Quite the contrary there are many benefits to having some you love and who loves you; so Te can actually make you seek love.

Many people on here (and I'm not saying you do this - so there's no need for an anecdotral reply on how this doesn't apply to you personally), confuse being a T with being emtionally immautre. I also beleive that a great number of "INTJs" on here are not INTJs, but simply folks who mistyped their emotional immaturity or social ineptitude as part of MBTI (it's a whole lot nicer to say "I'm a mastermind," than "I'm not capable of loving.")

[Anreader]

	When guys love me and want to start relationship, I run away, I gooseflesh, and I feel uncomfortable. I try to say NO decently, but always end up with shit. I could have sex with guys who I like and who talk in the same level as me, but that's it.

I flee emotional involvement like crazy. I even stopped going to my favorite gas station because of a guy who worked there. I agree, I could have sex with some of these dude & have no emotional attachment. So, I avoid sex too. I feel like I'm a slippery slope away from being a female Charlie Sheen (on the show). How do I deal with it? I don't. I avoid men and sex. Its working!

[Allen3373]

Originally Posted by Blse To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Many people on here (and I'm not saying you do this - so there's no need for an anecdotral reply on how this doesn't apply to you personally), confuse being a T with being emtionally immautre. I also beleive that a great number of "INTJs" on here are not INTJs, but simply folks who mistyped their emotional immaturity or social ineptitude as part of MBTI (it's a whole lot nicer to say "I'm a mastermind," than "I'm not capable of loving.")

I also often wonder how many 'INTJs' on this site aren't INTJs, and just like the idea of being an INTJ.

[Little T]

I think that is probably common here.

[Allen3373]

	Originally Posted by Little T To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I think that is probably common here.

I had a moment of panicked possible hypocrisy and had to go retake the test again just to be sure. The numbers have adjusted a bit over the time, but yup... I'm an INTJ.

[SecretSchizoid]

I feel surprise too … and a little annoyed, especially if I think they don’t know me well enough to have those feelings. Who have they fallen in love with? Me (whom they don’t know) or their fantasy image of me (which I won’t be able to live up to)?

For this reason, I make sure my male friends are aware that I’m not interested in a romantic relationship early on in the friendship.

[Anreader]

	For this reason, I make sure my male friends are aware that I’m not interested in a romantic relationship early on in the friendship.

I do this too should a man want to be my friend. I also make blanket statements about not being the kind of girl who has premarital sex. Cools some jets.

I consistently test INTJ, have since high school Psych. Of course I'm much less inhibited online than in person. Also I have only a slight preference for N.

[Sparko]

Well generally speaking, when you do not have the capacity to have an emotion for another person (ex. Compassion, love, respect, trust, admiration, acceptance), it is because you do not have these sentiments for yourself. This is a great way to discover your own relationship with yourself, as us humans are constantly projecting our worth, intention and nature on to others.

In other words, I would suggest taking a look at yourself to see how you feel about you as a starting point.

I went through a very similar thing. I thought I was incapable of falling in-love. Some where along the lines, I learned that was not true and discovered how really love and accept myself the way I am. My relationship's changed from then on. It's quite an interesting phenomenon.

[starstar1]

I get gooseflesh and all tingly just looking a beautiful girl in the eyes hah

[Yijing]

Originally Posted by Sparko To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Well generally speaking, when you do not have the capacity to have an emotion for another person (ex. Compassion, love, respect, trust, admiration, acceptance), it is because you do not have these sentiments for yourself. This is a great way to discover your own relationship with yourself, as us humans are constantly projecting our worth, intention and nature on to others. In other words, I would suggest taking a look at yourself to see how you feel about you as a starting point. I went through a very similar thing. I thought I was incapable of falling in-love. Some where along the lines, I learned that was not true and discovered how really love and accept myself the way I am. My relationship's changed from then on. It's quite an interesting phenomenon.

I think this maybe a solution. It is true that I have low emotional involovment with myself. But for sure I love myself that I materially treat myself good, but not emtional part. I paid a lot of attention and interests to outside world, but little of my heart. I would try to do that. Thank you.

[intjistp]

I am INTJ tested by a Pro psych, I have a lots of strong feelings in romatic manner, I take insults (even imaginary ones) seriously. But some things just do not touch me, like people who has no meaning to me. I get easily moved by art, movies, music.

So I take emotional interference either too strongly or not at all, depending where it comes from.

[Collect3825]

Originally Posted by Blse To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

I have a high T too and so does my fiance. There's nothing about Te that would make you push away love. Quite the contrary there are many benefits to having some you love and who loves you; so Te can actually make you seek love. Many people on here (and I'm not saying you do this - so there's no need for an anecdotral reply on how this doesn't apply to you personally), confuse being a T with being emtionally immautre. I also beleive that a great number of "INTJs" on here are not INTJs, but simply folks who mistyped their emotional immaturity or social ineptitude as part of MBTI (it's a whole lot nicer to say "I'm a mastermind," than "I'm not capable of loving.")

I'm going to have to agree with you 100 percent here, I think its more of how you were raised as a child and your attachment style.


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Is a nice intro to attachment theory, I took a class on this in college and it was absolutely fascinating and frighteningly accurate.