Would You Be a House Husband? (Stay At Home Husband)

**SelfMadeBum** · 11-12-2010, 06:19 AM

Gentlemen, gentlemen--

Say your wife earned a way more than respectable living; earned far more than you'd ever need (into the millions, if you like) and it meant you no longer had to work outside of the home to contribute to the household.

You are aware (or believe strongly) that your children would benefit from a stay at home parent, and the logical choice is you.

This means you would be required to take on the day to day tasks of household management - cleaning/cooking/laundering chores, bill paying, grocery shopping, offspring maintenance, etc. and you have your free time to follow your leisure pursuits.

Would you then be open to the idea? Take on the role with relish/resentment? Please give reasons for you answer.

**Necrosis** · 11-12-2010, 06:27 AM

Originally Posted by SelfMadeBum
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Gentlemen, gentlemen--

Say your wife earned a way more than respectable living; earned far more than you'd ever need (into the millions, if you like) and it meant you no longer had to work outside of the home to contribute to the household.

You are aware (or believe strongly) that your children would benefit from a stay at home parent, and the logical choice is you.

This means you would be required to take on the day to day tasks of household management - cleaning/cooking/laundering chores, bill paying, grocery shopping, offspring maintenance, etc. and you have your free time to follow your leisure pursuits.

Would you then be open to the idea? Take on the role with relish/resentment? Please give reasons for you answer.

Sure I would. I would just find something part time I can work on at home. Plus eventually the kids will go to school and that means tons of free time at home alone. i can work at my own time like i love too. Screw corporate.

Seriously though, I don't see why not. Most of the things you listed I do now anyway on my own.

**TenochAcampicht** · 11-12-2010, 06:32 AM

If she was the one with the job that required her to be out of the house, and my work made it so that I am usually at home, I would of course be a stay at home husband. My belief is, while domestic chores should be shared by all who live in the house, the person who stays at home is responsible for the cooking/cleaning mainly. If the man is at home, it's his job to do it, if the wife is, it's hers, if they both work, they need to either get a cleaning service or share duties.

I do web-design now. I also record music, with both of these, it's mainly done at home. Would I have any problem with my wife was say a accountant, auditor, doctor, teacher, psychologist, etc. and I had to do the cooking? No. I do the cooking at my own house, and I am good with cooking if I do say so myself. I clean up after myself now anyway, A little more is no issue. It could be swapped on weekend. The wife can then on the weekends do some of the cooking (And vice versa if man is at work, wife at home). The main cleaning is no issue.

On another issue though, would I expect if I just used a glass and want to have it washed and my wife is the one at home, that my wife should clean it? No, I can clean it myself obviously. Same goes in the reverse.

**SelfMadeBum** · 11-12-2010, 06:35 AM

I didn't mean for it to seem like you'd still be able to have a job.

I mean if you would give up your job to be a stay-at-home husband.

**themuzicman** · 11-12-2010, 06:43 AM

Absolutely. Kids at school, I get my alone-time all day... I'd just create a regular schedule to get the work done, and spend the rest of my time in whatever way I wanted to.

I'd do it in a heartbeat.

**karenann33** · 11-12-2010, 06:54 AM

I answered for my dh who is an INTJ. He says absolutely NOT! Says you couldn't pay him to do what I do. It's harder than it looks. My life was easier when I worked outside the home.

.....although I am counting the days to when my youngest starts school. I will then get 6 blissful hours alone all to myself. I can't wait!

**Fubudis** · 11-12-2010, 07:01 AM

Originally Posted by SelfMadeBum
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Gentlemen, gentlemen--

Say your wife earned a way more than respectable living; earned far more than you'd ever need (into the millions, if you like) and it meant you no longer had to work outside of the home to contribute to the household.

You are aware (or believe strongly) that your children would benefit from a stay at home parent, and the logical choice is you.

This means you would be required to take on the day to day tasks of household management - cleaning/cooking/laundering chores, bill paying, grocery shopping, offspring maintenance, etc. and you have your free time to follow your leisure pursuits.

Would you then be open to the idea? Take on the role with relish/resentment? Please give reasons for you answer.

I wouldn't mind working from home in addition to taking care of the kids and doing housework, but I'd feel like a leech and a sloth if I didn't have my own career and goals around that career.

I hope to one day marry someone better than me, so if I find a wife who makes bank becuase she's a hard worker and brilliant, I'll be happy with that. That's no excuse for me to be lazy and not pursue my own career and goals though.

**ElstonGunn** · 11-12-2010, 07:05 AM

Absolutely no way in hell. I'm a slob, a barbaric eater and cook, and I don't like being around kids. I can't imagine a worse-fitting job for myself-- it would make me miserable, and I'd be terrible at it. On that note, I definitely would not be the logical choice, despite the financial balance of the situation.

**SelfMadeBum** · 11-12-2010, 07:07 AM

Originally Posted by Fubudis
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I wouldn't mind working from home in addition to taking care of the kids and doing housework, but I'd feel like a leech and a sloth if I didn't have my own career and goals around that career.

I hope to one day marry someone better than me, so if I find a wife who makes bank becuase she's a hard worker and brilliant, I'll be happy with that. That's no excuse for me to be lazy and not pursue my own career and goals though.

Again - I'm asking if you would (even if it's temporary) give up your job/career to be a house husband.

**Marcus Septim** · 11-12-2010, 07:07 AM

**incamy** · 11-12-2010, 07:09 AM

hell to the no. how useless.

**SelfMadeBum** · 11-12-2010, 07:10 AM

	Originally Posted by incamy To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	hell to the no. how useless.

Running a household is useless?

**Necrosis** · 11-12-2010, 07:17 AM

	Originally Posted by SelfMadeBum To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I didn't mean for it to seem like you'd still be able to have a job. I mean if you would give up your job to be a stay-at-home husband.

I don't see how you can't not still have a job. I don't mean a full time job with some company. You can have your own small little projects and part time work. For the first few years sure you'd have to give that up, but once the kids are in school its possible to work on a part time job of your own while your at home. Theres more than enough time to take care of daily activities and still work. I think it's win win.

**True Rune** · 11-12-2010, 07:17 AM

	Originally Posted by SelfMadeBum To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I didn't mean for it to seem like you'd still be able to have a job. I mean if you would give up your job to be a stay-at-home husband.

I could do it, but I mean.. If I was forced to be be on 24 hour brat duty, that'd suck.

**Necrosis** · 11-12-2010, 07:17 AM

	Originally Posted by SelfMadeBum To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Again - I'm asking if you would (even if it's temporary) give up your job/career to be a house husband.

But of course if you mean temporary than my answer is still yes
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**GrnEyz** · 11-12-2010, 07:18 AM

	Originally Posted by SelfMadeBum To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Gentlemen, gentlemen-- This means you would be required to take on the day to day tasks of household management - cleaning/cooking/laundering chores, bill paying, grocery shopping, offspring maintenance, etc. and you have your free time to follow your leisure pursuits.

If in fact money is not an issue...

cleaning/cooking/laundering--------->nanny
bill paying-------------------------->grneyz
grocery shopping------------------->nanny
offspring maint--------------------->nanny/grneyz

I would continue my development quests as I consider these critical to my sanity even though the potential money to be made wouldn't be necessary.

**Sawa Hinuyo** · 11-12-2010, 07:25 AM

Ok.
Sure.
Where do I sign up?

**TenochAcampicht** · 11-12-2010, 07:29 AM

	Originally Posted by SelfMadeBum To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	I didn't mean for it to seem like you'd still be able to have a job. I mean if you would give up your job to be a stay-at-home husband.

Yes, I'd still be able to do it. I like being at home, in between cooking and cleaning which I anyway do for myself. In between cooking and cleaning, I can read, have video games, annoy people on forums (:P), play music and catch up on some movies. If there are kids...for someone reason they like me, so I get along well...plus I miss watching Peanuts.

**Booko** · 11-12-2010, 07:29 AM

DH did exactly that. I was working the 9-5 job. He did a little tutoring on weekends and sometimes evenings.

He wanted kids more than I did. Of course he was willing, even happy, to stay home with them when it was more logical that he be the one staying home.

And for the issue of money: lol the vast majority of new parents don't have the luxury of being able to afford a nanny, so good luck with that. Life requires some hard choices and having kids only adds to the number of sacrifice you have to make.

Re: "I'll have time while the kids are in school.." No, you won't, for years. Best case scenario is you only have 1 kid to take care of, you have preschool available, and then you're looking at a mere 4 years at home. And no, you won't be able to do much work at home if you're taking care of the house too. If you think you will, borrow someone's toddler for a day.

**incamy** · 11-12-2010, 07:35 AM

	Originally Posted by SelfMadeBum To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Running a household is useless?

to each their own. it would have never crossed my mind ever to be a stay-at-home dad. if by some extremely rare occurrence, i ever get to the point of marrying some pretty girl and reproducing, i would only accept the complete opposite of the idea. it would be completely useless for me to play catch-up in the household while there are many ventures in the world for me to embark on. on top of that, children drive me insane.

even if money were not the issue, which in my personal case it never has been, it would be a disgrace to let the wife out into the wild while i sit in the safety of my home. the only time i'd consider getting married is after i've built a thriving foundation. my wife would be the one who caters to the home.

this idea just has no bearings upon my reality at the moment.

**Fubudis** · 11-12-2010, 07:42 AM

	Originally Posted by SelfMadeBum To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	Again - I'm asking if you would (even if it's temporary) give up your job/career to be a house husband.

No.

I guess I'm bias becuase I was raised by two corporate business parents so I had a nanny for part of the day while they were at work. That being said, I learned the value of money and good work ethic at a very early age, as both of my parents wreaked of success. I feel like if one of my parents had stayed home all day, I would be more inclined to expect that sort of dynamic in my future relationships.

**ischuldt** · 11-12-2010, 07:48 AM

I wouldn't mind staying home with the kids for the most part, but I would probably spend most of my time working on my own home business(some kind of website).
A little cooking and cleaning wouldn't kill me, but yeah I would have to able to work on something of my own to make a name for myself. I don't think I would ever want to just be relegated to that type of status.

**SelfMadeBum** · 11-12-2010, 07:59 AM

Originally Posted by incamy
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to each their own. it would have never crossed my mind ever to be a stay-at-home dad. if by some extremely rare occurrence, i ever get to the point of marrying some pretty girl and reproducing, i would only accept the complete opposite of the idea. it would be completely useless for me to play catch-up in the household while there are many ventures in the world for me to embark on. on top of that, children drive me insane.

even if money were not the issue, which in my personal case it never has been, it would be a disgrace to let the wife out into the wild while i sit in the safety of my home. the only time i'd consider getting married is after i've built a thriving foundation. my wife would be the one who caters to the home.

this idea just has no bearings upon my reality at the moment.

You've completely ignored the scenario I gave, but I have your answer nevertheless.

**Fubudis** · 11-12-2010, 08:00 AM

	Originally Posted by SelfMadeBum To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
	You've completely ignored the scenario I gave, but I have your answer nevertheless.

Just curious, what sparked this question?

IotaNull · 11-12-2010, 08:06 AM

I wouldn't be overly happy about it, but I wouldn't rule it out.

View Poll Results: Would you become a house husband?
Yes (I am INTJ)	44	53.66%
No (I am not INTJ)	2	2.44%
No (I am INTJ)	24	29.27%
Yes (I am not INTJ)	6	7.32%
Undecided/Other	6	7.32%
Voters: 82. You may not vote on this poll

11-12-2010, 06:19 AM	#1
SelfMadeBum Core Member [514%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 20,587	Gentlemen, gentlemen-- Say your wife earned a way more than respectable living; earned far more than you'd ever need (into the millions, if you like) and it meant you no longer had to work outside of the home to contribute to the household. You are aware (or believe strongly) that your children would benefit from a stay at home parent, and the logical choice is you. This means you would be required to take on the day to day tasks of household management - cleaning/cooking/laundering chores, bill paying, grocery shopping, offspring maintenance, etc. and you have your free time to follow your leisure pursuits. Would you then be open to the idea? Take on the role with relish/resentment? Please give reasons for you answer.
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11-12-2010, 06:32 AM	#3
TenochAcampicht Member [29%] MBTI: INTP Join Date: Aug 2010 Posts: 1,171	If she was the one with the job that required her to be out of the house, and my work made it so that I am usually at home, I would of course be a stay at home husband. My belief is, while domestic chores should be shared by all who live in the house, the person who stays at home is responsible for the cooking/cleaning mainly. If the man is at home, it's his job to do it, if the wife is, it's hers, if they both work, they need to either get a cleaning service or share duties. I do web-design now. I also record music, with both of these, it's mainly done at home. Would I have any problem with my wife was say a accountant, auditor, doctor, teacher, psychologist, etc. and I had to do the cooking? No. I do the cooking at my own house, and I am good with cooking if I do say so myself. I clean up after myself now anyway, A little more is no issue. It could be swapped on weekend. The wife can then on the weekends do some of the cooking (And vice versa if man is at work, wife at home). The main cleaning is no issue. On another issue though, would I expect if I just used a glass and want to have it washed and my wife is the one at home, that my wife should clean it? No, I can clean it myself obviously. Same goes in the reverse.
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11-12-2010, 06:35 AM	#4
SelfMadeBum Core Member [514%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 20,587	I didn't mean for it to seem like you'd still be able to have a job. I mean if you would give up your job to be a stay-at-home husband.
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11-12-2010, 06:43 AM	#5
themuzicman Core Member [288%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 11,532	Absolutely. Kids at school, I get my alone-time all day... I'd just create a regular schedule to get the work done, and spend the rest of my time in whatever way I wanted to. I'd do it in a heartbeat.
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11-12-2010, 06:54 AM	#6
karenann33 Member [31%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Aug 2009 Posts: 1,278	I answered for my dh who is an INTJ. He says absolutely NOT! Says you couldn't pay him to do what I do. It's harder than it looks. My life was easier when I worked outside the home. .....although I am counting the days to when my youngest starts school. I will then get 6 blissful hours alone all to myself. I can't wait!
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11-12-2010, 07:05 AM	#8
ElstonGunn Core Member [152%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 6,098	Absolutely no way in hell. I'm a slob, a barbaric eater and cook, and I don't like being around kids. I can't imagine a worse-fitting job for myself-- it would make me miserable, and I'd be terrible at it. On that note, I definitely would not be the logical choice, despite the financial balance of the situation.
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11-12-2010, 07:07 AM	#10
Marcus Septim Suspended MBTI: ISTJ Join Date: Feb 2010 Posts: 4,354	No
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11-12-2010, 07:09 AM	#11
incamy Member [05%] MBTI: ENTJ Join Date: Jun 2010 Posts: 220	hell to the no. how useless.
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11-12-2010, 07:25 AM	#17
Sawa Hinuyo Member [04%] MBTI: INTP Join Date: Aug 2009 Posts: 187	Ok. Sure. Where do I sign up?
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11-12-2010, 07:29 AM	#19
Booko Veteran Member [87%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 3,502	DH did exactly that. I was working the 9-5 job. He did a little tutoring on weekends and sometimes evenings. He wanted kids more than I did. Of course he was willing, even happy, to stay home with them when it was more logical that he be the one staying home. And for the issue of money: lol the vast majority of new parents don't have the luxury of being able to afford a nanny, so good luck with that. Life requires some hard choices and having kids only adds to the number of sacrifice you have to make. Re: "I'll have time while the kids are in school.." No, you won't, for years. Best case scenario is you only have 1 kid to take care of, you have preschool available, and then you're looking at a mere 4 years at home. And no, you won't be able to do much work at home if you're taking care of the house too. If you think you will, borrow someone's toddler for a day.
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11-12-2010, 07:48 AM	#22
ischuldt Veteran Member [73%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Aug 2010 Posts: 2,952	I wouldn't mind staying home with the kids for the most part, but I would probably spend most of my time working on my own home business(some kind of website). A little cooking and cleaning wouldn't kill me, but yeah I would have to able to work on something of my own to make a name for myself. I don't think I would ever want to just be relegated to that type of status.
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11-12-2010, 08:06 AM	#25
IotaNull Core Member [234%] MBTI: INTJ Join Date: Jul 2010 Posts: 9,377	I wouldn't be overly happy about it, but I wouldn't rule it out.
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